Chapter 3
"Lucy my dear, how are you?"
Mrs Josephine Neil called out as she plodded her way to the front door to greet her. Jace had that in common with them, warm and chubby mums who made cuddling into an addiction. Lucy happily sank her thin frame into her embrace.
But that enthusiasm dimmed instantly as she was pulled out of her warm hug and then all but thrust into Jace's dad's enveloping embrace. An embrace that was as always, bone crushing and to the point of almost suffocating. It was also followed by a heavy pat on her head.
"Lucy my dear, have you grown any bigger? Still no hair, I see." Daniel Neil boomed out at her before shaking his head in disapproval. He thumped at her back mightily sending the last breath out of her lungs in a wisp so that she had to croak out her response, "Great to see you again, Mr Neil."
Then she was being tugged out of Mr Neil's bear hug and into a gentler version of it. Only this one heated her up, creating that strange yearning sensations again that was equally effective in stealing her breath.
"Dad," murmured the husky voice belonging to Jace as he breathed over her ruffling the tousled strands of her hair. "You were squashing her," admonished her rescuer Jace, taking the moment to subtlety squeeze her before he too released Lucy with a sure grin.
Lucy couldn't help her glare at that. In the short space of his dropping by her house to their arrival at his place, Jace had taken shameless advantage of invading her personal space at every turn. But to what intent? Was he on to her? Did he know she suffered this undeniable attraction to the insufferable man? Was he playing her? Narrowing her eyes knowingly at the playful glint in his, she couldn't help believing there was truth to her suspicions.
Lucy drew in a ragged breath that instantly filled her straining lungs and was happy she was spared from having to respond at all with Emily's timely outburst," I'm starving! Is there anything to eat?"
They all laughed at that, Lucy more so than usual. But her forced laugh seemed to have the desired effect, releasing the strange tension that seemed to grow within her each time she was in Jace's vicinity. Feeling a little of the usual normalcy return, Lucy drew in a relieved breath which then got caught in her throat as she made the mistake of catching Jace's knowing grin.
It had all begun three summers ago, this cat and mouse chase between Jace and Lucy. Since her sweet sixteenth to be exact. When her lips found themselves locked against his in a her very first kiss. Her only kiss since. That lip lock had been guilty of many a late night wet dream. At least it had for her. Jace, however, flitted from blossom to blossom with each change in the season. His interest in her was nothing more than to torment, knowing his effect on her.
But no more! As with every year, since, her resolution to keep Jace on end and guessing, still stood. To her way of thinking, it didn't matter how much she panted over him. If she wasn't admitting it, she was safe. Just as with any other game. To admit their mutual attraction is to concede defeat.
She narrowed her eyes at him warningly. "Don't forget my surf board," she called back to Jace, as she made to follow the rest into tiny kitchen space.
It didn't make sense, the Neil's with all their millions, couldn't set aside a few grand to extend the place. They certainly splashed enough in renovating it and furnishing it and it was not as though they didn't have the land to support it. Sighing inwardly, she plastered the smile expected of her as she settled herself onto the kitchen stool to answer the rudimentary questions about her mum and dad and then respond to the usual reminiscence over the last time they had gotten together there.
Lucy nodded and murmured all the required responses, doing her duty as the eldest to entertain their hosts while her unsupportive sisters took themselves off immediately to get ready for the beach. Lucy sipped at her orange juice, helped herself to the light repast of sandwiches and smiled tightly. The knowledge that Jace was around, at the back of her mind and as always, haunting. Lucy rubbed absently at the goosebumbs that covered skin.
A laugh just at her back told her Jace was not unaware of her problem.
"Mummy, you're hogging our guest," he chided gently. "We want to get down to the beach. Lucy still has to prove to me she hasn't gone all girly on me this last winter and forgotten how to surf."
Lucy gritted her teeth in affront and turned to bare it in a half snarl. Like always, just when she did lean towards being at all girly around him, he challenged her back into her usual tomboyish ways. It sometimes served as a relief, in snubbing her bourgeoning feelings for him in bud, and at other times, like the present – it just irked her into losing her temper. Manners forgotten, Lucy bounded to her feet to turn on him.
"You're on!" She declared before turning towards his bedroom, the room they all shared when they stayed there. She was happy to go in as is, but she knew from experience, the water would soak through her t-shirt and reveal way more than she was willing to put on display.
"Alright dears," called out Mrs Neil after them, "but dinner is at seven! Don't be late."
Emily squealed and whipped off her t-shirt as she went hasting out the back door. Her grip on Cat firm as she tugged her along after her. Lucy turned to Jace.
"I can't wait to strip down to my bathers."
There was an ominous ring to his husky tone as he said that over her shoulder, sending shivers of reaction trembling down her spine. Lucy stiffened her spine and straightened her shoulders.
