I look at Jamie. Hes looking back. Me? Pregnant? I can't be. I am on the pill. I know Jamie and I don't use protection but I take my pill everyday.
"I can't be, I take the pill everyday" I wash out the sink and turn back to face him. He is still watching me.
"You didnt take any in Berlin when I was there...." he frowns and sits down on the dining chair.
"Ill take a pregnancy test then." I smile but deep down I'm terrified. I don't feel ready for a baby. I still want more time with Jamie. I know it sounds selfish but its true. We haven't really been together that long.
"We can pop out to the shops and then go on the horse ride if you want? Have a nice day out" Jamie smiles and holds out his hand. I take it and he pulls me to him gently.
"Sounds great" I mutter. His hands slide around my waist and rest in my back pockets of my jeans. I look down at him and he looks up.
"Stop being moody, it'll be fun" He smiles and pinches my bum through the denim.
I go to grab his hair. Shit. Baldy is still bald.
"I can't wait for you to get your hair back. I miss it. Its nice to play with and I find it fascinating when you are styling it." I sit on his knee and he sits back. My head falls onto his chest and his arm wraps around my shoulders.
"I know you're scared. I know there's probably a hundred things running about in your head. If you are pregnant, Ill be here every step of the way, That would be our child. A mixture of the pair of us. Something we made." Jamie whispers. I stay still and listen to his heart beat.
Jamies POV
I look down and shes still. She has her thinking face on. I know that if she is pregnant it is a little inconvenient but at the same time we have made a life. We have made another one of us.
"I best go and get ready if we are going out" I whisper again. She climbs off my lap and makes her way to the livingroom. I leave her to it and head upstairs.
Black jeans. Blue tshirt. White nike air. I look alright. I grab my keys from the bedside table and go back downstairs.
"Dakota, are you ready?" I shout through the hall. Theres no reply.
"Women" I mutter to myself. I walk along the hall and come to a hault when I see her in the livingroom. Shes still in here. Shes looking at baby photos, my baby photos.
"Where did you find them?" I set my keys down on the table and join her.
"They were on the cabinet. I thought it was a book. Well it is a book, a book of your childhood in photographs" she smiles up at me and runs her hand along the photos.
"Thats me and my mum. My dad took the picture. I remember I was naughty at primary school and she understood. She grabbed me and kept kissing my cheek and my Dad managed to get it on his camera." I study the photograph.
"She was beautiful Jamie. Really beautiful" She closes the book and looks up at me.
"Im okay, I havent seen them in a long time. Brings back memories" I smile a reassuring smile and grab my keys again.
"Are you ready?" I ask. She nods and grabs her denim jacket from the couch. She leads the way out of the house and waits by the car.
"Should you be driving?" She asks. She chuckles and gets in when I click the button to open.
"Yes, Im fine. Dont worry about my driving." I shake my head and pull my seatbelt round me. Dakota does the same. She leans forward and clicks the radio on.
"Kings Of Leon, nice choice." She rests her hand on my thigh and I reverse out of the garden and start our journey.
"Im into all sorts of music. Its a mixed album. Cillian got it me when we wrapped on Anthropoid" I keep my eyes on the road and move my hand on the gearstick. Dakota pulls her hand back and sings along to the radio.
We come to lights and I look across to her. Shes looking out the window. Shes in all black. My god does she look beautiful. Her hair is up in a high pony tail. Her face is always glowing.
"Eyes on the road Mr." She turns her head and catches my staring. I feel myself turn a red colour.
"Couldn't help but admire my beautiful girlfriend" I wink and she shakes her head. A cheeky grin is plastered on her face.
"You're getting old now, multitasking isn't your forte anymore" she grins and I shake my head.
"Poach to the heart that baby!" I laugh and continue to drive as the lights change. I pull into our local Morrisons and park just near the entrance.
"Do you want me to go in or both of us go in?" I turn to her and shes leaning forward looking past me.
"It wont be that busy, its a school day" I try to reassure her and she smiles.
"Lets both go in, shopping with Jamie Dornan is a first" she undoes her seatbelt and hops out of the car. I meet her at the front and she slips her hand into mine.
"No trolley?" I ask. She frowns.
"Trolley?" Shes still frowning.
"Shopping trolley" I point with my spare hand and she shakes her head.
"Shopping cart" she grins and we head inside without our shopping trolley slash cart.
I grab a basket instead and we make our way to the pregnancy tests. I bend and grab a clear blue one and drop it in.
"How do you know thats a good one?" She asks. I look at her and shrug.
"Its the only one I see advertised. "She leans down and grabs another.
"Two so we are certain. Okay?" She smiles and I nod. She links my arm and we head to the chocolate aisle.
"Easter is coming up." She grabs a mini eggs easter egg and shakes it.
"Dakota, read it on the front. It says an egg and a pack of little mini eggs." I let out a chuckle and she puts it in the basket. She grabs a diary milk one and pops that in with it.
"Whats that for?" I ask. She continues to walk and grabs a bar of Galaxy.
"Dulcie and Elva. Dulcie can have the minieggs and Elva can have the diary milk." She smiles at me and I feel my heart swell and warm up. My beautiful girl. Always thinking about others.
