Holy crap, this took me forever to write, because it's really long. Anyways, it's 11:30 and I have an exam tomorrow, and I'm super tired. Stayed up late just to edit this again. Please enjoy, and thank you!
***
Jennifer's POV -
I sweep my red hair to my other shoulder, all of which has been curled to perfection by Kelsie, and let out a great sigh.
I don't know how tonight's going to go, but I'm hoping for the best. With Neville, Blaise, and Draco all current issues in my life, I could either be crying or smiling at the end of tonight.
Well, perhaps not smiling, but at least not crying.
Just then, Kelsie walks out from within the bathroom, wearing the purple dress she'd originally picked out for me. It looks better on her than it had on me, and I find myself glad that she picked it out instead.
I allow a small smile in her direction, but her jaw only drops in return. "Wow, you look stunning."
"Thanks, you do, too." I respond truthfully, and begin to fiddle with the charms on my bracelet, which stand out much less next to the navy blue shade of my gown.
Our dorm is dimly lit, and relatively quiet. I have no idea why I'm so nervous about the dance, but there's a feeling in my gut that makes my insides churn, like something bad is going to happen.
Kelsie seems to take notice of the worried look on my face, and opens her mouth to speak. However, whatever she was planning to say, I'll never know, for just then, Josefina bursts into the room.
"Holy shit." She says, her eyes wide. "Why are you hotter than me?"
A laugh escapes my lips, but she seems to be serious. "Thanks, again." I say, turning sideways to examine myself in the mirror.
Josefina's dress is a deep red, and it looks great on her.
"Well," she says, drawing me out of my trance, "We should get on our way."
Both Kelsie and I nod in agreement, and we make our way towards the door, following her out.
Suddenly, Kelsie stops me just before we exit, carefully taking hold of my upper arm. "Hey." Her words are soft as I turn to look at her. "Tonight's going to be fun. Don't worry about it."
I smile timidly in response before we continue our path towards the Great Hall. Despite her words, the sick feeling in my stomach doesn't go away.
***
Draco's POV -
I stand at the entrance of the great hall, watching carelessly as couples walk past.
The only reason I actually decided to come to this shitty dance is to make sure Blaise doesn't bother Jennifer. Otherwise, I'd be working on the vanishing cabinet tonight.
I could've had a date, but I didn't care for one. Many of the girls I'd been with in the past, including Pansy, had asked me, but I'd quickly turned them down. Another 6th year from Slytherin had asked me, but I hadn't even seen her before, nor had I known her name.
I straightened out my tie, sighing impatiently. All of my over excited peers are really beginning to get on my nerves.
Just then, a familiar head of red hair rounds the corner, and my heart seems to freeze in my throat.
Jennifer.
The very moment I see her, my mind goes blank, my chest inflates, and everyone else in the room seems to disappear.
She had looked great in the red dress when I'd stumbled upon her and Kelsie in the shop a few days ago, but now, her beauty seems to take my breath away, seriously.
I see her long red locks, her warm eyes that I can identify from across the room, her innocent smile, and I can't breathe. But the lack of air is refreshing, as long as I'm looking at her.
"Bloody hell." Goyle says, as if he's suddenly materialized next to me. His eyes are trained on the same girl as mine are, but I take no notice. "You must be in severe, severe pain. Hey, I would too, if I'd ended something with a girl as fine as that."
Lucky for him, his words fly right over my head. "Shut the hell up." I breathe. His significance to me right now is the same as a housefly's, if not less.
I watch as she smiles, laughing when Josefina makes a joke, and can't contain a small smile of my own.
Just then, I feel a tap on my shoulder that pulls me back to reality, and turn around, rather annoyed and ready to tell whoever it is off.
Neville Longbottom stands behind me, his arms crossed over his chest as he stares at me heatedly. I roll my eyes, ready to wave him away, but he starts talking before I have the chance. "Might wanna stop staring, Malfoy."
I almost laugh at his attempt to be intimidating. "You don't want to mess with me tonight, Longbottom. Watch yourself."
His eyes narrow as he continues to glare at me like he's some sort of threat. "Long as you don't mess with her." He jerks his head in Jennifer's direction as she walks past us, and my eyes linger on her for just a moment longer before I speak again.
