Ok, I was glad that we were going home, but they wanted to changed their whole plan, so I still could go with them on tour. But, really, I didn't even asked for that.
But I knew that I just had to expect that fact, otherwise he will be upset.
We were back on the road, and normally I had to rest, but I had rest enough.
So, I kept Kirstin so company while she's drove off.
'And how is it with you ?' I asked her.
'I'm ok, but what about you? how are you're feeling now ?'she asked.
Typical Kirstin, even when she goes through a lot of pain, she's always worried about the other person.
'It goes on & off, I still have a lot of pain. But I can't take to many painkillers, maximum 3 a day. And I already took 2, so I have to wait till this evening, 'I said.
In the meantime Måns and Alexander came back down : 'So, that's already sorted, the fans who already bought a ticket, they will an e-mail with some explaining and a new ticket with the exact date ,'said Måns .
'And how is it with my lovely wife ?'he asked me a few minutes later.
'It goes, 'I said, but I knew that he wouldn't believe me.
'And why do I have the idea that you're not telling me the truth . I know you longer then today, 'he said.
'Ok, I'll go back to the others, 'said Alexander. He knew exactly when he had to go.
'Should I pull over or ?'asked Kirstin.
'No, just keep driving, 'said Måns.
I tried to get up, but I had so much pain, that I had to sit down again. AUW, and I think that the boys could hear me screaming till upstairs.
'Yeah, you're feeling well??? And that's why you're now moaning of pain ,'he said.
'No, you're right. I feel myself far from ok. But, I can't take any painkillers now, I have to wait till this evening, ' I said.
'How many did you already take ?'he asked.
'Two, one this morning and the second one two hours ago, 'I said.
'Ok, but this can't go further. So, you're gonna take some rest now and with that I mean sleep ,'he said.
Ok, he was right. I still had a lot of pain and apparently that scream was so loud, cause in a sec stood everyone back downstairs.
'Is everything alright here? Cause that scream, that was something ,'said Marcus.
'Sorry guys, I didn't mean to make you so worried, but I just had a very painful twinge, 'I said to him.
'And that's why you need to take that rest, we're almost at the ferry, so we're back home ,'said Måns.
I got, very carefully, up and drag myself to that sleeping couch. And it took me maybe 5 seconds before I felt asleep.
'Honey, wake up. We're home, 'said Måns.
I opened my eyes and indeed, we were back home.
And everyone was kinda surprised to see us back already, but when they heard the reason........
'So, how are you're feeling now? And did that son of mine took some good care of you ? 'his mom asked.
'Yes, he did. But sometimes he was a little bit too worried. He's a real sweetheart and it was his idea to coming back, so that I could recover , 'I said.
'Yes, sometimes he can be a real sweetie, but also he can be really stubborn ,'she said. And I knew what she meant by that.
He was indeed so damn stubborn, that I was about to go away for a couple of days. But I realised that he really needed me by his side.
'He didn't say much back then, 'I said to her.
'No, indeed. He's never that quiet , most of the time, he's always the one that talks, but then. And the worst part was that he didn't allowed us to help him, 'she said.
She was right. And I was the only person then who could get to him and was allowed to help him.
'So, all our stuff is out of the bus. But, what are you doing here outside? Why don't you take some rest ? You look still a bit tired,' said Måns.
'You're right. I need some time to recover, 'I said. I gave his mom a kiss on the cheek and went back inside.
And of course were Alex and Sophie glad to us, but when we told them why, asked Sophie : 'Are our brothers or sisters now with granddaddy?'
We looked to each other, shredded our shoulder, what do we have to say now?
'Yes, they are. But I'm sure that he would take good care of them, 'said Måns to her.
And on that point I start with crying again. Måns walked to me and then he hold me tight. He always let me cry out and sometimes it happened that his t-shirts were smeared with mascara.
'EUHM, Måns sweetie, can you please let me go? I would like to take some rest now,' I said.
'HHHHMMMM ok, 'he said, 'then I go take Messi out of a walk .'
'C'mon Messi, than can the misses take some rest, 'he said.
Finally, I could get some decent sleep, cause our kids were away with his mom and they didn't come back till this evening.
But, I just closed my eyes for 5 minutes, when my phone rang.
Damned, who can that be ?
Nathan : 'I'm sorry for the disturbance, but I heard from Lars what happened. I know what you both going through, so if you guys ever wanna talk about it.'
OMG, I even didn't know what to say at that point, I didn't knew that Nathan had a girlfriend.
'Yeah, well we're going now to a support group for couples that faced a miscarriage too, 'he said.
And after that Måns got back home, I told him what Nathan had told me and his reaction was the same as mine : 'What? I didn't even knew that he had a girlfriend, did you?'