"Oh, alright then," she managed, if a little breathlessly. Lucy made for the bed, where all their luggage had been unceremoniously pilled upon. She spared him an admonishing look over her shoulder before reaching out for her bag. Rummaging within, she tugged out her trusty one-piece suit. Jace's groan was audible behind her, Lucy turned back to find his bright gazed narrowed on the black stretchy material.
"You still have that? It must be three years old," he exclaimed rudely.
But Lucy merely shrugged. It was. Her sixteenth birthday present to be precise and Jace should know. He bought it for her.
"Its good quality," she complimented appreciatively.
"But poor design," he muttered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"No nothing." Jace said shaking his head. "I'll get changed in the bathroom. You go ahead and use the room," he offered graciously. That had her narrowing her eyes. He was never gracious. At least not with her.
"Nope, I need to use the bathroom. You change here." Pushing past him, she went to do just that.
The suit was a tight fit but not by much. Lucy really hadn't blossomed out all that much in the last three years. Her waist was tinier but bust was much the same. Small and pert.
But despite that, the suit, for some reason, appeared snug to her eyes, as she surveyed her length in the floor-length mirror. Shrugging her shoulders indifferently, Lucy ran a rough hand through her boy-cut hair, glad for its no-fuss no-muss style and simply walked on out. Making her way back to Jace's room, to drop her things and grab her board. The room was devoid of Jace. Catching sight of a bottle of sunblock, she paused to squirt some onto the palm of her hand and apply it across the bared expanse of her skin.
"I would have done that for you," Jace murmured reprovingly, his gaze instantly turning salacious as she shot him a look through the dressing mirror. His gaze met her own, boldly daring. Lucy forced the tremble out of her shaking limbs, straightening her spine, she offered what she hoped was an indifferent shrug but murmured, almost breathlessly, "Be my guest." She tossed the bottle at him and watched as he niftily fielded it before turning to offer him her back.
The back to the suit was modestly low cut and his hands when they landed on her heated skin was chilled by the moist spread on his palm. Lucy gritted her teeth as goose bumps of reaction set her shivering against her will.
His hands were steady and sure as they brushed against her back making her wonder just how many times he had performed this menial task and for whom. It was no secret, at least not to her, that Jace Neil was never without a girlfriend but for the life of her she couldn't recall if he was with anyone now or between women as he sometimes was.
And, it was a question she was going to grit her teeth against asking.
"Right," he murmured huskily in her ear. "Done. Do you want it anywhere else? Here perhaps?" His long fingers brushed against her arms, running caressingly down their length. Lucy turned swiftly to conceal an unbidden shudder.
"Nope." She muttered shortly. "I'm good."
Reaching out to grab her beach bag already packed with all her needs, she slipped on her tongs and said, "Shall we?"
Then without waiting for a reply, Lucy walked off, waving at the Neil's as she made her way to trudge down the winding path that led down the cliff's edge to their own private alcove. It was paradise. This was the reason why the Neil's bought the little cottage and why they put up with its tiny frame. The wonders of nature should never be rivalled with man's intrusive construct. In this at least, Lucy has happy the Neil's shared her good sense but in all other aspect, they were a lavish lot.
She spied the twins already basking in the sun and decided to catch a wave out first before she settled in to an afternoon of quiet reading. Tossing her bag aside, Lucy took hold of her board and eyed Jace challengingly. The smirk on her face said it all but she could help goading him further. "Keep up, if you can."
Jace widened his teasing blue eyes and let his mouth fall open.
Laughing at his mock affront, Lucy took off in a head start, determined to catch the first wave before Jace. But she heard his feet padding after her on the soft unblemished sand and knew it was going to be close. Splashing into the water and openly laughing now, Lucy dropped her board and tossed herself on before paddling out in earnest to wait for the next big wave. Jace caught up to her but spaced himself away. He was clearly determined to ride the wave with her.
Her laughter rang out once more already exhilarated by the challenge and Jace's taunting grin only widened in acknowledgement. Soon a big one rolled in, carrying her with it, Lucy was swift to clamber up, her knees bent and feet steady. She cried out her enthusiasm before giving in to the pull of the wave, allowing the natural rhythm of the ocean to belt out a music she was familiar with under the beauty of a wave arching over her.
The silence within was dispelled only by the muted rush of water, her own heavy breathing and the thudding of adrenaline in her heart. Being enveloped in this blue world was usually therapeutic but this time, Lucy felt charged with energy, she broke free of the wave and glided over it to the shoreline before casually stepping off her board to sprint back to her bag, dragging the board behind her. She tossed aside the board and rummaged her bag for the letter.
"What? Done in, already?" Jace queried panting up to her. "You're not calling it quits, already are you? We're just getting started." He tossed down his own board before plopping down onto the sand beside her. Lucy spared him a cursory glance before mutely shaking her head and then she pulled out the envelope.
"So, are you going to open it?" Jace startled Lucy into realising that she had been staring at the envelope that she held in her hand.
"I am going to tear it up." Lucy whispered almost hoarsely.
Jace reacted in an instant, his hand fell on hers and the letter was wrangled from her gasp.