"Well, she rejected you, so I don't think that's really your concern." I say casually. His presence is becoming more and more annoying with every minute that he doesn't leave me the hell alone.
"Just back off, man." His words are solid, and I roll my eyes in irritation as he walks away like he got the best of me. I'm starting to regret coming to this thing.
***
Jennifer's POV -
The Great Hall looks spectacular the night of the dance. The tables have been pushed to the sides, and the high ceiling portrays a dark and starry night sprinkled with gentle snowflakes. Hundreds of candles hover over the open area, and fairy lights deck the tops of the walls. There are a few tables with various refreshments scattered across the room, as well. It's the kind of scene you'd see in a snow globe.
Kelsie, Josefina, and I make our way into the Great Hall, rather slowly among the large crowd of people who are anxious to see what's waiting beyond the entrance. The knot in my stomach has yet to fade, and I subconsciously chew on the inside of my cheek, tugging the sleeves of my dress a little further past my wrists.
"Jesus, by the time we make it into the Great Hall, the dance is gonna be over." Josefina whines impatiently as the endless line of students ahead of us inches forward, causing a grin to stretch across my face.
"Shut up, we'll be in soon." Kelsie remarks from the other side of me, and Josefina flies her a rude hand gesture in response, making me laugh again.
It's quiet for a moment, other than the low chatter surrounding us, until Josefina sucks in a breath through her teeth. "What?" I ask, curious as to what her dreadful expression is about.
"Lord have mercy. He's like a cockroach, he never goes away." Josefina mutters, only confusing me more.
"What?" Kelsie and I both repeat at the same time in confusion.
"Goyle." She responds, like it's the most obvious thing ever. My eyes begin to scan around, and I spot Goyle picking his way through the students, heading in our direction. "Ever since we were paired up at that dance practice thing, he won't leave me the hell alone. Don't mind if I duck out for a minute."
Both Kelsie and I begin to laugh hysterically as Josefina bows her head, quickly striding in the opposite direction. My mind begins to wander in a different direction as Josefina attempts to escape.
I wonder if Draco's here. He has no reason to be here, but I still find myself nervously raking over the large crowd for his familiar face. When I don't find him, I quickly look down again. I'm not even sure if I want him to be here or not.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to worry about tonight?" Kelsie sighs, grabbing my shoulder, and drawing me from my thoughts.
"Sorry." I mumble half-consciously, and she rolls her eyes.
"Just try to have fun tonight, got it? Cause if you don't have fun, neither will I." She says, and I giggle, shaking my head.
Despite her attempts to calm me down, I still feel as if my lunch is threatening to reappear. I hope she's right about tonight.
***
After the opening couples perform their ceremonial dances to begin the ball, executing the steps with grace and melody that I simply don't have, Kelsie and I reunite with Josefina, who has successfully freed herself from Goyle.
"God, he's a nightmare." She continues to complain as we stand by one of the numerous beverage tables, nodding to the beat. "Ugly as hell, too. Terrible pick-up lines."
I roll my eyes at her rude comment, but I'm not surprised. Josefina's harsh on everyone, except for Kelsie and I. I've tried to reason with her before, but gave up after many failed attempts.
My eyes browse over the room again, and my heart experiences a pang of guilt when I spot Neville talking to Ron across the room, and looking rather bummed out.
"Gosh, I just feel so mean." I sigh as I gaze across the room at him, causing Kelsie and Josefina to collectively groan. Ever since I'd told them about my rejection of Neville, I'd been expressing my guilt often, which as far as I can tell, they'd gotten a bit tired of.
"You said no to going to a dance with him, you didn't kill his grandmother or something." One of the two of them says, but I'm too distracted by my own thoughts to tell which.
"I know." I sigh, even though I'm barely paying attention. "Maybe I should've said yes. He's such a nice guy."
"Well, I think it's a bit late for that one." Josefina remarks, and I shoot her an annoyed glare, to which she shrugs, taking a sip of her drink.
As the tempo of the song changes from slow to fast, Kelsie jolts up straight, as if she's gotten an idea. I raise my eyebrows at her as she skips out onto the dance floor happily. "Let's go dance." She announces, to which Josefina claps her hands together, rushing out to meet her at the edge of the floor.
I, however, am not as excited about the idea, and suck in a breath of air through my teeth questionably. "I'm not very good at dancing..." I trail off, hoping my lazy excuse will help get me out of this one. But no such luck.
