Slowly I followed Harry up the back stairs towards his flat, I can feel my heart rapidly beating in my chest. I couldn't believe I had actually agreed to come upstairs. What was I thinking? I know the answer to that... I wasn't thinking.
Or maybe I was. There was that small part of me that didn't want to leave. Harry repeatedly told me that tonight was my fault, maybe that small part of me wanted to know exactly what he meant by that. Or so I kept telling myself that anyways.
I watched in silence as he unlocks the back door to his flat, the breeze had picked up sending goose bumps across my skin. Hearing the latch click unlock he pushes the door opened and walks in. I hesitate however, was I really going to do this? I could hear everyone's voice in my head telling me what a horrible idea this was. To run away, get in your truck and speed away without a second glance back. I can hear Tyler's voice in my head, telling me how horrible this was, that Harry was only trouble.
Which all the voices were right, this was a horrible idea, Harry was only trouble and has only brought chaos to my life since day one.
"Are you coming?" his soft raspy voice asked me breaking my concentration.
Pushing all the voices aside and listening to mine only I stepped over the threshold into his flat, if at all possible my heart began beating faster once he shut the door behind me flicking on the hallway light.
Behind me I heard him shuffling around, while I remained frozen in my spot still stunned that I was here. But in the end it was my decision, and mine alone that brought me here. Harry walked around me into his spacious flat. I watched him as he walked away, it was strange how I could make out every muscle in his back flexing and contouring under his loose white t-shirt.
Taking my eyes away from Harry I looked over his flat from my spot, which was easy considering it was an open floor plan. I stood in a small alcove that opened into what appeared to be the living room and kitchen, only separated by a small island. To my left was a closed door, either a bathroom or a closet by my guess. Then to my right was a winding stair case, I'm guess his room was up there since there was no indication of a bed down stairs. Note to self, stay away from those stairs.
I didn't imagine his place being the way it was. I guess I was expecting the dirty, trashed bacholar pad rather than a spottless living area. So cleaned I wonder if he actually lived here.
A low chuckle brought my attention to Harry who leaned against the small island. His piercing green eyes fixed on me as his arms crossed over his chest making his muscles strain against the fabric of his shirt... Lord have mercy.
"Are you going to stand there all creepy or come in?"
My lips twitched into a pathetic smile as I slipped my shoes off, Harry's eyes on me as I did so. "What a water or something?" he asked.
"Water is fine." I said softly taking a few steps further into his flat. I heard him open the fridge as I walked past the kitchen area into the middle of the flat. It had high ceilings through half of it while the other half was cut off by a wall, no doubt the wall of his bedroom. It was incredibly bare I noticed, the walls all painted a pale cream color. The furniture very plane with no personality put into them, on one wall there was a t.v sitting on a large entertainment center filled with dvd's and games. The living room was cut in half by a large sectional black leather couch, screaming male.
I walked around the couch searching for any pictures of Harry, but I couldn't find any not one of him or even of someone else. No family portroit was in sight. Even the fire place mantal was bare except for a candle that appeared to still be in the original packaging. I found it incredibly sad that it seemed so empty in here. There was nothing to bring those happy memories, nothing that would even give you the slightest clue about Harry's live. But maybe that was the way he wanted it.
Harry appeared in front of me holding an open bottle of water, "Wow, you even opened it for me. What a gentleman." I teased him taking the bottle bringing it to my lips.
He raised a brow, "Where you being sarcastic there? I couldn't tell." he mocked.
"Never mind. So why don't you live on campus?" I asked walking around the couch over towards the entertainment center. When he didn't respond I glanced over my shoulder at him to find him intently staring at his own drink a deep crease appearing between his brows.
"Wow don't think to hard about it, wouldn't want you to spontaneously com-bust" I laughed lightly trying to ease the tension in the room.
"Do you enjoy living in the dorms?"
"No, not really. But I got a decent roommate so that makes it a bit easier to deal with it." I explain kneeling in front of the shelves of dvd's looking them over.
"Exactly why I don't live on campus."
Well he did have a point there a pretty good one at that. "So what you decided to just get your own place?" I asked making small talk as I read over the unending titles.
"Not in so many ways" he answered vaguely.
"Do you work?" I pressed him pulling out one dvd that had a completely blank cover to it. I was curious as to what it was but even before I could open it Harry snatched it from my hands putting it back in its rightful spot on the shelf.
"Didn't your parents ever teach you it's rude to go through peoples things?" he whispered in my ear as he bent over me. The closeness of his body ignited a small fire in the pit of my stomach, while his warm breath caused goose bumps to erupt across my skin. I stuttered for a reply as I kept my eyes glued on the dvd's trying to ignore the small tickles of the ends of his curls against my cheeks.
"What? No wise ass reply?" he asked with a soft chuckle in my ear, his warm lips barely touching the skin, but I was fully aware of their presence.
