Kyungsoo bowed before the small shrine in the sitting room, and arranged a tray of offerings Min Hyun was holding for him; a bowl of water, a cup of tea, and a small plate of rice cakes. He lit candles and burned some incense sticks. The soft fragrant of cedar wood cloyed the air as he thrust the incense sticks into a canister of uncooked rice.
He closed his eyes to focus his mind. His brows furrowed. He was unable to concentrate, and the heaviness in his heart wouldn't leave him. Both of his head and his heart were betraying him.
Kyungsoo was confused, frustrated, annoyed. And sad. Hundreds, thousands of contrasting thoughts were racing and whirring around in his head.
What should he do?
Clasping his hands earnestly together, He prayed for his heart to be at peace. May the king will enjoy a long healthy life, and the kingdom will continue for thousand of years, and the nation might enjoy peace.
He ended his prayer before he became greedy to ask for more. He should only be grateful, Kyungsoo reminded himself, should not ask heaven to help him evade what he was powerless to deny. It wouldn't end well.
Kyungsoo placed his cupped hands over his stomach and bowed lowly to the shrine, mentally asking for forgiveness to heaven, and the divine spirits of heaven and earth. He felt that stabbing pain again. He took a shallow breath and waited for the feeling to settle down.
Min Hyun bowed not so deeply to pay his respects to the shrine, removed the tray, and came back for his master.
Leaving the sitting room, Kyungsoo walked sedately toward the right wing. He entered the corridor leading to the back of the residence, and paused to slide open the door toward the garden. He signalled that Min Hyun should remain inside. "Min Hyun, could you please go to Yongmin-ssi and ask for some fennel seeds and dandelion roots for me?" He asked.
Had been serving a master who was fond of medicinal plants and flowers, Min Hyun had learned what those herbs were for. "Recently you always appear worried and cautious. Your mood grew pensive. I don't need Master Yongmin to tell that it is not your stomach that is in pain," Min Hyun commented with the curtness of a butcher.
"You are talking nonsense, and It's not even noon yet," Kyungsoo half turned his shoulder and gently chided Min Hyun.
"Then you better start listening to my nonsense."
Kyungsoo chuckled without replying. "Go now," he urged Min Hyun to leave with a small wave of his hand, "I will be enjoying the garden as I wait for you."
"I'm sure you will, if by enjoying the garden you mean digging holes into the dirty soil and covering yourself with filth."
Kyungsoo walked among the plants with Min Hyun stubbornly was following behind. He glanced at Min Hyun and managed a smile. "Do not worry about me, I will find my own amusement." He made an appreciative hum to convince Min Hyun. "The weather is perfect for a stroll in the garden."
Min Hyun nodded efficiently. "Then I'll be going now. I'll let you know if Master Yongmin also has some potent herbs to cure heartache, because I don't see you doing something about that."
Kyungsoo felt a surge of affection toward Min Hyun. The books he read to Min Hyun may have softened the way he spoke, but they could never change the way he looked at things. Min Hyun had always been blunt and straightforward, the realest person Kyungsoo would ever meet. How grateful Kyungsoo was to have his company.
"Stop talking rubbish," Kyungsoo softly said.
***
Min Hyun wound his way through large bamboo trays of freshly picked radish and potato, took a small basket from the wall shelf in the kitchen (tripped over a damn potato, hit his head on the edge of the shelf), and went out of the Royal Consort Residence. He was just a few steps away when he saw a servant headed toward him with mincing steps. She was not a palace servant, as her hair was twisted into one thick braid that hung below her back, and her hanbok was peach color and not deep blue.
"I come to send a message from Lady Kim Sohyun," she said as she came near Min Hyun. "Lady Kim is wondering if Honourable Do could teach the lady how to play a zither today. Honourable Do had mentioned his willingness to help."
Min Hyun's face hardened. Even before one wave subsides, another one surges. Bad luck seemed to be following him like a hungry stray dog today. He should have bowed deeper to the shrine. "May I have the message then?" He asked.
Lady Kim's servant pursed her lips, her brows furrowed. "You just did."
"Spoken words mean nothing. Without a formal letter composed by Lady Kim I am afraid that if His Honourable Do gets into a trouble because of Her Ladyship's request, His Honourable will not have anything they can use to defend their self. You must be aware that relations between Royal Noble Consort and anyone other than His Majesty should be governed by strict propriety."
