I could hear whispered arguments around me as my body and mind awakened. I didn’t feel like opening my eyes so I simply listened to the banter that surrounded me. A hand was stroking my hair in a repetitious manner which I found to be soothing.
I was still lying on the couch with my head rested on Nate’s chest. The television was on as background noise and the boys’ voices were becoming slightly louder.
“Guys, shut it would you? Alara is still asleep.” Nate said. It sounded as if he was right next to my ear; I was still in his arms from the previous night.
“Speaking of Alara; you look rather comfortable mate, with her resting her head on your chest and all.” Riordan teased.
“Yeah Nate, anyone would think that you had feelings for our dear Ari.” Riaz badgered.
“Guys, we all know he likes her, he has done for years. He’s just never been man enough to ask her out.” Drew spoke.
“Please, I think they both like each other, everyone can tell but the two of them.” This particular statement came from Alexei.
“Guys, can you stop talking like we’re not even in the room?” Nate asked with a voice that sounded slightly strained.
“It’s true though Nate, all of us realise it bar the two of you.” Vasic noted.
I honestly didn’t know what to make of the current situation. I knew that I had feelings for Nate, but I also knew that I wasn’t the right time to act on them, not with the loss of my mum still so fresh in my mind and heart.
Something told me that listening without their knowledge was wrong so I decided to ‘wake up’. I moved my head a little and mumbled incoherently. The voices in the room immediately fell silent and I struggled to fight the small smile that wanted to appear due to that.
Nate’s body became still under mine as I ‘woke up’ and I opened my eyes slowly. “Morning guys, what time is it?” I asked, implanting a sleepy aspect to my voice.
A chorus of ‘good mornings’ and other alternatives came from all of the boys and I smiled at them before lifting my head from Nate’s chest and sitting up.
“It’s about eleven in the morning Ari.” Vasic answered.
I sighed heavily, “You guys let me sleep in that late?”
I was sitting beside Nate on the couch now, both of us resting against the backrest. The boys that had stayed the night surrounded us and were all smiling lightly.
“It’s a Saturday Alara, we thought you could use the sleep in anyway.” Alexei defended.
“I’ll admit though, I did think about waking you up at one point. You make the best peanut butter pancakes. I don’t understand how you can always make them so perfectly when you hate them yourself…” Riaz mentioned, smiling and looking off into the distance as if imagining those pancakes.
A laugh escaped my lips and I smiled at the boy who had a knack for getting me to smile. He always seemed to be hungry.
“We stopped him though; we thought it might be nice if we cooked for you.” Drew said.
“I don’t mind helping out.” I glanced over at Riaz to see him looking at me with utter hope in his eyes. This of course caused me to laugh again, “Before you ask Riaz, yes, you’ll get your pancakes.”
Riaz smiled, “Thanks Ari.”
“Hey, is my dad back yet?” I wondered aloud, directing the question to anyone who would answer.
I felt a large, warm hand encompass mine and I looked over to see Nate holding my hand. I smiled at him, an action I seemed to be embracing frequently this morning. It was good to know that Nate was here for me. He was able to make me feel safe.
“No, he’s not back. He called earlier though and said that he’d either be back later tonight or early tomorrow morning. He told us to make sure you knew that if you wanted him back home right away, to just call and he’d come immediately. Your uncle isn’t taking the news too well and your dad wants to support him. He asked if we could stay the night again so that you have loved ones around you.” Nate informed me, squeezing my hand in reassurance.
“Nate, Drew and I can stay the night.” Vasic said. “The other guys have work or family commitments tomorrow.” He gave me a small, grim smile and I returned the gesture.
“A few of the guys from the team have called up this morning, they heard about your mum on the news and they wanted to wish you well. They all said that they’d come by after work for a while if you were okay with it.” Alexei mentioned.
The part about my mother’s death being on the news piqued worry within me, “If the crash was on the news… It must have been horrific.” I could hear the shaking aspect in my voice, I fought it back.
“We honestly don’t know any details Ari. Your dad said that he’d talk it over with you.” Alexei said, he spoke in a soothing voice. He hated it when I cried, all the guys did.
