Chapter Ninety-Seven: Voice
The flight back to the island was just as jarring as the first.
After he landed, Vordt roughly dropped Xaphile on his feet with a curt instruction to get some rest, and had then promptly taken to the skies once again. The moon was out and the stars were brilliant, but all Xaphile could really think about was the story Vordt had told him.
About his father on Atlas, and the events that had led to where they were.
His past on this world, obscure as it was, seemingly held a strange amount of depth.
Not only that, but the fact that he was apparently related to Kings and Queens was strange.
It didn't feel real.
With a sigh, he ran a hand through his matted hair, but when he found that his tresses were oily and pretty much plastered against his skull, his normally vacant-eyed expression quickly turned into one of disgust.
"Ew..." he muttered, instantly dropping his arm and looking down at himself. "Dude, gross."
Feeling as if he would break out into hives, he tiredly jogged to the hot springs and shed his pantaloons. As he was folding them up, he glanced at the small tear in the fabric and sighed, feeling a bit guilty. Amelia hadn't noticed the damage done to them yet, but he knew he should tell her.
He felt really bad about it, considering they had been a gift, but he hoped she would understand. Considering Ella had skinned her knee, there hadn't really been time to go looking for something to staunch her bleeding since she was literally just as fragile as she'd been on earth.
Grimacing at the soreness in his body and the exhaustion in his limbs, he waded into the springs and ducked under the water. Holding his breath, he simply sat there beneath the heated surface, letting his hair rinse itself out. He could feel his feathers being saturated with water.
It was a strange sensation, but not really dislikable.
When his lungs began to burn, he rose, pushing his hair back so it wouldn't fall forward and cover his face.' For a long time, he simply stood there with his eyes closed and his head tilted back, breathing deeply and evenly. It was actually a blessing that there was hot water nearby since he could soak almost as if it were a bath. It helped lessen the stress on his muscles.
He dunked himself again, then slicked his hair back.
When he turned slightly, he noticed his hair had gotten longer since he'd woken up in the forest. Either that, or it really was longer than it had been back on earth, but he couldn't say for certain since a lot of crap had been going on. The last thing he'd been paying attention to was his hair.
Curious, he grabbed a fistful of it near the ends and straightened it out.
To his surprise, it actually was longer than he remembered it being. The last time he'd actually paid it any attention, it had been just below his waist, but now it hung well past his hips.
He was actually kind of glad since he was proud of his hair.
It was healthy and thick despite the length, and he had no visible split ends.
"I should take more care of it," he sighed, cracking his back with a sigh. "I haven't been braiding it back like I used to, so it might end up getting knots and snarls if I'm not careful."
Just as he was about to get out of the springs, he heard someone let out a small gasp.
Jumping in surprise, he turned and looked at the rocks on the shore, but didn't see anyone.
"Who's there?" he demanded, instantly covering his groin; not like they could see anything well, considering he was submerged in water from the waist down. "Hello?"
For several seconds, there was no response... but then, Karla and Krishna emerged from behind a rather large stone. He blinked, then stiffened and sank down into the water.
"Greetings, Vadil!" Krishna called, scratching her nose with her eyes trained on the sky. "We... er, Karla... has come to check on your wounds... and... erm..."
"Give me a few moments to get dressed before you say anything else," he called. "Please, if only for a few moments, turn around."
The female sprites immediately did as he requested.
Like a wild man, he tore out of the water and dragged his underwear and pantaloons back on.
Even though he was wet, he figured he could change later.
"Are you finished?" Krishna asked, making him turn. "May we speak with you?"
"I... was a bit worried," Karla added. "I have not restocked your medical supplies."
"I removed the magic bindings from the wrists of my... servants," he cautiously explained, making both females stiffen and whip around. "I no longer need the salve, and I can assure you that I'm okay now."
"You removed the binding stones from the fire mage?" Krishna hissed, eyes wide. "What have you done?! Fire magic is an element that is not allowed within Calcoon's borders!"
Xaphile's eyes narrowed since he was getting a little tired of having to play master all the time.
Taking a deep breath, he let it out.
"Look," he said simply, giving them a quiet stare. "Do you know who my companions really are?"