"C-could you back up?" I stuttered my words getting tripped on my tongue. "Why?" his breath fanned across my neck. How could something so warm make my entire skin turn cold?
"I.. I'm having trouble breathing."
It was the truth, my breaths were getting somewhere stuck in the deep pits of my lungs with him this close to me. "You could of fooled me." he whispered still not moving away. Actually he had moved in closer to me, his chest resting against the back of my head now.
"About what?" I asked trying my hardest to control my breaths. The faint smell of his cologne surrounded me, filling me completely as I took in a deep breath. I didn't like this feeling he created deep within me. I felt the control of myself slowly disappearing, and alls I wanted to do was melt in his arms.
"That I would have any type of affect on you." His long fingers began rubbing up and down my arm, and even through my sweater I could feel the warmth of his finger tips leaving a burning trail against my cold skin.
I forced out an unattractive snort in response, he didn't have an affect on me. "You're very stubborn" he reached around with his other hand taking my water from my tight grasp placing it somewhere behind him.
"Am not."
He laughed, "That only proves my point Rae." it was the first time I heard him use my nick name. Was it so wrong that I wanted to hear him say it over and over again? It fell so smoothly from his lips and sounded perfectly dangerous in his low raspy tone. He shifted behind me kneeling on his own knees as I sat between them my heart beat rapidly in my chest as I tried to process all of this.
"This is annoying me" and with those words he took my scraf off my neck throwing it aside without second thought. Nestling his head against the crock of my shoulder and neck he let his lips graze my skin, "Much better"
"Harry?" I questioned shutting my eyes tightly ignoring the fire in my core as he began rubbing his warm hands painfully slow up and down my arms. "Rae?" he breathed. His lips ran along my collar bone but never made any motion.
"You... um never answered my questions."
"Because I don't want to. You ask to many." his voice was clipped and sharp, though his soft actions didn't match at all. I had trouble trying to keep up with it all. "Have you've been thinking of me?" his fingers wrapped around my forearms pulling me back against his solid chest. I knew he was now looking at me but I kept my focus on the movies.
"So you get to ask questions? How is that fair?" I bit at him my fingers fiddling with a loose thread.
"I never said I was fair. Now tell me, have you've thought of me?" he repeated his question.
Of course I have, every day for the past 3 weeks. I haven't stopped, I can't no matter how hard I try. No matter how much I try to convince myself that your a terrible mistake, that this is all wrong that you will only ruin me. But at the end of it all, your all I think about. "Possibly." I gave him an inch because I knew he'd take a mile.
"Tell me" he coaxed his thumbs rubbing smooth circles into my arms as he leaned down placing a chaste kiss to my neck.
"I can't stop..." I finally felt myself caving, to many emotions swirled deep inside me. I felt myself getting swept away from his charming actions, and I couldn't decipher if it was my choice or not.
Suddenly he was shifting behind me again, then having me turn around so I faced him, his hands resting lazily on my waist. My eyes focused on the rip in his faded black jeans at the knee as his no doubtly watched me.
"You can't fight it any more Rae. Just like I can't fight it." he said lowly, pronoucing every word perfectly and slowly so there was no mistaking what he had said.
I looked up at him confused, "Fight what Harry?"
"I know you feel it. I can see it every time you look at me. The fire between us, you can't deny it. It's not going to go away, no matter how hard you try. It'll only get stronger, the more we ignore it." his fingers gripped into my side alerting me of his presence, though my entire body was well aware of him.
He was right, which was the worse part of this all. I felt it, I've felt it every day. But I've ignored it, I have to. I had to leave, that would be the smart thing to do. Leave now and never look back. I could continue ignoring the fire deep inside and focus on my schooling. That's what I should be doing anyways.
"We can't ignore it anymore." his hand traveled under my shirt to the small of my back encouraging me closer to his own body.
"Yes we can." I nodded fighting his movements, but I wasn't even convinced of my efforts. A small grin appeared on his lips, that dimple appearing in his cheek, he wasn't convinced either.
"We could, or we could deal with it now. Don't deny me Rae." a tight knot formed in my lower stomach. Was I denying him? Did I even want him? I searched his deep green eyes, yes I wanted him. I wanted him so badly I ached, for his touch his soft lips against mine again.
"What if I told you how badly I've wanted you." his words stood between us, I was shocked. Had he really just said that? Or did I just imagine his lips forming those words? I opened my mouth to argue further with him, only for his lips to halt that argue.
The small fire ignited in my core as he kissed me, his lips capturing my bottom sucking lightly. He pulled me closer to his body and I didn't fight him this time but allowed him to pull me into his lap as his lips were pressed hungerily against my own, my thoughts having trouble making sense of this all.