"Right, chocolate monster. Are you done? We cant really be long in here without someone eventually spotting us" I move closer to her and she drops the chocolate bar in.
"Can we have a look at the music and dvds?" She asks. I shrug and lead the way. We walk over to the cd stand first.
"This looks good!" She grabs the cd and turns it over to look at the back. Its an old hits cd.
"Ill buy this too." She pops that into the basket and links her fingers into thr squares and pulls the basket and me to the dvds.
"Oh look, I hear this Fifty Shades Of Grey is good" She holds up our movie and grins.
"Apparently they dont have much chemistry" I wink and she shakes her head and puts it back.
"Why are we like this?" She giggles and bends down. Shes flicking through the different dvds.
She grabs two and drops them into the basket too. I look down. Anthropoid and Fantastic Beasts.
"Particular reason you picked up my movie? I already have it at home" We walk to the check out and she giggles.
"I want one for my home" she leans up and kisses my cheek before heading to the self checkout till. I follow her and set the basket down. She scans the things and bags them. I pay for them on my card. She swats my arm and frowns.
"I was gonna buy them." She rolls her eyes as I stuff my card back into my wallet and into my back pocket. I pass her the receipt and she reads it as we leave.
Successful shopping trip. Noone hassled us. I love Ireland. It daunts on me that Im back in Budapest on Monday. Away from Dakota. Away from our little bubble. Back to reality. The good thing is. After this job I have some
time off. Time to spend with my litte girls and Dakota.
"Shall we head home, take the test and then go out or leave it until later?" She straps herself in and I mirror her actions.
"Later, Id rather deal with mad Dakota later" I grin and she slaps my thigh.
"I wont be mad!" She stares at me with her big blue eyes and I nod. I make sure she knows its a sarcastic nod. She shakes her head and looks out of her window as I drive.
The journey is quiet. I look over and see Dakota. Her head is on the window and shes asleep. I shake my head and smile as I pull into the farm.
"Hey! Long time no see ay." Jerry comes over to the car as I hop out.
"Works been busy! How are you?" I lean on the bonnet as he stops and stands infront of me.
"Im good, been hectic over here. Our mare had a foal. Pigs had piglets. And charlie our girl had pups. You will see them roaming around" He laughs and smacks my arm.
"In shape arent you?" He looks from my arm to his and we both laugh.
"We both are. Is it alright for me and Dakota to take out two horses? Ill keep on the trail" He looks at me and then into the car.
"Shes my girlfriend" I finish. He frowns and a look of confusion rushes over his face.
"Am i missing something? I thought you were married to Millie." He looks back at me and I shuffle my feet. Jerry has never been one to involve himself in other peoples news or gossip. Something I admire about him.
"No, we divorced a while back. Still on good terms though. We know we need to be because of the girls" I look up from the floor and Jerry is smiling. Thank god.
"Take out the two on the left in the stables. Your usual horse and theres a beautiful white mare for your girl. Explore. You can find a new trail" He pats my back and makes his way back into his house.
I walk around the car and open Dakotas door.
"Oi sleepy. Wake up" I poke her cheeks a few times and her eyes finally open.
"Sorry, I was a little tired." She yawns and gets out.
"Wow, its beautiful!" She looks around and smiles.
"I know, I just spoke to Jerry. Lets go and get our horses. I lead the way to the stables and go to the far left. Theres my usual stallion Chamanche and I spot Dakotas horse.
"Which one am I riding?" She looks around and I point to the white horse.
Dakota walks over and I can see her smile.
"Belle, what a beautiful name for a beautiful horse." She strokes her nose and moves into the stables to tack her up. I know she knows what shes doing.
I do the same to Chamanche and pull him out of the stables.
"Ready baby?" I hold both helmets in my hand. She comes out with Belle and I pass her a helmet.
"Do we need those?" She looks at it and looks at me.
"I guess not." I set mine down on the litte bench and she does the same. I climb up onto the saddle and watch Dakota do the same with Belle.
"Lets go." She moves Belle slowly and we are both side by side. Our horses trot together and we head down the grass trial. Leading off into a different entrance.
"This is perfect Jamie. Really perfect." She looks at me and smiles. The sun is beaming down on us. Its just us two and our horses.
"Cool date right?" I chuckle and she giggles.
"I love you Jamie, I really do love you" we keep eye contact and I smile.
"I love you too. I love you so much Dakota." I look away and feel myself blush a little. She still makes me blush and feel all embarrassed.
"If we do have a child... what will happen? About our living area and travelling" She looks down too and I think about it. Thats a good question. All of her family are in America and all of mine are here in the UK.
"We will think of that when we get to that point" I steady myself on the saddle and Chamanche catches up with Belle. I didnt notice her trot off.
"Id get a one way ticket to London" Dakota looks at me and smiles.
One way ticket. She would change her whole life to come and live here in London with me. Well Gloucestershire. This girl is everything I could ever want.
"Why?" I look back and frown
"You have two children who live here, their mother lives here. Itd be cruel to make you leave with them and Millie not be able to see them" She looks forward and she moves her hair out of her face.
A one way ticket. Its still a shock to me that she would do that for me.