Krishna stared at him, eyes narrowing slightly in perplexity
"They're... your servants," Karla tentatively offered. "That is what you said, yes? That they're yours?"
"I did say that, and in a way, you could say it's true," he said simply. "Those people, after all, are actually mine. Just not in the way you've assumed."
"Vadil," Krishna growled. "What is it that you are trying to explain?"
"They're not my servants," Xaphile bluntly told her. "They're people of serious importance."
"Importance? What do you mean?"
"I mean, they're important people. For example, the girl with the white hair? She's actually one of the four rulers of Aerika. She's the countess of the Southern Provinces, Ellameira Rochard."
Krishna's eyes widened in shock and she stiffened.
"You're associated with one of the four rulers of Aerika?" she whispered. "How can this be?!"
"It's not just her," Xaphile quietly told her. "Sinmir, the big guy with the blonde hair? He's the firstborn prince of Adanac, the country north of Aerika."
"Why did you not tell us?!" Karla exclaimed, covering her mouth in horror. "Had you told us from the start that we were in the presence of mortal royalty, we wouldn't have forced them to stay on this island as their lodging! We would have given them all much better accommodations!"
"I didn't say anything for three reasons," he sighed. "First, I was sick and still extremely confused about a lot of things. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries. Second, we agreed as a group that it would be better not to say anything. And third... this island is actually perfect."
"What about the others in your group?" Krishna asked, moving forward and pressing her hand against his chest. "The halfling and the other fair-haired human? And the... fire witch?"
"Vrael... he's a halfling, but he's someone who saved my life, in more than one way," Xaphile curtly explained. "Because of that, I'm looking after him. The other blonde man is Gus, our guide across Aerika. And Amelia... she's a pyromancer, but she's also a healer who dabbles in plants. She's the logical one in our group."
Krishna's hand balled into a fist, tightening in the damp fur stretching down between his pecs.
He blinked when she looked at him with sharp, upturned amber eyes.
There was, to his shock, no hostility in her stare.
There was sadness.
"You did not trust us... did you?" she softly asked. "You did not trust us, or our clan. At all."
Guilt struck a chord within him.
It wasn't hard to see why she'd jumped to that conclusion.
"Don't assume that I didn't trust your clan," he quietly told her, lifting a hand and setting it on her muscled shoulder. "Your clan attacked our group at first, that much is true, but you did so with good intentions in mind. Heroic, in fact. And what's more, you stopped when I asked."
"Then why did you not tell all truths?" she demanded, staring at him like a kicked kitten. "Why did you withhold such important information?"
"If you must know... I was afraid," he weakly admitted, making her eyes snap open wide. "I was genuinely afraid, Krishna."
"You were afraid?! Of us?" she whispered. "We would never harm one of our own! Ever!"
"I have no memory of my life prior to three months ago," he shot back, then glanced at Karla, who looked stunned. "You all knew about this and informed many others about it, too. So tell me... if you left this place and somehow forgot every single day of your life, how would you feel if you were forced to come back with no idea on how things would turn out?"
He saw it when her eyes shifted.
She glanced down for a moment, brow wrinkling like folded satin.
"I... did not think of it that way, but I... think I understand," she muttered, then looked up at him and stared straight into his eyes. "Do not let your fire witch use any of her elemental magic while she is within our borders. It is against our ways."
"You have my word that I'll let her know."
"These... mortals. How is it that they are yours, if they are not your servants?"
"The same way that your squirrels aren't domesticated," he murmured, cracking a rare smile and giving her a softer look. "They aren't my slaves, they're my companions, Krishna."
It happened within a split second.
One moment she was looking him in the eye, the next, she was moving forward. He stiffened when she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. Her claws gouged into his sides, making him jerk, but she simply inhaled.
"Krishna," he hissed, staring straight ahead. "What are you doing."
"Don't... call... my name," she said in a small voice. "If you do... I will not be able to... reign myself in and... I might attempt to dominate you here and now."
"W-what?"
"Krishna!" Karla squeaked, looking mortified. "Now is not the time or place for such behavior! Control yourself!"
