Chapter Twenty Nine
"He's okay. kailangan nya lang ng one week na pahinga. and his hands. bawal magalaw yan ng two weeks. sobrang lakas ng hampas ng kahoy sa braso nya namamaga pa. you can go home pag gising nya." tumango nalang ako sa sinabi ng doctor saka nagpasalamat.
nasa hospital kami ngayon. si Steven tulog pa. tahimik lang ako saka sumandal sa gilid ng kama nya. tinignan ko sya.
kanina nagulat talaga ako nung bigla kaming bumagsak sa sahig. hindi ko namalayan na may malalaglag pala sakin. isang bungkos ng kahoy na tinanggal ng mga tao. hinangin ng malakas kaya tumaob.
and seeing Steven's bloody face gave me a mini heart attack.
if i wasnt that careless then maybe di sana sya nakahiga sa kamang to.
i pressed my lips tight. i'm still furious about what happened.
hindi pa ko tapos sa mga tao sa relocation site. that was so careless. dapat sinesafety nila lahat ng bagay!
at eto nanaman yung pakiramdam na yun. naiiyak nanaman ako sa nangyari. ayoko talaga ng may nasasaktan dahil sakin. kung hindi nya sana hinarang yum eh di sana ako nalang yung natamaan.
the guilt keeps on eating me inside. at kahit anong ireason out ko sa sarili ko wala talaga. sobrang naguiguilty ako.
"shit Alexis. youre so careless." i hissed. i really hate myself.
nung gumalaw si Steven lumapit ako sa kanya. dumilat sya saka tinignan ako. "sino ka? nasaan ako?"
napanganga ako saka binatukan sya sa noo. "dont make a fool out of me Steven. wala kang amnesia." nakasimangot na sabi ko. he chuckled softly. see. nang aasar lang sya. nakaratay na nang aasar pa rin.
"Joke lang." natatawang sabi nya.
"kamusta pakiramdam mo?" i whispered softly and bit my lips.
"ang sakit ng likod ko." mahinang sabi nya. i bit my lips harder.
"i'm sorry." i whispered. thats all i can say. nalasan ko nalang na umalat yung labi ko. damn. nasugat pala.
"Geez Alexis! stop biting your lips. nasugat ka na." nakasimangot na sabi nya. i sighed and looked at him.
"sabi ng doctor bawal mo daw igalaw muna yung right arm mo for two weeks. and bed rest for one week."
"Pero pano ako kakain? pano ko magtratrabaho?"
"i'll take care of the office. and for your meals. ako na din bahala."
"its your fault. dapat alagaan mo ko!" he demanded. i raised my brows and looked at him sternly.
"Never asked you to shield yourself for me." i said coldly.
"eh sige wag na. hindi naman ako ang makokonsensya." nakangising sabi nya.
"Right. i can hire a private nurse Steven. hindi ako ang mag aalaga sayo." i said firmly and went out.
nag guiguilt trip lang si Steven but i'm serious as hell. hindi ko aalagaan si Steven.
inayos ko nalang yung bill namin sa hospital saka binalikan si Steven. tinulungan ko syang magbihis para makauwi na kami.
"panu ako mamayang gabi?" he asked while i driving. i gave him a glance and put my eyes back on the road.
"nakakuha na ko ng private nurse mo kanina sa hospital. he'll just finish his duty then he'll go straight to your condo." i said calmly.
"he?" tanong nya. nakakunot noo. i raised my brow and looked at him with amusement.
"alangan naman She." i let out a humorous laugh.
"bat hindi nalang ikaw?" he asked.
"because i dont want to."
"scared of being with me?" nakangising sabi nya. i chuckled softly.
"scared? dont think so. wala ka namang magagawa sakin na hindi ko gusto. but the thing is. i'm not just busy with Steadlex. i have
Lexecon. my riding club and the renovations of SFH stores. kung ako ang mag aalaga sayo parang wala lang. i wont be around always. dont raise your hopes Steven. youre presence wont stir me." matabang na sabi ko.
"Jeez! youre brutally honest." mapait na sabi nya.
di na ko nagsalita. pagkadating namin sa Empress Tower pinark ko yung kotse nya saka inalalayan sya papunta ng elevator.
"bat di ka na pumupunta dito sa unit mo dito?" tanong nya pagpasok namin sa unit nya.
"Its no longer in my name. kay Vincent na yan." pinaupo ko sya sa sofa. "what do you want for dinner?"
"You." tumaas ang kilay ko sa sinabi nya.
"Me?"
he cleared his throat. "i mean, ikaw na ang bahala. may groceries naman dyan sa ref." tumango lang ako saka pumunta sa kusina niya. nilabas ko yung frozen chicken saka binabad sa tubig. magluluto ako ng Tinola.
"di ba dapat last year ka pa nakabalik? bat hindi ka bumalik?" he asked. nasa likod ko na pala sya nakaupo sa stool.
"kasi hindi ko naman kailangan bumalik agad. wala akong babalikan." simpleng sagot ko saka hinalo yung niluluto ko.
"o hindi ka lang bumalik kasi nandito ako?" tanong nya. i gave him a lopsided grin.
"wag kang feeling Steven. kahit isa sa desisyon ko ngayon wala kang kinalaman. hindi ako bitter."
"pero ako oo." he whispered something na hindi ko naintindihan.
"Huh?"
ngumiti sya. "You've changed." puna nya.
"everybody does."
"i miss the way you are before." mahinang sabi nya. i threw him a glance and did not answered him.
"and those times that we-"
"And are we going on a trip down the memory lane?" matabang na putol ko sa sasabihin nya.
