I walked down the hall a little way to make sure we couldn't be overheard. Then I turned around, arms crossed, to face the limping, zombie-faced boy in front of me.
He leaned heavily against the wall, trying to keep as much weight off of his bad leg as possible. We stood still for a good solid, silent minute before I took a deep breath.
"Listen, about Evan-"
He stepped forward and wound his arms around me, tugging my body closer to him.
The air was knocked out of my throat and tears threatened my eyes. I looped my arms around his neck and squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would dismiss all fear of losing him again.
"I missed you," he murmured.
I opened my lips slightly to say how I thought I'd lost him and tell him how much he meant to me...but nothing aside from a weak sob escaped. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as the tears followed, sliding down my cheeks and onto his bare skin.
I stayed like that for longer than I could count. I didn't want to think about the moment where I'd have to pull away from him and let life carry on.
"I'm sorry I didn't come back for you. When the base exploded, I thought-"
I brought my face up, meeting his eyes through my tears. "No, please don't apologize. None of this is your fault," I said.
He wiped the tears from my cheek, leaning down so his eyes were exactly level with mine. "I know, but I wasn't there when you needed me."
I gave him a weak smile. "Yes, you were," I said quietly. "You could've gotten Nugget out long before the base exploded, but you stayed with me. Don't you understand? You did everything you could do. I can't expect anymore than that."
"There's always more that I could've done," he said. "I hated leaving you there. I don't want you to think that I was a...a coward or something."
"Zombie, you are anything but a coward," I said, a laugh of disbelief following. "Why on earth would you think that?"
He shook his head softly. "Because I am," he said softly. "My sister- I couldn't save her. I abandoned her. I just ran...I left her."
Zombie looked away, towards the ground. Never before had I see him look so... so... guilty.
He ran his hand through his hair slowly, avoiding my eyes. "I thought I had lost you, just like I'd lost her," he murmured.
I bit my lip and looked towards the floor. "Nothing could make me ever think less of you," I said. "I don't think you're a coward and I'm not going to judge you based on your past. We aren't those kids anymore. I'm not Lucy Morgan and you're not Ben Parish."
I thought back to the boy he was in high school, the boy I'd helped in the locker room. Zombie was not that boy. He was much stronger than Ben Parish ever was.
I paused for a moment and then decided to wrap my arms around his torso, my right cheek pressing into his chest. "As for losing me, you don't need to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere."
Zombie laughed softly and I looked up to see him smiling. "You always know exactly what to say."
My cheeks started to get warm and I ducked my head.
Ok. Now was the time to tell him how I felt. I'd just come back from the dead and we finally had some peace and quiet away from the rest of the squad.
I tightened my grip on him, squeezing my eyes shut.
Why, after all we'd been through, was it so hard for me to admit my feelings to him?
It wasn't like he hadn't shown any signs of returning those feelings.
Then I thought of Cassie. And Lizbeth. Even if I did tell him how I felt and he somehow did feel the same way, would it be right for anything to happen between us at all?
"Zombie!"
My head shot up and I took a startled step back.
"What is it Flintstone?" Zombie asked, turning around to face him.
"I found-" Flintstone's head appeared in my line of vision and a smile spread across his face.
"Canary? Is that you?" he asked.
I returned his smile. "Nice to see you, Flint," I said, nodding.
His smile grew. "I knew the nickname would catch on."
I rolled my eyes and stepped forward, giving him a small hug.
I never really liked Flintstone, but after all the squad had been through and my time away from them, I realized how much they actually meant to me. They were all I had left.
I stepped back and then Flintstone turned to Zombie. "I found Dumbo. He was passed out under the stairwell."
And then like a switch, Zombie went from warm and caring to cold and willing to take out anything in his path.
Zombie pursed his lips and his jaw set. "I know who did this," he said, pushing past Flintstone. He started heading towards the room where we'd left Evan, his boots thudding against the ground with each long stride he took.
"Make sure Dumbo is ok. I'll deal with him," I said to Flintstone.
