I hate myself.
Why did I have to wait and second guess myself? I was off thinking that she didn't want to see me, that she needed the time to think for herself. But if I had...
I was supposed to be her best friend, someone she should be able to tell anything to.
But I didn't think it was this bad.
Why didn't I know?
I hate myself.
Gayoung didn't deserve to die. She didn't deserve to have all those feelings before she did. Why did someone as beautiful as her have to perish in this ugly world?
I hate myself.
I HATE my very existence.
I don't deserve to live. If I had the choice to save her life with my own, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Why spare my rotten life when she's not in it?
I get it. I need help. I need help because if I wait any longer, then I'll just follow after her. And I will try every time her death anniversary comes.
I'm already an empty shell of a guy.
So that's why I finally caved in to see you.