I started to slam the door on his face when he held a hand up.
"I can see her," he mumbled, glancing over my shoulder at Angie. I stood straighter, blocking his vew.
"Not anymore," I hissed. Liam narrowed his eyes at me. His initial politeness disappeared as he glared at me. I don't know why I was being a total ass to a total stranger, but he was looking at Angie and I didn't want him to look at her. Simple as that.
"Liam?" a soft voice called. Shit. Angie got up from the table and walked over to me. The moment her eyes met Liam's, she rushed to his arms and hugged him tightly. I gripped the side of the door for balance as something in my chest crumbled to pieces.
"Angie, I just wanted to stop by and wish you luck on the recital," Liam smiled, patting Angie's shoulder. I mocked his voice. Angie glanced at me over her shoulder, but decided not to say anything, which only annoyed me that much more.
"That's so sweet of you, Liam. Thank you," she gushed, hugging him again. Liam tucked a strand of Angie's hair behind her ear. I nearly puked on my shirt.
"Oh, it's nothing," Liam waved a hand. He scooted closer to Angie. My fists balled. "So I was wondering if you'd like to hang out after your recital," Liam offered, watching Angie's eyes. I turned to stare at Danny, who just sat there, eating casually. He was always overly protective of Angie, but why not know? Was I blowing this Liam kid's abilities out of proportion? Was he really harmless?
Liam took Angie's hands in his. Impulse numbed my reasoning.
"No!" I shouted, slamming my fist against the side of the door. I wished I had hit Liam, but that would have scared Angie.
Both Liam and Angie turned to me. "Are you ok Harry?" Angie spoke gently. I stared at her, my lips parted just a bit, but absolutely no words came out. I didn't really know how to formulate an answer for whatever it was that I was feeling. I didn't like this Liam kid. I didn't like that Angie liked him. And most of all, I didn't like that I didn't know what the hell my heart was doing in my chest.
I don't know. Goddamn it, Angie, you can hug him and smile at him and everything, but don't let him hold your hand. Please don't do that to me, Angie, I pleaded in my mind.
"No," I mumbled aloud. It was funny how extremely different one word could sound, depending on how I said it.
Liam gripped Angie's hand more tightly in his, realizing that that gesture is what pissed me off in the first place. I stared at his neck, trying to size up how hard I would have to squeeze before I popped the life out of him.
"So, what do ya say, Angie?" Liam smiled, turning the attention back to Angela. Angie looked down nervously. She needed help blowing this guy off, and I'd be happy to help.
"Well, I--"
"Angela has homework to do," I interrupted.
Angie looked up at me. Liam glared at me the moment she turned away. Oh, so he's two faced, eh?
"Tomorrow's Friday, Harry," she reminded me gently. I shrugged.
"So what? You have chores and-and other things to do around the house," I insisted.
Liam opened his mouth to add a prissy comment, but I grabbed his arm calmly and led him out the door. Angie just stared at me, unsure what to do or say.
"Goodnight Liam!' I waved. "Don't come back now, ya hear?" I laughed, slamming the door in his face.
I turned around to a bright faced Angie, standing with her tiny fists balled up. I tried not to smile. She looked cute when she was angry.
"What was that?" she demanded. I blinked and leaned closer to her, trying to make sure she was the same Angie that tripped on her own feet and had turned cherry red when I walked in on her dancing to Britney.
"You're way to young to be going out with boys," I told her plainly, crossing my arms over my chest. Carlo looked up from his third can of beer. Danny watched us from a casual distance. He seemed to enjoy me and Angie's banter.
Angie coiled back, and looked down at her feet. "He wasn't asking me out," she mumbled.
I laughed. "Well it sure sounded like it."
"We're just friends," she persisted, but quietly at that. I laughed even louder.
Then I knelt down just a bit, enough so that my eyes were level to Angie's. "Honey, boys don't talk to girls just to be friends with them," I told her softly. There were many things Angie had no clue about, things I wished she never had to learn-- or at least, I wanted to be the one to teach her...