"Tear it? Are you mad?" He demanded. "When are you going to stop running away from a past you had nothing to do with and accept what is?"
"You stay out of this, Jace. This has nothing to do with you," Lucy cried out, before rising hurriedly to her feet only to launch herself at him determined to get hold of the letter.
"What is tearing it up going to achieve? Your past is not going to change," he said urgently, as he furiously fielded her attempts to wrangle the letter from him. Then he added softly, "You are not going to change, either." He knew of her secret fears just as he knew everything there was to know about her. Lucy was afraid of accepting that side of her. The side of her that connected her to Knyte Starr. The soul within that had her reaching out to sing It was in her blood. Ever present and throbbing. But Lucy was determined to deny that part of her, to deny the very existence of another father... and a missing brother.
Of course, there would be consequence from reading that letter. Losing the life-she-loved, was that consequence.
"If that is true then there is no point in reading it at all," she said stubbornly. Jace was the only one who knew the contents of each letter she'd ever gotten off her real father, he had been there when she'd first decided to read the damn things and had all but held her hand through the entire heart wrenching ordeal.
For years now, the letters had played an instrumental part of her life. It was a constant reminder that there was another who held a claim over her. It had worried her that he would one-day swoop in to steal her from the family she knew and loved. That Knyte Starr would fleet in and take her away. Living with that fear had been daunting but having Jace at her side had made it bearable.
Lucy dropped her gaze to the envelope, a horrible feeling coming over her. "I am not reading that letter."
"Then I will read it for you." Jace easily dodged her reaching hands and swiftly stood, his nimble fingers making short work of the envelope and then the letter was in his hands. Unfolded, shaken straight and ready to be read.
A quick perusal later and his head shot back up to pierce her with twin sapphires that rivalled the darkest depths of the ocean spread before them. Lucy drew in a gasp, never having seen such dark intensity in his gaze before. "What? What is it? What does he say?"
"He wants to see you," Jace spat out almost rudely, shocking her in his intensity but more over his clear displeasure. The about turn had her stunned so that it was sometime before she gathered her senses to respond. "But isn't that what you've always championed? My meeting the man who fathered me?"
She rose to her feet too staring at Jace confused.
"Yes! No!" Jace drew an agitated hand through his sun kissed locks before gritting out unhappily, "But not like this. Not now."
"Now? What does now have to do with it?" Lucy shook her head at him confused. Jace tended to revert to epic-confusing when he was not doing what he did best, teasing her into an antagonising awareness of his insufferable self. "Well anyway," she said, deciding to focus her angst on the things that matter, "I don't want to see him. He can come here if he wants but I won't see him. I am beginning a new chapter of my life and I don't need the complication." Lucy stared back at Jace determinedly, but her golden gaze did nothing to hide the fear and anxiety she was experiencing. Jace's own steely blues softened at the sight of her confusion and he carefully folded the letter he held to replace it into its envelope.
"Don't you think you're being a little selfish?" He asked, forgetting his own ire to this unexpected news only a moment earlier. "And it's not him who is flying down to Australia but you who will be flying off to San Francisco. Your ticket is included with this letter."
Lucy gasped, then eyed the offending rectangle that Jace held in his hand. She launched herself blindly after it once more. His laughter rang out as he nimbly dodged her reaching hands, his feet easily shuffling backward taking himself and the letter out of reach. But then his gaze fell on the approaching Emily and he grimaced, distracting Lucy momentarily from the shocking news that Knyte Starr wanted to see her.
Emily hadn't gone and done what she thought she had or had she? When had she found the time? Lucy racked her brains but could only come up with that short span of time when she had disappeared to the bathroom. Emily must have doubled back to the house to catch Jace alone and tell him she loved him.
"I'll keep this for now," he said waving the letter at Lucy. "And... we should head back in." Jace sobered up enough to say before he glanced pensively back at Emily, who was looking unusually grim for her nature. "Talk to Em, will you. She needs you," Jace said before he moved off to gather up their scattered belongings. Lucy stifled a groan realising that this was it.
Emily had confessed her feelings for Jace and naturally he had rejected her. Jace was five years older than her. At twenty-one, he was to all intents and purposes a man while she was still a child in the eyes of the law.
Lucy picked up her things and moved to join Emily who was lagging instead of running ahead as was usual and looking oddly naked without Cat at her side as her constant companion.
"Em? Are you okay?"
And just like that the dam burst and Emily flung her arms about Lucy and wept her heart out. Lucy's own heart constricted with pain and she felt her own eyes well up in tears. Only she had to admit, her tears stemmed more from the unavoidable feeling that things were rapidly spiralling out of control, then over the ache of Emily's passing fancies.
"My poor beautiful little sister. Tell me what's wrong," Lucy said, knowing full well what it was all about.
"J... Ja. Jace doesn't want me," she hiccupped but got it out.