Sunkyu took offense at the little speech. That man servant seemed to imply that her young lady sent her without a good intention on her mind. "Our Lady knows what is proper and what is not. Young Lady is just trying to be kind," she sharply said.
Min Hyun made a short bow from the neck, his mouth tightened into a thin line. He was about to get some herbs his master didn't need, to cure the sickness he thought he had, and this young miss talked about the kindness Lady Kim generously bestowed upon Royal Consort Do. "Her Ladyship may stop trying too hard, as we have understood Her Ladyship's remarkably kind intention well."
"Y-you!" Sunkyu raised a hand to strike, and Min Hyun caught her wrist.
"It is unwise to start a commotion in the royal court." Min Hyun dropped Sunkyu's hand.
"How dare you! I serve the daughter of Left Minister Kim."
"And I serve Royal Noble Consort Do. How dare you to imply that your lady is more important than our honourable noble consort." Min Hyun took a step back. "Please urge Her Ladyship to be careful and respectful here. Every one in the palace is compelled to obey the strict etiquette of the royal court. Do not damage the virtuous reputation of the eminence's family. This humble servant only has one advice; please do not throw caution to the wind."
Sunkyu was surprised at the extremely blatant words. Everything the servant said was what she had been spewing from her mouth, but it was another thing to hear it from someone else, a servant at that. Young Lady should not be reckless, Sunkyu swore to heaven she had told the lady again and again that her tongue went numb. She had agreed to do her young lady's wish only because the lady had threatened her that she would sent Minyoung instead, and since Minyoung was not good with words, the lady would write a formal message Minyoung shall take with her.
Min Hyun raised a hand politely toward the walkway. "Please leave now."
With a scoff Sunkyu turned around and left. Coming to the Royal Consort Residence was a mistake, she thought.
Min Hyun's watchful eyes followed Lady Kim's servant until he was sure she would not be coming back. Afterward he patted his robe, and as if nothing happened, he went to see Master Yongmin.
***
Kyungsoo walked down a small footpath to a side of the garden, toward the small pavilion under the tall, shivering trees. He ascended the low white stone stairs, touching the handrail lightly for balance. Half sitting on the cedar parapet wall, he leaned his body against one of the red pillars. The servants had prepared some mats and cushions inside, but he had no interest in doing anything yet. He gazed at the garden and calmly listened to the buzzing insects.
The trees shattered withering leaves ceaselessly like flowing tears. Once in a while, with a big, hearty shake, leaves were falling like a shaking wet dog. They floated as they had their last twirl before settling to the ground, forming small piles around. The servants would have a busy morning tomorrow, he thought.
The serene surrounding helped him pacify his restlessness and breathe a bit easier. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against the pillar and tilted his face to feel the sun on his cheeks.
It was tiring to have a constant battle with himself. His own self was his biggest enemy; he was tired fighting that side of him that was selfish and uncaring. There was no doubt in his mind that he eventually would stop trying. In one of those days in the future he would be a dam that broke, pleading King Jongin to not remarry, to love only him. And everything would go downhill from there.
Kyungsoo grimaced and let out a moan of discomfort. That throbbing pain again. His mind was buzzing bees that his stomach was getting sick of it. Drawing in a cautious breath, he opened his eyes to focus on the scenery instead of his troubled mind. He tended to think too much when his eyes were closed.
He blinked and squinted his eyes until he could see without discomfort, driving the blur from his vision.
The beauties around him materialized in his view again. Small piles of leaves gathering on the pathway. Dragonflies flapping and rustling their wings in unpredictable steps. Trees putting on a show in fall. The trees. Something caught his attention, quickening his heartbeat. He craned his neck and hauled himself forward.
King Jongin was staring at him with uncomprehending eyes, but when their eyes met, he smiled.
***
"Finally," King Jongin said, a bit loud so Kyungsoo could hear him. He straightened up from the tree and walked over to Kyungsoo, climbing the stairs effortlessly. "I had been considering to stand there all day if you didn't notice me," he went on in his normal voice when he reached the last stair of the pavilion.
"I am not complaining. I like seeing you like that, soft and dreamy." But sad. What was weighing your mind that you bore such expression on your face?