My mind screamed to stop, to push him away. But my body wasn't listening whats so ever. Somewhere between all of it I gave it. Allowing my own lips to melt into his, taking in everything and anything about him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders folding my body against his own, my fingers fisting his soft curls. I felt the heat begin to burn between my legs as he took over parting my lips with his tongue not even waiting for any invite before delving his tongue into my mouth.
I gasp for air as I craved more of him. His taste and smell, the small groan when I pushed my body against his despately trying to rid all known space between us. His hands pushed under my shirt leaving a burning trail over my skin as he gripped my waist. He rubbed his tongue over mine filling me with his taste and I was drunk on it, wanting more by the passing second.
I felt one of his warm hands leave my back and I whimpered from the lost of heat. "Hold on" he groaned into my mouth between heated kisses. Wrapping my arms tighter around his neck, he pushed us both up to standing position lifting me from my feet.
Within seconds my back hit the leather couch, my hands greedily pulling him with me. I could feel the smile against his lips as I moaned into his opened mouth. His body laid over mine, one hand supporting him above me, the other pushing my shirt aside giving him access to my stomach. His hand ran over the skin, stopping just under the curve of my bra.
My heart raced in my chest as I forced myself to pull away to catch a breath, but he didn't miss a beat. His moist lips kissed across my cheek and down my neck. I wrapped my arms around his tone back, his heat radiating through his thin shirt. I fisted the fabric as he left opened mouth kisses across my collar bone.
"God the things I want to do to you." he voice rasped against my skin as he grazed the skin of my neck with his teeth.
"Tell me" I demanded panting for breath I propped my foot against the arm rest and he rested his body between my legs. The fire burst in me feeling his warmth against me. I whimpered as he rolled his hips against mine, "Again...please" I breathed closing my eyes. He did just as I begged, rolling his hips over and over again against me.
The sensation woke up every nerve ending in my body. I fought for air, panting as he closed all space between us, his weight resting completely against me, pushing me into the couch. I did all I could to hold onto his shirt as he brought his lips back to mine picking up the heated kiss from where I broke it off. His tongue delved into my mouth quickly, searching every area thoroughly. The hand under my shirt now cupped my breast giving it a gentle squeeze in his palm as he message it.
I moaned loudly, no longer able to hold control over myself. My head spun with emotion but my entire body felt ignited with his touch. I arched my back pushing my own hips against his, the friction of his and my jeans only adding to my pleasure. I could sense the tight bulge restrained against his zipper as he continued rolling his hips against mine in a fast pace rhythm.
I pulled away turning my face to the side, "Harry.. I-I...ca-"
"Don't make me stop..." his voice was raspy and low as he whispered in my ear, his pants of breath fanning over my collar bone. He cupped my cheek turning my face towards him. I met his eyes for the first time in long pleasurable minutes.
It caught me off guard how full of emotion they were, filled with desire and fire as he actions slowing momentarily, "Do you feel me?" he questioned. I felt his hips pressing harder against mine, there was no mistaking what he meant. I could fully feel the affect this was having on him, just the pressure of his hardened member made me moan softly.
A smile formed on his lips, "You do this to me... make me crazy..." he panted, his hand still cupping my cheek, "God... all I want to do is bury myself inside you and feel you tightening around me."
His honest words shocked me, I knew what he meant. But still so raw and real, "I just want to feel you.." he whispered resting his head against my neck, a thin layer of sweat had formed on his forehead sticking to my neck. I rubbed his back urging him to tell me more, "I just want you under me over and over again." he spoke slowly, his rhythmic moves slowing down, his weight collapsing on top of me with a loud groan from his lips.
The tight knot hadn't left my stomach and I could feel the small pool of moisture between my legs from his actions. I prayed he wouldn't be able to tell, I'd be mortified if he did. He trailed his finger tips down over my cheek and neck, resting his hand lazily over my shoulder.
"Do you want that?" he asked raising his head, his piercing green eyes searching mine for answers, his thumb rubbing across my swollen lips.
How did I even answer that question, just the thought made my cheeks flush pink I'm sure. Harry took notice, a cheeky grin plastered to his face, "I'm embarrassing you." he pointed out.
I couldn't say anything, he was still to close to me, the sensation of earlier still lingering with him. "No one's ever talked dirty to you?" he questioned in disbelief.
Well believe it buddy, your the first. "Not... so up front."
"Then maybe I shouldn't tell you everything I want to do to you" he joked letting his head hang as he chuckled softly.
This was a side of Harry I'd never seen. Was this even the Harry I met through Julia? He seemed polar opposite from who he was around everyone else. Usually he was so angry and closed off, now he was telling me these... these, I don't even know how to explain it I was so shocked.
He lifted his head and his eyes shown deep concentration as he watched his thumb running over my lips, "I could make you feel so good Rae." he spoke suddenly, "That's what I want to do to you..." he paused raising his eyes to mine and I saw nothing but pure lust in them, "I want to make you feel good. Better than any other bastard before me."