Xaphile froze when her left hand retracted, landing on his lower belly and quivering violenty. He swallowed when her claws trailed down the streak fur running up his abdomen.
"Your scent... your body... your heart... I am attracted to you, in a way that cannot be described. I do not know if it is my instincts that drives me, or whether it is just something about you, that makes me desire you."
"Krishna!" Karla hissed. "Halt!"
"Give me... a moment."
He blinked, but when her claws dug in deeper, he clenched his jaw. She was struggling, and he knew it because her wandering hand now refused to move lower than his navel. Staring off into space, he let his balled fists unravel and forcibly relaxed, even though he was in pain.
Lifting his arms, he wrapped her up in a strong embrace and gently patted her back.
"I'm sorry," he said simply, making her whole body jerk. "Don't take this the wrong way. I like you a lot, really, but... not like that."
"I know," Krishna breathed. "I have known ever since the first day that you are different. I heard about your encounter with Sarka... how you rejected her. She is coupling with Orimand even now, and has admitted the two of them might mark each other as mates. She is grateful to you."
"I'm happy for her," he sighed, gently rubbing her back. "I'm also sorry that I can't accept your feelings. I'm not looking for love, Krishna... not right now anyway. You're a wonderful woman, and an extremely fierce warrior, but I just can't."
"Why?" Krishna asked, finally pulling back and staring straight into his eyes; her face was flushed and she was panting slightly, fangs extended beyond their normal length. "Explain to me why I cannot be yours... please. Explain to me why you have sworn off bedding women!"
He closed his eyes, then took a deep breath and let it out.
"I'm grieving the death of the one I held closest to my heart," he said simply, making her eyes go blank with shock. "There's one thing I can never forget, no matter how long I live. There's only one memory I couldn't manage to let go of, and it continues to fester inside me."
"Oh," Karla whispered, eyes lighting up with horrified realization. "Oh, no..."
"The girl I loved died in my arms," he interrupted, watching as Krishna stepped away. "Aside from that one moment... things are blurred and confused. When she died, she broke something inside me, because I loved her with everything that I had."
"Vadil..." Krishna breathed, eyes wide with shock. "I... I did not..."
"You don't need to apologize," Xaphile told her, shaking his head, "but in comparison to the state of mind I was in back when I woke up alone in the forest... you could say that I've started improving my mindset. I'm still hurting from the loss, but things... they've been getting easier."
"Because of your... companions?" Karla asked; she blinked when he nodded. "I see."
"Why are you attracted to me?" he asked, staring at her a little oddly. "I'm not particularly good looking, ans also, why do you think I'm different?"
"You look into my eyes rather than at my body when you speak to me," she said simply. "You are the first male who has ever done that. Eye contact is a sign of respect. Additionally, the intensity of your gaze is something to behold, since you have gentleness and compassion for all. Your eyes are powerful."
"Ah," he mumbled, swallowing awkwardly. "Well... yeah. Sorry."
"Do not apologize," Krishna sighed, then looked at his bleeding sides and flinched. "I am the one who should be apologizing to you. Forgive me for overstepping my boundaries. I will return to the forest and make preparations to have your... companions... moved to a more suitable place."
"Actually, we're fine here," Xaphile mumbled, making her straighten in surprise. "I wasn't joking when I said this island is perfect. I actually like it a lot. It's quiet during the day, and we have privacy to do as we wish. Plus, practicing how to fly and use magic is easier without a crowd."
"Ah!" Karla squawked. "I forgot to inquire! How fairs your training?"
"Er, actually, I don't particularly know how well I'm doing or even how fast I'm progressing."
In a fit of temptation, he spread his wings. The girls jumped and danced back, tails flicking around when he hunched forward, flapping them heavily.
Within seconds, he caught a breeze and was lifted off the ground.
Krishna's eyes widened and Karla's mouth dropped when he rose nearly five feet off the ground, then he snapped his wings shut and landed heavily.
"Elthavil mak matook savi da," Krishna breathed, blinking rapidly. "This is unheard of."
"What is?"
"Never has a Vadil managed to lift himself off the ground so soon after ascension!" Karla exclaimed, clasping her hands. "And your wings! They're so big!"