Josefina reaches out, grabbing my arm and reeling me in beside her. "Nice try. Let's go." She says, tugging me out into the crowd behind her.
I shrug to myself. Maybe they're right. Maybe I do need to loosen up, and have a little bit of fun after all that's happened in the past few months. How bad can it be?
***
Draco's POV -
I lean against the entrance of the Great Hall, tapping my foot. I'm unsure of what to do with myself, as I really have no purpose being here, and check my watch.
"Jesus." I whisper to myself impatiently when I realize that it's only 9:45. This thing better not last that much longer.
Just then, a shorter girl with dirty blonde hair and the soft brown eyes of a doe approaches me confidently, wearing a tacky red dress and quite noticeably pushing out her chest. I have to hold back my scoff as she nears me, a sickly fake smile stretching across her lips.
"Hello, Draco." She begins, her plastic voice bringing bile to the back of my throat. "I was wondering if you'd like to dance with me?"
"Do you even fucking know me?" I ask in a rude tone, but I honestly don't give a shit. I'm not really feeling apologetic at the moment.
She steps back, raising her eyebrows. "Pansy told me you could be an asshole, but damn, I wasn't expecting that."
"Yeah, well, I'm not too fond of her, either. Don't take it personally." I sigh. Hopefully, she'll decide to give up and leave me the hell alone soon, whoever she is. I keep my arms crossed over my chest firmly, and my eyes trained out into the middle of the crowd.
"Well, I'll be dancing. By myself." The mysterious girl adds on, as if suggesting that I'm free to join her.
"Knock yourself out." And with that, she's gone, huffing angrily as she storms away. I smirk to myself, surprised with how easily she got pissed at me.
Suddenly, a strong hand connects with my shoulder, and drags me around the corner violently.
"What the hell-" I begin, but my sentence is cut off when my eyes lay upon a furious looking Snape, my ability to speak gone.
What could he possibly want with me right now? And why the hell is it so urgent?
"Please, tell me why you are wasting your time at this ball, when you should be working on your task." He says through gritted teeth, a couple drops of his saliva landing on my face.
My nose scrunched up as I wipe them off, and quickly shake his hands from me. "I've got it under control." My words sound a lot more confident than they feel.
"Draco-" He begins firmly, "-I made a vow to protect you-"
"-I don't need your help." I spit, interrupting him as anger rises up in my chest. "I was chosen for this, not you!"
"Be quiet, foolish boy." He snaps, glancing around swiftly as to make sure no one is listening in on the two of us. He turns back to me, a more serious look etched across his face. "You need to leave Hogwarts, tonight. The Dark Lord has called upon you."
My heart skips a beat, and my breath hitches in my throat.
What did he just say?
Within seconds, my mind begins to conjure up unrealistic explanations to his words, but deep down, I know the truth as soon as he speaks, and I'm dreading it. Ice cold fear spreads through my veins like disease, paralyzing me from head to toe.
"What...? No-there's no-" I begin in disbelief, but he cuts me off.
"The Dark Lord wishes to speak to you. Tonight." Snape says blandly, and I begin to pace back and forth, my hands trembling with panic.
"No...no. That's not-I can't-" I try to speak, more to myself than to him, but my jumbled thoughts won't allow me to form a full sentence.
"It is no one's choice but his. You must go, Draco."
I stop my frantic pacing, standing still in front of him. I'm sure that my face is contorted with fear. "It's not ready. I'm not ready yet." I can't see him, there's no way in hell that I can.
"Take my hand." Snape says, his voice laced with irritation as he holds out a hand in my direction.
I'm unable to move, and I don't want to. I stare down at his open palm, and then up at him desperately.
"Take it!" Snape demands, very harshly this time. I shoot my hand out towards his, my eyes screwing shut as we disappear from thin air.
***
When my feet hit the ground again, I'm sent stumbling back a few steps by the force of the impact.
I stare at the dark marble floor, too afraid to look up, and recognize the surface immediately. I'm in the manor.
Just then, a soft and familiar hissing noise sounds from the opposite side of the room, causing an unforgiving pit to grow in my stomach.
The door slams shut behind me, signaling Snape's departure from the room.
Whoever it is standing across from me, is my only company.
