The darkness that I was falling into seemed never-ending. I wondered if this was what purgatory was like—a dark room filled with nothingness that would certainly drive any person mad. Maybe my soul had some unfinished business and my conscious would simply loom in this obscurity until that business was done. But the only unfinished business that came to mind was not having loved Elric enough, not having spent enough time with the kind disbeliever that brought me back from the edge of despair.
I struggled to open my eyes. I could hear muffled sounds all around me but I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't push the air out of my lungs to form words, to let whoever was out there know that I was in here.
Stuck.
A piercing pain persisted in my chest, and it felt as though someone had taken a soldering iron to my heart, melting away the flesh and bone and sinew until nothing remained. I certainly was dying—this, this certainly had to be what death felt like. And yet, there was a part of me that welcomed it. Thoughts of seeing my mother again flooded my mind and though I couldn't see my tears from the depth of the darkness, I felt their warm, salty presence on my cheek. A heaviness loomed over me and my thoughts drifted away.
v
When my consciousness found me again, the darkness seemed to be split in two by a penetrating bright light. I focused on that light—praying, hoping that it would lead me somewhere, anywhere besides this darkness.
At first, it was only a small halo of light, but it slowly expanded, giving way to a particular shape. I blinked, not moving my head, and tried to focus on that light, on the spaces around it. I could tell I was lying on a bed, but other than that I had no idea where I was—or when I was. Had I fallen through the portal?
A blurry figure moved into my line of sight, and I blink feverishly to make the image come into focus. A wave of relief washed over me as I saw Elric's worried face lean over. I winced as I leaned up to kiss him.
"I'm so sorry," he said, the look of despair still present on his face.
"For what?" I breathed, albeit a little raggedly.
"For—for this," he waved his hand at my body. "For exposing you to...to him."
"What happened?" I asked, propping myself up on a pillow against the headboard. I was back in Elric's room, and as far as I could tell, I didn't have any overtly obvious wounds—at least none that looked life threatening.
"I slit Leo's leg and he fell into the portal. It closed right after he fell."
"But," I gasped for air as I felt my throat close. "But he might still be alive. A-A-And in the future. With my family." I stared at a spot on the covers as my words sank in.
"There's no way he could have lived through that type of blow," Elric said, clasping my hand in his. "I've told you, it's fatal to Revenants."
The confidence in his tone should have given me relief, but the thought of that vile man in Blackstone made a chill run up my spine. I managed a half-hearted smile for Elric and said, "What happened to me? I-I blacked out."
"Your pendant saved you from the blow of his staff. His magic bounced off you and hit him, throwing him back into the portal. You should consider yourself very lucky," he said, looking solemn. "I've seen him destroy Mystics with that staff by barely placing it on the ground."
"I don't think luck had anything to do with it," I replied, clasping the pendant in my hand and pulling it back and forth on the chain. "On the day my mother gave it to me, she told me to never take it off—that it would protect me, allow me to see the evil in people when others could not. But she also said it would help me see the good in people too. I just thought it was another one of the silly antics she used to pull, like that time she told me Hitler had escaped to Argentina."
"Who's Hitler?" Elric queried.
An unpleasant thought came to my mind and I said, "You'll find out soon enough."
"Why did you go there alone? To the compass rose?" he asked, seeing my distracted look.
I fidgeted with the sleeve of my gown. "When you told me last night that you were considering," I hesitated for a moment so that my emotions would not give me away. "That you were considering trying to talk with Constant Thurgood, I knew I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't risk you going into the village only to be killed. So I went...in your place." Elric's lips formed into a hard line. "I knew that if I could reason with him, if I could make him understand how wonderful you are—how wonderful you all are—that maybe he would stop the attacks. But when I got to the village, he wasn't there. Only his goons were."
I looked away from Elric, not wanting him to see the information I withheld from him, the information I learned during my visit to Constant's house—that he had not yet created the ancestry line that would keep me alive. There was no need to divulge that information now—now that Leo was the one behind all the horrific happenings.
"I figured if he wasn't there, he must be at the compass rose because of what I read in the journal. It made sense that the portal only opened on All Hallow's Eve, and at that point, I knew I had to stop him—kill him, if necessary, but I had to stop him because I believed that the things he saw when he went through the portal is what made him come back and massacre the immortals. Of course, now I realize that it was Leo that helped him do so."
"You would risk your life and that of your family for us?" Elric said, incredulously.
