Klexos || Mark Lee

5. prosopagnosia

That was what it was called.

Developmental prosopagnosia. A face blindness. I didn't know anything about the disorder at the time.

Gayoung was trying so hard to hide it from me, but when I became suspicious, I purposely would be quiet and walk up to her to see if she would recognize me. At the first few attempts, it showed that she wasn't sure who I was, since I wasn't greeting her or anything. But then later on, even when I don't say anything, she would pick me out.

It was the hair that time, that's how she was recognizing me. And I don't know, I guess I thought that she was just playing me the entire time. And eventually I forgot about it.

Then came the day I gotten a haircut because my hair was getting too long. So when I saw her the next day, she didn't recognize me again. She would have this very distressed look on her face as she stared at me.

At that point, I had to ask her about it.

First attempt of asking, she shut me out completely and avoided me the rest of the day.

Second attempt, same thing.

Third attempt, I decided to ask her mom about it, since she was in the classroom in the next hallway. She was the one to tell me about it since I was Gayoung's friend and she trusted me. She explained to me what the disorder was that Gayoung couldn't recognize faces. Even for a split moment she turns away and looks back, it would be like seeing my face for the first time. Faces just doesn't stick to her memory.

I was... Gayoung's first friend, the only one she had the courage to approach because she was able to pick out my voice instantly. That's how she recognized me all those times.

It was a bit disheartening to hear that she may never know what my face is like whenever we're apart... and really, it kind of freaked me out at first. Like, how the hell has she been functioning this whole time.

But never have I thought about abandoning her. Gayoung became a part of my life and I knew at that time that I didn't want something like a disorder to scare me away. She was trying so hard to deal with it everyday. And I think because meeting me, she was able to cope with the disorder better. She was able to open up more.

So I told her I knew of her disorder and I understand now.

The relieved smile that crossed her face that day is still engraved in my brain... and she hugged me.

That was our first hug.

I knew from that moment on, I wanted to make things more comfortable for her. I was willing to do anything for her.