My heart begins to race.
"Draco, my dear boy..." A high pitched and cold voice hisses from above me. My eyes slowly travel up to the source of the noise, my blood as cold as ice in my veins.
When my eyes meet those of cold and emotionless red ones, my knees almost buckle in.
"...it's pleasant to see you again." The same chilling voice says, but I doubt that it's sincere.
I open my mouth to speak, but close it again, swallowing when I can't form any words.
My eyes flick to the corner, and I take another step back, my lips slightly parting in horror as I recognize a small child in Hufflepuff robes standing motionlessly. It's a young boy, no older than 11 or 12.
"I'd like to hear about the progress you've made on your task." Voldemort speaks slowly, a sick satisfaction lurking in his eyes as he sees my horrified expression. I glance back at the boy in the corner. He stands like a drone, emotionless.
Something isn't right here.
"Um-" I stammer, regaining my ability to speak after minutes of silence, "-it's-coming along-well." I lie, straight through my teeth. As soon as I've said the words, I regret them. He's able to see right through me.
I'm terrified of what he plans to do with the 1st year, and even more so of how easily he was able to obtain the kid.
"Interesting..." Voldemort whispers, studying me with great focus. He then turns to the boy, as if he's deciding what to do with him.
Everything inside of me is screaming to run forward, and make an attempt to rescue the child, but my feet are frozen to the floor.
Voldemort then makes eye contact with the boy, and for a moment, the only sound in the room is the soft scrape of Nagini slithering across the floor. "I'd like you to open the window..." He begins, and the kid stares back at him blankly, as if he's waiting for further instruction. "And jump out of it."
"NO!" I shout uncontrollably, my voice breaking as terror rushes through my body, but the boy has already unlocked the large window and stepped onto the ledge.
Without hesitating, his feet move away from the surface, and he disappears from sight.
I stumble back a few steps, my eyes wide with horror.
The sound of a body hitting the pavement echoes up through the window, and I wince back towards the corner.
My ears are ringing, and my face is frozen with shock.
"Ah, Draco." Voldemort begins emotionlessly from across the room, but I can barely hear him. My eyes begin to pool with tears as the shock leaves me. I know what's happened, but I don't want to believe it. "This is what happens when you lie to me. I wouldn't try it again."
I'm still staring at the spot from which the little boy jumped only moments ago, my jaw hanging open, my vision blurred and eyes stinging.
Voldemort must've used the Imperius Curse on him, there's no way a first year would've looked so calm in his presence, let alone follow his every command without a doubt.
"I want you to deliver this necklace to Dumbledore." Voldemort hisses, extending his pale arm to hand me a wrapped package, but I can't focus. "How you do it, I do not care. But it is in your best interest to get it to him, or else, this may happen again." He finishes, gesturing to where the boy stood.
Finally, I tear my eyes away from the window, snatching the package out of his hand. Voldemort stares down at me, a small and cruel smile upon his face.
"But, Draco, my dear boy," He begins shrilly, the whisper of Nagini moving across the floor still echoing around the room, "Do not touch the necklace. It is cursed."
Voldemort holds up a bony hand, and snaps his fingers, somehow sending me right back to Hogwarts.
For one moment, it feels like I'm falling through space and time, and then, my feet thud against the floor heavily.
Immediately, my knees buckle, and I sink to the ground, overwhelmed by the sudden surge of rage, fear, and guilt that's risen up inside me.
I sit there, in the middle of the corridor, my chest rising and falling rather quickly as the image of the boy jumping from the window plays in my mind over and over again.
This is my fault. If I wouldn't have lied to the Dark Lord, the child could've been safe. But something tells me that Voldemort had no means of returning the kid back to Hogwarts alive.
After another minute or two, I push myself off of the ground with trembling hands, a single thought plaguing my mind.
I have to go find her. I need to.
***
Jennifer's POV -
"Can we take a break? I'm getting tired." I breathe, exhausted by the amount of dancing we've done. We're surrounded by many other students, all of whom are dancing as well.
I've even spotted Pansy and Blaise performing a more explicit kind of dance on each other, which brought bile to the back of my throat. There was another girl with them, one with blonde hair and brown eyes. I hadn't ever seen her before.