“Hey, what do you say we make some breakfast and then relax for the rest of the day? We can watch a few movies, play a couple games, whatever you want Ari. The others guys will turn up within a few hours and they can join in.” Vasic suggested.
There was a chorus of, ‘that’s a good idea’ and, ‘yeah, sure’, from the boys around me.
“That sounds good Vas. Thanks guys, for staying, for supporting me. I’d be a mess without you guys here with me.”
__
We took about an hour and a half with breakfast. It was an occasion with copious amounts of mess, laughter and teasing. Nate, Vasic, Riaz, Alexei, Riordan and Drew were able to make me feel at ease. I wasn’t able to completely forget about what had happened to mum, but I was able to focus on other things.
Riaz wore a grin that was the picture of pure glee when I placed the plate of peanut butter pancakes in front of him. I’d made enough for everyone and the boys had cooked eggs, bacon, hash browns and anything else they had a craving for. It was a good breakfast, filled with talk of hockey and potential movie possibilities for after breakfast.
It was now six o’clock and the whole team was over. Each of them had wished me well and apologised for my loss. I didn’t want to focus on my mum in this moment; I wanted to focus on being with my friends, feeling content.
We’d already watched two movies and the boys had played a couple of games on the Xbox when Tai asked Elias if he had managed to, ‘get with that girl he was after’.
“I’m working on it mate, believe me. This girl is not easy to impress.”
“Hey, why’s this the first time I’m hearing about this?” I asked, my voice leaked unhappiness, but my eyes showed that I was only joking.
“First time I’m hearing it too.” Nate spoke.
“Same here.” There was a chorus of these words with most of the team. It seemed that only Tai, Lucas and Adam knew about Elias’ courted girl.
“Well… Uh… You see…” Elias trailed off, unable to complete a coherent sentence.
There was humour filled laughter around the room at his stumble, mine included.
“What young Elias here is attempting to articulate is that he just didn’t see the appropriate time. Lucas, Tai and I only know because we caught him writing a poem for her. We stole it off him, read it aloud and teased him – …” Adam was explaining before he was interrupted.
“Viciously teased I might add…” Elias accused.
“Lay off mate, we weren’t that bad… Besides, Elias gave the poem to her and it had all of her friends shooting him longing looks. We re-thought our stances quick-smart.” Lucas continued, his voice replacing Adam’s in the explanation.
“Please,” Tai blew out the word, exaggerating it. “Speak for yourselves. I’ll never write a love poem for a girl, all I need is my charm.” He smiled.
The guys and I all laughed. “By charm you mean ego right?” Nate questioned.
“Tai, we all know that you’re a big softy. I’ve known you for how many years now? One day you’ll fall for a girl and fall hard and that girl, you’ll do anything for just as she’ll do anything for you.” I commented.
Tai sputtered, puffing his broad chest out a little, “I am not a ‘big softy’.” He defended himself.
“You’re a softy Tai, the lady has spoken.” Drew declared, grinning.
From there the discussion seemed head towards hockey, which was a subject I was more than happy to entertain.
We spoke of upcoming games, the players that we needed to look out for. Our next game was with a team from a school around half an hour away. It was the school of the two idiots who had bothered me the other day at the juice bar. The game was scheduled for this coming Friday. Most of the school would show up for the game as it was at home.
“You don’t have to play this Friday if you aren’t up to it Alara.” Tai said, the sympathy, sadness and understanding that he felt concerning my current situation were evident in his voice.
I didn’t even need to think about my answer. I lived for hockey, if anything could take my mind off my troubles; it was a game of hockey. It wasn’t until Friday anyway and we’d have training every afternoon and a few during lunchtime in the lead up to the game.
“Of course I’m playing in the game.” I responded after a few seconds of being lost in my own thoughts.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea Ari?” Elias inquired with a tangible level of concern in his voice.
The smile that I showed him was reassuring. “It’s a good idea. I’ve loved hockey my whole life, it makes me feel alive. It will be a welcomed distraction.”
It was around nine o’clock and all of the boys except Nate, Vasic and Drew had left for the night. I was lying on the couch in the theatre room; my eyes were closing and I was absolutely wiped. The three boys had left me no longer than five minutes ago in search of food.
The air held a slight coolness that made me feel a somewhat uncomfortable but I was too tired to truly care. I was afraid to admit to myself that I was apprehensive about being alone. Nate had been with me last night and I knew that his presence had made me feel safe. I felt that if I was alone, the nightmares of mum’s death would invade my mind and I wouldn’t be able to sleep after that. I had to face being alone at one point though. My head was resting on a pillow and the large couch was comfortable, that would have to be good enough.
My eyes had only just closed when I felt a blanket settle lightly on top of me and the couch dip as someone crawled across it. A warm body curled up against my own and I could tell that it was Nate. His appealing scent gave him away; it was a pure manly scent that I couldn’t explain with words and it belonged solely to Nate. It was his personal scent and it made me feel safe. He made me feel safe.
His arm wrapped around me as he pulled my sleepy body to his chest. He whispered, “I didn’t think you’d want to be alone when you slept. If you want me to go, just say the word."
I was grateful for his presence, I didn’t want to be alone, and I wasn’t ready to be. I didn’t know what was going on between the two of us, but I knew that I didn’t want to fight it.
“No, it’s okay. Stay. You’re right; I don’t want to be alone.” I whispered back, a small and goofy smile on my face.
It was easy to discern that he was smiling as he murmured words that caused my smile to widen, “Good, because I didn’t really want to leave. Sleep well Alara.”
“Goodnight Nate.” I breathed as I fell asleep.
___
The next day the boys and I were sitting at the breakfast table, freshly showered and with various foods and the radio on when my dad walked into the room. He had horrible bags underneath his eyes and he appeared to be a broken man. When his eyes rested on me, a small smile stretched across his features.
I rose slowly from my seat and walked straight toward him. I wrapped my arms around my dad and hugged him tightly.
“I missed you kid.” He muttered.
“I missed you too dad.” I murmured back.
We both let go of each other and I sat back down in my seat, with my soggy Crunchy Nut cereal in front of me.
Dad sat down in the seat opposite from me before speaking, “Thank you for staying the night again boys. I’m grateful for it. I’m sorry that I’m taking advantage of your time.”
“No problem Mr. Kinkaid. You aren’t taking advantage of our time. We’re perfectly fine being here for Ari.” Vasic replied.
“Thank you.” Dad replied before turning to me, “Your uncle and I organised the funeral for your mum to be on Tuesday.” He said with a grave voice.
I was taken aback for a moment before I could reply, “How’d you organise it so quickly?” That would only be about four days after she’d died.
“Your uncle knows the man that manages the company. Well that and the fact that your mum and I had already made plans in case we died. I just never expected her to go before I did.” There were tears in my dad’s eyes again but he simply blinked them away as I nodded in understanding.
Dad turned towards the boys, “You three are invited of course, the whole team is. I’ll understand if you don’t come though, Tuesday being a school day and all.”
I watched silently as the boys shook their heads at my dad’s words.
“I’ll be there, school day or not. I’ll be there.” Nate said.
“Mrs. Kinkaid was like a second mum to me, there’s no way that I’d disrespect her and you both by not going.” Vasic stated.
“I’m going as well and I know that the whole team will be there. We all loved Mrs. Kinkaid.” Drew said in response.
“Thanks guys, I know my wife loved all of you, you were like adopted kids to her. She’d be smiling down upon us in seeing that you’re all going to be there.”
Nate, Vasic, Drew and I all finished our breakfast and my dad left to head to his bedroom. The boys decided to leave soon after so that my dad and I could talk about what had happened to mum. I walked them all to the door and hugged them goodbye.
“Are you coming to school tomorrow Ari?” Vasic asked me as he wrapped me in his arms for a warm hug.
I nodded in answer before realising that I should verbally reply. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“Okay, well I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning at the regular time yeah?” He asked.
I pulled away and nodded once again in agreement. “Sounds good, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I replied as he walked out the front door.
Drew was the next to hug me goodbye, he didn’t say anything and he didn’t need to. I knew he’d be here for me through everything.
When Drew walked out the door, Nate stepped up to me. I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I was immediately surrounded by his heady scent and that familiar sensation of security enveloped me due to his presence.
We did speak for a few moments, we simply hugged and it gave me a warm feeling. I’d had a crush on Nate for quite a while and I was incredibly interested to find out where this was heading. Perhaps I was only imagining that something was changing between us, but I was fairly certain that this was real.
“You know I’m always here for you. You have my number, you can call or text me whenever you need. I’m so sorry about your mum Alara, I promise you’ll get through it and I promise that you’ll always have me to lean on if you need.”
I pulled away from Nate’s embrace and smiled up at him, “Thank you, Nate, for everything.”
“Anytime Ari.” He said, smiling down at me.
Nate leaned down and pressed a light kiss to my forehead before walking out the front door but I didn’t allow myself to think further into it as I closed the door and went in search of my dad. I needed to know what had happened to my mum and he was the only one that I wanted to tell me.
___
“So, the police were on a high speed chase to catch a that horrible criminal that’s been featured on the news lately and that stupid, disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being crashed right into mum’s car?” I asked my father in a brief summary of his own words. We had been talking about the accident for most of the day and into the night and I was still struggling to wrap my head around the horrible details.
My dad nodded in affirmation.
“Mum died instantly right? She didn’t suffer, did she?”
Dad let out a heavy sigh, one that was filled with unspoken emotion.
“She died instantly Honey, she didn’t suffer.”
I was relieved to hear that. I didn’t want my mum to have suffered. I couldn’t bear that thought.
“That’s why she was on the news isn’t it, because she was killed by that man? By that murderer who’s been on the news lately? What’s going to happen to him?” There were so many questions running through my mind and each was competing to be spoken first.
“The police are charging him with the murder of your mother as well as the other woman that he was on the run for killing.”
“He’ll definitely get life imprisonment right dad?” My voice wavered slightly.
Dad’s eyes were filled with pain, “The police officer who spoke with me said that he doubts very much that he could get a sentence that was anything less. The evidence that they have against him goes beyond reasonable doubt.”
I sighed in relief. Justice would be served. At least someone else’s mum couldn’t be taken away from them because of this idiot.
My dad and I talked for a while longer, about my uncle, the funeral and how we were going to go on from here. He offered for me to have the day off from school tomorrow, but I didn’t accept the offer. I’d have to go to school again anyway; I might as well face it now. Besides, I’d have the boys around me. There were at least two of them in all of my classes. I’d be fine.
I headed to my room soon after. The evening had been horribly emotionally draining and I found myself eager to sleep. However, after I’d changed into my regular sleepwear, shorts and a singlet, I found that I couldn’t shut my mind down. I knew that another reason as to why I couldn’t sleep was because I wasn’t surrounded by Nate’s calming smell. I wasn’t wrapped in his arms and that felt strangely wrong. It had only happened twice but it felt as if sleeping in his arms was the normal thing.
I tossed and turned and made absolutely no progress in falling asleep, so, as I usually did, I reached for my mobile phone and unlocked it. The message icon showed one message and I smiled when I opened it and saw who it was from. Nate Lauren.
Hey, how are you? So, I’m kind of struggling to fall asleep. It feels wrong not being next to you.
I smiled at the text. It was cute, playful, and nice. It was a pleasant surprise and I found myself messaging back right away.
Hey yourself, I’m okay. It’s been an emotional day. I was just thinking the same thing. It’s strange.
I hit send and not even a minute later my phone lit up with his reply.
I’m here for you if you want to talk about it, you know that. It feels wrong. As if the normal thing is me being with you.
I smiled at his reply.
I know, thank you. I agree completely. I’m going to attempt to sleep. I’ll see you at school. Goodnight. : )
I hit send and the reply came quickly yet again.
Anytime. Okay, sleep well. I’ll see you tomorrow. : )
I placed my phone back onto my bedside table. I felt slightly more peaceful now having spoken – in a sense – to Nate. Tomorrow I would have to go to school and the following day would be my mum’s funeral. I only hoped that I had the strength to deal with it. It took me around ten minutes to fall asleep but at least I could fall asleep.