Chapter 4 - Clumsy
I honestly think I could stay in the lake forever even if all my skin looks like an eighty-year old granny’s would look like. I’m always so happy here. It’s just so easy to swim without worrying about the world outside. It even feels like time freezes and I only have this moment forever.
I always loved the movie The Little Mermaid and I think she really, really had to love Eric if she gave up to her world under the sea for him. Seriously, can you love someone that much as to give up on your home? On that place that is your safe haven? I do believe in love but we have surviving instincts and giving up on the place that keeps you safe and sound doesn’t seem to follow that theory. I don't know, it’s a thought. But again, I’ve never been in love. I’ve only read about it and seen it in movies so I don’t know. Maybe love is stronger than self-preservation.
I keep swimming as my mind keeps wandering through so many different topics. It’s always like that, I’m always thinking of something, wondering. That’s why it’s so easy for me to zone out in any moment. I just see those little things that people tend to take for granted and ignore them. I pay attention to those things and really give them a thought.
“Hey!” I hear a shout whilst I’m still floating on the water, looking at the stars and trying to see the constellations as they are supposed to be.
Startled, I sink in the water and then hurry to come out to the surface again, coughing away the water that got in my nose by accident. I look around, my eyes wide open looking for the someone who shouted. I didn’t imagine that, I really heard someone.
“Hey you!” I hear again, a male’s voice and I start to panic, looking everywhere.
I finally find him, standing on the dock, waving his arms. I’m quite far away from where he’s standing and I can’t recognise him, but I’m sure he’s not my dad. My dad is not slim and tall like that man and certainly not that young. My dad barely has hair and this guy has loads.
Oh God! What is he doing here? It’s late, no one is supposed to be here at this time of the night.
I look around, scared and with my heart hammering in my ribcage. What if he’s a murderer? Then I’ll be a case of CSI!
I sink in the water, hiding from him and swimming away. It’s a big lake, I can run from him. I know this land like the back of my hand, I can lose him if he comes after me. Whoever he is and whatever he wants, he won’t get it.
I get to the lakeside near the trees that form the little forest that separates the two properties, so I use the bushes and trees to hide as I leave the water. I sneak out, dripping cold water and feeling the cold air embracing me and making me shiver. I still look around, looking for this guy and careful not to make much noise.
I’m hiding behind a tree when I see him coming from the dock, running, looking around… looking for me? Oh God, what if he really wants to kill me? I hide even more, kneeling and trying to disappear into the darkness of the forest. But he comes in this direction. He can’t know where I am, can he?
“Where are you?” he asks and as he approaches even more, I can finally recognise him… and his voice.
What is Harry doing here? Shouldn't he be in the retreat centre, getting rest?
“I know you’re somewhere. Please,” he speaks again but I keep hiding. I don’t think he’ll kill me but still, I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of him by stuttering like a big idiot.
He keeps approaching, walking further into the forest and struggling with the twigs and roots on the ground. Pushing aside branches and bushes. Still looking.
When you see Harry Styles in pictures and videos he looks so… confident and elegant, like he owns the world. But then you see him walking in a forest, fighting against Mother Nature and losing. Really losing. He trips over and over again, falling more than once on his knees and hands.
“Shit.”
“Fuck.”
“Ouch.”
He keeps cursing as he rises to his feet again and keeps looking whilst I keep hiding. It’s so easy for me, this is my kingdom, I know it perfectly but he doesn’t have a clue where he’s standing and he clearly isn’t used to this kind of land.
In a moment he steps on a fallen branch that breaks making a loud noise, scaring Harry who yells throwing his arms in the air and losing his balance to fall on his bum again. I can help it, I giggle when I see him tripping over one more time. He’s really clumsy, so different from that image I had of him. For a moment I even think I should leave this hiding spot and help him before he kills himself.
And I thought he wanted to kill me. It seems he’s only a danger for himself.
But the fact I giggle alerts him of my presence.
“I knew you were here. Where are you?” he asks, still sitting on his bum on the ground but looking everywhere. “Please, I just wanna talk. I won’t hurt you.”
I giggle again when he says that because he’s the one sitting on the ground after he got scared when a branch broke.
“I know you helped me yesterday. You saved my life and I just wanna thank you,” he says and I hold my breath. That’s why he’s here but why now, at this time? It’s so late. It’s probably midnight. “Please.”
Even if he asks it like that I don’t move. What would happen if I’d show my face? He would smile politely, introduce himself and say thanks but I would blush like all my blood rushed to my face, I would hold my breath and shake like a Chihuahua and I wouldn’t be able to utter a single word and he would think I’m retarded or something.
Who in their right mind would be willing to embarrass themselves in front of their celebrity crush?
I’m shy but I’m neither an idiot nor a masochist of any sort. I don’t like the idea of people laughing at me and I really don’t enjoy making a fool of myself, so I stay where I am, hiding like a coward.
I’m sure Ariel, the princess, would’ve walked out from behind the tree and smiled at him as lovely as she is, making him fall for her with a bat of her eyelashes. But I’m not that Ariel, I only have the name and certain similarities. I’m the youngest of seven daughters. My father is a widower. My kingdom is by the water and when I’m in the lake I feel like a mermaid. I saved the handsome prince but that’s as far as it gets. I have the legs to be part of his world, but I don’t have the personality to do it. I fail at that department.
I wish, I wish so badly that I could just get over this fear to humiliate myself in front of him —or anyone. That I could step out and introduce myself. And as I see him still on the ground, still hoping I’ll walk out and show my face, I wish even harder that I could be someone different. I wish I could be a little more like the real Ariel. I bet she wouldn’t have this dilemma.
I guess Harry gives up because he sighs deeply and shakes his head before he stands up and cleans his trousers. I feel a little ache in my chest and I know it’s because he will leave and that will be it. I’ll lose my chance to talk to him.
“It’s okay, I just wanted to say thanks for saving me,” Harry speaks once again and smiles sadly at no one, because he isn’t really looking in my direction.
After that he looks around but this time he’s looking for the way out and not for me. I want to help him and point him in the right direction, but I keep hidden. He finally orientates himself and leaves, still tripping and almost falling as he walks away.
“You’re welcome,” I whisper once I can’t see him anymore and I’m sure he won’t hear me.
I rise to me feet and the cold wind hits me, making me shiver. I was hugging myself whilst I was kneeling there, protected by the bushes and now that I’m on my feet I can totally feel the midnight cold.
I run to the dock where I left my clothes and hurry to dress. It’s only a dress and a jumper, but it’s better than just my wet swimming suit. Once I’m dressed and as my dress starts to get wet as well, I look in the forest direction again, not sure if I hope to see Harry or not.
He came here to look for me, to say thanks and I couldn’t even face him. I had totally accepted that I’m not a people person, that I have this social anxiety that doesn’t let me interact with others, but tonight, as I keep staring at the trees, I wish it were different.
I knew that it was better that the handsome prince didn’t come and show up in my world because I wouldn’t be able to talk to him even if I wanted. I don’t know if Harry is my handsome prince, but he’s kind of one and very handsome. But still. I saved him and I can’t even look him in the eyes and tell him that it was my pleasure to help him.
Well done, Ariel.
Shaking my head, I hug myself and walk to my house, where my father must be sleeping. I don’t get anything by keep wishing things could be different. I can’t change who I am and it doesn’t matter, really. I saved him, he’s okay. That’s all what really matters at the end.
That night I have a funny dream and I guess it’s because I thought so much of the movie. I dreamt I was Ariel the little mermaid. I dreamt that I lived under the sea and I could go anywhere I wanted. And I saw the ship where the handsome prince was. And of course, the handsome prince was Harry.
The ship was burning in flames and I saved Harry, I helped him and took him to the beach but I couldn’t sing to him like in the movie. I tried to sing but nothing came out of my mouth. Not even a single noise and that’s when I wake up, grabbing my throat, scared that I’ve lost my voice completely.
“Oh God!” I say and sigh relived when I can hear myself.
I still can speak.
Even if I don’t speak much, I like knowing I have my voice. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t sing, even if I only sing to myself.
That’s another thing in which the little mermaid and I are different: I would never tread my voice for anything or anyone.
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Dedication to @Just_AnotherWriter_ Thank you for reading my stories! And to answer your question, it doesn't take me that much to plan my stories. I'm super organised and I've been doing this for years, so I have loads of practice.
Bel, xx