"Yeah, I'm getting kind of tired." Kelsie agrees, to which Josefina shrugs. All three of us move to the edge of the room, weaving our way through the crowd to do so.
I haven't seen Draco yet, so I assume that he decided not to come. Yet, I still find my self scanning the room for him.
Suddenly, I feel a timid tap on my shoulder, and turn around, wondering who it could be.
I'm surprised, and a little bit scared, to see Neville.
"Oh, hey, Neville." I say, my lips forming a small yet tired smile as the beat of the song continues to pump vibrantly.
"Hi," he responds in a quiet voice. I take note of the fact that both Kelsie and Josefina have seemed to disappear from behind me, and silently curse them. "I was thinking-that you might like to dance with me?"
He sounds more confident this time, but I still can't manage to speak for a moment.
"Just as friends." He adds on, and my muscles relax. I don't know if I had it in me to tell him no again, he's such a nice person.
"Okay." I smile, and he grins back, before leading me out into the middle of the crowd.
Although he and I haven't proven ourselves to be the best combination when it comes to dancing, we manage to have fun anyways, uncontrollable laughter falling from my lips as he attempts a difficult move.
After a while, I've forgotten about everything else, and it feels as if only him and I out in the middle of the floor, alone.
***
Draco's POV -
I quickly stride down the corridors, almost blindly, as my eyes begin to sting and my vision becomes blurred. My hands are still shaking tremendously at my sides, and my knees feel like bags of water.
I can't seem to fully contemplate what's happening to me, only able to watch as my life continues to fall apart.
The death of the boy was all my fault. I hate Voldemort for taking the actions he did, but not as much as I hate myself. If I hadn't had lied to him, things might've gone differently.
All I know is that I have to see Jennifer right now. It's the only thought on my mind. I doubt she'll want to see me, but hell, as long as I see her. It's the only feeling guiding me through any of this right now.
I stumble into the Great Hall, scanning the room desperately as I try to keep myself from breaking down. It feels like my life is hanging by a thread.
When my eyes land on her, my heart seems to sink into my stomach.
She's standing there, as radiant as ever, in the middle of the crowded floor.
But she's not alone.
Longbottom stands next to her, grinning like an idiot as she bursts out laughing at a joke he made, which I'm sure was corny as hell.
The exact moment I see her, happily dancing with him, I realize that I am, and possibly forever will be, a part of her past. I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to think. I don't know how to stand. I don't even know if I should keep my hands inside or outside of my pockets.
My heart's racing, and the wind has been knocked out of me. I can't spend another second staring at her, because I know I'll break down.
I quickly turn, exiting the room as fast as possible upon seeing the dreadful sight. It feels like it takes me ages to find a silent corridor again, and when I do, I press my back against the wall firmly, as the same dark thoughts that had begun to creep upon me months ago rush into my head all at once.
What the hell was I thinking? Of course she wouldn't want to talk to me, she hates me. And who the hell does Longbottom think he is?
I shake my head, running a hand through my hair as my eyes begin to burn again. I've never felt this weak. It feels like a part of me has died, though I'm not sure which. All I know is that I'm no longer the same person as I was yesterday. Hell, I didn't even know who I was then.
This is what I wanted, right? For her to move on with her life, find someone else, and forget about me, if not hate me? It seemed like it was for the best, and I know damn well that it still is, but now that it's finally unfolding in front of my eyes, I can't bear to watch.
I begin to pace back and forth, wiping away the beads of sweat that have suddenly appeared on my forehead with the back of my hand.
I'd never intended to care about her this much, or pull her into my shitty life. In fact, I remember it being much easier when I didn't care about anyone at all, but that isn't something I can control with her.
My whole world is crashing and burning around me, and like the selfish and worthless piece of shit I am, I'm about to drag her further into the mess.
As much as I hate myself for it, I have to let her know how I really feel, even if that means she'll hate me for an eternity, though I can't stand the idea of that.
I take a deep and shaky breath, still overwhelmed in every way possible by everything that's happened tonight.
Everything I've kept buried deep inside of me for months is about to spill over the edges.
I take a step toward the open space in front of the corridor, and before I know it, I'm back on my way to the Great Hall yet again tonight.
***
Jennifer's POV -
"Wow, Mania, nice moves." Neville jokes as I twirl across the crowded dance floor aimlessly, giggling to myself as I imagine how ridiculous I probably look. Some of my peers back up a little, almost as if they're parting to create a space for the two us. "Real cute."
