******
I was walking on the pathway towards them. Whenever I was here, lalo lang akong nakakaramdam ng guilt at hindi iyon nababawasan. The pain never subsided. Maybe it will forever be with me.
I put the two baskets of flowers down beside the two marble tombstones of Baby Gab and Baby Abby. When I was asked before what names I should be putting on their tombstones, I decided to name them after me and Abby dahil di ko rin naman alam kung ano ang gender nila.
I lit up the candles that I brought with me and put them beside the two marble stones. I uttered a short prayer for them.
"Kamusta na kayo? I hope you're both doing good. Parang gusto ko na ngang magtampo sa inyong dalawa because you both visited Mama in her dreams for five times already pero sa akin ayaw n'yong magpakita. Mama is now more than eight months pregnant. Ilang weeks na lang and we'll be seeing your baby sister already." I looked up as my eyes clouded with tears and looked back at the two marble stones again.
I blew out a harsh breath of air. "I'm really very sorry for everything. Kung naging good lang sana ako kay Mama before, hindi sana kayo nadamay na dalawa sa mga naging kasalanan ko sa kanya. I will forever be sorry and regretful. I hope you could forgive papa because I'm still deeply guilty and hurting when I lost you both because of my negligence. I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry." I wiped my tears with the back of my hands pero patuloy pa rin sa pagtulo ang mga iyon.
"I really hope that one day ay maamin ko na kay Mama lahat ng mga kasalanan ko sa kanya so I could bring her here with me para makita n'yo na rin siya. And I really hope na sana she could forgive all my mistakes kapag nalaman na niya ang lahat ng mga nangyari before her accident. Babawi si Papa sa inyo through Hash. I will take good care of your little sister--" Napahinto ako sa pagsasalita at biglang parang may sumipa sa dibdib ko when I heard two children's voices behind me. Bigla kong naalala iyong mga kwento ni Abby about sa mga panaginip niya these past months.
I slowly turned to look behind me at napaiyak na lang ako ng husto. Siguro ganito rin ang feeling ni Abby everytime na nagpapakita sila sa kanya sa mga panaginip niya. They're here! They finally showed themselves to me. They're running and catching each other tulad ng mga kwento ni Abby sa akin.
I was just here sitting on the grass on bended knees, crying my heart out as I was watching them playing with each other happily. Kung hindi lang sana ako nagpakatanga noon, I'm still going to see this scene in reality in the future when they grow up and reach this age.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered while crying. Nagulat pa ako nang bigla silang lumingon sa akin.
"Papa!" they shouted at the same time kaya napahagulgol na talaga ako.
"I love you both," I said with a trembling voice.
"We love you, too, Papa!" they shouted again in unison.
Napayuko na lang ako saka nag-iiyak. But what surprised me the most was when I saw two pairs of little feet in front of me. When I looked up, they both smiled at me and leaned over to hug me. I wrapped my arms gently around their small bodies.
"Papa loves you two so much. I hope you could forgive Papa."
The little girl touched my face and wiped my tears with her small fingers. "You didn't mean for us and Mama to get hurt. We know that Papa. Na-forgive ka na po namin noon pa."
"Wag ka na po ma-guilty, Papa. And we still love you po and Mama and baby Hash even if we couldn't be with you," said my little boy.
"Kaya wag ka na po mag-cry, Papa," my little girl told me while smiling sweetly that resembled her mom's smiles.
"Papa, please kiss Mama and baby Hash for us, okay?" the little boy said.
"Of course. I'll kiss Mama and baby Hash for the both of you."
They embraced me again and I embraced them back habang iyak lang ako nang iyak until they both disappeared in my arms. Napalingon ako ulit sa dalawang tombstones sa likod ko. I touched the marble stones. "Thank you! Thank you so much. You made Papa very happy."
Napabalikwas ako ng bangon sa kama. I was panting heavily and I was sweating all over. It was just a dream but it looked so real and it meant so much to me. I looked on Abby's side, she was still sleeping peacefully.
I quickly got out of the bed and immediately went inside our bathroom. I sat on the floor and leaned my back against the wall at ginawa ulit ang matagal ko nang hindi nararanasan na huling kong ginawa noong mga panahon pa na naaksidente si Abby and she's fighting for her life--ang umiyak nang umiyak.
They showed themselves to me! Hindi talaga ako makapaniwala. I just sat there while crying and trying to remember again and again what happened in my dream.
I'd been so guilty for the past year. After Abby got into her accident and while she was still in coma, ipinagawa ko ang dalawang tombstones na iyon for the memories of our two unborn children. Since then, I was visiting them every twice a week. Natigil lang iyon noong dinala ko si Abby sa island. Pero pagbalik namin ay itinuloy ko ulit ang palaging pagbisita sa kanila.