"Of course," I said without hesitation. "There is no greater honor I can think of than taking your place or that of Nikolai's or that of Jasmine's in death. Allowing your lives to cease would be the greatest tragedy I could ever know."
He puts his hands around my face and pulled me forward, pressing his lips to mine. There was an urgency to his kiss, a desperation that I knew all too well, and I nearly came undone when I opened my mouth to allow him access to my tongue and his warm breath touched my lips. The sweet smell of lavender filled my mouth and I wrapped my arms around his neck. After a moment, Elric pulled away from me.
"I was almost too late. I could have been too late," he said, shaking his head and placing it into his hands.
I put my hand on his shoulder and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "But you weren't," I assured. "How did you know where I was?"
"I woke up to find you gone," he said. "I-I thought you decided to go home, that you had figured out that the portal only opens on All Hallow's Eve."
"You knew?"
"Turin told me before he passed about the ancient magic, and I-I was going to tell you, I promise," his eyes were repentant, contrite almost. "I just wanted more time, just a little more time with you."
"If you thought I wanted to go home, why were you at the compass rose?" I asked after a few moments of silence. I wasn't mad that he hadn't told me about the portal. It was actually endearing that he hadn't wanted me to go.
"I came to try to convince you," he said. The strong warrior I knew seemed beaten, as if he was dealing with some invisible force that trodden him down. "To convince you to stay—to love me—to choose...," his words trailed off to little more than a whisper. "To choose me. I can't bear to spend an eternity without you, but say the word, and I'll take you back right now. I'll open the portal myself. Your happiness means everything to me, and if being here with me doesn't make you happy—if being in this time doesn't make you happy, then I will do whatever it takes to bring that lovely smile to your face. Even if that means losing you." He grabbed my chin so that I was forced to look at him. "I would wait an eternity for you, Abigail." My name rolled off his lips with such hope, such promise that it brought a tear to my eye. "So if you need to go—if you need to be with your family, I will find you. In this life or the next. I-I love you."
He dropped my chin as he said those final words, but I held his gaze. Without doubt, without hesitation, I looked at him and said, "It seems as though I have waited an eternity for you, Elric. King of the Mystics, prince of darkness, and stealer of my heart. My home is where you are, and if you'll have me, I'll never leave your side. I never want my heart to be hollow again."
He smiled, a deep, warm smile that illuminated his eyes. Then he reached a hand behind his back and presented a small white box. A small amount of panic set in as I stared at the little white box. Surely, he didn't want to—No, he couldn't want to marry me? It's too soon, we're—I'm so young.
"It's from Turin," Elric said, reading the anxiety on my face. "He gave it to me on the night I was made, but told me I couldn't open it until after his death. He said only then would I stop being foolish and listened to what was in my heart." Confused, I took the box and opened it. Inside was a beautiful heart-shaped locket. "Apparently, he knew that we were mates long before the Seer did." Elric smiled.
I opened the locket and engraved on one side was Elric's name, on the other, mine. I smiled with a tear in my eye and leaned forward, kissing him. "I love you," I said through the kisses.
"I love you more," he replied, defiantly. It was the first time he had said those words to me, and the joy of them made me smile, truly smile.
"You know, not everything is a competition," I said, running my hand through his hair, messing it up.
"Isn't it, though?" he grinned.
A boisterous knock at the door interrupted our playfulness, and I smiled as I saw Nikolai walk in.
"Well you look as ugly as when I left you," he said jokingly as he sauntered over to the bed.
"Coming from a dog, I'd say that's a compliment," I teased back.
Nikolai turned to Elric and said, "The borders are secure. There's still no sign of Constant or his men."
"It wasn't them," I shouted out, much louder than I had intended. "It wasn't entirely them." Elric and Nikolai gave me a confused look so I continued. "Leo was behind the massacre. He and Raban—"
"Raban?" Elric's words were pushed out through gritted teeth. He shot a knowing look to Nikolai.
"Yes, when Leo made Raban, he hadn't been a slave at all. He was whipped because he had murdered his father out of a fit of rage. Leo was a Blackheart and so was Raban—not a very good one according to your uncle, but one nonetheless. Apparently Leo had been able to hide their decaying flesh with his magic. I think that's part of the reason he wouldn't let me work on him when they came back from the massacre. Maybe he was afraid I'd see something."
"But what about Raban's death?" Elric asked. "Weren't the humans responsible for that?"
"No," I said. "That was all Leo. I knew something was fishy about the whole situation because the arrows didn't match."
"What do you mean?" Nikolai chimed in.