"You've given us much to think about," Krishna said softly. "Since you would prefer to stay here on the island, we will return your companions' belongings to you."
"And our horses?"
"Oh, your steeds? They are safe and being well cared for in your absence."
"Thanks."
"We will take our leave now," Karla said softly. "We will return with the belongings we took."
When they turned, he held up a hand.
"Wait... before you go," he murmured, making their ears flick, "I just want to let you two know that I'll be leaving Calcoon in a month's time."
"One fortnight?!" Krishna gasped, eyes widening. "Why so soon?"
"My younger brother is being held captive by someone," he explained, making her eyes flash. "I do not have the luxury to be sitting around while he's out there, so after being trained in all of the things I actually need in order to allow my body to function properly, we'll be leaving."
"You mean your wings?" Karla asked, furrowing her brows. "That is all?"
"That," he said simply, then tentatively forced his tail to sweep into view, "and this. When I first lost my memories, it included how to make certain aspects of my body move the right way. I still have trouble keeping total control of certain limbs. I'm going to learn everything I can before I leave."
"Does this mean you will not return?" Karla tentatively asked.
"Not at all," he reassured. "Once I find my brother, my companions and I will resume the journey we were taking before I marked Ella and wound up coming here. After that... well, only the future can tell, but I'll probably return here someday if things go well."
Krishna nodded, then glanced at Karla.
"You have our thanks for this information," she said softly, then swallowed. "And you have my thanks for giving me an answer, unworthy as I am to receive it."
"You're not unworthy, Krishna," he said softly, giving her a sad expression. "If anything... you deserve someone better than me."
Her eyes widened in shock, but then they shone and she smiled.
There was sorrow in her gaze, but his words seemed to have cheered her immensely.
"I will have to set my sights on a king, then, rather than a prince," she laughed, rubbing her eyes and blinking back tears. "You are a very strange Vadil indeed, Xaphile. I am glad to have met you."
He watched as the two of them walked away, heading towards the pebble beach.
Not long after they were out of sight, he saw the giant squirrel scrambling up the giant rock.
When it leapt, it vanished into the darkness, and he sighed.
That was a doozy, he silently told himself. I'm starting to really, really hate being confessed to.
Running a hand through his wet hair, he glanced at his bleeding sides and shivered. The gouges were extremely deep: blood was trickling down across his skin in droplets that saturated the waistline of his pants. He ran a hand across his face and let out a sigh.
Then he made his way towards the lodge.
Unfortunately, as soon as he walked into view of the building, he saw Ella.
Arms folded, foot tapping, face tight with barely leashed fury, she was leaning against the door.
She did not look happy.
"Where have you been?" she snapped the moment she saw him. "You were gone nearly half the night! I searched the whole island for you, but you weren't here!"
Xaphile blinked at her, hesitated, then walked over.
"I bumped into Vordt,"he mumbled, "so he took me to the main part of the city and taught me how to use true magic."
Ella wasn't listening.
Her eyes had landed on the claw marks in his sides, then rose to his wet hair.
"He attacked you again," she hissed, clenching her jaw. "That bastard hurt you."
"No, this time it was Krishna, and it wasn't even intentional," he shot back, ignoring the way her eye twitched. "She nearly lost control of herself, but reigned herself in at the last second since she didn't want to upset me the same way Sarka did."
"Are you implying that she "manhandled" you?"
"She didn't take it that far."
"But--"
"Enough," he finally snapped, pressing a hand against his forehead. "She literally just got done confessing that she wanted to be with me, Ella, and I'm still struggling with the fact that I rejected and hurt her. It's not... pleasant when someone confesses to me. It really isn't. It wasn't with you, or her."
"If it was so bad turning her down," Ella sourly muttered, "why not simply accept her feelings?"
"Because doing so when I don't love her would be cruel beyond words," he spat, making her jump and stare at him in shock. "I'd only be playing at love, and something that shallow would end up hurting her a hell of a lot more in the long run than a clean cut rejection. Plus, I can only handle getting to know you right now."
The moment he said it, the expression in her eyes shifted to something strange. Her irises gleamed under the stars, dimly illuminated yet still somehow bright.
