Yay! Another update
*Perrie's Pov *
It took considerable effort to pry myself out of Jade's arms and bed to go to my flat for a few hours. After the whirlwind of the last thirty hours, I needed to clear my head. Tomorrow I had to be at work and there were presentations to prepare. Besides that I hadn't spoken to Jesy since she called me on Friday night. I owed her an explanation before she called Scotland Yard to report me missing. Pausing at the door, I took a deep breath before I unlocked it.
"I'm sorry!" I flew into the room. Dropping my pocket book on the counter, I hugged a startled Jesy. "My phone died."
"I assumed as much when it went to voice mail for the last twenty-four hours." If my best friend was upset, she didn't show it. I could almost spot the twitch of a smile on her lips, but she raised her teacup to cover it. She was dressed in a rose-coloured dressing gown that made her look every bit the vintage ingénue and Jane was with here.
"She was worried," Jane said, earning a reproachful look from her Jesy. But Jane was far past caring what anyone, family included, thought of what she said. "I told her to stick a cork in it."
My eyes flashed from hers to Jesy's, trying to keep a straight face but I failed miserably. To my surprise, they both joined in with my laughter. The atmosphere of the flat felt lighter than it had in weeks, and it seemed to be affecting all of us.
"You're in an excellent mood," Jesy noted.
"She got shagged." Jane wasn't the type to tiptoe around the tulips. If the fastest path was to walk straight through, she'd mow them down. When it came to my love life, she didn't make exceptions to this rule. Still, I had to appreciate her frankness when it came to my recent romantic entanglements, even if she had a tendency to make me blush. After all, it had been her interference that had opened the door to allowing Jade back into my life.
"It's the weekend. Who isn't shagging?" Jesy asked.
Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "I thought you were handling this well."
"Don't rub it in, girls," Jane said in a mournful tone. "You see more action than both of us," Jesy scoffed.
"My man moved to Spain," Jane informed us. "I suppose I'm, what do you young people say, back in the game?"
This time I didn't even try to smother my laughter. What would it be like to be a free spirit like Jane saying what I liked, Of course, she wasn't married. I wasn't sure if she ever had been. From everything she'd said to me, there had been a long string of lovers in her life. But she'd hinted at one doomed relationship when she advised me to take a chance with Jade. "Were you ever married, Jane?
Her eyes widened a bit and I remembered that despite how forthright Jane could be, she was still English.
"Sorry," I murmured. "I was only curious."
"It's fine." She waved off my apology, the sleeve of her turquoise kaftan swirling in the air. "No, I've never been married."
"I didn't mean to pry." I felt terrible for letting curiosity get the better of me.
"Will I be seeing a lot more of you in the tabloids?" Jesy asked, breaking the palpable tension in the air. No. Not tension. Sadness.
I forced a tight-lipped smile, appreciative for the change in topic. Although I hadn't quite decided how to broach the subject of Jade yet. "I suppose so."
This was going to be the hard part, telling Jesy that Jade's red carpet fib was no longer a figment of her imagination. We'd barely even lived together for the summer and I was abandoning her. It hardly seemed important that in a year she would be married herself and moving into to her future husbands house, but partially because neither of us had anticipated how Jade would change my life.
"I agreed to move in with her." It was better to just be over and done with it than to drag it out longer than necessary.
"You what?" Jesy's scream was an odd mixture of laughter and horror.
"I'm going to live with Jade." It felt odd to say it out loud. Even stranger than it had to call it our place with her. I felt at home with Jade as though I was where I belonged after a lifelong wait. But facing the reality of my decision outside her presence forced me to consider what I was choosing.
"I got that part," Jesy snapped. Abandoning her tea on the counter, she rummaged through the cabinets until she found a bottle of scotch.
"It's not even noon," I said as she poured a shot in a rocks glass and handed it to me.
"It's Sunday and we're English."
That was apparently the final word on the matter. Jane took her glass without protest and swallowed it swiftly. She stood and gave me another hug.
"I suppose I need to go check my partner.com profile. Maybe my next lover is waiting." Then she leaned in and whispered so only I could hear, "No regrets, Perrie."
As soon as she was out the door, Jesy turned on me. "You can't possibly have thought this through."
"I've been doing nothing but thinking for months," I argued.
"You've done nothing but work and avoid reality. Now you're running back to the women who broke your heart!" No one would have guessed from looking at Jesy that she could raise such a ruckus. I, on the other hand, knew better. If I didn't calm her down now, we both might say things we regretted.
"I thought about her. I spent every night wishing she could be a different person," I said quietly, hoping the shift in volume would change the dynamic between us.
"But I realised I don't want her to be different. I want her even with all the drama that comes with her. And she's trying to give me what I need in return."
"And what are you giving Jade?" she asked, lowering her voice to match mine.
"Everything," I admitted. I didn't need to go into details about our sex life, because she wouldn't understand. How could anyone but Jade and I?
"I don't want to see her hurt you."
"I can't promise that I won't get hurt, but beautiful things can come from pain." My own hard-won liberation from my ex-boyfriend was proof of that. "I have to take the risk, because if I don't, I'll always regret it."
Jesy's eyes grew as distant as the sky on a cloudy day. When she finally spoke, her words were hollow. "You're right, of course. Regret isn't something anyone should live with."
Her words twisted into me like a knife. We all lived with regrets. The only thing we could do was follow our hearts and trust the people we loved. Both of us knew from experience that meant risking heartache. I couldn't be certain if we were talking about Jesy's past or my own. Although it occurred to me that we might not be talking about either.