"Do you remember the arrow I pulled out of the Peryton?" Elric nodded. "It had Death's head on it with wings behind a skull. But the arrow I pulled out of Raban didn't. It had crossed bones behind the skull—a subtle difference but one that I noticed. Raban had been trying to tell me something that day. I believe he was trying to tell me what they had done, but Leo released a band of Blackhearts and they were the ones that killed him. Apparently, I was supposed to be a target as well, but Moose stepped in."
"That traitor!" The venom spewed from Nikolai's mouth.
"There's more," I said, touching Elric's hand. "He released the Blackheart that tried to kill me in the courtyard and..." I hesitated, not wanting to add to Elric's pain, but knowing that he needed—deserved to know the truth. "He killed Thane and Turin."
Elric quickly withdrew his hand at my proclamation. In half of a second, his form had been replaced by a bear's and he sprinted towards the door, colliding with it as he ripped it off the hinges. I heard a few of the scullery maids shriek as he made his way down the hall, knocking over vases and furniture as he went.
Nikolai looked back at me and said, "He'll be fine." He said it in the way he always did when things were too serious for his liking, that playful front he put up to hide his real emotions. I'd only ever seen him drop the facade once—the day of Raban's funeral. They had been pals, him and Raban. Warriors on the battlefield during the worst of times, and brothers in arms during the best of them. And he had betrayed them. I smiled at Nikolai, a knowing smile for the pain he hid so well. "You're the bravest girl I've ever met," he said, meeting my gaze. "I know what you did for us—what you were willing to do for us, and I just want you to know that I'm honored to call you my friend."
"Well I'm honored to be yours," I said, giving his hand, which was holding the weight of his body up, a pat before resting mine on top of his.
He looked at me with an unreadable glance and said, "I better go check on Elric. He's probably scared half the children in the village by now." As if on cue, a loud guttural growl echoed in from the balcony. From the sound of it, Elric was in the meadow by now. I smiled as I removed my hand and nodded.
v
Elric spent most of the night out in the darkness, growling at the moon. A wolf's howl joined him halfway through and I felt comforted that at least he was not alone in his grief. I was still sore from my rendezvous with destiny so I stayed in bed, where it was comfortable and warm, only waking occasionally to the sounds of pain and despair. My heart broke for them.
In the final hours of moonlight, just before the dawn, Elric came limping into our room.
"What happened to you?" I said, sizing up his wounds.
"Blowing off steam and such," he smirked. I rolled my eyes at him. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," I said, scooting over to make room for him on the bed.
He eyed me curiously and leaned forward, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Are you really?" he asked seriously.
"Yes, I promise. I'm fine."
"It's just...," he hesitated as if simply speaking the words might bring them to life. "I hate that I put you in this position, that you're hurt because someone wanted to hurt me. It should have never happened—it WON'T happen again."
I placed my hand over his, the corner of my mouth turning up in a half smile. "It'll be okay," I said. "We'll get through this."
"I know," he replied, giving me another kiss on my head before sauntering off towards the bathroom.
When he emerged a half hour later, I watched his naked body cross the room from one end to the other. The water glistened in the sunlight that had just begun to peek through the curtains. An involuntary groan escaped my mouth from deep within.
He slowly pulled back the sheet and climbed into the bed next to me. He laid on his side, staring at me as he gently glided his fingers over my skin. I leaned in to kiss him, that ache between my legs building, but after a moment he pushed me back.
"You're hurt," he said. It was a question more than a statement, a litmus test to see where my feelings stood on the matter. I would have thought they were evident.
"I'm fine," I said, leaning in to kiss him again.
My affirmation was all he needed. He flipped me over on my back, straddling me as he lifted my arms over my head, holding them tightly with one hand as the other lifted my white night gown that had delicate purple flowers lining the top. He spread my legs apart with his and pressed himself against me. I shuddered with pure pleasure at the hardness.
His mouth crushed into mine, and in that moment, when his tongue caressed mine, I knew that I was exactly where I wanted to be—needed to be. He released my hands and slowly pulled the night gown up and over my head. When I could see his face again, he was staring at me with a look of awe on his face.
"You're beautiful, not just on the outside. Everyone can see that. But your beauty is so much more than that, and I'm not sure who I need to thank for making you my mate but I'd bow down before the devil, himself, for such a gift."
He leaned in again, and this time, kissed me with such gentleness that I was caught off guard when he entered me. I gasped out loud. His rhythmic thrust that I had been too deprived of, slowly but methodically made my body sing. His pace never wavered as he pulled in and out of me. My back arched as his hands trailed every inch, owning, possessing me.