"Shhh. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." Lucy rubbed her arms trying to infuse some warmth to the chilled skin. She felt oddly responsible over Emily's rejected calf love. Jace was her best friend, if anyone could see just how easy it was to fall for his impossible charms it was Lucy. She should have better prepared her against it ever happening. Warn her not to fall in love with him.
It's been three years and Lucy still struggled to stay afloat. To keep her head above water. To breathe. To survive her own ever spiralling out of control infatuation with Jace. An infatuation she would never knowingly give into. She knew better than anyone else, Jace was not into women. At least, not for keeps. He went through his girlfriends like he did underwear.
"Jace is an idiot," she begun almost vehemently, "to not see you for what you are."
Then she bit off a muffled oath, wincing at her poor choice of words. Lucy knew her words were meant more for herself then for Emily. "We've known Jace for far too long anyway. He's practically a brother to us," Lucy had to choke off her own self-disgust at that but smiled merrily, when Emily leaned back to stare at Lucy incredulously.
There was no way Jace could be anyone's brother. He was just too hot for that. Smart, savvy and sexy as hell. Worst yet, Jace had that unique ability to mix humour with sensuality. There was honestly nothing he could say and do to reduce his irresistibility, Lucy would know- she had certainly spent the better part of their acquaintance searching for just that.
Lucy resisted fanning herself and instead stretched her lips in a wider smile hoping to cheer Em out of unrequited love with no more than a glimmer of pearly white teeth. She was sure Emily saw through her attempts, but she tried anyway and gave Lucy a pathetic watery smile that wrung her heart anew.
"It will get better love. You'll see. In time you'll meet the person who was meant to love you. This is just part of the journey. Everyone gets rejected at some point," Lucy started off well but then finished off lamely having blithely run out of meaningful things to say.
"Have you been rejected," asked Emily, suddenly curious over Lucy's non-existent love life. Her own recent rejection opening her up to the undeniable possibility that her sister's love life was as non-existent as her own. At least for the moment, Emily was never one to let the grass grow under her feet. She knew this momentary lapse of focus in herself was fleeting and so was determined to pry into her sister's absent love life while her own woes kept her a little less self-absorbed then was usual.
"Sure, lots of times," Lucy lied, not having the nerve to tell her that her own interest was firmly fixed on Emily's current infatuation. She'd never strayed to even glance at another, but it dawned on her then that perhaps it was time to start doing just that. It was time to set aside her own childish infatuations with Jace and try for something new... something real.
"Okay, I feel better now," Emily said abruptly, before she threw Lucy a brave but watery grin and then she turned to run down the path that led to the cliffside before making the climb back to the house. Lucy stared after her feeling more than a little confused herself. Seeing Emily cry over Jace made her realise that was exactly what she'd been silently doing herself for the past three years.
It was time to move on. Time to let go. Perhaps, accepting that invitation from Knyte Starr was the way forward. Torn with her own jumbled thoughts, Lucy turned the opposite way and went back to the beach.
She had just reached a spot that offered her a vantage point on the views that would only be conducive to deep thinking when she heard, "That's a wonderful thing you did for Em. But I'm not all that brotherly-like, surely?"
Lucy turned an amused glance to take in his oddly confused one. "Why? Do you want to add the Little sisters to your list of conquests?"
His smile turned rakish at that but the dark cloud in his gaze didn't shift the slightest. "I don't...," he trailed off searchingly, looking for the right word, "I don't know what I want, only that I do... want."
His gaze pinned hers at that before drifting away to stare out at the open sea. Lucy shook her head helplessly at Jace. This was the reason she couldn't seem to shake him off her mind. He had moments of crystal clear honesty and leaned just as much on her to solve his own darkness as she did on him. Only she never really understood what it was exactly that caused that swirl of darkness in him. What was it that made him sometimes lash out in spite and sarcasm? He wore that sarcasm like an armour and Lucy had never really managed to chip through. Perhaps, she never would.
Her hand reached out to grasp his. "You want altogether too much," she said, not-for-the-first-time, reprovingly. His hungry gaze turned from the waters to train on hers searchingly before his lips widened in an open grin that was finally reaching his eyes.
"And you don't want enough."
Lucy grinned back, content to have him poke his little bit of fun at her. "I'll peek at that letter now," she said then, releasing his hand to reach out an open palm for it. Jace made a great show of pretending to search for it, trying to antagonise a rise out of her but for once, Lucy was feeling a little too deflated to do more than quirk a brow at his efforts. The letter landed on her palm a moment later, looking a lot crumpled and not a little worse for wear. She clucked her tongue reprovingly at him before bending to the task of reading it.
My dear darling Ara,
Lucy winced at the address. It was always the same, with Knyte Starr refusing to address her with the name she carried her whole life or by her given first name either. Seeing it, as always, set her teeth on edge before she resumed to unhappily take in what he wanted to say.
I watched you from afar, seen you grow from the infant that left my home to the young woman you have become, all from the written words your mom penned diligently to me. It's time we met. Face to face. Father and daughter. I have attached the ticket and dated it a little over month from your reading this letter. First class all the way. A month is all I can give you to consider this and accept the inevitable and that is- we must meet.