But that dream. It was as if I was transported in that cemetery a while ago while I was sleeping. It felt like it really happened in reality.
For the past year, sobrang inuusig ako ng konsensya ko. I was so sorry pero pakiramdam ko ay hindi sapat iyon dahil hindi ko naman sigurado kung magagawa ba talaga akong patawarin ng mga anak ko. But that dream gave me the peace of mind that I needed so badly. Despite of me being a neglectful father, they still forgave me and said that they love me.
Even if it was just a dream, their touch and their embrace felt so real to me. Alam ko at sigurado na ako ngayon na nagawa na talaga nila akong patawarin. Parang may naalis na sobrang bigat na bagay na nakadagan sa dibdib ko.
I closed my eyes tightly. "Thank you so much for showing yourselves to me. Thank you so much for the forgiveness and peace of mind. Mahal na mahal ko kayo, mga anak."
I just sat there and cried until I heard some knocks on the bathroom door.
"Gab, okay ka lang? I heard you crying," sabi ni Abby sa labas ng pinto habang sunud-sunod na kumakatok.
Pinahid ko ulit ang mga luha ko bago tumayo. I splashed my face with some water and dried it up with the towel before I went out. Abby's worried stricken face met me. She hugged me immediately.
"Gab, ano ba'ng nangyari? May problema ka ba?" She was caressing my back while asking that.
Inilayo ko siya saka umiling. I smiled at her before I showered her face with small strings of kisses. Sobra-sobra pa sa halik na hiniling ng dalawang anak namin. "I'm so happy, Abby. Mahal na mahal kita. Mahal na mahal ko kayo ni Hash." I embraced her tightly. Mahal na mahal ko ang mga anak natin.
She pushed me a little. "Gab, naiipit iyong tiyan ko."
Napalayo ako bigla. Hinaplos ko ang tiyan niya bago yumuko at iyon naman ang pinaghahalikan ko. Hey there, little princess. Your ate and your kuya wants me to kiss you for them. They said they love you too. I gave Abby's tummy another kiss before I stood up straight and gaze at her. She was giving me a confused look.
"Ano ba talaga ang nangyayari sa iyo, Gab? Ang weird mo."
I smiled at her. "Freedom from guilt, Abby." Then I embraced her. Though not yet completely free. Ikaw na lang ang problema ko, Abby.
******
"Gab, para ka talagang ewan. Kagabi narinig kitang umiiyak sa bathroom pero ang saya-saya mo naman. Then since this morning until now, you were grinning like a Cheshire cat. Baliw lang, Gab?" sabi ni Abby sa akin while I was driving.
"Masaya lang talaga ako and excited at the same time. Ilang weeks na lang makikita at makakasama na talaga natin si baby Hash."
Napanguso siya. "Di talaga bagay sa iyo ang mag-senti." Natawa siya.
I parked our car on the hospital's parking lot. We're going to visit Misty because she already gave birth to a baby girl yesterday.
Inalalayan kong makababa ng kotse si Abby. Hirap na siyang gumalaw at maglakad dahil malaki at mabigat na ang tiyan niya. Ikinabit ko ang face mask at ikinawit sa magkabilang tainga niya.
She rolled her eyes on me. "Do I really need to wear this, Gab? Ang OA mo talaga."
I kissed her forehead. "Yes, Mrs. Montreal. Wag ka nang umangal at makipagtalo. Baka makasagap ka pa ng kung anong virus diyan sa loob. Kung di ka lang mapilit, di naman kita isasama dito eh." I wrapped my arm around her waist. "Let's go."
We finally reached Misty's hospital suite. I knocked on the door. Nagulat pa ako sa nagbukas niyon.
"Waaaah! Look who's here! Gabriel Joaquin Montreal is in the house!!! Ay mali pala! Gabriel Joaquin Montreal is in the hospital!!! Kyaaaaaaah!"
Tangina, ito ang may mala-megaphone na bungangang bestfriend ni Misty since college. Si Jones.
Sunod kong narinig ang malakas na pag-iyak ng isang sanggol.
"What the eff! Hoy Alien, pag di ka tumahimik, palalayasin kita dito sa suite ni Misty! Look what you did! You woke Yesha up!" Narinig kong mahinang sigaw ni Yuseff.
Napalabi si Jones. "Sorry po, boss. Tatahimik na po, boss," sabi nito bago kami binalingan. "Pasok kayo. Wow, laki na ng tummy mo, Miss Abby." Her eyes were shinning as she stared at Abby's baby bump habang inaalalayan ko paupo sa sofa. I removed her face mask.
"Beware, Gab. Di ko iyan pinapalapit kay Misty when she was pregnant. Ingatan n'yo iyang baby n'yo at baka mabiktima niyan," sabi pa ni Yuseff sa amin sabay turo kay Jones.
