a/n
hello. i am tired. uni is hard
also enjoy!!!! ha
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Gigi opens the closet door and practically stuffs both Taylor and I into the cleaning closet. It's dark in there and definitely not enough room for two tall giants like the two of us. I sit down on the floor with my back against the door and Taylor sits down too, against another wall where the cleaning supplies aren't hung on.
"So what now?" She says.
"I thought you brought me here to deflower me." I smirk at her sheepishly. She laughs and this is the first time tonight, I'm talking to her. Like, actually talking to her.
Taylor's nodding. I can barely see her in the low light. "I just," She pauses. Both our voices are lower than normal because the room is so damn small and we both subconsciously don't want the others to hear us. "I'm sorry about being a bitch tonight. Earlier." She looks at me, straight in the eyes, so soft and genuine.
"It's fine." I say. "I also apologise for being so rude earlier. I should be more understanding."
She shakes her head — not liking what I say. "It's not you." She whispers. "It's me. It's always been me fucking up." Taylor buries her face in her hand. I know what she's talking about and I feel my heart sink again. We don't want to live through that memory again.
"Christ, it's not." I'm taking her hands. "Can you stop that." I pull her hands away from her face. "Also, no more drinks for you." I add which makes her laugh.
"I'm not gonna deflower you, Styles." She sniffs through her tears, giving me a small smile. "You know they wanted me to call you." I nod — of course, everyone was anticipating it.
"Just because you stole my first kiss. I think I should take it back." I lean toward her and it's like something else takes over me. Our lips are crashing together and everything fits. It's as if my hands have always belonged in her hair. Her hands rest on my chest and mine make their hand to her waist. It's better than when we first did it but the feelings both times are the same. It's not electric, or what songs tell us what it should be, but it's comfortable and easy.
My tongue's in her mouth and hers is in mine. It's all quick that I can't tell when it happened but at the same time, everything is slow because I'm suddenly aware of everything about us — how Taylor's hair feels, what she smells like and how cold her hands are when she's touching my neck. I'm realising how long and awkward my legs are when I'm trying not get closer to Taylor.
I pull away. She's got an unreadable expression on her face as she looks down at me with her mouth slightly open. I'm still sitting on the floor with my hands still around her waist. I'm reluctant to let go. She's got her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. "I think I took more than I intended to." I finally say, smiling a little.
She nods, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I got carried away." Taylor laughs softly but we're both still tangled with each other.
"Will you ever do that again without a dare?" I ask sincerely. I feel vulnerable because I don't say it as a joke and I can tell it makes her feel uncomfortable as she stares at me. Now, I'm incredibly aware of how close we are because I can feel her chest against mine.
Taylor licks her lips and rests her hand on my shoulder. We just sit like that for a few moments before untangling ourselves. We're standing up, facing each other. When I look at her, I realise her lipstick is smudged and realise that it's going to be too obvious.
"Taylor." I put my fingers over her lips, cleaning out her lipstick completely. "Everything's smudged." She nods and lets me wipe it off which is weird because she's so complacent with me.
"Looks like you wore all of mine." She laughs, using her sleeves over my lips to wipe off her lipstick.
"Are you going to tell me why you were mad?" I finally say, still with my hands on her face. I have my hands on either sides of her face, looking at her intently.
Her hands drop to her side. "I don't know. I forget that we aren't best friends." She says softly which makes me melt. It's not just what she says but how she is that makes me melt. "I forget that I don't know have a right to know everything about you first anymore." Taylor's avoiding my eyes, looking away and I recognize the pained expression she's making and that voice too. She's starting to tear up again.