"What are you staring at?" he snipped, not liking the flash of white teeth that made his heart jump. "Seriously, why are you smiling?"
Her expression, one of smug satisfaction, but not one he understood in context, didn't waver.
When she didn't respond, he sighed and turned to walk away from the building again, but she darted forward. He jumped when she slammed into his back, right between his wings, and wrapped her arms around him.
He could feel her body heat engulfing him like a fire's ghost.
"What," he asked in a low voice, "do you want?"
Ella didn't reply for a minute.
"Nothing," she said at last, stepping away; her eyes lingered on his own for a second longer than they needed to. "Let's go back inside. I want to treat your wounds."
"Uh... okay?"
Confused and a bit irritated, Xaphile followed her in, watching as she made her way over to the medicine box and pulled some gauze out of it. Then she came back over to him.
"Lift your arms," she commanded. "Otherwise this will be difficult."
He sighed, then raised his arms, wincing at the pain that shot through his sides.
Her hands applied the gauze as gently as possible, then she wound some bandages around his waist, spiraling quickly and efficiently. She kept them still with a wooden pin that had been placed with the rest of the first-aid supplies.
"There," she murmured, shedding her cloak with a yawn. "I'm finished."
"Thank God," he snorted, lowering his arms. "That was beginning to hurt."
With little fanfare, Ella stepped over to the only gap in the furs and lay down. There was just enough space for him to lie down between her and Vrael, who was snoring. Taking a few seconds to tightly braid back his damp hair. he carefully lay down on his stomach.
Sure enough, after he got settled in, Ella set a small, white hand on his side.
"I heard your voice," she said softly. "There was singing all throughout the night, but... at some point, I heard you. I am reluctant to admit that it was very beautiful."
"Why are you reluctant?" he snorted, turning his head and looking at her.
"Because you left without telling me, and I was mad. I'm still mad," she muttered, puffing her cheeks out a little. "Most of all, I was worried... but when I heard your voice join in with the rest of them, something happened. The other voices somehow seemed pale in comparison."
"Pale?"
"Yes, pale. They were not as vibrant, or as rich... you have a beautiful voice for a man, you know."
"I wouldn't know," he muttered, frowning a little. "I know instruments really well, and I'm decent at singing simply because I can hear music in my head and resonate with it. I hum it how I hear it inside my mind, so my voice comes out pitch perfect."
"Is that how you created that beautiful river of light and sound during the festivities?" Ella asked, making him blink. "You conjured music with magic, but... why do I never hear your voice within the magical stream? Why is it always someone else's?"
He was quiet for a moment, thinking about that.
"I know how instruments will sound in basically any situation," he eventually murmured, "but no one can really know their own voice."
Ella's brows furrowed.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it won't sound like you think it will," he sighed, then poked himself in the temple with his forefinger. "Your head creates acoustics around your eardrum, and your voice resonates in your bones and brain case when it vibrates in your throat. It gets distorted along the way, so what you hear is totally different from what others hear."
"Eh?!" Ella breathed, eyes popping open wide. "Really?"
Her expression was so incredulous that he actually let out a quiet chuckle, hand dropping back down so he could pillow it beneath his head.
"Yeah," he admitted, nodding at her. "You could probably do my true voice better than I could if you had the ability to use magic. Heck, I bet I could create your voice perfectly in a song."
She paused, and he noticed that her eyes started gleaming again.
"You know my voice?"
"Sure. Better than mine."
He didn't know what he expected her reaction to be, but what she said was not it.
"I know yours," she said softly, trailing her fingers across his skin up to his shoulder. "It's lightly accented, but very rich and deep... in a word, soothing. That's what makes it so memorable."
His cheeks got hot and he abruptly turned his head in the other direction.
"Well... thanks, I guess."
Neither of them moved.
"It's late," Ella said at last, tone brusque. "Get to bed. You need to rest."
"Alright. And, for the record, I'm sorry," he eventually mumbled. "You know, for taking off without saying anything and worrying you."
There was silence for a few more moments.
"I forgive you."
After that, the two of them went back to sleep.
It had, after all, been a long night.