Lacey
When I came around, I felt disorientated. My throat was dry, and I tried to swallow. My head was pounding.
"Thank god! How are you feeling?" my brother asked.
I opened my eyes slowly. My brother kneeled beside me and my mom stood next to him. She looked like she'd been crying. I was lying on the sofa in the living room. What had happened?
My head was pounding. It felt like I had an army marching through my head. I groaned slightly, trying to shift slowly, but any movement seemed to increase the pounding in my head.
"We were so worried." My mom's eyes glistened with tears. I looked to brother, who gave me a relieved smile.
"You scared the shit out of us." The tension was laced in his voice.
I was still trying to figure out what happened before. I remembered talking to him. Then the tingling in my arm and then the dizziness. The last thing I could remember was my blurred vision and being unable to move my body.
I looked down to my hand as I wiggled my fingers and felt relief flood through me. I could move my hands. Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt a warm hand cover mine and I looked up to my brother as the first tear slid down my face.
"It's okay." He tightened his hand over mine. I tried to swallow the emotion that was trying to break free, so I nodded. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't. "The ambulance is on its way."
I nodded as another tear slid down my face. He brushed the tears away as he held my hand.
When the sirens of an ambulance drew closer, my brother released my hand as he stood.
"I'll go get them," my brother said before he left, leaving me alone with my mother.
"It's okay, baby. Everything will be okay." My mom kneeled beside me. She kissed my forehead gently, and I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment.
Moms were special people that could soothe even the deepest wounds. As I child, when I scrapped my knee or hurt myself, my mother was the one who I sought for to kiss it better. But this time a simple kiss wouldn't heal me now.
Minutes later, my brother rushed back into the room with paramedics right behind him.
Alex gave them a brief rundown of what had happened.
My mother shifted to allow the paramedics better access to me.
"I'm Ian." The one paramedic introduced as he surveyed me. He had a kind face as he smiled.
"Lacey," I said.
"Can you remember what happened?" He took some stuff out of his paramedic bag.
"My vision blurred and... I felt dizzy," I said, trying not to panic at the memories of not be able to control my body.
"Okay." He checked my blood pressure. "Have you been ill recently?"
"She has a tumor," my brother said.
The paramedic stopped momentarily as he reformulated his questioning to consider my
condition.
"Is your head sore?" He took my blood pressure.
"Yes," I said. "It feels like I'm getting a migraine."
He then looked to his partner, and his partner nodded.
"We are going to take you in," Ian said. While I could still feel my heart beating faster than usual from the panic, he seemed so calm.
As they got me on the gurney and wheeled me out of the house, I heard the paramedic pull my brother aside.
"Call the specialist and let him know she's being admitted," he told my brother. And he told him which hospital they were taking me to.
A crowd had already gathered outside my house. I glanced at the crowd to see Adonis push through. He looked around frantically as he took in the scene. I swallowed hard when I saw the look in his eyes when his eyes landed on me being wheeled to the ambulance by the paramedics. He shot forward and ran towards me.
"What happened?" He was breathing hard when he got to me. He took my hand into his. I felt my heart inflate at the slight gesture.
"I collapsed," I said, trying to keep my emotions from bubbling to the surface in full view of everyone from the neighborhood who was watching us with interest.
"We're taking her to hospital to run some tests," Ian told him as they adjusted the gurney to wheel it into the ambulance.
Adonis released my hand and took a step back. I held his gaze as the paramedics wheeled me into the ambulance the slight jolt made my head ache even more. I closed my eyes for a moment and I groaned.
"This injection is for pain." He took a syringe out and filled it with some clear liquid.
I nodded, and he injected the liquid into my arm, I winced at the slight prick. Adonis who was standing outside the ambulance watching me. His bright eyes looked at me with the fear that we'd all been harboring from the time they had diagnosed me with the tumor.
"Are you in or out?" Ian asked Adonis when he wanted to close the doors to the ambulance.
There was no hesitation. "I'm in." He scrambled into the ambulance and sat beside me.
Those words meant more than just about getting into the ambulance.
I saw a glimpse of my brother and my mom getting into my mom's car before the door of the ambulance closed.
Adonis took my hand into his and pressed it against his lips. My eyes found his.
There was a vastness between us created by the circumstances of my illness. Now that there was no time left, did the things that pulled us apart matter anymore? Even pushing him away now wouldn't ease his suffering if I didn't survive the surgery.
His fingers brushed my cheek as he stared down at me. I felt emotion clog my throat when I took the look in his eyes. He looked at me like I was the most precious thing in the world to him.
"I love you," he said as he squeezed my hand in his.
"I love you too," I breathed back. I had never stopped loving him. Just because I made a choice he couldn't understand or agree with didn't make me love him any less.
He pressed his lips gently to mine.
"Hey no making out in my ambulance," Ian said.
Adonis shot him a glare, but I smiled at his attempt to lighten the emotional scene.
When we got to the hospital, they admitted me to a private room. The specialist was on his way. My mom went back home to get some clothes and toiletries for me.
I would have okay with the general ward with other people around, but Adonis insisted. His reasoning was he would get recognized, at least if we were in a private room he would be safer from fans. But I knew he wanted to make sure I had the best.
I lay in the hospital bed. Adonis stood beside me and held my hand. From the time he'd gotten into the ambulance with me, he'd stayed with me while the doctor's had initially checked me out before admitting me. Alex had gone to get something to drink. That was his reason anyway, but I believed he wanted to give Adonis and I time alone to talk.
"You could have gone with him," I said to Adonis, who was holding my hand. His eyes lifted to mine. There was a deep look in his eyes that spoke volumes.
"I'm never leaving you again," he vowed. He was referring to the party when he'd chosen to walk away. Even though it had hurt, at least I had understood why he had made the choice.
Saying I was sorry just didn't seem right. I didn't regret my decision to have more time. There was no way for any of us to know that I wouldn't have had weeks. I didn't expect him to say sorry for not being able to accept my decision to delay the surgery. Hurting him hadn't been the intention at all.
"When I saw the ambulance..." He stopped to let out a deep emotional breath. "I thought the worst."
I held his hand tighter, I couldn't shake the fear I had felt when I could not move my body.
"You're all the matters," he said, his eyes glistening as they caressed my face. "Whether it's a few days or lifetime, I want it all."