King Jongin was dying to know the thoughts that meandered in Kyungsoo's mind.
Kyungsoo's face filled in delight. A small part of his heart healed, and he found his smile formed more genuinely. "Jongin." A pleasant jitter thud in his chest. He cherished every moment he could speak to King Jongin intimately.
"You didn't inform us you would come. I could have prepared some light meals for you." Kyungsoo's beaming eyes watched King Jongin heading toward him.
King Jongin bent from his waist in front of Kyungsoo, placing his hands on his royal consort's shoulders to look at him in the eye. "Good day for you too."
"Have you had your midday meal?" Kyungsoo asked him with a soft smile.
King Jongin ignored the question. He removed his hands and said, "Ask me what I want," then walked away.
Kyungsoo's eyes turned to King Jongin's direction as he casually lay on the floormat at the centre of the pavilion, an unspoken question in his eyes. He straightened up, walked to a corner to reach out a cushion, and brought it toward King Jongin. "What do you want?" He calmly asked, as he adjust the cushion behind King Jongin's back. "Do you want some sliced pear? Let me go get you some refreshments-" Kyungsoo squeaked when a hand caught his wrist and pulled him to the floor.
King Jongin hovered over Kyungsoo, his hands were on either side of Kyungsoo's head. "All I want right now is to pin you down on the ground and kiss you senselessly." Despite his choice of words, his tone of voice was light and playful.
Kyungsoo's eyes widened. "You pulled me!"
King Jongin lowered his mouth to Kyungsoo's and lingered over his royal consort's lips. "I was not speaking hypothetically." He slipped a hand on Kyungsoo's lower neck, pleased to see a gleaming pair of eyes round in surprise.
"I've been outside all day. I must have smelled terrible." Kyungsoo's voice came in a whisper.
King Jongin looked thoughtful. He leaned forward and smelled Kyungsoo's neck. "You smell like sunshine," he mumbled in approval. "If I want flowery smell I will burn some rose or lavender incense powder. I don't expect you to be perfect for me everytime, or any time. Do you expect me to wear the 'nine symbol dress' every single day?"
Kyungsoo's lips twitched as he considered an answer. A smile he tried to supress passed through his face. "As a matter of fact I do," he firmly said. "It crushed my heart to see you without strings of beads hanging from the front and the back of your crown."
"Then I will always wear one for you. You will be sorry when my magnificent headgear poking at your back tonight."
"After a night of two I will get used to the feeling of something poking at my back," Kyungsoo lightly said.
King Jongin's brows quirked with amusement. "I cannot say I'm disagree with you. I admit, I tend to get too excited when I'm with you."
Kyungsoo tried to look calm as he raked his brain to search for a witty reply, but to his embarrassment, he felt heat creep to his face. He must have turned crimson red. He mentally chided himself for getting into that situation.
King Jongin laughed. He reached out to stroke his thumb along Kyungsoo's cheek.
Kyungsoo felt his heartbeat escalate. The love he saw in King Jongin's eyes weakened his resolve everytime, any time.
"I also was not hypotetically speaking when I say I want to kiss you senselessly." King Jongin leaned over and started kissing Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around King Jongin's neck and let him.
The wind whistled through the trees, sending a peaceful sound. The cicadas, as if being attracted to their song, were buzzing and clicking louder.
King Jongin lightly kissed Kyungsoo, again, and again, and again, without the intention to pursue more. He enjoyed their closeness, and the way Kyungsoo's lips welcomed his.
The fair breeze flew, and a leaf landed onto Kyungsoo's hair. King Jongin smiled and stretched out his fingers to remove it. He kissed the top of Kyungsoo's head, his forehead, then his cheeks, his nose, then planted one last kiss on his royal consort's lips which he let linger for the longest time.
"If we don't get up now, the servants will have something to talk about for a whole full day," Kyungsoo softly reminded King Jongin, yet he didn't make an effort to leap from King Jongin's arms.
"My dear," King Jongin held Kyungsoo closely against his chest, "I will gladly give them something to talk about for a whole full year." With a deep sigh he got up, then reached out his hand to help Kyungsoo up. "Sadly," he paused to brush some garden dirt from Kyungsoo's robe and lightly adjust the fabric, "I come here to take you somewhere. Let's go get you into a simple robe first."