Angie played with her hair. Then she looked up at me unexpectedly. Her eyes looked twice as big as usual. If only I could just capture that light inside her irises, hide it in my heart and open it on a rainy day...
"But you talk to me everyday," Angie pointed out. I took a slight, awkward step to the left. Distance. I had to keep my watchful distance, not act like an intruding creep.
Angie stepped closer to me, erasing that distance. Carlo had skulked off to the living room to doze off on the couch. Danny went to do the dishes, completely unconcerned with me and Angie. A part of me wished he would be stricter, enforce some boundaries to help me maintain a protective distance from Angie. And the other part of me wanted him and Carlo and Liam out of the picture. It could be me and Angie one day, just having fun, making each other mad and happy and everything in between.
"Why do you talk to me?" Angie asked, but not in an accusing way. I tangled my fingers through my hair, trying to calm myself down. She doesn't get it. I don't get it. All I know is that Angie isn't allowed to be with other boys. She just isn't.
"I happen to like talking to you. I didn't know that was a crime," I told her. It came off a bit too cold. Angie stormed off. She headed off to her room and when she reached the top, she turned around, just like the day I first met her.
I tried not to smile because she looked like she was floating, like those papery wings that she hid so well would unravel and help her take off.
"It is," she declared. "And you're a criminal."
I smirked. I liked how such a harsh label sounded so crisp and sweet in Angie's voice-- but I didn't dare tell her how very right she was. I am a criminal. Angie turned her back on me and left to her room. I shook my head at the ground. Whatever had just happened was only the beginning. And I had a feeling I would enjoy and suffer through this for years and years until I found the balls to tell her three lethal words...
***
That annoying Liam kid has been hanging around Angie everyday, for the past few days. All he does is follow her around like a lost puppy. He also tries so damn hard. He wears his fancy little lacrosse uniform to show off how athletic he is. I almost laughed when I realized he was the same kid with the "chicken nugget" hair from a few days ago.
I guess I haven't beaten him up yet because I know Angie doesn't care about him anymore than as a friend. But why would it matter if she did really like him? I can't stop her from liking boys. But, I can stop her from dating assholes and weirdos. Liam doesn't fit either of those categories, which only makes things more confusing. He's persistent, I'll give him that.
I try not to be an ass to Liam, at least not infront of Angie. I bet Becky can help me get rid of him. She's good with that sort of thing. But I haven't seen her as of late. I hope she's doing alright. Angie seems to be the only person that she enjoys being around. The woman that picked her up from dance rehersal last week was probably her mother, and that woman did not seem to give a rat's ass about Becky.
Instead, I tried to focus on Sam, what she was doing, if she was gonna go to class, or smoke, or make-out. I "tutored" her everyday. Her grade wasn't lettting up, but somehow, she convinced me to let her copy off my tests. I don't know why I let her do as she pleases. I guess I'm convinced that that's love: when you do stupid shit for the person you care about.
But if that's the case, how come Sam doesn't do stupid shit for me? She doesn't kiss me or touch me in any way that makes me feel like she really cares about me. But she acts the same when she's with her senior friends. They're all so distant, so artificial around one another. It sort of breaks my heart to know that they're probably the most popular kids in school, but they don't truly care about one another. I would take a bullet for Angie. For Danny, too...But Carlo can save himself.
It was the day before the recital and Angie was actually, suprisingly calm. I think she was so nervous that she ended up being cool and collected-- except when she saw me.
"Angie, it's cold today, you should wear a longer skirt," I told her, glancing briefly at her legs. She rubbed her knee self consciously.
"I'll be fine," she insisted. I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Angie, that skirt is too short. Wear something else," I reworded my request. It wasn't actually cold out, I just didn't want her to wear a skirt that short with that Liam kid hanging around.
Speaking of Liam, that idiot came every morning to pick Angie up for school. He sat next to her at the table, touching her hand every now and then to remind her he was there.
"I think her skirt looks great," Liam spoke up. He glanced at her legs. I bit my tongue, trying to control myself.
"And I think my fist would look great while crushing your nose," I threatened.
"Harry," Angie sighed. Liam glared at me before turning to Angie and smiling.