"Thank you." I say politely, sarcasm ringing in my voice. He chuckles again at my dreamy and almost drunken state, provoking me to laugh along with him.
Just then, a tall figure slides in between us rather harshly, and I almost go off on the rude stranger, until I realize that it's no stranger at all.
Draco stands above me coldly and firmly, looking exhausted, angered, and almost as if he's been...crying?
"Draco, what are you doi-" I begin angrily, but I fail to finish my sentence when he takes my wrists in his hands, staring down at me almost desperately.
"I need you to come with me." His voice is small, and quivering.
"Leave her alone, Malfoy." Neville says from behind the two of us, although I barely notice him. I sigh, shooting Draco the most menacing look I can muster up before peering over his tall shoulder to face Neville.
"Neville, I'm sorry, but please stay out of this. I can handle it." I say, desperately hoping that he'll listen to me. Neville cocks an eyebrow in my direction, but I throw him one last warning glance before turning back to Draco, hoping that he'll go away. Draco is unpredictable, and I wouldn't want him hurting Neville because of me.
Not even the slightest hint of satisfaction lingers in Draco's expression as he stares down upon me. I get the feeling that he might fall apart any moment, but I'm sure that I'm wrong. What does he even want with me right now, anyways?
"Listen-" I begin, but Draco releases one of my wrists before I can finish my sentence, and starts to drag me through the crowd harshly, almost to the point where I'm left stumbling behind him.
"Draco, stop it-" I protest, but he pretends to not hear me, his grip on my wrist growing increasingly tighter. I attempt to apologize to most of the people that we bump into along the way, all of them looking rather annoyed with the two of us.
Whatever he's up to, I plan on telling him off as soon as I have the chance.
I try to yank my wrist away from his hold as he pulls me along into an empty corridor, but he's too strong for me, which just annoys me more.
When he finally drags me into the deserted men's restroom, I rip my hand away from his, rubbing circles into the spot where he'd gripped it. I'm sure that there'll be a mark there within a few days time.
I slowly look up to discover that his back is turned to me. He tugs his vest over his head frantically, as if he's stressed out, and throws it onto the floor with a loud snap. I back further against the cold tile wall, the surface chilling some of my exposed skin.
I don't know what his plan is, but I'm not liking it. He still hasn't said a word, even after dragging me all the way to this bathroom with no explanation, and it's starting to anger me.
"Draco, we shouldn't be in here-" I start quietly, but he cuts me off, turning around abruptly. Even under the dim light, I can make out his bloodshot eyes, and my heartbeat begins to gradually increase as he stares at me with them.
"I can't do it anymore." His voice is hoarse, and his gaze lingers on me before he turns away, walking towards the sinks. I tilt my head, even more confused than I already was. What is he talking about? He seems panicked, and on edge, like I've never really seen him before.
"Draco, what are you talking about?"
He turns back to me again, looking over me as if he's studying me. "I can't do it." He repeats himself, his voice shaky this time.
I take my bottom lip in between my teeth and stare down at my feet as he grows closer to me. How am I supposed to respond to that? Before I can do so, he speaks again.
"I can't be selfish with you, but I am." He starts to pace back and forth under the low light as if he's talking to himself rather than me. "You hate me, and I know it. But I can't do it anymore, and I need you to be with me, as selfish as that is."
"Draco, you're scaring me." I say quietly, hoping he'll explain what he's talking about. However, just hearing him say that he needs me makes some kind of warmth blossom in my chest. What does that mean? "I thought you said you never actually wanted to be with me."
"I lied, I had to."
"What?" It's the only word I can manage to get out. My voice is but a breath. What the hell is he talking about? It must be serious, because he appears to be very stressed out, almost to the point of tears, which is a side of Draco that I'm not used to seeing.
A shaky sigh escapes his lips as he looks anywhere but my eyes. "When you were tortured over Winter Break, and I found you there, all weak and afraid, I discovered something." He swallows, as if struggling to translate his thoughts into words. "I never wanted you to be in danger again, ever. And if that meant that I had to lie to you, and keep myself away from you, and make you hate me by acting like as much of an ass as I could, then I was going to do that."
The room is silent.
