March 26, 1995
| Los Angeles, CA |
Rih
5:54 AM
I snuggled up against O'shea chest as I heard our bedroom phone ringing. I tried to block it out, but then I felt him start to move, which was now making me uncomfortable.
"Fuck!", I whined as turned over on my side and reaching for the phone on the night stand. "Hello?"
"Hello, is this A'rihana Jackson?",
I Sat up while rubbing my eyes, "Who's this?"
"This is Dr. Myers down at Cedars- Sinai Medical center" he said. "I am sorry to be calling you early this morning and interrupting your rest"
"It's okay...is everything alright?" I asked, concerned.
He paused before answering me, "I'm just calling to speak with you about Shayla Wright and her daughter E'mani Wright, is there a way that you can come down to the hospital now?"
I paused as I felt my heart starting to race. I didn't know what the fuck they were gonna tell me, but then again, she just had her baby and I know I was her emergency contact on her file, so she probably needed someone to drive her home.
"Yeah, sure I'll be there in about 30 minutes...is that fine?"
"Yes Ma'am, just check in with the receptionist and they'll take care of it from there"
"Okay...Thank you", I say as I hung up the phone.
I shook O'shea as I tried to wake him up, causing him to roll over and glare at me with Blood shot red eyes.
"Don't fucking look at me like that, get up", I rolled my eyes as I snatched the covers off me.
"For what?... damn a nigga can never get no sleep", O'shea scoffed as he pulled the covers over his head.
"I don't give a damn!", I raised my voice as I snatched the pillow from under his head" Get up, Shayla needs us to come get her from the doctor"
"Where her momma at?" O'shea yelled as he finally sat up. "She been gone for eight years the least she can do is pick up her ass up!"
I stared at him, then shaking my head, "Man I aint fucking with you", I said while laughing.
I went into the bathroom and took a quick shower, brushing my teeth and then getting dressed. I placed a pair of white sweats, a blue shirt with a pair flipflops, then getting lil O'shea dressed as well. It took us about 15 minutes to get ourselves together.
"O'shea hurry up!", I called from down stairs while getting lil O'shea a snack from the kitchen.
"I don't want that one mommy, I want the cheese crackers", lil O'shea whined as he jumped up and down.
I tipped-toed into the cabinet, grabbing the cheese crackers and handing it to him.
"Here, happy?" I said as I looked at him.
He smiled, then frowned as he examined the pack of crackers. I rubbed my hand down my face as he did the perfect snarl like his dad.
"What's wrong man man?"
He looked at the package then up at me, "The bottom cracker is broken mommy"
I jumped at lil O'shea, causing him to jump back, "You better eat that damn cracker"
"Okay...Okay", Lil O'shea whined as he ran off into the main living room.
I walked back into the living room as I seen O'shea coming down stairs in a light blue flannel with short sleeve, a white t-shirt under it and a pair of sweats. I grabbed my purse off the table as we finally made our way out the door and into the driveway.
The sun was starting to rise slowly over the city. It was so peaceful and beautiful, I thought as I hopped into our jeep as O'shea strapped lil man in. We made our way out of our drive way as we drove towards the interstate to the hospital.
*****
We checked in getting our visitors passes then heading up to the 3rd floor. Once the elevator doors opened, I grabbed lil O'shea hand as we walked down the hallway.
"301...302...303", I mumbled as we finally stopped at Shayla's room.
I furrowed my eyebrows as I seen Kim, Auntie Cassie, Ms. Vanessa and some doctors sitting inside of the room. I looked at O'shea and he grabbed lil man hand from me, pulling him back. I glanced at O'shea once more.
"Nooo.... why.... NOOOOOO"! I heard Kim scream at top of her lungs as she was pushing away from her mother.
"We'll wait out here, Alright?", O'shea said as he picked up lil man and stared at me.
I nodded, turning the door knob and entering the room. I closed the door behind me and watched as everyone turned around, looking at me. I could feel the tension in the air. It was thick.
"What's going on?", I asked as I walked closer to them.
My eyes scanned each of their faces as they all had the same expression. Red eyes, watery and swollen, quivering lips.
"Um...Rih...Umm", Kim stammered as she wiped her tears, "Oh my god. I can't"
"Can't what? what the fuck is going on?", I said as I raised my voice a little.
I watched Dr. Myers stand up and approach me, as I stared at Shayla laying on her bed. I was confused at this point. I thought I got called up here to take her and the baby home, but instead she's sleeping.
"Mrs. Jackson, I need to talk to you for a second" Dr. Myers said after clearing his throat.
He led me outside of the door, and closed it a little. I stared at him, waiting for him to finish what he was going to say.
"Well...?", I asked as I rested my hand on my hip. "What's going on, I thought that I needed to take her home?"
"God please, why did you do this.... God why?" I heard Ms. Vanessa let out a scream filled with devastation.
