(Breakeven by The Script is a good song to play for this chapter. Especially when I start writing more of Leon's thoughts. Like the first divider. But just a suggestion, it just helps set the scene. And I think it's a good indication of the way Leon feels. Enjoy! xx)
DID SHE HATE him?
She doesn't know.
Did she like him?
She doesn't know.
What she did know is that she didn't deserve his forgiveness. At least, not at this moment. Especially when it seemed like steam would be emitting from his ears any moment.
Did she expect his hostility?
Hell yes.
Did she expect the same hostility from his boyfriend otherwise known as Diego?
Not at all.
She knew they were close but she had hoped that Diego wouldn't give her the cold shoulder as well when his relationship had ended with his boyfriend because of the same reason.
Francesca had given up on trying to get Leon and Diego to talk to her two days ago, four days after their 'breakup'. Could she even call it a breakup? They were still technically together. It felt weird knowing that she was one of four in the entire world that knew that they were really over.
Francesca felt bad about it don't get her wrong, but when did it become so forbidden to follow your heart and go after love? She had always been taught that love was special, and that it should be cherished and that if you believed in it you should never let it get away from you. And wasn't that exactly what she was doing by secretly going out with Caio?
Wasn't Leon actually the wrong person by trying to deny her love? Or at least the closest thing she had come to love.
Last night she went out with Caio, their first official yet unofficial date. They had had a picnic at the set, Caio had talked the guards into letting him have one part of the beach so that he could 'rehearse'. Yeah rehearse some kissing scenes.
The physical side of their date aside, she really did have a good time. Caio had a sense of humour and never failed to make her laugh, he was also an amazing chef and to top it off he could dance. It was one of the reasons why he was the immediate choice for the part, since his character was quite the dancer.
And for the first time in three days she didn't think of Leon at all, and that was probably the best part.
It was nice to get out with somebody who knew the truth that wasn't Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum for once. She was shocked that he didn't even have a problem with the fact that she may be forced to kiss Leon here and there, and that he was actually the other guy.
But today, Francesca decided, she would try again with Leon. Maybe she didn't have feelings for him the way she thought she did, but she wanted to be friends.
Even Francesca herself was getting a headache with the all-over-the-place decisions she had recently been making. At one point she was convinced that she had platonic feelings for Caio and romantic feelings for Leon, but four days ago as her lips touched Caio's she found her feelings switched.
Maybe if she stayed with Leon longer then her feelings for him would be stronger, the way they were for Caio?
But maybe they wouldn't be.
I made the right decision, she told herself.
And she believed the voice.
* * *
HE WAS ACTING like an ass.
Scratch that, he was an ass.
Every single attempt she made to talk to him—what did she get?
"Fuck off Francesca,"
Wasn't he a warm ball of sunshine?
Okay okay, she deserve it. But in her defence. . .she followed her heart?
Oh who am I kidding, Francesca thought.
Leon was being blatantly obvious about his feelings towards her. Hatred. Anger. And she caught that whiff of what seemed to be disappointment whenever he whizzed past her.
Like right now. Or well, he was trying.
"Fuck off Francesca," Leon hissed.
He came off as cold but she didn't know how much he was hurting on the inside. His heart broke more and more each time he saw her, especially when he saw her smile. That fucking killed him.
Because she was with somebody else, somebody that wasn't him. Somebody who was just as famous, and with hair that may just be a little better than his.
Because she was happy, she was happy without him.
There was nothing worse to him than knowing that he didn't really mean that much, that he didn't have such an impact on her life that she had on his.
Diego, being the caring person that he was, tried all that he could to help Leon, but it didn't do much. Maybe if it was any other girl he wouldn't have minded that much, girls hadn't always meant much to him when he had Diego, and Diego was enough.
But Francesca was just too different.
He hated himself for getting so hung up over a girl. He had acted in a movie in which the couple broke up, and they couldn't sleep, eat, they felt like they couldn't breathe without each other. It was hard for him to really put himself in their shoes—he won an award for it nevertheless but that's not the point.
He had sworn to himself that he would never become that kind of person. Nobody was worth it, nobody should have to make you feel like you were nothing without them.
And yet here he was.
"No, you need to listen to me," Francesca says firmly.
That was the most determined she had sounded in the last few days, maybe she meant it? Doesn't matter, Leon told himself.
"What?" He asks feigning indifference, when he really was interested.
"I want to be friends," She says.
Hah, no.
"No," He breathes, and she takes a deep breath as if she expecting it.
Of course she was, she knew that he was angry with her. He would expect it if the tables were turned.
"We were starting to become good friends before it happened," she reminds him.
It.
He shuddered at the memory of it.
It. It. It.
He was practically taunting himself. The last time he had done this was when he had started to try out drugs. He shook his head, he shouldn't remember those times.
He mustn't.
They were dark, haunting times. He almost lost himself, he almost got washed away. And when the water wanted to take you with it, you'd be powerless. That was what it felt like.
And Francesca was starting to become his new drug.
"Well I'm glad that all your felt for me was friendly, but that was one sided. So good for you that you're all happy, but some people actually feel betrayed when they're cheated on," Leon finally responds.
"Leon. . ." she pleads.
"No. Obviously I didn't make myself clear a few days ago. I think you're a bitch Francesca, I really do. I didn't always, for some time I thought you were nice and that we actually had something, but nope. You're even worse to constantly talk to me when you know that I don't want to talk to you because you broke my heart. You fucking hurt me.
"But you don't seem to care do you? You just care about yourself and trying to clear the fucking waters with me so that you will have a clear conscience. Well newsflash not every-fucking-thing is about you. Sometimes other people's feelings matter. And you need to get it through that thick skull of yours that I'm angry with you.
"I don't care what you have to say because I know that all of it will simply be lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. That's all you are. That's all that you've done since I've met you. Lie. Because you are fucking liar who plays with people's feelings. Even in the beginning you hated me without even knowing anything about me, because you don't care.
So please stay out of my life as much as possible in our situation. Because I really do hate you, and I'm shocked that you don't hate yourself. I wouldn't be able to sleep, I'd probably smash every goddamn mirror so that I didn't have to see myself because I'd be disgusted. So, for hopefully the last time. Fuck off Francesca,"
And she did, all the way up to her bedroom, to her desk, to her laptop. She began typing fast, wiping her eyes because of stray tears every now and then. And as she pressed the enter button, she was sure of a few other things.
1. She was angry.
2. She didn't deserve that.
3. He kinda deserved this.
4. He would never ever forgive her.
To be honest, she wasn't even sure if she would forgive herself.
___
What did she do? You're definitely in for something in the next chapter! I quite like writing Leon's rants. I will try to catch up on Marciego as well. And as I'm writing, I'm really not sure what to do with the ending. Gah.
Thanks for reading 🙈 Sorry for any errors 💚
~Lexy 😈