Three weeks Later
Beyoncé sat on her bed with her knees brought up to her chest. She had a rough night. She had recently started having nightmares and they weren't getting any better.
Shawn walked into the room from the hallway. He saw the way Beyoncé was positioned and knew she had to get her past out the way so she could fully heal.
Shawn sat in the chair near her bed.
"Beyoncé." Shawn said. "You tired of running yet?"
Beyoncé rolled her eyes and looked over at Shawn.
"Once you let it out I promise you'll feel better." He said.
Shawn was starting to feel like a broken record. He's had this same conversation with Beyoncé for two weeks and she wouldn't crack.
Shawn watched her knees relax and she sat Indian style. She took a deep breath.
"What do you wanna know?" She asked which surprised Shawn.
"Whatever you wanna tell." He said.
Beyoncé sighed.
"Rashad wasn't always who he ended up being. He was kind, loyal, compassionate, funny, loving. Everything a girl could want. We dated a year and a half before I got pregnant with Mya. We then moved in together. Everything was fine, we were good. He even asked to marry me twice but I felt we were too young and not ready. Then I ended up pregnant again with Alexis. The next time he asked to marry me I agreed with a long engagement and he was cool with that. When Alexis turned two he started to change." Beyoncé said and then looked at Shawn.
He nodded for her to continue.
"He started investing in a night club so you know how all that go. His late nights out turned into spells of not coming home at all. We'd always argue from the pettiest things to when I found out he was cheating on me. That's the day I lost it." Beyoncé said. "I dropped the girls off with my mom and I waited in the house for his ass. He came home and we went at it. That was also the first time he put his hands on me. I tried to fight back but he was a little stronger than me."
Shawn watched her wipe away tears.
"For a whole year we'd argue and fight and I stayed because I was stupid. Not stupid in the sense where I thought his hits meant love but stupid in the sense of everything being in his name. Having him take care of me, not having my own. As a woman I felt stupid."
"What made you leave?" Shawn asked.
"One night it got real bad. To the point where my daughter had to call 911. I woke up in the hospital and I knew that I didn't even care if I was broke, I had to get my kids out that house so that's what I did. I moved in with my mom and Rashad was sentenced with aggravated assault and some other charges I had nothing to do with." She said.
"When did the alcohol abuse come into play?" Shawn asked.
"All that happened during the trial. I started drinking more and more but my mom stopped me before it got too far." She said.
Shawn listened intensely.
"I was fine after that. I went back to school and got my degree, got a house, the girls were good and everything seemed to be going well after that." She said. "Until a year or so ago. I received a letter from Rashad saying how's he's changed and wanted to see the girls and how he was getting out. I didn't know what to do but his letters and phone calls kept coming. I don't even know how he got my number."
"So you reverted back to your old habits?" Shawn asked.
"Yeah and I started doing the pills probably ten months ago." She said. "I just wanted to numb everything around me. I didn't want to think of my past."
"What about the anger?"
"I've always had that. The drugs just mad it ten times worse." Beyoncé said lowly.
"Why ten times worse?" Shawn asked.
"I," Beyoncé started but took a deep breath. "I put my hands on my oldest daughter."
Shawn wasn't expecting that. The way Beyoncé spoke about her kids he wouldn't have thought she would've done that to her children.
"I'm a terrible mother and fucked them up so bad." She sobbed.
Shawn moved closer to her on the bed and held her as she sobbed. She was a broken woman who needed to be healed. Shawn just hoped he could help her as much as he could.
***
"Mya, Alexis, lets go!" Ms. Tina yelled from the front door.
The girls came down and they walked out of the door. They were on their way to see their mother. Ms. Tina brought to Beyoncé's attention that they should do some family therapy. The girls weren't acting like themselves. Alexis was really quiet now and Mya's mouth had gotten worse.
The girls stayed quiet on the ride to the rehabilitation center.
Beyoncé sat in her room reading until she heard a knock at the door. She placed her book down and got up to get it. She opened the door.
"You wear glasses?" Shawn asked.
"Sometimes." Beyoncé said. "What's up?"
"Oh, your family just got here." He said and she smiled but then her expression turned into worry. "Hey, don't worry. You'll be fine."
Beyoncé sighed.
"I know it's just gonna be emotional and I'm already drained." She said.
"I know but the ending result and yall's healing is gonna be worth it." He said.
"Can you come with me?" Beyoncé asked looking up at Shawn.
"Bey, I don't know-"
"You already know everything." She said. "Please, I could really use the support."
