[amber's pov]
I hadn't even realized how much I needed to hear that. To have someone tell me I had made it, that I had been overcoming all of it and made it out alive. I watched how Harry took a deep breath, as if doing it for me. As if he knew exactly how it felt, then he pushed his hair back and started twisting the ring around again, as his words suddenly came floating from him.
Still in that calm steady tone; "if you ever need someone to... you know talk or like whatever. Yeah just know that I'm all ears. Whenever, wherever yeah. Just so you know. Even if it's just that you want to talk with someone about how you burnt your coffee which totally sucked one morning or like if you want to discuss the meaning behind Plato's philosophy or well if you feel like swearing over the cold weather and you need someone to agree with you! Just. Yeah." He sent me a little smile over the ramblings of his, which was very unlike him. Usually he was more collected and direct in his talking and I realized he was nervous about telling me this.
I grinned at the realization as I now saw the clear signs of that puzzling nervosity. I had never seen him real nervous before like that, the way his eyes kept escaping mine to his hands and he moved in his seat constantly.
"Yeah. Ehm so your next question?" His jade green eyes pierced into mine eager to change the topic, but still curious as to what that past topic contained of secrets. I could read it in his beautiful eyes. He just didn't want to pressure me. For that I was beyond grateful.
"What makes you nervous?" I fired back at him practically stating the words as I thought of them for the first time. I watched the reaction they withdrew - him smiling widely and playfully. He moved in the seat again unable to sit in the same position for too long it seemed. Instead he put his arm on the backrest of the sofa and tilted his head into resting in the palm of his big tanned hand.
"It used to be the future actually, but not any longer really. I guess maybe well not much actually? The only thing is I don't... I don't want to be like ...," his eyes escaped mine to his ring again, as he continued in a mumble, "I don't want to be like my father."
I waited for him to continue, as we both watched how the light reflecting in his silver ring was beyond stunning. After a while I was just about to say something, as he seemed completely lost in thoughts I could never get to know - but his lips parted first; "he was - and still is - kind of good at manipulating people. Like for instance he could probably easily pressure you into telling about whatever you don't feel like sharing. He just got ... like he got the words in his power. He could always get me to admit things - or like figure them out himself just by asking some provoking questions, which would get me all worked up you know?"
He seemed breathless as the stream of wild words had suddenly started floating from him in a powerful wave. His eyes were burning with certainty, as he looked directly at me with his features carved in stone and his chest moving up and down.
"I don't want to be like that. I don't want to... force others into doing something I merely want them to - by making them believe it's what they wish. I'm not doing that right? That's just. That's just wrong."
I watched as he took a deep breath and shook his head, so his curls fell into his face. He swept them away and suddenly seemed restless as he looked back at me and stated with a confused gaze over what he just had bluntly told me, "do you want a cup of tea or something?"
I couldn't honestly say I had expected that after finally having him opening up a little to me - just cutting it off like that just as quickly. But maybe it wasn't the right time to tell everything. That would probably take more than 20 minutes. Without saying much I rose from the sofa with his bewildered eyes resting on me, following my actions, as I took a step and stood before him. He looked up at me through his dark eyelashes and I could see how his breathing was still heavy - telling me how much this issue with his father was still troubling him.
I lifted my hand carefully and firstly let the tip of my finger softly play with one of the brown curly strands of hair. I watched how I let my hand carefully move to the side of his face just beneath the hairline and over his cheekbone down to his jaw. It was fascinating how his breath steadied and calmed under my touch, as his eyes rested on me.
"Firstly you're not manipulating anybody. Well not me at least. Actually quite the opposite - you're a little confusing at times," I grinned at him softly gathering courage to continue. "And if you ever need to discuss Plato's philosophy or talk about something else with anyone - you can always talk to me," I whispered the words and with a careful smile continued, "I might not know all that much about Plato - or what is troubling you and other things like that, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't do everything to help you still. Yeah, I just want you to know that. And.." I kept talking practically not able to stop again now. Finally. Finally I was telling him, finally I had been able to tell him I wanted to be there for him. Maybe it was his own bravery and openness towards me, that had given me that last push I needed. Whatever it had been I was just grateful I was finally telling him.
[harry's pov]
Her fingertip barely even touching the skin on my jaw was still sending electric sparks through my chest and heart, as she kept on with her stream of words; "yeah I just want you to know that. And like you can always just call or whatever - like I know you don't have my number right now or if you even want it but like. I'm not making any sense am I? Well it's just you're totally worth it and ehm yes if you ever have to talk about anything or just want to do something else than talking. Like watching a movie or yeah ehm..." I couldn't stop smiling at her endless stream of thoughts, which she clearly just spoke out loud.
Her words. Her smile. Her voice. Her touch. Her eyes. Her warmth. Her. She made my heartbeat quicken.
I watched her as she still merely observed how she was tracing invisible tiny patterns over my jaw line with her fingertip. While her lips moved quickly over and over ensuring me of something I was just starting to comprehend. That she really cared for me. I could feel the tingling line she left behind with her line tracing. I didn't want to move out of place, but on the other hand I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her in a protecting way and have her body close to mine.
With a shift movement that clearly surprised her I rose from the sofa in one breath and cupped her face with my hands in the next before silencing her endless stream of words. All of those words and beautiful sentences coming from her amazing heart, which I couldn't quite understand were aimed at me. And before she even realized what I was doing, I had silenced her as I pressed my mouth against hers.
I kissed the corner of her soft lips and could feel her hot breath against me. I smiled as I felt how she moved her arms around my neck and tiptoed to get closer after having realised my rapid act. I could feel the sleeves of my sweater which she was wearing - against the skin on my neck. She smiled into the kiss as well, before parting her lips slightly and pulling me closer.
There was gasoline in my veins and she was that one spark which set everything on fire. The feeling of her pulling me closer was even better than hearing her words just seconds before. And it wasn't like kissing any of the other girls - this was different because she was my spark and she was brighter. She was genuine and she cared for me in ways no other girl I had ever kissed had before. I didn't want to kiss her only because her lips were so tempting or the taste and feeling so euphoric like most kisses would be. No, I wanted to kiss her so, so badly because I didn't know how else I could show her I cared for her so much too.
I deepened the kiss and felt her soft hot skin under the palms of my hands and I forgot all about everything else. All I knew was that every smile, touch and word coming from her - made me more and more insane with craving fire. That familiar scent of lavender which I already was starting to connect with her filled my lungs and made my head spin, as her lips moved in sync with mine. This had to be what losing your sanity felt like. Losing yourself to someone else. She actually cared for me.
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a/n: it was so so damn difficult writing this chapter :c i hope it turned out okay nevertheless *gah* and just a few things;
1. I read every single comment. I just don't have time to answer them all :c but like urgh. You guys make my day with your stunning words truly.Every single one of you x
2. If I make the chapters longer it'll take longer for me to update - and since I like to update frequentely then I have to keep the chapters this length in order to have the time to do so - I'm so sorry guys but yeah. that's that.
3. I made a book with like advice and tips on writing ^^ it's called 'detail' and if you want to you can check it out ^^