A case blows up in Person A's face, everything goes wrong. Person A leaves and goes to drink. When Person B finds them, they see a sight they wish to unsee
•••
You're keeping control of the knife
But I'm not your darling
It's keeping me cold in the nights
But honey you're starving
Girls Aloud - Control of the Knife
•••
Her mother's case blew up in her face. They thought they had it all. They were following a lead, it was the biggest lead they had ever found, and Kate was finally ready to close this case and get justice, her heart pounding, anticipation at its peak. Everyone was over the moon, especially Castle that this case, that had out Beckett through so much, was finally ending. Castle wants nothing more than for that smile, her wonderful smile, to always be on her face. They were rounding the final corner of all this trouble and heartbreak, but then it all went away. Everything, it was as if they were back at square one. And Kate took it hard. Castle swore he could see the light and the life in her eyes drain out. He could feel her heart breaking. The minute she found out the news, she took no more than three seconds to process, and stormed out of the precinct and no one has been able to find her since.
Everyone is worried about her. They put the case on hold and solely focused on making sure their best detective was safe. They checked her place her called her dad, and asked everyone remotely acquainted with New York's finest, and they mean everywhere and everyone. But she's no where to be seen. So Castle thought for a moment.
Where would Kate go when she was upset?
Maybe a bar? Maybe somewhere quiet? Most likely a bar, but which one? What if she didn't even go to one?
He pulled out his phone and texted her.
Hey, where are you, we're all worried about you.
She didn't respond, and ten minutes later he texted her again,
You know I love you, right? Just let me know your safe.
Yet no response. Should he check the bars? Did that seem logical? He didn't know anymore, he just wanted to find her and hold her in his arms again.
He told the boys and Lanie, and the Captain, that he would go out and check the local bars and pubs. They nodded and told him to text them if he found d her and they would do the same if she showed up at the precinct or morgue.
And with that he went out to explore the cold, gloomy streets of New York.
After checking six other places he decided he would give up after this last one. He crossed his fingers and stepped through the doors.
There she was. Her beauty and all. By the time he found the bar it was 10:21. He slowly walked up and sat down next to her. She turned her head and looked at him with sad eyes.
He thought despite her current emotional state, with her messy hair she looked kinda cute. But this wasn't the time to be cute he was very worried about her.
"Beckett-we were all worried, we-we-" Castle stammered.
"Oh calm down Castle, I've been here the whole time." She said looking down at her hands. Wow, she wasn't as drunk as he thought. So what was she doing here this whole time if she wasn't drinking?
"Well-"
"Just go, Castle." She turned away from him, and went to stand but her legs wouldn't allow it, and she stumbled to the ground.
Castle rushed to her side and helped her stand back up. Maybe she drunker than he thought.
"Kate we need to get you home." Castle said wanting to pull her towards the door.
"N-no!" She pulled away from him and sat back down on her stool ordering another drink. Castle reluctantly sat back down and stared at her.
"Kate, why are you doing this?" He asked
"Woah, Rickie, since when did you start calling me Kate?" She raised her eyebrows and smiled when her drink found a placed in front of her.
"Since when did you start calling me Rickie?"
"Since about five seconds ago." She giggled taking a gulp of her drink. Castle sighed and watched as she began to drink her life away.
"You shouldn't be doing this."
"And you shouldn't be telling me what to do." She snapped, looking over at him with a glare in her eyes.
"This isn't you. You don't drink away your problems, you fight them head on-"
"What makes you so confident you know me?" She spun her stool around and began talking to the people next to her.
"We've know each other for 5 years, we've been together for half a year, I think I know you by now."
"Ooo, we are proud." Kate sassed turning back to face him.
"Please, just let's go back to the loft."
"Why? So you can go to bed thinking you've won this fight? Nu-uh."
"You're reading too much into this."
"You're not reading into it enough." She said as she finished her drink.
"Excuse me, Miss," the bartender interrupted, "this drink is from the man over there, he came over and stood by me while I made it, asking for me to tell you he thinks your a vision of-um-perfection."
"Yes, I'll have it."
"No, don't give it to her." Castle said as the bartender picked up the drink.
"Castle, stop! Stop trying to fix me, give me the fucking drink." She said indicating to the bartender.
"No."
"Yes!"
"Kate-"
"Just go, Castle! Just leave me alone, this isn't your life!" She yelled.
"This isn't yours either! You never act this way! I've never seen you this hurt, I just want to help you."
"The last person I need help from is you." She grabbed the half-made drink from bartender and stumbled away to the small 'dance floor' in the bar. Castle sighed and ordered himself a scotch. He watched as the love of his life began ruining hers. He couldn't take it.
He pulled out his phone and sent a text to all his friends at the precinct,
She's alright, I've found her.
After sending he message, Castle stood up out of his seat and walked over to her taking the drink from her hands, setting it on a nearby table. He grabbed her hands and made her look at him.
"I'm not just going to just sit here and watch as you throw your life away."
"Then leave. No one wants you here, God knows I don't." She tried to push him away but he held her tighter.
"Ow! You're hurting me!" She yelled. Castle knew he wasn't holding her that tight, but he also knew she would do anything, to get away from him right now. A man approach and pulled Kate back.
"Is there a problem here?" He asked.
"No, there's not. Kate you need to get home." Castle tried.