"I'll be outside," he told her. He leaned closer, as if waiting for her to kiss him. I grinned triumphantly. She didn't even waste a glance on him.
"Why are you so mean to him?" Angie whispered.
"Why the hell is he even here everyday?" I retorted. Angie sighed. Her brows furrowed more in disappointment than anger. She never grew angry at anyone; she was too kind to hate someone, even someone who pushed her buttons like me.
"Well I like him," she told me. My throat went dry. "He's my friend. I like talking to him," she finished. I sighed in relief. I knew Angie didn't like him, like him, but it still made me nervous for the day when she would fall in love with someone. And the fact that I'll have to sit there and watch it happen may kill me softly...
Sam picked me up for school. Her friends were in the backseat of her Jeep and they snickered when I carefully placed my copy of The Great Gatsby in my lap.
"Hey baby," Sam winked. I leaned closer to kiss her, but she turned her cheek slightly. I sat there, staring at her for a moment. She has never ever denied me from touching her in anyway. Hell, she doesn't deny anyone from touching her...
"I just um have a cold sore," she explained. I nodded acceptingly, even though I didn't really believe her.
We reached the school lot and headed our separate ways, since our schedule was different-- minus Chemistry, of course. She lingered in the halls, with a few of her guy friends, one of them had a varsity wrestling jacket. I can't lie and say I wasn't a bit jealous when she talked to those other guys. But asking a girl like Sam not to talk to boys was like asking a fish not to swim. It's in her blood.
"You ok?" Danny asked as we walked to class. I was in the advanced English, but Danny's class was next door.
"Oh, yeah," I lied. I headed to English a few minutes early. I tried not to raise my hand for every question, even though I knew all the answers. I started etching random poem verses on the side of my notes. I squinted at the words and realized all I had written was:
"Lorenzos whisper softly, but stand high.
Sicilian blood runs deep,
Angie's papery wings help her fly..."
I started to rewrite the line with Angie's name, but I couldn't think of anything, so I left it at that. The bell rang. I was about to leave when Fitzgerald called me up. She waited until the other kids were gone before she spoke up.
"Don't pretend you don't know the answers," she stated bluntly. I blinked, unsure what she meant. "You're the only student in my class that gives me coherent, original answers. not some bs from sparknotes," she told me.
I looked down at my notes and closed my journal up. She caught a glimpse of the shitty poem I wrote about Angie.
"I didn't know you wrote poems," she smirked, eyeing my journal. "May I see?"
My eyes widened. "Um I guess so," I mumbled. Fitzgerald scanned the three lines and chuckled lightly. Knots twisted in my stomach.
"Imagery," she stated.
"Sorry?"
"Describe her, her hair, her body, her wings," she told me.
I nodded, then I headed off to class. The last thing I was going to do was describe Angie's body, partially since it was changing everyday, as was her attitude.
I glanced at my watch and recalled that it's been exactly a two weeks since Sam and I started seeing each other again. I know it's cheesy of me to be counting like this, but I'm a romantic dork at heart. I decided to skip class and get her some flowers, maybe daisies. But as I rounded the hallway corner, I saw a couple making out. The girl had her thin, tan legs wrapped around the man's hips. He pinned her against the lockers, rubbing his groin against her abdomen.
"Sam?" I whispered. Sam turned around immediately. Her face flushed pale. Something in my chest wobbled and wiggled before plummeting to pieces, at the pit of my stomach.
"Oh, God, Harry," she gasped. I turned around and walked in the opposite direction.
My fists doubled at my sides. "Harry, please wait!" she called, but I ignored her. I ignored every little sound she made, every plea, every touch.
"Harry, I'm so sorry," she whispered. I turned around so abruptly, she rammed into me. I searched her face, hoping to find an ounce of remorse or guilt, but all I saw was smudged lipgloss and messy blonde hair.
"It's our two week anniversary," I told her, glancing briefly at the guy she was sucking face with. He rubbed his lips and smirked, knowing he had completely ruined everything between me and Sam.
Sam bit her lip and looked down. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. I walked away and I didn't look back because my eyes hurt. And they were wet. Really wet.