"No, i'm just telling you how i missed that old you." tumingin ako sa sahig bago ko sya tinignan.
"well. you can miss the old me. just dont share it with me." matabang na sabi ko.
"why? scared of falling in love with me again?" nakangising sabi nya. i chuckled and faced him.
"dont flatter yourself Mr.Gonzales. once i finished my business here i'm flying back right to Italy." tumigas bigla yung anyo nya.
"that doesnt answer my question." he hissed.
"i'm not scared of falling inlove you, Steven. i'm done with that part. and promise. it wont happen again. not if i can help it." ngumiti ako sa kanya saka pinatong yung niluto ko sa harap nya. "Kumain ka na."
***
nakaupo ako sa mini garden ni Steven. kanina pa actually simula nung umalis ako sa kusina. hindi man kasi ako gutom.
what he is doing really puzzle me a lot. umaarte syang mahal nya ko.
at bakit nya gagawin yon? anu bang mapapala nya? he thinks i'll buy it? ganun ba? well news flash. he can stop doing whatever he's doing kasi tapos na ko sa kanya. i dont have anything to do with him except with Steadlex.
tinawagan ko yung nurse na kinuha ko. one hour pa daw. tapos naman na yung duty nya. may inaayos pa lang kasi sya.
"Kumain ka na." nilingon ko ng konti si Steven saka binalik yung mata ko sa langit.
"Busog pa ko. sige na." i replied.
"its not good for women to skip their meals." sabi nya saka umupo sa tabi ko.
"and i think you need to rest too. halika na." hinila ko ulit sya patayo. pero hinila nya ko pabalik sa upuan kaya napaupo ako sa harap nya. niyakap nya agad ako sa bewang.
"Let me go." i hissed softly.
"pwede bang eto nalang yung bayad mo sa pagligtas ko sayo? can we stay like this for just Ten Minutes." sabi nya saka niyakap ako lalo. he buried his face in my hair.
pinabayaan ko nalang sya. tutal may utang na loob din naman ako sa kanya.
tahimik lang sya habang yakap ako. na para bang takot sya na kapag may sinabi sya aalis ako sa harap nya.
i never let any man be this close to me. kahit nung nasa States ako. si Steven palang talaga.
coz admit it or not. natakot din kasi akong mainvolve kahit kanino. well except for Theo. nakakatrauma naman talaga eh.
i almost got married. and the stupid supposedly groom ran away and be with somebody else on the day of the wedding.
ironic isnt it. he ran away from me and now he act as if he still loves me.
if only he married me. he would get to hug me unlimited. but things have changed now. and like what i said. what he did served its purpose.
"Your ten minutes is over." i said sternly. ngumiti sya saka tumayo. he wiped his tears and went inside to my bewilderment.
umiiyak sya?
***
"and i think you need to rest too. halika na." hinila ako ulit patayo ni Alexis pero hinila ko sya pabalik sa upuan kaya napaupo sya sa pagitan ng hita ko. niyakap ko sya agad sa bewang.
"Let me go." she hissed softly.
"pwede bang eto nalang yung bayad mo sa pagligtas ko sayo? can we stay like this for just Ten Minutes." sabi ko saka niyakap sya lalo. i buried my face in her hair.
how i miss this. having her in my arms. i used to have it for free. but now. i have to get hurt to have a reason to hug her.
God. if only i can make this moment a little bit longer.
kung pinakasalan ko sana sya eh di dapat kahit gaano karaming yakap. okay lang. libre lang. pero dahil tumakbo ako sa kasal. kailangan kong magkasya sa sampung minuto na nakayakap sa kanya para maibsan yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.
kung nasa ibang panahon lang sana ako. kung hindi ko lang kailangan gawin yung mga bagay na ginawa ko. sana masaya na ko sa tabi nya.
the way she smell makes me wanna cry. i miss how she was before.
and those bitter sweet memories we shared. good or bad.
how i miss her. those smiles that tells me everythings fine.
those eyes that send warm feeling to my heart.
i miss her so much that it hurts!
"Your ten minutes is over." she said. tumayo ako saka ngumiti. pinunasan ko yung luhang tumulo sa pisngi ko saka pumasok sa loob.
***
"Make sure he'll take his medicines on time. call me if you need anything or if there's any problem here. okay?" tumango sakin yung nurse na hinire ko para kay Steven.
"what about his meals?" He asked.
"i'll go here every morning to cook for his food for the whole day." tumango lang sya. sinilip ko muna si Steven bago ako umalis. nandyan naman na kasi yung kotse ko eh. pinadala ko dito kanina kasi alam kong gagabihin ako.
habang nagmamaneho ako pauwi napapaisip ako.
wala pa kasi akong nakitang bagay na iniyakan ni Steven.
bat sya umiiyak?
hindi ko kasi maintindihan. bat mo.iiyakan yung taong iniwan mong luhaan? i cant see the logic in that.
when you leave someone. it means you dont have anything to do with her.
eh bakit sya umiiyak ngayon? ako ba yung iniiyakan nya o yung nangyari samin dati? nagsisisi ba sya?
i think its too late for that now. like the saying goes. nasa huli ang pag sisisi.
pinagsisihan nya siguro yung araw na iniwan nya ko. di nya siguro.akalain na kaya kong maging ganito kaganda. stupid Steven.
i could give him so much more. but he already gave up on me.
"if only you waited Steven. if only you stick up with me. you would be so happy right now. coz you see. i could give you so much more."
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A/N:
comment naman dyan mga kapatid. daya nyo eh.
★PR ;)