Hey Guys. This post is an announcement and in order for you to understand it, I want to tell you guys my story.
My Story.
I've been having mental breakdowns since about 2015 but I never took them serious because I'm a dumbass and I'm stubborn asf. Most of the time for me it was "just stress" and to find out it is deeper than that.
September 9th 2016:
The best and the worst day ever. That day was my 17th birthday (yes I am younging) and I was excited because it was my birthday lol.
But that day I got a sick feeling that I never forget.
About a week or so later, I am at my new job with my boss (who is my aunt and my current counsellor) doing a Mastermind exercise going over the goal of the organization and such.
All of a sudden. I started to cry. Cry hard as well. From that day I cried everyday for a week straight.
Did some diagnosis and bam..... Oh you have very severe depression.
That day had to be one of the worst but not really.
During that time I cried and did different techniques and cried more and more and more.
My safe haven was wattpad. Everytime I write. I felt good. I felt happy. Seeing everyone's reactions and the votes was a great feeling. Wattpad was where I was at peace.
October to December had to be the most up and downs I have ever experienced in my life. There were days I would not go to work, would cancel meetings just because anything of the outside world would trigger me. I would zone out and overthink and become an emotional mess. It has come soo bad that I never remember my train of the thoughts before and during my meltdowns.
December 2016: The best and worst month ever. I lost my great aunt. She was sick but she was fighter but now she is at peace. I took it hard though. I can't handle loosing people.
She was always there for me and I couldn't even go to her funeral because it was in Antigua and I was in Anguilla on planned trip that I couldn't cancel.
That week of her funeral was one of the best weeks. I felt at peace and free and I actually had fun.
That same week a lost a friend. We fell out in his country and man I was an ass, he was an ass and I would never admit this to his face but I miss him 😐
Meh.
2017: New Beginnings. Well it was new beginnings for the first two weeks. Went back to work and I was postive and just feeling good.
And then shit hit again. And they ask why are relapsing? What are you thinking about?
I'm like idk. And this is where my passion for everything has dropped. I can't focus on writing,can't watch a proper game and can't do the stuff I love because I have no drive and yeah.
But being me. I'm like I got to do. So I push and I try to focus on myself but it is hard. I am a people person. I tend to put everyone infront of me.
And that is not good. But I'm trying.
This is where I am in my story. In and out of moods, trying to find myself, trying to find my passion, trying to take care of my self.
This wasn't a story of pity, this is for you to understand the following.
I will be closing this book sooner than expected. I will be cutting my requests to about 10 and those will be posted. For those who will not receive their request I apologize now. I really want to get this out of the way and start fresh.
The Group Chat Chronicles will officially start in May. The season opener is out so if you haven't checked it out as yet, it is there.
I will start a new imagine book but it will not be requests. It would just be me blessing you guys whenever I have an idea.
Eventhough I am going through a lot of shit, the one thing I am passionate about atm is my blog IslandGalTing. If you haven't checked it out it you can visit it at www.islandgalting.weebly.com. Updates are ever Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
Lastly, I want to thank you guys for this opportunity. Like I mentioned you guys are my safe haven and even though the fire isn't as strong as before, it is still there because of you guys. Special shout out to all my girlies, you know who you are. I love you guys 💜
I will try and finish this imagine for tonight 😊
I have one question though. Why them New Edition boys just sending all us crazy? Like lordt 😍
Aight I'm finished talking
One Love,
Kamilah Gumbs 💜