***
Angie's recital was starting in a few minutes, but I was at home, with my pillow over my face.I felt like a teenager. I know that's stupid to say, but I always like to think I'm above the typical teenage relationship crap, but I'm not. I'm a sucker for sluts. Yes, I said it. Sam's a slut. A beautiful, bitchy, manipulative slut that I was too much of an idiot to stay away from.
Angie was already dressed in her butterfly costume. She looked precious, like a fairy tale character come to life.
"Are you ok, Harry?" she mumbled, walking over to me.
"No not at all," I answered bluntly. She took a half step back. "I'm trying to sleep, so can you leave?" I told her harshly. I didn't mean to sound so rude, but she was pissing me off. She was too fucking nice and right now, I felt like shit and I didn't want to be comforted by anyone, not even Angie.
"Fine," she grumbled. "I didn't want you to come to the recital, anyway," she lied.
"Angie, wait, I'm sorry," I called, but it was too late. She had left to the car. Carlo popped his head into my room.
"Don't fuck with my niece's emotions, asshole," he threatened. I stuffed my pillow over my face, ashamed in how rudely I had treated Angie. I was taking my anger out on the absolute last person who deserved it.
I stared at the clock, wondering if I could fast forward to when I was married to a nice girl and had babies with her and she loved me and made me breakfast and put up with my mood swings and violent outbursts. And, and with my past. I hoped I would find a girl that would accept my past.
Angie's brown eyes came to mind. Her wavy, rich brunette hair and the rosiness of her lips floated in my head like a cloud I wanted to take for myself. I liked Angie. I enjoyed talking to her, making her angry, protecting her, teasing her, the whole nine yards. But for the past two years, I've on and off been with Sam. Sam, the girl who was the stark opposite of Angie. How could I like two people that are so extremely different?
I turned to my side and laid my arm out, as if someone were laying on it, resting her head as she dozed off. For some reason, Angie's face kept floating in my mind. I glanced at the clock and sat upright. I've got a recital to get to.
Angie's performance was shaky at first, but she settled her nerves after Becky gave her a pep talk on the side. She finished very strong, managing to land all her moves nearly perfectly. Her teacher was proud, but not as proud as me. I was the first to stand and clap, and the last to sit down.
I was about to run over and give Angie a hug, but when she saw me, her jaw gritted and she looked away. Instead, she ran into none other than golden boy's arms.
"You were great, Angie! I had no idea you were the star of the show," Liam gasped. He wrapped his arms around Angie in a tight hug. It's been three seconds. He needs to let go of her waist before I snap his neck.
"Thank you, Liam. I'm so glad you came," she smiled up at him gleefully. Liam plastered on his fakest smile yet. He was such a great actor. It blew my mind that Angie was so blind to it all.
I cleared my throat. Angie turned to me. "What are you doing here?" she hissed. I stood my ground.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Angie," I apologized. I reached for her hand, expecting her to forgive me and let me take her home. But she held onto Liam's hand instead, which sparked a fiery pit of anger inside my heart.
"I'm not going anywhere with you," she insisted. I laughed.
"Angela, we're going home," I told her sternly, reaching for her wrist.
"No."
"Angie!"
"Leave her alone, man," Liam intruded. I laughed hoarsely. Here's the kid that doesn't know when he's an annoying little prick, but he has the nerve to tell me to leave?
"Angie, go stay with Danny for a minute, I think Harry and I need to talk," Liam told her gently. I wanted to chug a vat of cholrine rather than talk to this idiot.
The moment Angie walked away, Liam's smile disappeared. He took a step forward. "Look, I don't think you realize who I am," he hissed. He patted his chest, over his prissy little cardigan.
"No, not really. And I don't give two shits," I spat, glaring down at him from my height advantage. Liam straightened up. His seemingly gently brown eyes darkened like charcoal.
"My uncle is the head sherriff and he's supposed to be your parole officer. So far, I've lied and told him you don't need his surveillance. But unless you want to be under house arrest, I suggest you back the fuck up and leave me and Angie alone," Liam threatened.