After a long, stressful, and exhausting day from the university, I went straight home to my apartment wanting to rest. As I stepped into my room, I was welcomed by a few boxes laying all over my place, new paintings hanging on my wall, and some other stuff inside. The change in my room wasn’t drastic, but it all felt different. Good different.
She decided to move in with me. ‘It will be happier living with more people around’ I remember her as she reasons out.
Then I saw the culprit behind the little chaos that I’m seeing as she walks out of the bathroom. Seeing how exhausted I looked, she went straight to me and put me in her warm embrace.
“Rough day?” she quietly asked and I just nodded. She rubbed my back gently, and just like that I already felt relaxed. That’s when I thought that I must’ve made just the right decision to have agreed to move in with her. We stayed in that position for quite a while until she detached herself away from me just to drag me to the bed and let me rest there.
“I’ll just clean up the mess.” She says with a smile. But the moment she stood up, I grabbed her arms and pulled her towards me making her sit in my lap. I immediately encircled my arms around her waist as I buried my face in her neck.
“Let’s stay like this for a while.” I whispered quietly, and I’m just thankful that she obeyed.
"....."
Slowly, she moved and turned her body around just until she can face me. She cupped my face so that she can see me. She just continued to caress my cheeks without saying a word. She gave me feather light kisses all over my face until finally, she succeeded in making me smile. Her kisses went further down until she reached my neck. She continued giving me kisses there, and I just enjoyed it for a while.
“I thought we’ve already agreed you’d tone down with the teasing.” I reminded her when I already felt her going a bit too far.
She didn’t stop with what she was doing. “Who says I’m teasing? I’m just being a perfectly normal girlfriend.” Her voice was almost muffled because she’s busy devouring my neck. That’s when I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.
With one swift motion, I pinned her down on the bed and trapped her arms above her head. With a determined look in my eyes, I began to worship her neck with kisses. I travelled up in one of her ear and grazed my teeth on it, nibbling her earlobe. I still wasn’t satisfied with her reaction so I searched for her pulse point, and as soon as I licked on it, I heard her moan. That’s when I stopped. I untangled myself from her, and I just grinned when I saw the disappointed look on her face.
With her face still red, she sat right back up and looked at me. “Okay, I get it now. I’ll stop with the teasing.” I patted her head as she pouted.
We found ourselves again in the middle of a comfortable silence. I stared on the boxes laying on the floor while she found comfort by nuzzling her face on the crook of my neck.
“Are you still tired?” She asked me quietly. I responded by shaking my head no.
“Then is there something bothering you?” She inquired again. I just kept my mouth shut. “You know you can always tell me anything.” She assures me again. I continued to avoid looking at her.
“Remember when you lied about not liking me?” I just nodded. “I cried inside the bathroom because of that.” We shared a quiet laughter remembering the event.
“Are trying to make me feel guilty?” I finally managed to say something.
She momentarily looked at me and laughed. “No, I believe you have all the time to make it up to me for that.” She buried her face on the crook of my neck again as she continues to speak. “My point is… lying and keeping things from each other will just make it hard for the both of us. So I want us both to just be open to each other and tell each other everything.”
“Even if it’s stupid?” I asked.
She chuckled a little. “Even if it’s stupid.”
I finally turned to face her. I asked as I look into her eyes, hesitating a bit. “Even if it hurts?”
She held my hand in hers firmly, and kissed me on the forehead. “Especially when it hurts.”
She moved slowly away from me as she positioned her herself and laid on our now shared bed. She tapped on the side gesturing me to come lay beside her. “You can be the little spoon this time.”
We shared the same silly smile as I complied to her request. I opted to lay down with my back facing her. She fixed my hair by moving it behind me, exposing my neck. I can still feel her fingers lingering on my exposed skin as she move it slowly towards my tummy, encircling her arms around me. She remained quiet until I was ready to talk.
“I’m just scared.” I started off quietly.
“Of what? Of me?” She chuckled while answering.
“I’m scared of how happy I am with you. What if you suddenly decide to leave me? I think I’d die.”
She lightly hit my head. “Who says I’m leaving you? Pabo Myoui.”
I became quiet again. “Remember when you told me, these kind of relationships doesn’t last... What if you’re right? We both know none of these is normal.”
“Yeah you’re right…
…you’re a penguin, I’m a cub. We’re from different worlds.” She giggled again. I turned to face her so that this time I can hit her head. She just smiled sweetly at me.
“I’m not joking Chaeyoung.” I pouted. She then pulled me closer to her, placing my face near her chest. “What if it becomes too hard, especially for us? Too hard and it ends up breaking us?”
She began to run her fingers through my hair, calming me down. “When I accepted the fact that I am undeniably and irrevocably in love with you, I never expected it to be easy. I don’t expect for us to always have endless rainbows and butterflies, but I chose to be with you. Simply because you make me happy, and I don’t want to deprive myself of that.”
She tightened her embrace on me as she continues to fondle with my hair. “I’m also afraid, but I’m not planning on leaving you because it just tells me that what I feel for you is real.” She paused for a while before planting a kiss on my forehead. “I’m not promising you anything. I’m not even gonna promise you that I won’t hurt you or break your heart because at some point, I might. But I’m planning on staying. I’ll latch onto you… for as long as you’re happy with me.” She giggled again, probably a little shy of how cringe-worthy her dialogue is.
But instead of what’s coming out of her mouth, I was more caught up on what her heart is telling me. Unlike before, the beating of her heart right now is calm, telling me that she meant all the things she said. And I just continued to enjoy hearing it. I simply can’t help but wonder how unfazed she is by the idea of being with me, probably until a lifetime. And I find myself comforted by it even more.
“Are you like asking me to marry you?” I suddenly found the courage to tease her.
Suddenly, I felt her move away just enough so she can reach out for my hand. She held it above us, so that we were both looking at it.
“No. Not yet, anyway.” She then placed her fingers on the spaces between mine. “Soon. When I find the perfect ring to match your perfect little finger.
I found myself staring lovingly at her as she continues to gaze at our intertwined hands. I look at her lips tugging upward as if the sight before her is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen, and I’m wondering if it can rival the beauty I’m seeing in front of me. She then placed our hands on her chest and looked at me. Without saying a word she kisses me. She kisses me like the first time she did. She kisses me, and it’s all that I need to assure me that she’s here with me. And kisses me slowly, telling me that there’s nowhere she’d rather be right now, and nothing she’d rather be doing than to love me.
She moves away slowly just so she can hug me again and plant kisses on my cheeks until she reaches near my ear. “I love you Myoui Mina.”
And that’s all I need to allow myself to fall even deeper for her, if that's even possible. And I allow myself to rid of all my doubts and fears and just be in love with her.
“I love you too Son Chaeyoung.”
This time I held her face between my hands and kissed her lips fully. I look at her with the biggest smile on my face.
"Now hurry up and go find me that ring."