Biglang tumawa iyong nurse na nagtatanggal ng dextrose ni Misty. "Tiktik lang? Aswang? Akala ko ba alien iyan?" Lumingon ito sa amin and smiled sweetly. "Hi, Gab! Hi Abby!"
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Fiolla?!" Isa naman itong kaibigan ni Misty noong high school na nag-aral sa America for college. Shareholder and pamilya nila sa university namin noon kaya madalas siya sa uni kapag nagbabakasyon. "May mini reunion pala kayo dito ah." I looked at Abby. "Honey, can you remember them?"
Her forehead creased. "Si Fiolla. She was the one who treated your wound noong napaaway ka doon sa lalaking sinabi mo na nanilip sa cleavage ko dati. Pero siya..." she pointed on Jones. "Hindi ko siya maalala."
"Wow! Grabe, ang choosy naman ng amnesia mo, Miss Abby. Di nakakaalala ng maganda," nakangusong sabi ni Jones kasabay ng mas malakas pang pag-iyak ng baby.
"Oh shut up, Alien! Yesha doesn't like liars. See? Lalong umiyak," Yuseff said again.
"Ang iingay n'yo! Dapat kami lang ni Yesang ang nag-iingay! Moment namin 'to eh!" sigaw ni Misty sa amin. "Kuya Wacky! Abby! May kalaro na si baby Hash n'yo oh," turo nito sa baby na karga ni Yuseff. "Tingnan n'yo ang ganda-ganda ni Yesang. Kamukhang-kamukha ko siya!"
"Sweetheart, it's Yesha. Yesha Marie Torres. Do not call her Yesang," Yuseff said.
"Paki mo ba, Sungit! Eh iyon ang gusto kong itawag sa kanya eh. Di ba, Yesang ko?" Inilahad nito ang mga kamay sa harap ni Yuseff na pailing-iling dahil sa kakulitan ng pinsan ko. "Akina nga, Sungit. Pakarga sa baby ko."
Yuseff carefully put Yesha in Misty's arms. Nakamasid lang kami ni Abby sa kanila habang nakangiti. Soon, kami naman ang makaka-experience ng ganitong eksena. Lalo tuloy akong na-excite na makita na si baby Hash ko.
"Sige lang, Yesang, cry ka lang nang cry! Lakasan mo pa, baby! Very good, anak! Very good! Manang-mana sa mommy!" sabi ni Misty habang tawa nang tawa sa malakas na pag-iyak ng baby nila ni Yuseff. "Tama iyan, Yesang! Iyak pa! Para ma-exercise at lumakas ang lungs mo! Very good, baby! Masunurin sa mommy!"
Naawa ako sa baby dahil mukhang lalakas nga ang lungs pero magiging mahina naman ang pandinig dahil mabibingi sa kaingayan ng nanay niya. At naaawa rin ako kay Yuseff na nakasubsob na lang sa hospital bed ni Misty habang nakatakip ng mga kamay ang magkabilang tainga.
"Sweetheart, seriously, you should let Yesha fall asleep para mabilis siyang lumaki at di mabansot na tulad mo," poker face na sabi ni Yuseff nang mag-angat ng mukha.
Napahagalpak kami ng tawa nila Fiolla at Jones. Pati si Abby ay napahawak sa tiyan niya at natawa ng mahina.
"Ang salbahe n'yong lahat! Pinagkakaisahan n'yo 'ko! Hoy ikaw Jones at ikaw Fiolla! Makatawa kayo diyan eh di hamak naman na mas maliit kayo kaysa sa akin." Inismiran niya ang mga ito bago binalingan ang anak. "Baby Yesang oh, ang bad nila. Pinagtitripan nila si Mommy." She turned to us. "Hoy Kuya Gab, lapit kayo ni Abby dito. Tingnan n'yo si Yesang ko oh."
Lumapit naman kami ni Abby. Napatahan na ni Misty si Yesha pero mukhang walang balak matulog dahil kawag pa nang kawag ang mga kamay. Misty let me carry Yesha. It felt really good holding her in my arms. Mas masarap siguro ang pakiramdam kapag si Hash na ang nahawakan ko. I turned to Abby while carrying Yesha in my arms.
Nilaro-laro ni Abby ang kamay ni baby Yesha while cooing at her. I could vividly see the happiness in Abby's eyes while fondly playing and talking to Yesha. Alam kong magiging magaling na mommy talaga siya kay Hash after giving birth.
Later that night ay hirap na naman makatulog si Abby because of discomfort. Pabalik-balik din siya sa bathroom para umihi. Naaawa na tuloy ako sa kanya. Kung gaano siya kahimbing matulog noong di pa siya nagbubuntis at noong naglilihi pa lang siya, ngayon naman ay palagi siyang napupuyat. Gusto ko na lang hilahin ang mga araw para manganak na siya.