I am beyond confused, and completely speechless. All I can do is stand there, still and silent, as I watch this boy who had worked so to make himself seem invincible break down right in front of me.
Draco starts to pace back and forth again, this time more frantically. "Like I said, I can't be selfish with you, but I am. I'm fucking awful to you, you hate me and I know it." He seems to be thinking out loud at this point.
"Explain to me what's going on, or I'm leaving." I demand, sounding bolder than I feel. He looks at me, desperately, as if he's already begging me not to go.
"I don't know why I-" He stammers, but cuts himself off, like he's not exactly sure what to say, or why he even brought me here. Bewildered and stunned, I take his silence as my invitation to leave, and move towards the door.
But Draco is quicker than me.
He steps out, pinning one hand to the door, and the other to the wall beside my head, preventing my escape. I look down at my feet as my heart begins to race. We're only inches apart, and neither of us know exactly what will happen next.
"Don't go." His voice is small, and I can tell his frantic pleas are sincere. "Please, don't go."
He doesn't remove his hands from either side of my head, keeping me trapped in the corner. I suck in my breath, my eyes squeezing shut. "What are you doing..." I manage to breathe, staring back at him with equal desperation when my eyes slide open again.
He hangs his head, unable to look at me any longer. "I can't do this anymore without you...Jennifer, I need you."
Draco's words unravel me in ways that I never would've imagined. They break and heal my heart, all at once. And even though I have no idea what he's talking about, I feel like I do. I can see him slowly crumbling by the way he looks at me, like he's filled with lethal poison, and I'm the antidote.
"Please, I don't know how much longer I'll last without you." He repeats, his voice shaking tremendously. It's then that I notice his bloodshot eyes, and the dark circles under them, and the salty tear rolling down his cheek that leaves a clear mark like a rain drop on a dusty window pane.
"I-" I begin, swallowing down the lump in my throat, "I don't know what you want me to say."
His face becomes pale, like he's just seen a ghost, and beneath it, I see the frail mentality that was left inside of him snap like a twig. Whatever has been keeping him up at night, or making him cold and distant, it's finally gotten to him, and it's because of me.
He sinks down to his knees in front of me, his quivering hands slipping from the walls, and all I can do is stare down at him, horrified, as my heart shatters into a million pieces.
"What can I do?" He manages to choke out, the tears slipping from his eyes far out of his control. "I'll do anything..."
Seeing him like this takes everything out of me. Panicking, crying, and damaged in ways that I never would've thought possible. The mask he disguises himself under is unbreakable and emotionless, and even I wouldn't have guessed he was suffering this much underneath it all.
I want to do everything, but I feel like I can do nothing. Despite all that he's done to me, and all of the lies he's told, I want to take all of his grief upon myself, and I have no idea why.
"Just tell me the truth." I whisper, doing everything I can to hold myself back from collapsing down beside him. The only thing I want from him right now is what was hidden behind all of his lies. Why I was tortured, what's causing him to break down like this, and why he needs me to do it. Yet I'm absolutely terrified that he won't tell me.
He's silent for a moment, and I'm only able to see the top of his head.
"I can't..." His voice is a gravelly, remorse-filled one, and I can tell he means it, whether he wants to tell me or not.
My heart sinks at his words, with the knowledge of what's coming. "Goodbye, Draco."
He freezes for a moment, allowing me to sneak past him and head for the door.
I wipe the underneath of my eyes as I near the exit, attempting to keep myself composed until after I'm out of his sight.
He must come to his senses, because I hear frantic movement behind me, and suddenly, he spins me around to face him.
"Please, please." He whispers, his voice shaking as he takes my hands in his and holds them to his chest. His thumbs press into my skin as he stares at me desperately, his eyes bloodshot as he awaits my answer.
It takes all of the strength inside me to pull my hands from his, and I stare down at my feet, afraid to see the look on his face, and afraid for him to see the look on mine. "I'm sorry." I whisper again, my voice barely audible.
And with that, I turn away from him, hiding my face as I leave the room, and leave him, as quickly as possible.
More than that, I try to ignore the fact that he doesn't make a sound from behind me as I go, leaving him completely alone.
All that can be heard from behind me is silence, and I don't dare look back.
***
Well, I really hope you enjoyed this! Next chapter soon! Tysm :)