'No, I didn't knew that either. But, I found it very sweet of him that he cares about us too, 'I said.
'Yes, that's true. So , what do you think? Are we going to that support group ?'he asked.
'Sure. Just let me send a message to Nathan, so that we know the exact date , hour and address, 'I said.
And a few days later we were at that support group, just talking with some random strangers who are going through the same thing.
'Ok, ladies and gentlemen, before you're all going home, I have a little announcement to make. After last week I'm gonna stop with this support group, but don't worry, the group still exist, only is it with another counsellor, 'said Christian.
We both found it very sad to hear that Christian was going to quit. And when it was his last week, I asked him : 'Christian, may I ask you something? Why are you gonna stop with the group?'
He told me what the reason was and just like that it hit me in the face: he had cancer.
And also he was all alone, his wife left him, that miscarriage was apparently too much for her and for him it was the reason that he started with that support group.
I saw that he had tears in his eyes and I asked him : 'Which cancer is it ?'
'I have gullet cancer and they give me a year, 'he said. Ok, double slap in the face and I started to cry as well.
'What's wrong ?'he asked.
'I lost my father to that cancer, so I know what you're going through. If you ever wanna talk about it, me and my husband are here for you, 'I said.
And on the way back home, I just told Måns what Christian had said. But we didn't said a word to each other, we were in shock.
'Can you believe it? He's all alone now. And just now you need the support from your friends and family, 'said Måns a few minutes later.
'No, indeed. But I told him that he can count on us. He's always welcome , 'I said.
'And that was a very good idea of you. He needs someone who he can turn too, 'he said.
I only wonder who would we gonna get instead. Ok, we only went two times, but still, I felt like we had a real connection with him.
But we had to wait till next week and in the meantime Måns started back with rehearsing . One more month and the tour starts again.
And on one night, I just started with making dinner, the doorbell ranged : "Who in earth can that be?"
'I'm really sorry for the disturbance, but can I come in? I promise it won't take long, 'said that unknowing male voice.
'EUHM, yes, of course. But may I ask you who you are exactly ?' I asked.
'Yes of course, how rude of me. But it's not like you're coming every day in the house of someone famous, 'he said.
Ok then, but I'm already used to that.
'And the name is ?'I asked him again.
'My name is ...............'he wanted to say, but we got interrupt by my hubby.
'Honey, I'm home , said Måns.
'Måns, sweetie, we have a visitor, 'I said to him.
'Nice, is Christian here ? Just give me a second, 'he said.
'Who's Christian ? No, my name is Brandon and I need to speak to the both of you, it's kinda important, ' he said.
I heard he had an accent and I thought he was the same fire fighter as the one that pulled us out.
'No, that was Tom. But I work indeed for the fire department, but as an investigator. And when a fire looks suspicious , they call us ,'he said.
'Ok, I'm here. And who's that ?'asked Måns.
'This is Brandon and he's a fire investigator , 'I said to him.
'Nice to meet you, Mr Zelmerlöw, 'said Brandon formal.
'EUMH, yes, nice to meet you too. But there's no need to be so formal. Just Måns is good for me ,'he said to Brandon.
'Yes, sorry. Forces of habit. But the real reason why I'm here is because it was indeed arson. The fire started in the room of a certain Peter Zimney, if I'm correct, ' said Brandon.
'Yes, indeed. We all had a room on that floor and normally we stay with 2 or 3 people in a room. But not this time, ' said Måns.
'So, no one , expect you and the hotel staff, knew who stayed in that room ?'asked Brandon.
'Yes, that's right. But what are you saying now? That it is possible that someone of that staff had something to do with it? ' I asked him.
'Well, it looks like that, yeah. And I already give my notes to the German police and also to a certain Lars. He's a police inspector and he already has a file about you ,'he said.
'Yes, that's true. I contacted him when the problems with my ex started, 'I said to him.
'Yeah, I've read about that. That was really full on, 'he said.
'Yes, you can say that. But it looks like it kept following us, 'I said and told him the whole story.
'So, if I'm right, you were almost kidnapped and your car was sabotaged, 'he asked Måns.
'Yes, we already went through a lot together, but now they're not only coming after us, but also after the boys ,'said Måns to him.
'The boys ? Do you mean your kids or ?'asked Brandon.
'No, the Zappanones, 'I said. For god no, just leave our kids out of this mess.
'And who are they? Can I have their names too? I know already Peters, but the others, 'he said.
Måns was about to give him those names, but I had the feeling that somethings wasn't right.
'If you want their names, their standing in that file too. Even where they live , 'I said to him.
They both were surprised by my reaction, but luckily Brandon understood it.
'Ok, I think it's for the best that I go back to my hotel. Here's my card, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call, 'he said.
And when he was gone, Måns asked me : 'What's going on? Why did you respond so weird on that question ?'
'I just don't trust him. And I know what you're thinking now, here she goes again with that whole suspicious thing. But can you imagine how it would be for the boys, when someone of the fire department stands up their doorstep , 'I said.
'NO, you're right,' he said and took his phone.
'Who you're gonna call ?'I asked him. But then I heard him saying : 'He Nathan, can you check someone for us? Yes, that's him. Ok, thanks.'
Ok, so Nathan is going to check that Brandon dude out.
Måns was about to get upstairs, but then he suddenly stopped and looked at me
'What's wrong ? Why are you standing still ?' I asked him.
'Did you made already dinner ?'he asked.
'No, I was planning to do so, but then Brandon came along. So I putted back into the fridge, but to be honest, I'm not really hungry for the moment, 'I said.
'Yeah, me neither, 'he said and he had again that special look into his eyes.
He lifted me up, but instead of going upstairs, he walked to the couch, putted me down and then he walked towards the kitchen.
He opened the door of the fridge and a few seconds later he came back with a plate.
He gave it to me and I saw what was on that plate : 'Don't drop it, cause that would be a shame ,'he said.
'And why would you think that I would drop that plate ?'I asked, but instead of answering me, he lifted me back up and went to the stairs.
'C'mon, put me back on my feet. This isn't good for your back ,'I said.
'No, I'll carry you all the way to the attic and maybe I'll put you back on the ground, 'he said.
To the attic? What did he do there and when ?
'Ok, what did you do ?'I asked him.
'Patience my dear, you're gonna see it very soon, 'he said.
And he putted me back down, when we were at the door of the attic. He took the key out of his back pocket : 'Ok, you have to close your eyes. And I will know it when you're secretly looking, 'he said.
I closed my eyes but he even held his hand before them, so that I couldn't look.
'SURPRISE!!!! Ok, now you can open them, 'he said.
I was totally amazed by it : 'Wow, it's really amazing, but when and how? But you had some help for this, just admit it, 'I said.
He really made from that attic a true make over and again I had tears in my eyes.
'So, now you have your own personal space too, If you need to be alone with your thoughts, 'he said.
'Thank you so very much for this, 'I said and I was about to give him a passionate kiss on the mouth, but then I realised that I was still holding that plate with Mum – Mums.
'And you have a fridge as well, so then you can put a lot of plates full with Mum – Mums , 'he said.
'I thought this was MY personal space, so I'll put into that fridge what I want, 'I said.
I putted the plate in the fridge and took a decent look around. OMG, he even putted a four poster bed in it.
'So , then can you take a rest without no one to disturb you, 'he said, but again with that sexy voice.
'If you say so, but I wanna be sure that it is a decent bed, 'I said teasing.
And that look in his eyes said more than enough : 'Are you sure? Cause it isn't that long since.........' but I silent him by kissing him passionate on the mouth.
'Yes, I'm very sure and if I'm not, I will let you know it on time, 'I said.
And a hour later, I had to admit, it was a very decent bed.
But what did he said about that not being disturbed . So why did I heard his phone rang?
' SHIT!!!! Sorry honey, I completely forgot to put it on silent mode, 'he said.
But when we saw who was calling, he answered : 'Yes Nathan? So Brandon is more than ok? Thanks for checking him out.'
'So Brandon is ok. PHEW, I'm glad to hear that, 'I said.
'Yes, he even doesn't have a speeding ticket, 'he said.
Ok, there goes my gut feeling, it was the second time that it mislead me.
'Hello, lost in your own thoughts again ?'he asked.
'It's the second time that my gut told me something else, 'I said.
'Yeah, so? On the other hand he could be a psychopath and you hear that so often that someone like that works at the fire department or with the police, 'he said.
Yeah, he was right, but did he had to say that now? What if someone else had something to do with that arson?
In the meantime he went back downstairs and I looked around.
And then I saw the real surprise, he even hang a poster of my dad with our Robbe. How did he gets his hands on that negative or photo?
Ok, I need to ask that to my colleagues, cause I have that photo standing on my desk. And my hubby knowing, he used his charms to get it done.
And as usual that weekend flew by. I promised myself to go back to work, but only for a few days a week. Cause sitting all alone in that house, that was something I didn't wanted to do anymore.
'He, welcome back. And how are you're feeling now ? I feel so sorry for you guys, 'said Elena.
I really have the nicest bosses, they always notice when somethings wrong and after that whole Jason & Jane story they were really there for me. And it was also Elena that suggested to work 2 days from home instead of that part time.