Shawn sighed and nodded agreeing. Beyoncé smiled and they left her room to walk to the counselor's office.
Beyoncé walked in before Shawn. Alexis, Mya, and Ms. Tina smiled as they saw Beyoncé. Alexis got up and hugged her.
"I missed you mommy." Alexis said.
"I missed you too." Beyoncé said kissing her cheek.
Mya hugged her next and then Ms. Tina. Shawn also greeted everyone.
Martin Brooks, the counselor, started the session.
After formal questions Mr. Brooks opened the floor for an open dialogue.
"Ma." Mya started and Beyoncé looked at her. "Alexis, wants to know what happened between you and Rashad. She's been asking."
Beyoncé looked at Alexis.
"Do you really want to know?" Beyoncé asked and she nodded. "Alright."
Mr. Brooks placed Alexis and Mya in front of Beyoncé.
"Don't I already know what happened?" Mya asked.
"Yes, you saw the end result but I want to explain what happened." She said.
Beyoncé looked at her mother and Shawn before taking a deep breath.
"I loved your father, I was in love with your father. Both of you were created out of love." Beyoncé started. "I'm not gonna sugar coat anything for you. When our relationship was good it was like a fairytale but when it got bad it was a nightmare. We physically fought each other a lot."
"What's a lot?" Mya asked.
"For a year." Beyoncé said. "The night that you called 911 I knew that I had to leave."
"Why not leave before or after the first time y'all fought?" Alexis asked.
"I was stupid and still in love but I also had nothing. I dropped out of college, didn't have a job because your father took care of everything so I had nothing to my name. I never thought what your father and I did was normal or okay or I deserved it or anything like that. It's just I didn't have my own anything so I had to basically start over. I started saving money to leave-"
"But it was too late?" Mya asked and Beyoncé nodded. "I remember you waking me up in the middle of the night saying we were going somewhere but then Rashad said we weren't. You were trying to leave that night?"
"Yes." Beyoncé said nodding. "I'm sorry I have to paint this picture of your dad but that's what happened."
"And now he's getting out and wants to see us." Alexis said.
"You don't have to see him if you don't want to." Beyoncé said. "It's been six years and he might have changed but it's your decision."
"I'm not sure yet." Alexis said.
"And that's okay."
"Do you still love him? Are you in love with him?" Mya asked Beyoncé.
"No, but I will always love him because of you two." She said.
"I just don't understand how he could do that to you." Mya said shaking her head. "I don't know if I can forgive him for that."
"I understand because I'm struggling a bit with that too but I know I have to let all that anger go to finally heal." Beyoncé said slightly looking back towards Shawn who nodded.
"I don't know." Mya said. "It's asking too much to see him because I still haven't forgiven him."
"Have you forgiven me?" Beyoncé asked.
Mya looked at her and bit her lip to stop her eyes from watering up. She looked down and then at her mother.
"That's different."
"How?"
"It just is!" Mya snapped. "This session isn't about me."
"Yes it is, it's about all of us." Beyoncé said. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to the both of you. I made you live in fear, I made you live with a drug addict for over a year and I'm sorry for everything I've done. I'm sorry for every argument, every night I shut y'all out, every night you had to babysit me, I'm sorry."
Alexis sat as tears rolled down her eyes and Mya refused to let her's fall by looking everywhere else but her mother.
"I forgive you mommy." Alexis said wiping her eyes.
"Thank you baby." Beyoncé said as Alexis got up and hugged her.
Shawn passed Beyoncé, Alexis, and Ms. Tina some tissue.
Alexis went to sit by her grandmother.
"Mya." Beyoncé said. "Please look at me."
"Why?"
"Baby, you can't keep all that in. You gotta let it out." Beyoncé said.
Mya continued to look else where. Beyoncé got up and squatted in front of her.
"Ma, please."
"Baby, I'm right here." Beyoncé said. "I'll never lock my door on you again. I will never hurt you again, I promise."
Mya's breathing started to regulate and she looked at her mom.
"You promise?" Mya asked hoping this would be the last time this promise would be made. It's been broken too many times before.
"I promise."
Shawn watched Mya breakdown in her mothers arm. Shawn had been waiting for her breakdown. He knew it would come the first time he met her. Her outspokenness being a mask for her damage. Shawn was glad it was happening for her as well as Beyoncé. This was a new start for all of them.
😪Uhm, comment & vote pls. This was a bit short so I might update again later, idk though. So like yeah, comment.