. HARRY
I was walking towards her cafe. I went to check up on her like I always did. To watch her from the corner of the street, behind all the bushes and all the cars.
It was what I've been doing for the past week.
I could see how she smiled at her customers or how she talked to them or to the boy who was now working with her but me.
And I stopped talking to her because I gave up. There was no point in trying to convince her to talk to me when she clearly didn't want to. She is hurt and it's all because of me. I'll give her space until she recovers and decides to talk to me.
I may never know what happened to her when she was captured by my son of a bitch brother and what he told her.
And I may never find out because she won't talk to me and I can't find James.
For now.
I waited in my usual spot as I noticed the boy with blonde or I don't know, brown hair? I didn't give a fuck about him.
Then only colors that mattered to me were the blue of her eyes and the gold of her hair.
I watched as they worked and worked non stop and finally when the cafe was empty, the boy came outside and started to smoke.
My attention drifted back to her again as she continued to clean the counter she has been scrubbing for the past hour. Stop it, dammit it's clean!
Soon she joined him outside and they both stood there. I knew he was up to no good because when I waited here and watched her I could see how he looked at her. I knew what the look meant because I looked at her like that all day and night long.
The boy handed her a cigarette and my jaw dropped to the floor because she asked him to. When did she start to smoke? How the hell did this even happen? James it's all fucking your fa--
My thoughts stopped. The world came crashing down. Suddenly the air was heavy and it weighed on my shoulders. My eyes and mouth were left wide open. My heart dropped, breaking into hundreds of pieces that I knew I couldn't put back together no matter how many times I tried.
She kissed him.
She kissed him.
She kissed him.
I turned away, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill. When I was ready to look back they weren't there as they had started working again.
Why would she do that?
My plan didn't work?
All along I thought my plan was working. I bought a women's perfume and sprayed it on my clothes whenever I came back from a night out to make her jealous, to see if she cared. To see if I could trigger any emotion inside her even if it turned out to be anger. But she didn't budge.
I would smear my coat with lipstick to see if she noticed them, but she didn't.
I washed away all my anxiety, anger and hurt by drinking and smoking to see if she saw how broken I was. But she didn't.
I made out with one and only one woman the night I was so angry with her but I even stopped in that because none of them would be her. Nobody could replace her.
My plan failed. I failed. We, failed.
I got up and started walking back to the house, not caring if my car was parked only 2 or 3 blocks away.
My steps started to become longer and now I was speeding towards my house.
I was running as I ignored the burning feeling in my lungs from the lack of oxygen or the coldness on my cheeks from my tears or the burning in my legs.
All I felt was my heart breaking into pieces.
She kissed him.
She doesn't love you anymore.
She gave up on you.
You fucked up like you always do.
She doesn't care about you anymore.
You broke her. You hurt her. You ruined her.
And you ruined everything.
Despite all these yelling voices inside my head I couldn't hear anything. My vision was red because of anger and my fists were clenched.
When I reached the house I couldn't control it anymore. I started breaking everything in my way. Vases. Coffee tables. Glasses.
I yelled as I threw everything around.
The room was now spinning and I couldn't see anything. My ears started to ring. I made my way upstairs and as I did, I heard the door being opened.
I didn't care who it was. I was angry. Hell, I could even kill the person.
I made my way to the bedroom and came back down with all her clothes in my hands.
I gathered everything she has and threw them on the ground.
"What... what are you doing?"
Her small and fragile voice broke the silence and the raging storm in my head. Finally.
"Oh! So you can talk!" I yelled at her. I didn't feel anything but rage, hatred and betrayal.
I could see how scared she was but again, the fury had blinded every other emotion.
She came closer and tried to grab my hand. The second her fingertips made contact with my skin, I could feel the water being splashed on the burning flames inside of me but I didn't want her to make me feel like that.
I was bad for her. With me she will never have a chance to have a normal life. With me she would always be scared of my brother or how he could come back. With me, there will never be fully trusted actions or conversations anymore. With me, I would hurt her like I did. With me she would have no future. So there was no other option. I had to do what I always avoided. What I was scared of.
"DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I yelled at her and pushed her hand away. But the force that was blinded by the anger was so much stronger than I thought that made her go crashing down on the floors. I'm sorry.
"What are you doing?!" Now she was yelling. Good. Hate me because that's what you should do. I'm bad for you. He is good for you. I'm toxic.
"Gathering your stuff." I stated coldly. For a second I looked up at her to see what she was thinking or what her beautiful face looked like of but then I darted my eyes away.
But it was time. "Get the fuck out of my house." The words tasted like venom on my tongue.
"What?" She asked. I could feel her jaw drop to the floor.
"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House." No. Please stay. Don't leave me. I need you.
But I knew if she did stay, I would be no good for her.
"Are you deaf? Get out! I don't want to see your face or have you in my house anymore. I'm tired of you. I'm sick of you. Go to him. Beg him to take you in his house. I don't give a shit. Just get out."
I knew she didn't expect me to say that. I knew she was scared and confused as to why I knew that but she didn't say anything because I didn't let her.
"What are you waiting for?" I asked. Waiting for her to pack her stuff and leave not glancing back at me even once because she hated me but what happened was worse.
"I still love you!" She yelled with tears running down her cheeks. And started moving closer to me.
You shouldn't you stupid! I'm bad for you. You won't have a future with me.
"Don't." I brought my hand up and stopped her from getting closer because I knew if she did, I wouldn't be able to control myself. I would tell her I love her too and that would make her stay. But she shouldn't.
"You shouldn't."
"I don't believe it myself either because you hurt me so much in the past 6 months that we were together more than I have ever been in my life and--" I cut her off.
"Get out of my house." Stay. Come kiss me. Yell at me. Kick me and ask me to stay. And I will let you. I will make you.
"Harry, please. I'll--"
"GET OUT!" I yelled. I wasn't able to control it anymore. I knew if we stayed like that a second longer I would go and cup her face, caress her tear stained cheeks and crash my lips to hers and make her mine forever.
So with getting a hold of her clothes I quickly made my way to the door and opened it, throwing them all out.
She went to collect them and when she did, she looked up at me for a second making me have my last glance at her beautiful golden her and her beautiful and mesmerizing blue eyes and her delicate body before I shut the door.
I love you but you're better off with him. I'm no good for you my sweet Elliana. Goodbye my love.
.....
You all should read.
Hello my loves. The next chapter will be an epilogue. BUTTTTTTT before you say anything you should know the book IS NOT ENDING in the next chapter.
There is going to be a whole new book after that chapter which means the story will continue.
Love you all. And HAPPY NEW YEAR!