"Vanessa calm down, stop... your gonna make yourself upset even more!"
I looked up at Dr. Myers with confusion in my face. I watched as he hung his head, then looking at me. I leaned my head to the side as I stared at him. My palms became sweaty and my heart beat faster as I waited for answer.
"Umm...I am so sorry to tell you this.... but...- "
"But What?", I interrupted with a shaken voice.
Dr. Myers looked at me, "She...she didn't make it"
I felt my face crumble up as my lips quivered, "What.... what you talking about?"
"You alright baby?" I heard O'shea voice say behind me, then feeling lil man grabbing my hand.
"Mrs. Wright passed this morning.... she lost a lot of blood during the C-section and it was hard to find blood transfusions...- "
"No...." I said with a menacing I glared up at him with my nostrils flared. "NOOOOO.... NOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO" I screamed as I yanked my hand away from lil man and fell to the floor.
"OHHH MY GOD NOOO GOD NOOOOOOO....NO NO NO NO NO NO NO" I Banged my hands against the cold hard hospital floor.
I felt as if someone stabbed me in the heart and kept twisting and turning it. I continued to scream at the top of my lungs in agony at those horrific words I heard the doctor say to me. It was like everything was in slow motion as I felt O'shea pick my weak body off the floor.
"Leave me alone... I want my best friend.... Shayla", I screamed as I fought my way out of O'shea grasp and ran towards Shayla room.
I burst open the door and ran to Shayla's bed side as I watched her lifeless body lay there, peacefully just like she was sleeping. I jumped up and down in horror as I screamed Shayla name over and over.
"Shaylaaaa......please respond stop playing with me...it's not funny anymore", I cried as I wrapped my arms around Shayla body and rocking back and forth.
The tears flowed down my face as I continued rocking her body, as her mom cried at her bed side and looking on in horror as she hugged Auntie Cassie. Kim was next to her mom, burying her head into her chest.
"Stop playing Shayla...stop playing.... it's not funny LALA stop playing..." I cried as I looked down at Shayla beautiful face.
My heart pounded as I stroked my hand down Shayla face. It was cold, and clammy feeling. My chest heaved up and down as I continued to cry uncontrollably. I haven't realized that O'shea, Yella and Ren, Dre, the kids and Michel'le were entering the room.
"God give her back.... Please give her back Pleaseee takeeee me...it's all my fault" I cried as I rocked Shayla back and forth in my arms.
"Baby.... don't say that!", O'shea sniffled as he rushed over to me.
I continued to Scream as I looked down at her beautiful, angelic face. But I felt like I have lost a piece of myself, indeed I did. I lost my best friend and It was all my fault. If I had not convinced her to give Eric another chance, and she'd just stayed in New York. She would still be alive.
I screamed and shouted as I watched Ms. Vanessa reach over to me and cry a gut-wrenching cry. I laid Shayla's body down as I pulled my shirt over my face and belted out a cry. The whole room was filled with sobs, wept's and screaming, causing the security and doctors to enter the room.
"I am terribly sorry, but we need to take the body out of the room", one of the doctors says.
I cried even harder as I looked around the room. The sun shined brightly through the white curtains and the room was a beautiful color of yellow, pink, and orange. Sunset colors, something that Shayla always loved. Isn't it ironic, that a room and the colors are standing out at a horrible time as such.
I see Shayla had her necklace on, that Eric gave her the night of his Album release party. I unhooked the necklace from around her neck and clenched my fist as I cried harder and harder. Michel'le pulled me into a hug before kissing my cheek.
This was the hardest thing I'd thought I never had to face. My lips trembled as I turned back to watch the doctors lay a sheet over Shayla's body.
"NOOOO.... Shayla noooooo pleaseee", I screamed as I pushed myself out of Michel'le arms and tried to run after the doctors.
"Rih...no baby no...stop you got to be strong!", Ms. Vanessa said to me as she grabbed me and pulling me into her arms.
She continued as she sobbed uncontrollably, and grabbing my face. I stared back at her with pain in my heart, but looking her mom in her face made me cry even harder. The thought of her brothers, her dad, her nephews filled my brain and how they will feel now that they must lay our baby girl to rest.
"You have to be strong for her...she would not want you acting like this...Shayla loved you so much you are her sister, blood couldn't have made Y'all any closer. You are my second daughter and I love you so much too...but you got to pull it together...Shayla wouldn't want this".
"It's not fair ma, if I never would have asked her to move..."
"Stop it! stop it right now A'rihana" she cut me off as she said in an upset tone. "You do not blame yourself for that at all, god has made his choice to call her home and if Eric is called home, they will be together and happy. E'mani will be taken care of regardless.... pull yourself together" Ms. Vanessa says as she placed her hands on my shoulder and lightly shook me.
"Shayla would not want this"
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[A/N : The book isnt over....it will be finished by tonight though so dont leave yet ... <3 ]
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