It is time Ara.
Time, you revert to your real name and resume your real life, here with me.
Your dad,
Knyte Starr
Ps: I have word that your brother is returning to us. We will be a family once more.
"My brother?" Lucy gasped, her startled gaze rising to clash with Jace's icy blues. "My twin brother is found."
"So, it seems." Jace didn't look anymore happy by the news than she felt. Lucy's heart thudded with shock and mingled excitement. Her brother! Found at long last.
"Do you think mum knows?" Lucy raised a wondering eye at Jace. She hadn't recalled her mother being all that excited that morning, but she did recall her father saying they had read the letter. They knew its contents.
They knew. But their lack of surprise at this news must mean they had known about her brother much earlier. That made sense. While Lucy herself, had never spoken with her father, she knew her parents had been in constant contact with him.
Not exactly 'penning letters per say', but who even did that anymore? Lucy waved off the customary eyeroll over what she gathered was merely a flare of Knyte Starr's artistic licence and considered the conversations she'd overheard between her parents over the years. All those phone calls must have meant one thing- they had never given up hope on her brother being found. And now, he has been.
"I don't want you to go," Jace bit out explosively, ignoring the stupidity of her question to continue from where he left off earlier. "This doesn't feel right. All these years and your brother turns up now? And what does he mean by 'he is returning to us'? Is your brother back, or isn't he? If he is then how? That letter, if you could even call it that says absolutely nothing."
"His letters were always short." Lucy found herself inexplicably jumping in to defend the father she never known or wanted to know. The shock of his summons had finally worn off. Lucy was now feeling a budding excitement at the thought that she would be finally meeting her twin.
The brother she had always known existed somewhere in this world and mourned the loss off knowing. Her very own twin. She would finally have what Em and Cat had, but more importantly, she'd have someone who understood her, the diversity in her blood and the difficulty of being forever different from those she loved.
But then she recalled that Blaze Starr had not had the privileged up bringing that she had. He hadn't had the love of parents and siblings – he had been abducted away from that life. There was no knowing just how his life had turned out. What hardships he'd had to bear...?
"Did you hear me, Lucy?"
Lucy snapped back to attention only then realising she had drifted off in her own thoughts and not heard a word Jace had said. She stared up into his startling gaze, seeing within their blue depths the concern he was no longer bothering to hide. It was moments like this, rare and treasured as they were, that she saw the real Jace peer through the mask.
The Jace that cared more about her then he led on. The antagonising façade that he wore like a barricade lowered so that his sincere concern could shine through... and shine they did.
Lucy lost herself in the sparkle of his gaze, overwhelmed by the raw emotions she saw within. All she'd ever hoped for was there in that gaze, but she knew with absolute certainty that the sight would not last. Very soon the barriers would be back up and with it the prickly façade he wore like an amour. Always teasing, always taunting but never more. Slowly she shook her head mutely, not trusting herself to speak just yet.
His sigh was audible. His lips twisted into a rueful grin. But it didn't carry to his eyes. Those blue depths remained hard and unyielding.
"You're not going," he said, irrefutably.
As usual, her hackles rose at his high handedness. "It's not your decision to make." With that, Lucy rose to her feet agitatedly. She didn't want to start a fight, knowing that their battles were the stuff of legends and could last way longer than either of them would like it to. Longer than the month she had, certainly.
A month, she would rather spend with her friend- being friendly. Friendly? Her gaze automatically dropped to his lips at that point, luckily the ugly smirk was still there and just like that the equilibrium was reinstated. Her world righted back on its axis and her breathing resumed as was normal, albeit still a little puffed for the agitation he put her through.
His gaze clashed with hers, oddly fierce and disturbing. Its crystal-clear depths luring her in, but she fought it. With great effort, Lucy tore her amber gaze away to stare out at the deep tanzanite blue of the ocean spread out before them. The glow of gold in her gaze turned effervescent as she spun through her own inner turmoil while trying to make sense of Jace's denial. She drew a blank.
"Why?"
The one-word demand should have been enough but the narrow-eyed look that Jace turned her way told her she would need to say more to get answers from him. "Why don't you want me to go?"
She hated that her words came out brokenly, weakening her in his eyes but their disagreements had that effect on her. While she was always careful to maintain a concerted effort to remain calm in the eye of his storm, she found that she had low tolerance for his displeasure. He meant too much to her. She didn't like this vulnerability, but she couldn't seem to rid herself of it. So, she did what she could to keep it hidden. And she did that well enough with her own abrasive nature.
"Why must you be the one to go? Why can't he come here?"
A bubble of laughter threatened to spill at his words. It was just like him. All this while he had been the one doggedly encouraging her to meet with her father only to do an about turn when it happens and simply because he wanted it done on his terms.
"What difference does it make, if I fly there or he pops over here?" She offered him a small smile, needing to know.