My heart sank immediately as he spat that last phrase. My thoughts turning to when I made him believe I had sex with Sawyer. But what he didn't know was that, no one ever has made me 'feel' good. Not even close to what he gave me tonight and we were still fully clothed. I had to tell him, and I knew he'd hate me for it.
"Harry.. I-I..." I swallowed hard the lump in my throat, "Rendered speechless." he chuckled lightly at me.
"I'm a virgin" I blurted out, off like a band aid like they say.
I watched as the humor was wiped from his face replaced by confusion, "No your not" he stated, but I could tell it was more for his ears than mine. I shook my head no, "I am..."
He dropped his hand from my cheek leaving it cold and wanting his touch again as his eyes deeply searched mine and I saw the anger enter them, "But that... you fucking lied to me?!" he raised his voice pushing himself off me so quickly he almost stumbled backwards off the couch.
"Harry, I just.. I wanted to.." I searched for the right words but the hurt written all over his face made the words disappear.
"Wanted to what?" he spat at me, "Make me jealous? Hate Sawyer more than I already do? Was that some sick game to you?" he stood quickly, his body looming over my own as I sat up right on the couch adjusting my shirt.
"No it's not, I just... you made me out to be some innocent girl. I just ..." I had no defense for myself so I shut my mouth.
"So fucking what! You lied to me!" he shouted raking his fingers through his curls tugging at their roots.
"I'm sorry!" I pleaded with him. But when he turned his icy glare at me, I knew it wasn't enough.
"You're sorry? You lied! And for what? So you'd seem like some slut?" he said disgusted. "Acting like a slut won't get a guy to like you."
I narrowed my eyes at him, "No.. but it will most certainly get your attention" I said lowly. I pushed myself from the couch and walked around him. I quickly padded over to my shoes shaking as I tried to slip them on.
I wish I kept my mouth shut and hadn't told him. Then we wouldn't be here arguing about my lie to him, that he was just blowing up. "Where are you going?" he voice boomed behind me.
"Leaving, you clearly don't want a slut around" I spat the word at him with venom. I gripped the cold door knob in my hand swinging open the door only for him to slam it shut with his hand. I could feel the heat from his body directly behind me.
"Harry" I warned, and tried to open the door again. But his strength kept it closed. "I will not stay here while you accuse me of being a campus slut."
It was quiet for a moment, neither of us moving. I heard his deep breaths behind me, "Stay with me tonight then."
What?
"I'm not having sex with you Harry"
"I never asked you to. I just- can't you just fucking stay here because I asked?" I could hear the hurt in his words, I'd offended him because I jumped to conclusions. Well forgive me, after the episode we just had I thought that'd be the first thing on his mind.
"Why?" I was curious.
"Just stay. Do you really need a reason?" he asked. I hung my head letting my hand fall from the door knob.
"I'm sleeping on the couch." I stated before slipping off my shoes, his hand dropped from the door and I heard him pad across the wooden floor. Hearing the stairs creak, I took that as he was sleeping in his own bed, and we were calling it a night.
I walked over to the couch and plopped down. How did I get in this position? Oh right, because I choose to go against my better judgment. The creaking of the stairs sounded again followed by heavy footsteps.
I looked up to see Harry looking down at me a blanket and pillow in his hands. "Thanks" I mumbled returning my gaze up towards the high ceiling. He placed them at my feet then held something else out for me. I looked at him questioningly.
He sighed, "It's just a fucking t-shirt" he grumbled shaking the shirt for emphasize. I pushed it away, "I'm perfectly comfortable in my own clothing."
"Fine" he dropped the shirt to the floor, "Be stubborn."
I scoffed at him and listened as he walked around the flat, doing something in the kitchen I suppose as I heard the sound of water turning on. "The showers upstairs if you need it. The downstairs bathroom is only a half bath." he called out to me.
I didn't reply, I was to busy trying to figure out when I'd have to wake up to make it back to campus and to my creative writing lecture on time. If I woke up at 6, I should be good, I'd get back to the dorms, take a quick shower and I'd still have time to grab a coffee. I was too busy thinking about time to notice Harry return.
I looked over at him, "What, have another insult for me?"
The crease between his brows became prominent once again as he shook his head no, "You're not a slut." he said quietly.
"But you lied to me..."
I let out a small breath, "I shouldn't of." I said sorry, without actually saying it.
"My father used to lie to me all the time" he said out of nowhere then his eyes locked with mine, "I hate liars" he spat before walking away disappearing upstairs.
Author's Note:
Phew... that was fun to write heheeehehe. I've been writing the chapters a bit longer than I usually do. I quite enjoy it :) Anyways hope you liked this chapter let me know in the comments below and don't forget to vote! Thanks to everyone who has been voting it means a lot to me :)