Black.
I've always hated that colour. It reminds me of death and here I am wearing black clothes to attend her funeral.
I still can't believe she is gone. Though everything is in front of my eyes screaming 'she is dead' but I can't bring myself to believe it, atleast not my heart.
The wrecked car, the burnt body, the necklace around her neck that belonged to her mother and then the ring on her index finger that she always wore. Since her body suffered 97% of burn they suggested we do not bury her like that.
So we decided to bury her ashes in a casket beside her mom, where she wanted to be.
I looked myself in the mirror. There stood a man dressed in black satin shirt with sleeves rolled till his elbows and black trousers with black shoes. His eyes red and emotionless with a stubble growing. I couldn't recognise this man. This isn't me or wasn't.
I glanced at the series of ties that lay abandoned on the corner of my closet. I told Marie to throw them but she wouldn't listen to me.
"Son, it's time" dad said coming inside my closet. He was in a mess as me. Puffy eyes, messy hair and unshaved beard dressed in black. Everyone that knew Alison shedded tears when we heard the news.
I sighed a heavy breath and nodded at my dad walking out of the closet without waiting for him and sat inside the car waiting for us outside my house. Soon dad sat beside me followed my Marie and we were off to the Browns.
Ashley was staying there to support her dad and mom.
Her dad.
He was the most broken man among us. Afterall he lost everything he held dear to him. Though she was the girl I love but she was his daughter and no husband or lover can understand a pain of a father who lost his wife and his daughter.
The car haulted to a stop and everyone got down of the car. I put on my dark shades to prevent anyone from seeing my puffy eyes.
Suddenly the air around us started to feel gloomy and thick. It was like the nature too grieved at the loss of a beautiful soul. Every breath I took in felt heavy.
I followed dad and Marie directly to the back lawn of the Brown's.
Alison wanted a small funeral where only her loved ones should be present, one's that actually wanted to say their goodbyes.
The yard where there was a 6ft deep hole dug was surrounded by people sniffing and crying and some just looking in the space.
Ashley's mom stood at one corner with a crying Ashley in her arms while Mr.Brown stood near his wife's grave looking at her tombstone with his hands in his pockets. A little further Emily stood beside Drake whose arm was wrapped around her waist as she silently sobbed on his chest. Aiden stood behind of them all with his back turned towards Alison's casket that lay in the middle of all. Jake was standing in the shadow beneath a tree, probably crying and Marie cried in my dad's arm.
Me? I just stood there standing in one corner looking at the tombstone.
Here lies,
Alison Every Brown
Daughter - Friend - Sister
15th April 1991 - 24th March 2018
"Always believe in love"
That's always what she did. Believed in love even if that love broke her heart. I will never forgive myself for breaking her heart and not even telling her how I feel for her. I will live my life with a space left in my heart that belongs to her and only her.
After the priest arrived and did all the necessary things her casket was pushed down the hole and everyone dropped their white roses with a handful of mud and everyone said their eulogies.
When it was my turn I walked in front of her grave and said everything that I was meant to say to her when she was alive.
"Hey. I know you said to me to be happy but how can I be when you aren't there anymore in it?" I sighed a heavy breathe. Marie took everyone in because she knew this eulogy was only meant for Alison's ears.
"You gave me a chance to hurt you but why didn't you give me chance to mend it? You gave me time to love Ashley but why didn't you give me time to love you?" I looked at her tombstone for some answers but I got none.
"Though I didn't get time to show you my love but I will love you till my heart beats. Drake said it right. Ashley was my first love but you were my true love and true love never dies. It always occupy a major portion of our heart and you have that Alison and no one can replace it, ever."
I touched her name engraved on the stone "I love you Alison Every Cullen" I whispered with a single tear rolling down my eyes.
"She knew that" a voice from behind me said.
"She knew?" I asked as I looked into the brown eyes of her father.
"Yes, she knew you better then anyone. She saw the emotion in your eyes she always wanted to see but it was too late. You know her she wouldn't do that to her sister" he said. I nodded in understanding.
"Aren't you just full of surprises?" I asked looking at her grave. I sat there for few hours till the sun sat and the night was splashed across the sky.
I stood up on my feet and started walking with no destination ahead.
2 weeks later
"Lucy what's this?" I snapped at her.
"This papers were suppose to be signed by yesterday, why am I receiving it now?" I asked with clenched teeth.
"S-sir, you were busy in your meetings the whole day" she replied afraid that I might slap her, which I won't... ever.
"Then you were suppose to say to me once, you are my secretary it's your job. That's what I pay you for" I gritted.
"I'm sorry sir" she mumbled in a low voice looking at the ground. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.
"You may leave" I said. She scurried out like there was a lion who was about to pounce on her and chew her off.
From the past week I've returned to my cold self. Snapping at anyone and everyone, drowning myself in work. I haven't showed my face at home and nor did I answered anyone's call. Maybe this is my way of grieving.
"You look like shit" Aiden said and entered my office without knocking.
"What do you want Aiden?" I asked closing my eyes in frustration.
"Nothing" he shrugged and plopped himself on the chair across me.
"Then?" I asked with a bored look on my face.
"Look Ian you need to move on. I want that old Ian not that old Ian before Alison came into your life. She changed you man and now she wouldn't like the way you are changing back" he said.
"I don't understand a single word"
"Bullsh*t. You clearly did" he rolled his eyes at my reply.
"Can I ask you something?" He asked leaning in with his hands rested on the table.
"If I say no, will you stop?" I asked looking at him, annoyed.
He faked a thinking expression and then smiled "Nope" popping the 'p'. I rolled my eyes at him.
"What do you miss about her?" His voice taking a soft tone.
"Her" I replied without hesitation.
"What you love about her?"
"Her"
"What did she do to make you fall for her?"
"Nothing" I said after I relayed everything in my mind. She honestly didn't do anything to make me fall in love with her. Only I had to look into her brown eyes and bam... I'm whipped. Her looking at me with adoration, her smiling at me, her looking out for me, her caring for me, her cooking for me, her waving me goodbye whenever I left the house, her..... everything made me fall for her.
Aiden looked at my face and smiled like he did something he wanted to.
"She liked the way you were Ian and be that man" he said and stood up from the chair.
"She's gone but she is still here" he said and patted his chest, walking away from my office.
I looked at the watch on my wrist. My eyes following the moment of the seconds of the watch she gifted. I clearly remember what she said to me that day.
"She's not gone" I whispered
"When the watch stops so will my heart"
******
Hey there people.... I know it's extremely short chapter but I didn't know how to write it more.... so this is all I got....
If I were to end it here I would have written a long chapter but many people wants a sequel and I decided to give you guys that.
For those who think Alison is better of dead then for them the alternative ending will be upto their imagination. Do tell me though, I would love to hear them.
And for those who will stick with me in the sequel.... keep this book in your library and I will update the info for sequel soon. Thank you guys for all the love and support you gave me and that means a lost, honestly.
This chapter is dedicated to 13april9 cause when I was about to give up saying no one will like my story she was the first one to vote and comment on my story telling me she like my ideas and she would love to read further and then I decided no, I'll complete my book and I thank her for that.
Thanks for choosing to read this book.
Lots and lots of love and kisses.
xoxo.