"The difference is you won't be alone here. Everyone you know, and love is here. They would all be there with you. I will be there with you. Over at the States, you'd be alone, facing two men you have never met... claiming an intimate connexion to you."
Put it like that... and Lucy felt her heart rate notch up a bit. All the fears of her past, accelerating forward in one swirling rush. Weirdly, in all her past imaginations of this moment, she'd never considered a scenario where she would be the one- flying over to meet the two missing men of her life that should have been a staple from childhood.
Her gaze dropped worriedly down to the letter she still held. Her mind scrambling for a way out of it. She never wanted to meet with her father anyhow. She was happy with the way things were.
She had a father whom she loved with all her heart and who loved her in return, but she knew, even as she contemplated the possibility of not going, that her own stubborn nature would allow her no peace until she saw this through. Jace's heavy sigh, told her he'd come to the same conclusion too.
"Well, there's a month between," said Jace, more to calm himself then her. "A lot could happen between now and then to change things."
Lucy merely nodded in response, not trusting herself to speak. She dropped to her haunches, allowing her knees to burrow into the still sun-warmed sand. The ocean swept in tauntingly, flicking out a long stretch of foamy tendrils reaching out towards her before stopping and drawing back on itself. Lucy's amber gaze went seemingly out with it, yearning for a solution to her confusion to emerge from its inviting blue depths.
Jace folded his long frame to settle down onto the soft sand beside her. They sat there quietly for a while as Lucy turned to stare up at Jace and him out at the sea. After a moment of useless perusal, she turned away to look at the wild ocean swells and surging waves breaking onto the shore.
The skies had turned a dusky grey hue matching the wild furies of the roughening sea. She watched as the waves rose high before slamming against the rocky surface of the cliffside. It was relatively milder closer to the white sandy beach where it broke gently to soak up the sand not too far from where they sat.
"It's going to rain," he said.
"Yes, it is."
They sat there in relative silence lost in their own thoughts watching the sun set casting a strange orange hue across the greyish skies and then it was gone. Abruptly, darkness fell, and the chill of the night swept across the previously heated beach. It roused them from their reverie.
Lucy rose and dusted the sand off her bottom then draped the beach towel about herself as she turned to head back to the house, gathering her belongings with her as she went.
"Wait for me," murmured Jace and just like that the strange tension that had been relatively absent in their shared moment earlier, hovering tauntingly on the edges of her senses, now flooded back in with a vengeance. Lucy bit off a muffled curse as the trembling awareness of Jace-the-man settled in bone deep and her limbs all but rattled because of it. It was akin to the flu this unhealthy infatuation she had for him. A sickness from which there was no healing. It would run its course. However long that may be and she would simply have to survive the shivers, fight the fevers and then simply grin and bear it.
They walked back in silence. Lucy shivered and trembled each time he reached out to touch her to guide her up the narrow path. But later she clung to the arm he offered, deciding to give in to the delicious feel of his touch and simply enjoy the delicious sensations rushing down her spine. They made their way slowly back to the little cottage. The light from the kitchen casting a beam across the footpath lighting their way back.
Lucy stopped by the door to listening to the conversation and laughter within, feeling oddly remote. Detached from the merriment inside but strangely connected to the man beside her. The thrill in her heart grew unabashed. She knew she would only suffer the disappointment that came with it after but for that moment, she didn't care. She allowed her senses and her imaginations its flight of fancy.
"Shall we go in," Jace asked quietly, almost hesitantly, seeming to share the poignancy of the moment. Lucy mutely nodded in reply, not trusting herself to speak, then stepped forward to move in ahead of him.
Emily's bright laughter was the first she heard but it sounded strained and false to Lucy's sensitively knowing ears. She did not look to Jace to see his reaction or to judge him. He was not at fault. Emily's affection had been a figment of her own imagination just as her own was much the same. Jace couldn't be expected to return it.
Lucy fixed a fake smile of her own as she hurried past everyone to Jace's room where her belongings were stashed. Pausing only for a change and her towel she grabbed a random pair of shorts and t-shirt and moved to quickly shower in the tiny bathroom.
She was quick in the shower, washing off the salt and sand but not the confusion of her time spent with Jace. Her heart ached heavily for something she didn't understand. But she didn't linger over her toilet knowing she had to help with the barby for dinner.
If there was one thing Jace was terrible at it was grilling meat on the barby. Bumping into Jace on her way out, Lucy couldn't avoid meeting his gaze and found herself unexpectedly scorched for her efforts. Dropping her own like hot bricks, her head followed in a droop as her senses were swamped in a sudden bout of shyness and confusion.
She hurried past him unwilling to say anything and needing to put some distance between them. She hated these feelings Jace made her feel. Feelings that had only gotten worse over time and seemed to oddly magnify as much in his absence as it did in his presence. She was so over drooling after him. But its seemed nothing she did would release her from this unhealthy obsession with him.