I worked really hard and was a real effort for the company.
'Well, it goes off and on, sometimes I really have a bad day. But now the kids are back at school and Måns is busy with rehearsing , I don't want to sit alone in that house, 'I said to her.
'Yes, he told us that already and what did you find of his surprise ?'she asked me.
'Let me guess, you all knew what he was going to do with that photo , 'I said.
'Yes, but I thought you wouldn't mind. And afterwards he putted it right back where it belongs, 'she said.
'Well, it was indeed a surprise. He made from the attic a personal room for me, 'I said.
'Wow, I want a handy man too, 'she said with a wink.
Yeah, who doesn't , but I was sure that he had some help. But from who or when??????
'Hello, are you still with us ?'she asked.
'Yes, sorry, but I just thought of something, 'I said.
Ok, back to work. I was just like Speedy Gonzales that day.
'Don't you overdue it. I don't want to have any discussion with that lovely husband of yours, 'she said when she saw me working so hard.
'No, I'm gonna finish this dossier and then I'm going home ,'I said to her.
On the other hand I was glad that I was back home. Ok, maybe I did overdue it a little bit, cause I was really tired. So , tomorrow I'm not gonna work that much.
And I just lay down for 2 minutes, when my phone ranged : 'Hi honey, how was work today?'
'It was ok, but I think I overdue it a little bit. But don't you worry, tomorrow I'm not gonna work that much. And besides I was taking a nap on our couch, when a very good looking man decided to call me, 'I said.
'Oh really? And who's that person then? And what are you doing on that couch? Don't you have a personal room ?'he asked teasing.
'Well, that person that's disturbing me now is my husband. And I'm too tired to do all those steps. I need those strong arms of my hubby to carry me upstairs, 'I said teasing.
This conversation remind me of that time we started dating.
But he didn't answered right away, but then : ' Yes, he's almost done with rehearsing and then he's coming home.'
'Ok, but please be careful, ' I said.
'Like always, see ya later honey, 'he said and then he hung up.
I looked at time and saw that it was almost dinner time.
Oh dear, in a few minutes are the kids back and I even didn't start with making dinner.
But, when I was busy in the kitchen, the phone ranged. I'm just gonna let it ring, but after a time I got to curious and I answered it : 'Hello, who is this ?'
But again, no answer. I asked it again, but nothing. Don't tell me that it started again.
I hung up and called immediately to Lars. I explained what just happened and he told me that he would inform Nathan as well.
'But, let me guess, you didn't told Måns what happened ?'he asked.
'No, I didn't, cause he's on his way home and then I will tell him that. I just don't want that he would have an accident on his way home, 'I said.
'Ok, so he's on his way home, 'said Lars.
'Yes, he was almost done with his rehearse and then he would immediately drive back home, 'I said.
And indeed , a few minutes later he was home, even the kids weren't back yet.
So, this was the first time that he was back home before our kids.
'You're already home. Did you rehearse that quick or did you just step on the gas? 'I asked him .
'What? Aren't you happy to see me? Ok, good to know, then I'm off again, 'he said.
'Måns Petter Albert Sahlén Zelmerlöw, how dare you to say that?!?! Of course I'm happy to see you, but I just didn't thought that you're would be home that soon, 'I said.
'Ok then, cause I thought so, 'he said teasing.
'Besides, I'm glad that you're home now, cause in a few minutes are our kids back too, 'I said.
'Oh really ?'he said teasing.
'No, not for that, you silly. But seriously, those phone calls started again, 'I said.
'OMG, you really mean that. And did you already said that to Lars ? 'he asked.
'Yes, I immediately called him and he said that he would inform Nathan, 'I said.
'But, to call me after that was happened, that was too difficult or ,'he said.
'No, but you were on your way home and I didn't want that you had an accident on your way back home. And I'm telling it you know, 'I said a little bit mad.
'Mum, are you and dad having a fight again ?'asked Alex.
Oops, apparently the kids were back home, but we didn't hear them coming.
'Dad, who are Nathan and Lars ?'asked Sophie.
Whoops, what had we to say now. But luckily said Måns : 'They're friends of your mum and dad. And apparently we had to meet each other this weekend, but we completely forgot about that, so that's why they called us.'
And let's hope that they believed us, cause they were still too young to know the real truth.
'Ok, that wasn't really smart, 'said Sophie to us.
'No, indeed, but we already set another date with them. When daddy is back from his tour, 'I said.
'And we're going with him, 'said Alex enthusiastic.
'Yes of course you do. And we're also going to Belgium, so you both can see your nephews again, 'said Måns to them.
Yeah, I really missed my sisters and their family, but we still had that social media and e-mail as well. But it wasn't the same.