Author's Note:
Hey little perfect fighters :D
im so glad youre alive and breathing rn. It might seem odd, but its the truth. I just wanted to thank all of you guys, every individual. You're time used on reading my chapters mean a lot to me. I get so happy to get votes and wonderful comments. Thank you!
Now the previous chapter, I wrote a bit of my break down, but dont worry about that. I'll be okay. I found myself a great person to talk to. Thanks all of you for those inspiring comments, you guys are my world <3
Now remember, I'm here for you if you ever need anybody. You are loved! Never forget that :D
Also, lostinneverland_ has an instagram! its lostinneverland_official
my personal ig is jennieaguilera_
twitter: fetusbandstho
I'm always open for covers, but you must message me on wattpad before :)
i love all of y'all. stay perffff <3
who ships CHALUM. THIS CHAPTER IS THEM KAY? <333
-Jennie
xx
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-Chloe's Perspective-
It kind of breaks my heart to see Calum suffering like this. It kind of sucks that I'm the reason why. And its absolutely shitty that I can't fix anything.
"Hold my hand?" He asks rather than says.
I let go of him and reach up to his hand and hold it tightly.
"I apologize for my break down. I'm bipolar," Calum says softly.
"No need to apologize," I reply.
And thats when Calum just looks at me. It's just us. The whole world kind of... disappears and the only thing I can think of is him.
"Chloe?" He doesn't dare look away.
"Yeah?"
"I don't know what to do anymore."
I look at him, watch him as tears fall. I watch how lost he looks. How torn he is.
"Calum I wish I could fix this."
"I wish too," he says and looks down at his sneakers.
"But I don't want to deal with this anymore." He continued.
"Calum, I wish I could change that--"
"Chloe, I think I don't want to be here anymore." He says, and I can't tell whether he means physically in my house or mentally on earth and alive. I jerk back a bit, frightened by his words.
"Explain," I whisper, tightening his grip.
"It hurts too much."
I wipe a tear off his cheek and he holds my hand there, freezing my position.
"Its too much," he says once more, another tear falling.
"Hey don't say that okay? Everything's gonna be okay. You just gotta hold on tight," I said appeasingly and softly.
"Chloe I don't know what to do," he repeats, almost as if he didn't hear what I'd just said.
"Don't do anything. Just hold on, never give up." I say.
I don't know how I feel about Calum. There was something about him. Maybe it was the way he looked at me. Or the way he had so much hope in me. Or maybe the way his tears make me realize how much I really care about him. I don't know really.
It tears me apart to see him like this but I need to be here for him.
I look at Calum in the eye as he scrunches his nose as another tear falls. He looks back.
"Chloe?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I kiss you?" He asks out of nowhere.
"If it'll make you feel better, yes. But if not, no." I say instead of being straight forward.
"Well I don't know," he sighs.
"Kissing you will make me realize how much I'm losing. But kissing you will distract me from the pain."
"Calum, I just want you to be okay. Will it make you feel better?" I ask.
"I guess I'll have to try it to find out." He says, another tear slipping down his cheek.
He leans forward, tilting his head and moving closer by the second. I can feel his breath on my skin. And as he uses his hand to lift my face a few centimeters, we touch.
His lips were soft and I can feel his tears on my cheek now. He kisses me softly, something so simple yet so meaningful.
He runs his fingers in my hair, down and then starting again from the top. He lets go of the kiss, his eyes opens at the same as mine do and we just look at each other.
There's a thought in my head.
I watch Calum's eyebrows furrow.
"Do you feel it?" He asks.
"Do I feel what?"
"My heart," he replies.
I realized my hand was on his chest and that's when I realize his heartbeats increasing immensely.
"It's not fair." He says.
I look at him, my eyes almost watering.
"Calum I just--"
And he kisses me mid sentence. I kiss back this time, getting lost in the moment. I can't help to notice how my mind automatically thought of Ashton.
I move away, kissing a guy while thinking of another? Whats wrong with you Chloe? I think to myself.
"What happened?" Calum asked curiously as he steps closer to me.
"Nothing. Let's go," I say, grabbing his hand and walking through the door way and out of the house.
I take Calum by hand and he, teary eyed, has displayed a small smile.
Maybe just for today, I should pretend to love him in the way Calum loves me. Maybe it'll make him feel so much better. Yeah.. maybe it will.
"Calum, lets do something. Anything. You're choice." I say with a smile plastered on my face.
"Are you sure?" Calum asks unconvinced.
"Of course I'm sure. C'mon, choose a place."
"Um.. I've always wanted to try out a restaurant here but I don't know any of their names." He says rather embarrassed.
"Don't worry. I'll let you choose when we get to the main restaurant entrance." I say smiling at him.
**
"Good afternoon. Do you two have anything in mind to eat today?" The waiter, a tall skinny American boy, probably 19, asks us as we take our seat and look at the menu's.
"Hot chocolate?" Calum asks me.
"Make it two," I say to the boy and he leaves.
"Thanks Chloe," Calum says to me politely.
"Anything for you." I say in reply.
The boy comes back with two cups of hot chocolate. We say our thank you's and he take out his little notepad to write on.
"Have you discussed what you'd like to eat this afternoon?"
Calum looks at me and I move my head, gesturing the menu's that we only glanced at.
"Pardon us. Could we have a few minutes more. We haven't looked at the menu's that much," Calum says embarrassed once again.
"Don't worry. Just wave your hand when you're ready. I'll be right with you," and the boy leaves.
Calum picks up my menu and hands it over to me. I nod as a quick thank you and pick up his for him.
We look at the menu's.
"What are you getting?" He asks.
"The picture of the spaghetti looks good. Its appealing but its cost is horrifying."
He laughs and replies, "I've got the cash. Don't you worry about it."
He waves his hand and the boy comes over.
"Two plates of spaghetti," Calum says and the the boy writes it down, gently smiles at us and walks away.
"Why are you doing this?" Calum asks, tapping his fingers on the table.
"I uh- Because I--"
The waiter comes back with two plates on his hands and places it in front of us with forks.
"Thank you," we say.
"My pleasure," the waiter says toward me.
Calum clears his throat and that's when the waiter leaves.
"You were saying?" Calum asks as he picks up his fork.
"Oh yeah. I want to make you feel good, okay?" I replied, picking up my fork too.
We ate in silence, Calum always looking up at me.
"Thanks," he smiles.
"Don't mention it Calum," I smile back at him.
"No. I mean it Chloe. I really am thankful. I know this isn't easy. Thank you lots." He says, his voice full of truths.
I tilt my head and furrow my eyebrowns.
"Calum, I'd do anything to make you feel better." He smiles wider and I try send one back.
I don't know if I really meant what I had just said.
"I promise." I say even after having doubts.
"You're the best," Calum says and starts eating again.
I chew softly on the spaghetti, and watch Calum eat.
"You inspire me Cal."
"What?"
"I said you inspire me."
"Explain."
"You always have hope and you're always strong even at your roughest times," I smile at him.
"Yeah well, the only hope I have now is you Chloe. You make me strong at my roughest times."