The girls were already gathered around the old coal fired barby, helping Mrs Neil spear the meat onto sticks. The gathering clouds in the skies above blocked out the twinkling stars only to release a spectre of pyro techniques lighting up the darkened night skies.
"We might be in for rain this night," said Mr Neil, looking at the display critically. Lucy ignored the hair-raising sight and busied about igniting the starter. She added dry wood into the mix and then expertly fanned the flame till barby hissed and spat-out fire.
"I hope all that heat is not aimed at my tender behind." Jace's quietly murmured words sparked a bout of laughter around them but neither Lucy nor Jace himself joined in. Their eyes met over the grill before Lucy tore hers away to lay on the marinated meat. The sizzle of its juice falling onto hot coal hissed in the air sending up the scent of the charred lather of ingredients. The heat fanned out over the meat as the flames grew. But Lucy's gaze was back where they started glued on Jace's.
"Don't let it burn," called out Mrs Neil, returning Lucy's wandering attentions back to the grill.
"Not burn," she murmured considering. That was exactly what she was trying not to do. Get burned in meeting her father and get burned in her feelings for Jace. Getting burned was all that appeared on the horizon for her. She sighed unhappily before resolutely turning her attention to the task before her. The dinner she was preparing at least would not be suffering that same fate.
The fire under the grill flared bright and soon the idle chatter around her subsided to a silence that greeted ravenous appetites busy indulging in a feast after a day willed away inhaling the refreshing sea air. Lucy snuffed out the last of the coal embers with a splash of water and then she too joined the others with a plate of her own.
"So, what have you younglings planned over the next few days?" asked Mr Neil over dinner. Lucy chowed down on her Caesar salad and waited for Jace's answer. She had no idea what he'd planned for their weekend but that was not unusual. Jace was known to make impromptu plans and Lucy was more than used to simply ride along with it.
"There is a party at Richard's place. I'll take the girls there Sunday night," said Jace, raising instant doubts in her mind. Richard Reeves was not her most favourite person. "Tomorrow, I was thinking we could just chill on the beach and maybe check out the local haunts at night."
But Lucy's thoughts were stuck on his plans for Sunday night. Richard Reeves, was another of their childhood friends. Only he was more Jace's friend then hers. She never really got on with him when they were kids and later she simply lost touch with him when he stopped hanging with Jace while he was with the Little's. Richard was older, twenty-six to Jace's twenty-one. He had never really belonged and now he was simply the billionaire playboy who lived in Jace's neighbourhood. The pal he hung out with when he wasn't with the Littles. Lucy was never comfortable with that side of Jace. His rich friends and they're never-ending need to make the tabloids with some wild outing or other. It was not hard to keep abreast of Richard over the years, his news was as always splashed across the news. It had always disturbed Lucy to see Jace's face right there beside him.
"The twins are under aged for that kind of party." Mr Neil, thankfully, reminded Jace.
"But Richard told me his sisters will be there too and the younger is of their age. I'll keep an eye out on them," Jace said, before winking mischievously at the girls reducing them to squeals and giggles. Emily was smiling then. Lucy understood a party like this would be right up her alley, but she wasn't sure she wanted her sisters mingling in that kind of crowd even if Richard's sister was there.
This wouldn't be the first time Jace had dragged her to one of his rich friend's parties but in the past, she had managed to manoeuvre her own pre-planned exit before things got too wild for her standards. She had been nearly invisible right there beside him, so those exits hadn't been too hard to contrive.
But that didn't stop the anxious roiling in the pit of her stomach at the thought of attending such a party again. It wasn't the drugs and drunks that got to her, it was the horrible people. Rich snobs who thought they were above everyone else. They hated her friendship with Jace but had respected him too much to do no less than tolerate her presence. She didn't want her sister's in that sort of company.
"Okay then," agreed Mr Neil, reluctantly. "I'll trust Lucy to look after you guys and make sure no one gets in trouble. "
"What...?" Lucy started to voice out a protest, but Jace cut in quickly, "That's great dad. We'll have a smashing time of it."
Lucy could only glare at him.
"Let's wash up, darlings," Mrs Neil reminded them then. The rain was already starting to patter down around them in a light steady drizzle that would likely continue all night long. The girls were back to their usual selves, giggling and squabbling over tales of their past.
"I can't believe it was you who put that huntsman spider on my bed," cried out Cat in mock affront, as she moved to carry the plates back to the kitchen
"You better believe it," said Jace, unapologetically proud of the feat. Lucy only shook her head remembering that incident. She'd been as much to blame as Jace. The spider had been her idea.
"Are you sure it was just you?" Cat questioned knowingly. It was always hardest to put one past Cat. Such a feat was only possible if Cat chose to allow it. She was too cunning for them, otherwise.
"Of course, it was just me. Don't you think me capable?"
Lucy smiled at Jace's steadfast denial of her ever being involved. He had always been one to take the blame for her misdeeds, refusing to let her face the music. She had gotten away with way too many mischiefs because of Jace... and he protected her still, Lucy realised thinking back to his adamant refusal to let her travel to San Francisco to meet her father.