I tilted my head back, exposing my neck to him, offering myself to him...in every way. His hand grabbed my chin, pulling it down so that I was forced to look at him.
"Are you sure?" he said. "You don't have to do this. My heart and mind haven't always been filled with pleasant feelings."
"I'm sure," I said, placing my hands on either side of his face. "I want all of you, and I want you to have all of me."
His arms wrapped around me, instinctively, at my words—some ancient possessive reaction to my offering. He slid his length back inside me, and with one hand holding our weight up, the other firmly pressed against my back, he titled me, exposing my neck again.
His mouth was warm and he placed small kisses from my shoulder to my jaw, hesitating over the middle where I could feel my heartbeat pounding through the artery there. Though it was warm in the room from the magic, my body was covered in chills from his touch. He opened his mouth and I held my breath as his teeth bared and pierced my skin like a hot knife through butter.
The sensation was intoxicating—somewhere between pleasure and pain, seemingly never-ending and undoubtedly something I didn't want to stop. Time slowed and I could have sworn I heard the space between seconds—the miniscule intervals that are never more than a fleeting thought. It was as if I was seeing things through his eyes like an old movie playing out on a wall in the basement. The past, the present, the future were all there, and I could see it vividly as he continued to slide in and out, never releasing me from his bite. Such pain resided in his heart that seeing it for the first time—really seeing it—involuntarily made a tear escape from eye. But that pain, that brutal pain was overtaken by a warm sensation of love, and as the movie reel faded into the next scene, I saw myself...chained to a pole in his bedroom. The very first night we met. I watched through his eyes as I said my name, and as if Zeus, himself, had struck me with lightning, a jolt of energy shot through my body.
It was heaven and hell all at once. The years of torture, of being away from me, howling at the moon every night, waiting for me—those desperate thoughts slammed into me like a freight train, but they were followed by the relief of knowing my face. A face, which at first, looked upon him with disgust. I tried to push past that memory and found myself full of rage as I—Elric killed that Blackheart in the courtyard. He'd carried me back with such gentleness and watched over me as I lay on his bed. The next clip showed us in the meadow, at Magda's, the first time we made love, and the first time he said my name on his lips. I could feel the heaviness drift off him as he exhaled my name—like it was a prayer he had been holding inside for what seemed like an eternity. My heart melted all over again.
The pain of the bite brought me out of my reverie or rather Elric's reverie, but that pain was nothing compared to the ecstasy I felt. My body writhed underneath his as he continued to pleasure me, unceasingly bringing me to the edge of my release then allowing me to slip back, again and again and again.
He growled, and it was the most feral sound I'd ever heard, as he found his release. Hearing that noise, I found mine as well and he gently, with heartbreaking ease, freed me from his bite. Exhausted, he rolled off of me and onto his side, staring at me.
"Are you all right? It wasn't too painful, was it?" he asked, cautiously.
"It was...wonderful," I said, smiling a big smile even through my exhaustion. My smile faded as the sadness of the pain I felt came back to me. "I didn't know...I'm sorry...for everything—for everything you've been through."
He pulled my face towards him and kissed me gently on the lips. "I'd go through it all again as long as this was the end result."
That morning we made love two more times. He never talked about what he saw through my eyes from the bond we now shared, but I imagined it was much like it was for him—mounds of pain he'd rather not speak of, followed by the joy of finding each other.
A heavier set of curtains flowing from the ceiling appeared at the flick of Elric's finger, and it blocked out the bright light coming in from the morning sun. My heart was full as I drifted off to sleep.
Whether it was the near-death experience I had just had or the magic that I could feel winding through my veins as Elric bit me, my dreams were filled with enchantments. I found myself in the meadow standing next to the Tree of Life with my mother. She looked exactly as she had the last day I saw her with beautiful dark brown hair and that wonderful smile she always had plastered on her face. One Feather was on her shoulder and I smiled, knowing that wherever she was, she would take care of my dear, dear friend. I got the feeling, the strong sensation, that she was trying to tell me something, but as her mouth opened, no words formed. I ran to her, as fast as anyone in a dream can run—my legs heavy and slow. But as I approached King Turin appeared, wrapping her in his arms.
He looked at me and said, "An open mind will allow an open heart to follow. Do not be afraid of your past, sweet child, for it has laid the stones on the path to your future. But be leery of the sun, the darkest days have yet to come." They vanished as I reached them.