"Do you hate me?" I didn't care what many people thought of me, but I did care about my relationship with Jesy. She'd been my constant for the last four years. We'd seen each other through countless rough patches, and the thought of choosing between the two people I loved most in the world was unfathomable. I needed Jade in my life, but I needed her, too.
Jesy reached out and clasped my hand. "You're my sister. At least as close as I've got. I might not always like the choices you make, but I will always love you."
Tears pooled in my eyes and I did nothing to hold them back. They fell freely down my cheeks as I hugged my best friend. Within seconds, we'd both turned into a soggy mass of feelings in the middle of the kitchen.
"Just because I won't be here doesn't mean I'm disappearing."
"I know," Jesy whispered, but the sadness in her voice spoke another truth.
People changed when they fell in love. We both knew that. I just had to show her that I wouldn't let love change everything.
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My mother's voice shrieked across the phone line. "You're living with Jade and I had to hear about it on the television!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. I couldn't exactly explain to her what had actually happened, especially now that I was actively moving in with her. Across my bedroom, Jesy raised an eyebrow. There was no need to tell her who was on the phone.
"It just happened," I assured her, wondering how far I could stretch the truth before it became an outright lie. "I barely even realised it was happening."
Jesy covered her mouth to smother a laugh. I couldn't blame her. It was the understatement of the century.
"When your father gets the news..." she trailed away in an attempt to add gravitas to the threat.
I seriously doubted my father would care that I'd moved in with my girlfriend. He didn't subscribe to my mother's need to keep up appearances.
"Where is Dad?" I asked, trying to change the topic.
"He's gone on business until Tuesday." But she wasn't so easily swayed. "Do you have a date set?"
"A date for what?" I asked, then realisation dawned on me. "A housewarming party? Yes, it's next week."
Now that was a lie, and a not terribly well-thought out one. She'd expect an invitation. Of course, just mentioning it was invitation enough to my mother, which meant that I now actually had to throw a party. All my fantasies of enjoying privacy with Jade shattered around me.
"Send over the details. We'll be there," she spoke in the clipped tone I recognised from childhood. It usually preceded her telling me I was being obstinate. "But I'm talking about the other date."
"I really don't—"
"Don't be daft, Perrie," she cut me off. "For the wedding!"
"The...wedding?" I blinked several times trying to process the question. Finally I sat down. Jesy had stopped helping me sort through my wardrobe entirely and was now shamelessly eavesdropping. "Whose wedding?"
But I knew exactly whose wedding she meant. Trust my mother to pull out the ultimate guilt trip. If Jade was going to go around making bold announcements like the one that had gotten me into this mess, maybe she should be the one to handle my mother. In fact, she might be the only one who could.
"You can't live with a someone like Jade with out a firm commitment, The press will eat you alive." Her tone sank to a conspiratorial whisper. "And you can't sleep with her before the wedding! I think there's laws against it."
There probably had been at some point back in the Dark Ages, but I didn't tell her that. "I assure you that there's little to no sleeping going on."
"Perrie!"
"I'll call you with the party details later this week." I hung up the phone before she could get in another word. I'd expected her to be shocked but I hadn't expected her to jump to this conclusion. Turning slowly to face Jesy, I blew out a long-held breath. "I think my mother wants to go hat shopping for a wedding."
"Can you blame her?" Jesy asked. "The hats at your wedding will be spectacular."
"We're not getting married." Heat flushed my cheeks. I'd barely had time to process being in a relationship with Jade at all. Talk like this would only complicate things further. Not to mention that there was no way I was ready for marriage. Not because I wasn't certain of my feelings for Jade, but because I still wasn't sure I wouldn't crack under the continued pressure of being in the public eye.
Jesy bit her lip and gave me her best so-you-say-now stare.
"We aren't getting married!" I said more loudly.
"No," said a voice behind me, "we aren't."
I pivoted to find Jade standing in my doorway. Burying my head in my hands, I moaned,
"Where's a giant sinkhole when you need one?"
She immediately switched to business mode, as if bracing herself. Picking up the already packed bag on my bed like she hadn't heard a thing, she swung it over her shoulder. "We are picking up your toothbrush though."
"Yes," I said weakly, "and we're having a housewarming party next weekend."
She accepted this with a great deal more aplomb than I expected. Probably owing to the fact that a housewarming party seemed inconsequential in comparison to the sacrament of marriage. I couldn't blame her for that.
"Of course. Will you be much longer?" Her voice was distant and my stomach flipped over.
"My mother called and would like to speak with me. No doubt, she also wishes to discuss the change in my circumstances."
"You could...invite her to the party." If I hadn't already been dreading throwing together a party, the thought of Jade's mother being there made it worse.
But my dedication to etiquette earned me a smile.
"I'm afraid she's not wild about parties."
I refrained from openly celebrating this fact. "I have a few more things to track down. Half an hour?"
"I'll have Lauren return and take you home." Then, as though to reassure me, she hooked her free arm around my waist and drew me against her lean body. My breath caught and for a second I almost believed if I held it, I could make this moment last forever. His piercing eyes fixed on me. The comfortable weight of her arm around my waist. Slanting her lips over mine, she kissed me possessively. It was a sign of good things to come.
"I'll see you at home," Jade informed me before heading out.
Home. A few hours ago I'd thought of it as my haven. Now I was inviting controversy and judgment on myself by opening it to others for a silly housewarming party. Try as I might, I couldn't escape the fact that wedding or no, the honeymoon was over.
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Hey guys! Yes I updated again I felt like writing again today but I had a bit of trouble so sorry if this update is boring. But I do hope you enjoyed it! By the way thank you for all the support from every single one of you guys I love you's all!
See you next update