the journal - h.s.

20

[harry's pov]

It was just Jenny. I let out a sigh and relaxed again just a little annoyed over the unwarranted shock that was still present in my body. The girl beside me on the bed had moved her head so rapidly that I knew she too had not in any way expected this. Expected the door concealing our little moment to fly wide open and let it escape. It was probably only me who had felt its uniqueness - but there had been something special about the encounter between two strangers here in my room. Maybe even something magical. As if some unknown God had breathed into the room filling it with the sense of living a briefly surreal existence. As if what had just passed between us had been spoken with a wordless language. As if she somehow understood...

"Amber?"

That one word escaped Jenny's mouth which now contained a growing smirk. Her voice sounded a little vague, but yet held a great deal of surprise and ton of amusement.

Amber. Amber. Amber.

I wanted to smile at the sound. Amber. I could see so clearly the beautiful color and pattern of the amber rock, how the fossilized resin would be filled with trails from the ages long process. Amber. I had always liked that gemstone. When he would present to me the diamonds he had bought for his new lovers, or the sapphire necklace, or the rubin earrings I would always nod seeming impressed and pretend to be in awe over the actually sickly beauty. That he would spend so much on a simple pretty rock merely because the world had marked it as a symbol of wealth. Because it was good at reflecting light. I could practically hear their shrieking high pitched voices echoing through that horrible house again; see how it shines! Oh it's so beautiful! Stupid blonde bimbos, whom he had picked up at those fancy gentlemen club bars - diamonds didn't shine. They reflected light.

Maybe it was because I simply had decided to dislike everything he did like. Grow a liking for everything that was opposite of his taste. Whatever the reason I found that more neutral and less flamboyant jewellery such as moonstones and amber rocks held much greater beauty than simply 'glittering' rocks, as they would say incorrectly.

Amber had warmth. Had depth. Had a history.

And for those same exact reasons I couldn't help but smile just the tiniest bit at the puzzling resemblance. I felt like writing it down. Noting it so I would never forget it. Forget how she of course would be named Amber. Because of her chestnut brown hair that would have that claret-colored flicker, when the light hit her rightly. How her features were comforting, simple, beautiful and they held such a human warmth that I hadn't been able to take my eyes off her the first time I had seen her. Even though she had clearly been tired and annoyed - annoyed with me, she had still held that spark. That lively sign. The very same trail which had muted me when I had caught her with my journal. How could you possibly yell at something so pure and enthrallingly beautiful?

Of course her name was Amber.



[amber's pov]

Not he nor I answered Jenny as she had asked my name in a disbelieving and teasing tone.

"Styles what the actual fuck - I thought but you said you would go to sleep."

I couldn't help smiling lightly at her slurred speech, which I knew not to be very grammatically correct. It merely reflected her clearly drunken state.

"But then you go and fucking make out with my girl - she's really good at ehm latte art. Dude don't mess with her. She makes the best hearts. Holy shit I'm so fucking wasted." Jenny pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes tightly closed, as she steadied herself against the door.

I wasn't really one to react when someone misread situations and indicated something had 'happened' - I knew someone would probably blush at the mere thought, but since both Harry and I knew the past ... how long time had even passed? had been much more intimate on a completely other level. None of us reacted embarrassed to this. Or at least that was what I had felt. Once again I had the urge to read his mind. So badly. Had he only been wishing me far gone, when he had been lying there on the mattress with his eyes closed? Had he just prayed I would get the hell out - but been too polite to tell me so?

Sadness washed in over me at the mere thought, as I reminded myself I was him still merely a stranger.

I could see from the corner of my eye that he was trying to fight a smile himself. The little insignificant and innocent move somehow helped me dull my slight distress, which was probably intensified by the alcohol. Seeing him smile - or at least trying to fight it, hold it back - sent a thrill down my spine and the small change in his features was so contagious I even turned my head a little and replied his smile with a similar one. I didn't care what had made him smile - it was the fact that he was, the fact that he had completely lit up, which gave me a bubbling sensational feeling on the inside. He should be smiling all of the time. Every hour of every day. He should feel that need to fight in order to keep that smile contained all of the time. He was ought to be happy.

I could see how he cared for Jenny. How she had managed to make him smile with her mere arrival in the state of drunkenness and I started to understand how these two could be roommates. I could see it in the way his eyes had brightened.

"Anyway turtledoves. Perrie is in da street for waiting... I mean picking over Zayn... up." With that she started giggling covering her mouth with one hand. How much had she been drinking?

"What I'm trying to say is; Perrie can give you a car... along with Zayn." Her voice was serious until her eyebrows frowned and she thought her words over, "that didn't come out right. Did it? Fuck." I was smiling widely at her wondering tone, as she tried forming a reasonable sentence, and as I watched her shake her head while smiling a noise was heard from beside me.

The most... cute sound I could possibly imagine. Stunned I turned to face Harry who was... who was giggling! His beam was huge and displayed a pair of dimples, his eyes were slightly narrowed from the cheerful grin and he was half hiding his face behind his one hand, while looking out between the fingers at Jenny. Clearly facepalming over his roommate. The sound was low and so gentle my heart skipped a beat as my own smile grew wider and wider. A fluttering, tickling reflex started in my stomach at the sight, as his green eyes met mine. Amusement shining from them, as he couldn't hold back the smile any longer and flashed his adorable grin at me showing of his perfect white teeth. And the sound escaping his lips came from some place deep within. The same place in which I was pretty sure he kept those beautiful words locked in.

If a sunny joyful summer day with blue sky, the scent of colorful flowers in the air and the feeling of being free and warm could be made into a sound - then it would sound just like this. Damn it if world peace, hugs and the freaking love for your childhood teddy could be transformed into a sound it would sound like this. Most likely. As the soft innocent chuckles, which slipped uncontrollably from the boy with the green eyes, who was beaming back at me at this very moment. A smile I had longed to see ever since I had first laid my eyes on him. He was perfect.



[i'm sorry this chapter was kinda boring >.< ]

a/n: so I'm curious.. what do you guys think will happen later on in this story? And what have been your fav part(s) so far? :) + you can see a pic of Amber in the sidebar ^^ loads of love & merry Christmas ! xx