Flintstone paused, shaking his head. "Maybe we should let Zombie do whatever he wants to Evan," he said. "He is an Other."
I narrowed my eyes. "We're not letting him do anything to Evan. Go get Dumbo."
Flintstone nodded and left, leaving me alone.
I looked over to see Zombie mere feet away from Evan's room.
I raced towards him, just in time to grab hold of his jacket sleeve and yank him away from the door.
Well, it was less of a yank and more of a pitiful pull.
But it was enough to get his attention. His eyes met mine briefly and he stopped in his tracks.
"Zombie." I said slowly. I tugged at his sleeve once more before he allowed me to pull him away.
Once I ushered him away from the door a little bit, I dropped his sleeve from my hand.
It was actually time to talk to him about what I had originally pulled him aside for. I needed to bring up Evan before Zombie decided to kill him in his sleep. No one needed that right now.
"Zombie," I started, trying my best to keep my tone level and strong. "I know you're not exactly happy that Evan is here. And after what he did to Dumbo... I understand. Trust me, I get it- "
"Do you?" He interrupted, his voice hard.
I blinked quickly, taken back by his harsh response.
"Canary, do you even realize who he is? He's an Other." Zombie crossed his arms as he stood tall and rigid. "I don't know if you've forgotten what they did, but they wiped out an entire race. Our race."
This was not the same boy I'd been hugging only a minute earlier. The smile and joy were gone, replaced by a scowl and hatred.
I was stunned for a moment before I composed myself. I lifted my chin higher, as if to appear stronger despite the good foot he had on me.
"Yes, I do. While I was being dragged away from that hospital room at Wright Patterson, he found me and saved me. I wouldn't be alive without him, Zombie. So yes, I do know who he is. I realize that his kind killed more than just a few people, but Evan is different."
"Different ? He's an Other. They're all the same. They destroy and take lives. All of them. He knocked Dumbo out and he could've done the same thing to Poundcake and Teacup. We're not safe as long as he's here."
I tossed the doubts I had about Evan away, deciding that standing up for the boy that saved my life was better than condemning Evan based on the actions of those like him.
I took a threatening step forward so that I could almost feel Zombie's hot breath on my face.
"He saved m-"
"And you owe him for that. I don't owe him anything," Zombie said. "He killed my sister. My mom. My dad. Everyone I care about. So if you feel like you're repaying him by standing up to me, then fine. But he doesn't deserve anything from me."
My heart dropped and my breath locked in my throat.
Everyone he cared about? What happened to him being afraid to lose me like he'd lost his sister? Did he care for me or did he not?
I was tired of not knowing. I was tired of not knowing whether we were going to survive. I was tired of not knowing whether the Others would win or not. I was tired of not knowing what to do or how to act. And maybe the most frustrating of them all, I was tired of not knowing how Zombie felt about me.
But the one thing the latter had going for it that the rest didn't was that I could do something about it.
So before Zombie could open his mouth again to say something I wanted to slap him for, I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips against his.
His body went stiff with surprise before he moved his hand to the small of my back, pulling me towards him.
My breathing hitched as his lips started working against mine.
I wound my arms around his neck. He moved his free hand up to my cheek.
"Everyone you care about?" I asked softly, my lips moving against his as I spoke. My eyes fluttered open and I looked up, meeting his brown ones.
"Zombie! It's Dumbo. I need your help!," Flintstone called up the stairs.
My shoulders sagged and my grip loosened slightly but I didn't pull away. I searched his eyes, looking for some sort of response.
"Zombie!"
He looked back at me for a moment before moving towards the stairs, and away from me.
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Sorry for the late update! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter at least a little bit *smiles*.
Let me know how you liked it and vote if you love Ben Parish!
Love you all and I really appreciate all the time you guys put into reading, commenting, and voting! If you need anything, don't hesitate to message me (please no reading requests though:)!
I've also decided to change the actress of Canary. I don't really feel like Madison Davenport fits who I really picture Canary as now! The new actress is Natalia Dyer: