Log Date: 19-67-68341
Okay. It's been a few Earth hours since the two cities were destroyed, and our lifescanners are indicating that there is no life in the surrounding areas at all, except for a few small divots in the ground where presumably small creatures have buried themselves. We've sent down drones to begin fanning the dust and smoke away from the large sites. As soon as the death toll rises enough for Earth to be considered habitable again, we will send our entire mini-fleet to compact the atmosphere. With the compacted dust bricks, we'll then follow protocol and use them to build the outline of cities. We have everything we need for that-- but it's my team's job (me, Shylo Caius, and Drephon Bigliess) to scout the area for the best city sites. Then, if we can't find enough biofuel for us to stay alive until the next shipment, we'll leave Earth, and quite possibly never return. This is why we can't grow attached to this planet.
I've just had Caius alter the atmospheric pressure and components in the holding cells, so the humans should be waking soon. I'm very excited to talk to them--I've learned their language and everything. I want to ask them plethoras of questions about their planet, and how they live in such a dangerous and challenging environment. I want to know how their planet is run. How advanced are their global bureaus? How extensive are their global peace programs? These are the questions I want to ask.
I only know they are awake when we hear banging and loud noises from below the deck. Caius sighs and murmurs that he'll get it. "Don't hurt them," I remind gently. He points his thumb straight up. He is back in five minutes, and the noises have stopped. "What did you do?" I ask.
"I just stood in the doorway. Scared them a bit. Then I left."
I nod, and focus back on the task at hand.
Log Date: 19-72-68341
The drones have been equipped! And, also, a quick update: I have learned the humans' names. The tall one with the brown hat thing's name is Jay, and the short one with the yellow hat August. They putter around the ship asking questions and looking at Earth. The only times we let them see their home is when the dust has cleared enough that it looks normal. I know if the humans discover what we've done to their planet too soon, they shall never forgive us and therefore shall become useless to us and to our cause. They will know in due time.
Log Date: 19-73-68341
All is well. The drones have finished their duty, and piles of dust and debris miles high are clearly visible from the Earth's thermosphere. When we land tomorrow, we will have several days' time to travel around the world placing massive compactors to mix water and the dust to create bricks. These bricks will create the foundations for huge cities.
After the compactors have begun their job, the real fun begins. Our team of five, including the humans, will contact Home, and will be assigned a portion of the planet to explore and document. The other two groups, who shall always remain in touch with their leaders (the other two of my species in my team) will get a different section of the world. At the end of the mission, we can either stay on the planet or leave. I have a feeling which one I'll choose.
We'll report our findings, and retire to a life of luxury. I highly anticipate that. I would love to live in Facet 4 someday. It's a lovely planet, with not much atmosphere. It has a crust of solid ice, which incubates the water below. Near the core is the warmest. Instead of compacted dirt, cities below the crust are formed from air. Bubbles. A life on Facet 4 would be content, yet full of adventure. Its conquest was extremely easy. There was no life below the crust. All that had to be done was create cities.
But for now, I shall focus on Earth. We have no way of talking to those on Home until we set up camp and establish a connection. I am extremely excited. Finally, my chance to make a difference in the universe has arrived.
Log Date: 20-1-68341
It did not go well.
Let me elaborate. We touched down near the original site of New York City. The humans definitely were not pleased. The short one crouched down, put his head between his knees and made a shrill keening noise while the tall one just sort of stood there. I didn't understand, and I still don't. I've walked around New York City, and found it just alright. How anyone could form a sentimental attachment to such a place is honestly beyond me. Finally the short one stood, and stared at me right in all four of my eyes. In a low, seething voice that reeks of rage, he said, "Did you do this?"
I answered, "Of course not, you silly human. I authorized the orders and fired the cannons myself, but it was the blast that caused this, not--" And then he attacked me. I am not even remotely joking.
After we pulled the human off of me and got them both back on the ship, admonished them, ("August, I am very disappointed in you,") reset their oxygen levels and the like, we got to work. But the human incident would prove to be only the start of our problems. One of the compactors broke down, and Caius predicted it would take a few days to fix it. On top of that, our communication hub just deCIDED it wasn't going to work today. So now we're stuck here, with humans that are trying quite hard to kill us (although, honestly? It's kind of cute how they try), and two broken pieces of machinery that our entire species needs to survive. Real fun.
Log Date: 20-2-68341
We woke up this morning with the worst banging echoing in our ears. "I got it," I mumbled, and pulled back the thermocurtain and threw on a tunic. The humans were kicking the walls.
When I pushed aside the crates that led to the acrylic floor, the tall one saw me and gave a soft but unrevealing smile, with an added "Oh, there she is." I descended the steps to the holding cells, and punched in the code. When I finally opened the door, both humans were sitting peacefully on the floor.
The short one began. "We have a proposal. Please sit."
Knowing they could not hurt me in any way, shape, or form, I sat.
"We will make a deal. We will tell you everything you need to know about the human race. We will not hurt you, or make any attempts to do so in the future. But! You need to tell us about your species. The scene at New York told us all we need to know about the future of us humans-- I mean, it's bleak. So, you know, might do us some good to hear about you."
"We pretty much just want to know why you're intent on destroying us," interjected the tall one.
The Global Bureau of Safety would like to remind you that conversing freely with sentient beings such as humans is a terribly bad idea and should never be done.
"...Yeah, okay," I said.
But then I thought about it. And this bargain kept making less sense as I kept thinking about it.
"Wait, hang on," I said, "that seems like a ridiculously high profit on my part. What's the catch? Why would you want to help me?"
The tall one scoffed. "Oh, trust me. I don't want to do anything for you, not after you wrecked our home. But anything to ruin the government? Count me in."
I blinked. "Government? What's wrong about your government?"
At this, the short one (I refuse to use their meaningless names) stood, turned his back, and leaned back, raking his fingers through his yellow... hair? all the while making a guttural animal scream. "Where do I even begin?"
To this, I answered, "The beginning, please."
He spun around, flailing his arms much more dramatically than necessary. "The beginning? Well! Let me just tell you, it's been a really long time since 1776. And I mean like a bajillion lifetimes."
"He means about 750 years," the other one added.
"...Earth years?"
"Yes! Of course. And nearly ninety presidents have taken their toll on our country." The short one sat back down, content to be peaceful for once. "All they do is embezzle the money nowadays. Gone are the political mishaps like scandals and too much money for tea. Now we're lucky if the income taxes go down half a percent from, like, nearly seventy percent year to year. Oh boy, and more than half of that money goes to special interest groups, not actual causes for actual people. If we go to vote to lower the rate, we get scorned. Nothing ever changes--" he uncrossed his legs and kicked the wall-- "and I'm sick of it. And now you've come along and, like, killed everyone on the planet. Yeah, some of them we liked or cared about, but it had evolved into a bloodbath, to be honest. People died. Lots. You can't care about anyone for too long, or they'll get taken away from you, and you'll be broken."
A small glance went through the two of them, both of them flushed and seemingly unwilling to talk more. Finally, the tall one said quietly, "So yeah. We'll help you. You're still kind of horrible for bombing the planet, though."
And, unbelievably touched, I said, "Yeah, I know. Thanks."