"She doesn't have to go anywhere she doesn't want to." The man said and Kate smiled up at him.
"I think I like you." She giggled, as she bit her lip. Castle felt himself shatter on the inside although her knew she was just drunk. But he wasn't going lie and say it didn't crush him. The man and Kate went away from Castle and began to dance with each other.
Castle couldn't stand to watch so he walked back over to the bar and sipped at his drink. He placed his head in his hands and contemplated what he could do. What he should do.
Sure his and Kate's relationship was new, but didn't she feel how he felt? Like they had waited to long, and confessing their feelings was the best possible feeling?
He didn't know at this point. He didn't know what to think, what to feel.
He had waited about 30 minutes before he thought to get up and go check on Kate. He pushed his way through the crowd and eventually found her. But he didn't like what he saw.
He saw Kate and this man together. Kate wasn't straddling him, but she was sitting on his lap and they were both cupping each other's cheek. The man leaned in first and Kate didn't resist. If anything she leaned in quicker. He saw their lips moving against one another's and felt a sick feeling in his stomach.
Had their whole relationship been a scam? Did she just use him? He was so conflicted. Half of him wanted to go and pull her away and take her home, but the other half thought, hell, leave her. Let her destroy her life. He knew it was wrong, and he knew he shouldn't, but he left. He walked back out and paid for both his drink and all of Kate's. he made sure to thank the bartender for the service and then headed out. The air was cold and the weather was sad, like his insides.
He hopped inside his car as the rain began to fall. He drove back to his loft. He sent one more text to her,
I hope you're safe, I hope you're happy.
He then turned off his phone and hopped into a shower before heading into a restless sleep of confusion and hurt, while Kate was heading of to this man's house to fulfill a night of drunken regret, and unfaithfulness if that's what you'll call it.
///
As the morning rolled around she found herself struggling to open her eyes. The light was bright, perhaps to bright. She rolled over in the rough feeling bed and hit a chest. Is wasn't as warm if muscularly tones as Castle's but- woah, woah, woah, if this wasn't Castle's chest, then whose was it? And why did her head hurt so much?
///
Castle rolled over the bed and stirred awake by the pounding of closed knuckles on his door. He groaned and sat up, stretching his arms out with a yawn. He stood up reluctantly and opened the door, which him seconds to get to. And there she was.
Kate.
She looked awful. Her hair was knotted and her makeup was smeared and her eyes were red and wet. She was holding her heels in her hands. But yet something seemed off. She was a bit beaten up. The sense of slight scratches, and tiny bruise marks.
It didn't matter, she had some explaining to do.
"Hey," she cried, "Castle can I come in? I-"
"Listen-" Castle tried.
"Rick please. I made a huge mistake last night, I don't even really remember what happened. I-I just know that I shouldn't have done the things I did, or said the things I said to you. I hurt you, and I will never be able to accept what I did, and I don't expect you to forgive me. I was weak when you found me, and that's not an excuse for what I did, but just know, please, please know, that-that I love you, Castle."
"What happened to your neck?" Castle asked straight to the point, more concerned of her well being than her apology.
"Um-I don't know-eh-I don't remember." She coughed a little, still drowsy and wobbly on her feet.
"Why are you shaking?" He asked opening the door wider, allowing her to walk in.
"I'm cold." She shrugged.
"It's summer in New York, its 80 degrees." He countered.
"Castle I'm sorry for hurting you, if you want me to go, just tell me to leave." She said with silent tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Don't leave, you're obviously not well, and you say you can't remember anything?"
"Nothing." She looked down at the ground, and he grabbed her hand and helped her walk over to the couch, where he sat next to her.
"Do you hurt anywhere?"
"Everywhere." She laughed out of pain and regret. She hated herself for what she did to this amazing man, and yet he was still helping her and making sure she was ok. He was being the caring man he is, the perfect man, and was giving her all the attention, despite what she had done to them. To their relationship.
"How many drinks did you have?"
"More than I should have."
"Do you think it's alcohol poisoning?"
"No, I had that before and it didn't feel as bad as this."
"When on earth did you ever have alcohol poisoning?"
"College."
"Do you think-it was the man."
"What man?"
"The man that sent you over a drink, he must have put something in it, something-to make you bend to his every whim."
"Castle stop defending me." She groaned.
"I'm not."
"You are, you're trying to make what I did, seem-well-not as bad."
"But you obviously had a push if he roofied you."
"I suppose."
"And those marks on your neck and face, do you have them anywhere else?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"Dont you think he may have forced himself on you." He blurted, cutting straight to the chase, although he knew she would shut him down, she would be too stubborn to give it to that state of vulnerability.
"I-what are you talking about?"
"How can you not see it?"
"I-I would have remembered."
"Kate-"
"I don't want to remember."
"Kate-"
"I-I hurt you Castle, more than myself, I hurt you."
"Everyone has regrets." He smiled.
"But I-I cheated on you."
"Given the circumstances I'll help you through it, I'll help you through everything."
"Why are you so nice to me?" She met his gaze.
"Because I love you."
"But I don't deserve you."
"You deserve the world, Kate, and I'm going to try my best and give it to you."
He embraced her in a hug and she squeezed her hold on him making sure he knew how much she cared about him and how sorry she was. And she felt in her heart that he knew.
HOPE YOU ENJOY
:)