Hey readers,
Quick note just to thank you all for your support, here’s the next chapter so read and enjoy.
Lots of love
XXX
Chapter 19
Holly’s Pov
My head felt as if it was pounding, the sharp sensation causing all the air in my lungs to leave me in a huff as I felt myself suddenly become winded. I couldn’t help but whimper at the painful but unfortunately for from new sensation, I had felt this before after all and the thought that something similar had happened in this place before everything went black had my form stiffening in fear. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him, but I couldn’t help it. He was so sweet, not to mention my wolf was begging me to give him a chance.
Trying to fight the sob which wanted to bubble up from my throat I tried to think back to what had caused me to be knocked out, but found my brows pulling together in a frown when I realised that I couldn’t remember. What the hell?
Knowing that I needed to get out of here as quickly as possible I tried to ignore the pulsing in my head and come up with a plan, but my wolf was whimpering so loudly at the thought of me going anywhere that I found my physical pain only increasing. It was as if the mere thought of running was too much for her, that she would be nothing again if I didn’t stay.
Taking a deep breath I tried to settle my nerves, my eye lids not cooperating with me at the moment since they felt as if they had been glued shut since they were so heavy. If it wasn’t for the fact my sensitive hearing was working perfectly I would have feared that there was something up with my senses.
Deciding to listen to my wolf, not having any other choice I forced myself to relax. I knew from experience that the more I relaxed the quicker it would pass. If I strained myself then it would only hurt me more in the long run, I may not have been a doctor of any kind but I’ve had to deal with and fix my own injuries since I was a child and you can’t help but pick up a few techniques. Unlike most now I could fix a broken leg or see to a dislocated limb with ease; it just sucked that it wasn’t due to be being taught by others, but due to having no choice but to learn from trial and error if I wanted my injuries seen to and fixed to prevent any future problems.
With that decided I let my body relax, my head feeling like it had been plugged with cotton wool as I couldn’t help the slight groan which fell from my lips as I squeezed my eyes together in an attempt to deal with the pain. Strangely though, it wasn’t as bad as it had been in the past; not by far.
I didn’t know how many minutes had gone past until I felt a gentle sensation brush against my forehead. The action surprised me enough to flinch, but I soon recognised the husky sound of the owner as my wolf whimpered in delight as a soothing sensation was spread through my head at the touch alone, instantly making me crave more as I leaned into the caress since it was an escape from the pain.
“It’s just me sweetheart, I’m so sorry” he breathed as he continued his soothing caresses on my forehead. He made me feel safe, protected and dare I admit it…happy.
Letting my eye lids flutter, them finally not feeling as if they weighed a ton I let them flicker open after a few moments of hesitation. I didn’t know what I expected to see; but the fear and panic in his deep brown eyes wasn’t what I expected. I didn’t like it; neither did my wolf.
His words caused me to frown, his fingers still running gently across my forehead in a gentle caress that had me craving more. I didn’t know why, but as I slowly sat up I couldn’t help but feel loved when I felt his hesitant touch on my back as he kept me up right. It was that simple soft gesture that had it all rushing back to me in one go. How we had made a cake, me giggling, his charming smile, how scared I was and…
“You’re my mate” I whispered so softly that I worried for a second that not even he would be able to hear it. But from the widening of his eyes, the fear and nervousness present in them it was clear he had heard me perfectly fine.
I didn’t know what I wanted him to say, his pleading gaze clearly told me that I was a hundred percent right with my assumption and it left me breathless. My throat was dry as I tried to ask myself whether this was what I wanted, whether it was worth me letting myself become so vulnerable again like before. But after simply asking myself ‘what did I have to lose’ I knew that I had answered my own question, because the honest answer was absolutely nothing. I had nothing to my name, I hadn’t smiled so much in years and his presence brought both me and my wolf so much comfort that I had instantly started to crave it.
“Yes” he confirmed what I already knew, my hands shaking in my lap as I continued to gaze at him with blank eyes. I knew now why he was doing this, why he hadn’t let me die that night he found me with those two others wolves, why he was being so nice to me. I was his mate; but why on earth would he want anything to do with me?
“I’m sorry” I sobbed out quietly, biting my lip as I felt my eyes turn glossy with my tears when I realised that I had condemned him to this. He deserved so much better than me, I was nothing and he deserved a nice girl who wasn’t so broken. I wasn’t even sure if there was anything left of me to love, or if there had ever been.