Jace and Cat bickered as they helped clean up. Picking up the dishes Lucy went to help Mrs Neil load up the dishwasher. Then after saying a round of good night she went to change into her pyjamas but as she got there, Emily was already in her night clothes carrying a pillow and blankets out to join Cat on the sofa-bed in the living room.
"Aren't you sharing with Jace?" Lucy asked her for she had been sharing his bed over every past visit.
"Nope, I'll sleep in the living room with Cat," she said, moving to push past.
"Wait! Cat could sleep with Jace," Lucy said then, wanting to avoid her looming fate.
"Nope," Emily shook her head. "I need her with me," she explained simply, and Lucy accepted that she did, the two were incredibly close and with her recent disappointment with Jace still fresh on her mind, she would need the comfort that only Cat could provide. Lucy nodded her head, but she couldn't share Jace's bed with him either not with the way she felt about him.
Lucy changed quickly and grabbed her blankets and pillow deciding to sleep on the chaise in the living room only to find her way barred by Jace.
"Where are you going? The twins have taken the sofa-bed," he reminded her. Lucy stared past him into the darken corridor behind him and realised everyone else had turned in to bed.
"I was going to take the chaise," she mumbled out, "the double bed won't hold the two of us," Lucy reminded him for he was huge, and she was no longer small either.
"We'll manage," he replied huskily, "the chaise won't be comfortable. Get in bed. I'll go change."
Lucy found herself nodding and obeying. The strange tension that had been haunting her throughout the day was back humming and crackling in the air between them. She watched him grab his pyjama bottom and head into the bathroom. Then Lucy got under the duvets and shivered with impatience and trepidation while she waited.
She curled into herself and huddled under the duvet trying to warm her trembling limbs knowing full well that it was not the chill but the tension that was causing her to break out in shivers. Lucy tried to rub the goose bumps away and think of anything other than Jace unclothing behind the closed door only inches away from the bed. But her mind drew a blank at anything other than replaying on the fact that he took no top with him- only his pyjama bottom.
The room glared bright as the bathroom door opened to reveal Jace but Lucy had squeezed her eyes shut and turned to face the other way. The bathroom light snapped off and footsteps padded over to the bed. A muffled fumbling later and the bedside lamp was lit.
"You're on my side of the bed," said Jace gently, as he lifted the duvet to slide in beside her. "Here, I'll shift you," he whispered before sliding his arm beneath her and hauling her tense body over to him. Lucy bit her lips and gritted her teeth tightly, as she all but whimpered at the contact.
"Shhh, it's alright. I got you," he soothed, as he continued to whisper huskily in her ear but she couldn't comprehend. Lucy seemed to have lost all ability to think.
"Do you recall it? Your sixteenth birthday?" Jace whispered bringing up that tabooed subject just as he settled her not to the side but on top of him. His hands wrapped about her as he said, "Three years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. There has not been a moment since that I hadn't thought back to that day."
She flushed red in embarrassment recalling that day all too well. Throwing herself at him over the slightest show of his interest. She had all but dodged his footsteps the night of her sweet sixteenth and all because of one misplaced birthday kiss on his part. It hadn't meant a thing to him.
So why did he claim to still have thoughts about it now? Wrapped in his arms as she was, her body aflame by the mere contact with his, she didn't need this reminder. She also didn't think she could process any more. She was being bombarded by sensations on all fronts. It was unfair. It was not as if... as if... oh god!
His hands absentmindedly swept down her back in a caressing stroke that repeated itself, again and again. Lucy broke out in goose bumps anew from the shivers that was ruthlessly raking through her. She only hoped he hadn't notice.
"I don't think of it at all," Lucy managed to get out through gritted teeth.
"Don't you? Well... we can't have that now, can we," Jace said mildly, as he continued to run his hand caressingly down her spine racking havoc to her sense of wellbeing along the way. She was beginning to crave in ways she hadn't ever before. If he knew what was good for him. He should stop real soon.
"I don't understand," Lucy muttered despairingly, as she tried in vain to pull away. To preserve his wellbeing if not her own. In the state she was in there was no knowing what she would do. But it was as if the forces of nature were against her for despite Jace's relatively relaxed hold on her, Lucy couldn't seem to pry herself even an inch away. The only movement she seemed to manage at all was a push forward that pressed her closer against his warmth.
"Shhh," he soothed again, as her rebelling body twitched against him in a final futile resistance before it succumbed again to melt over him in a mindless heap.
"I got you,'' he whispered, as if responding to her unvoiced concern.
Not!
She knew he got her...that was the whole problem. Lucy tugged away again lamely or at least she thought she did for she hadn't moved at all. It must have been a combination of all the emotional turmoil of the day, news of her father and found brother, the mental straining against her attraction to him and the inner war against herself, for his whispered command, "Sleep" hit her like a ton of hot bricks, and Lucy was finally, thankfully, out like light.