I could tell that my apology was the last thing in the world that he expected to hear, why I didn’t know, but I had a feeling I was about to find out. But I couldn’t get past the raw guilt and shame I felt for putting myself in this poor boys path. He was an alpha, not just any alpha but one of the most vicious and powerful alphas in the area. I didn’t deserve to be an alphas mate, I still didn’t believe I deserved to be breathing right now instead of being in heaven where I had planned to be only a few days ago.
“For what?” his soft tone interrupted my internal thoughts, my hands still shaking as I wrapped them around myself. I couldn’t help but bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs as I tried to make myself as invisible as possible. Fair to say it was a pointless effort.
“You deserve better than me” I whimpered, both me and my wolf hating how this was planning out but knowing it was true. I had always wanted a mate, to save me from my previous uncomfortable life but now I had it, I knew that I had been selfish in wishing for it. No one deserved to be bound to me, especially in such a personal way such as this.
“No sweetheart, look at me” he pleaded, my wolf whimpering loudly enough for me to obey his request since I didn’t have it in me to refuse him anything. Now I knew that he was my mate, my life, I knew that he was literally the only thing that was keeping me breathing. Without him, I would lose all hope and wither away like I had first planned the night my flower had been crushed along with my hopes and dreams of finding love.
“What, Adrian?” I asked softly, wanting nothing more than to reach out and brush the loose strand of hair from his face as it seemed to fall against his eye. I couldn’t help but take note of how attractive he looked, again wondering why on earth he wanted anything to do with me in the first place?
“Of course I want you Holly, how could I not? You are so beautiful, so sweet, so gentle and caring and I want nothing more than to be in your company like I am now” he stated, his tone filled with such honesty and sincerity that I couldn’t help but believe him. His words were so kind, so soft that it wasn’t only me that was affected with them but my wolf.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I couldn’t stop myself from mumbling as I diverted my gaze to stare at my bare and bony knees as they were positioned in front of me like before. I couldn’t help but feel the stab of pain in my heart at the thought that he didn’t want this, I mean why else would he hide the fact we were mates from me? Didn’t he want me to know, was he ashamed? If he was I could hardly blame him since it wasn’t like I was anything special.
“What do you mean, sweetheart?” he asked confused, the nickname he had called me right from the start sending a bolt of warmth through me making me have to resist the urge to shiver in delight at the sound of it.
“You knew, but you didn’t tell me” I asked, my heart only breaking more at the possibility that he had kept it from me simply because he didn’t want me to know. The thought pained me more than I would have liked; was I really that ugly, that unlovable that he wanted me to remain oblivious?
At my comment I watched as his eyes widened almost comically, confusion present before realisation took its place as he rapidly shook his head, his slight fringe moving almost amusingly with the action.
“No of course not, sweetheart. I just…I just didn’t want to scare you off” he stuttered, running his hand through that dark hair of his as I again found myself captivated in the action. I couldn’t help it, my wolf was entranced which meant so was I.
“Oh” was all I could manage to get out at his confession, a slight blush staining his slightly tanned cheeks making him look anything but threatening. The thought that he cared enough about me to worry about my feelings warmed me to my core, but I couldn’t help but be anxious that it seemed too good to be true.
Almost as if he knew exactly what I was thinking he quickly spoke up, as if he saw the emotions and hesitation in my eyes as his tone was rushed. “Please, look I know this seems really rushed but don’t you feel it? The sparks? The pull? The comfort?” he asked nervously, my eyes blinking as I tried to make sense of all of this. It was going too quick, but whether I wanted to change it or not was beyond me. All I knew was that the simple fact that I knew I couldn’t leave him, it was the last thing I wanted since I knew he was my happiness wrapped up in a tempting package of muscle and kindness.
It was with that on my mind that I took a deep encouraging breath, my lungs filling with air as I shaking got on my knees and crawled the small space towards him. I could tell he didn’t know what in the world I was doing, that was until I hesitantly crawled into his lap with a bright blush on my cheeks as I sighed out at the contact. It was pure and utter heaven.
I couldn’t help but close my eyes as I pressed my face on his shirt covered chest, breathing his scent in deeply as I prepared for him to throw me off. He didn’t though, rather hesitantly wrapping his arms around my small form as he pulled me closer. He kept his movements hesitant, his lips pressing against the crown of my head and for once I couldn’t help but crave sleep; as long as he was with me.