Hindi nga tumaba si Abby. She just gained weight because of our baby. Actually parang mas nagagandahan pa nga ako sa kanya since she got pregnant dahil palaging mamula-mula ang mga pisngi niya.
She moved again beside me kaya tumagilid na ako para yakapin siya. I kissed her cheek. "Konting tiis na lang, lalabas na rin siya."
"Lalo pa nga akong nainip na makita siya when I saw Yesha this afternoon. Ang cute talaga ni Yesha, 'no? Para siyang mini Misty."
"Sana kamukha mo rin si Hash para may mini Abby ako." I smiled at that thought.
Tumagilid na rin siya ng higa. She smiled at me and caressed my cheek. "Thank you, Gab ha."
"For?" I asked confusedly.
"Thank you for keeping up with me all throughout my pregnancy especially during those times na naglilihi pa lang ako. Thank you so much for your never ending patience. Thank you sa pagpupuyat mo para ibigay ang cravings ko. Thank you sa pag-aalaga at pagluluto para sa akin. Thank you for understanding me kahit alam kong nahihirapan kang unawain lahat ng mood swings ko. I know you'll be a good father because you've been a very good husband to me." Her tears fell down. "I love you so much, Gab."
I never said anything. I just kissed her lips to let her feel how much I love her too. Nagulat pa ako nang biglang gumalaw ang tiyan niya na nakadikit sa tiyan ko.
She laughed. "Pansinin mo naman daw siya."
Napangisi ako. Inilapat ko sa kama ang likod niya. I rolled up her nighties to expose her big stomach saka ako yumuko sa tiyan niya. "Hello, my little princess! Why are you still awake and kicking Mama's tummy huh?" I asked while caressing her tummy. Idinikit ko doon ang tainga ko.
I felt another kick kaya natawa na ako. "Wag mo masyado pahirapan si Mama ha, baby girl? Look oh, she couldn't sleep. Pag kasi matutulog na siya saka ka naman nagpe-play."
HashLeigh responded again through kicking her mom's tummy. Lalo pang lumakas ang tawa ko kaya pabiro akong sinabunutan ni Abby.
"Ang unfair niyang anak mo na iyan, Gab. Ako ang naghihirap na dalhin siya pero bakit pag ako ang kumakausap sa kanya, di siya nagre-respond? Bakit pag ikaw, sipa siya nang sipa?" nakangusong reklamo niya.
Napangisi ako. "Well, what can I say? Papa's girl ang baby ko eh. Right, little princess HashLeigh?" at natawa na naman ako dahil hindi talaga ako binibigo ng prinsesa ko. It's as if she could understand what I was telling her all the time and she would answer me by kicking. I caressed Abby's tummy again. "Come on, little princess. You should sleep now so Mama could sleep already also. It's late na oh. I'll lull you to sleep again. You want that?" I felt a gentle kick.
Abby combed my hair with her fingers and smiled lovingly at me. "Daya n'yo. Kayo na nagkakaintindihan," nakangusong sabi niya.
"Selosa si Mama." I planted a soft kiss on her tummy again. "I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? I can open your eyes. Take you wonder by wonder. Over, sideways and under on a magic carpet ride. A whole new worl. A new fantastic point of view...♪"
"She really wanted to be called, princess, huh?" she said when Hash calmed down already.
Ibinaba ko ang nighties niya. Tumabi ako ng higa sa kanya. I cuddled her inside my arm again. "Because she really is my princess and you..."I tapped her nose with my forefinger, "...are my queen."
"Sheeez, Montreal! You're making me so... Haaaah!"
Napahalakhak ako nang makuha ko agad ang ibig niyang sabihin. "Ano'ng so haaaa?" I teased.
"I missed you na, Gab. Sobrang miss na kita." She pinched my nose lightly.
"Laki na ng tiyan mo, honey. Baka mahirapan ka. Besides, baka magising si Hash."
Natawa siya. "Gentle and slow, Gab. O baka naman ayaw mo lang?" she arched her brow on me seductively.
Napakatukso talaga nitong asawa ko. I could feel myself down there getting excited. Really, really excited. Siya lang yata ang buntis na kayang-kaya pa rin mag-seduce kahit malaki na ang tiyan. Napangisi ako. "Sino nagsabing ayaw ko? Geez, honey. I missed you so effing badly too, if you only knew." Umupo ako at nagsimulang haplusin ang mga hita niya. I removed her pantíes and parted her thighs before I knelt down in between them. I touched her center and smirked when I heard her moan. "Too excited, honey huh?" I planted a soft kiss on her wet slick core before I sweetly and passionately made love to her.
******
"Gab, look oh. Ang cute ng baby dresses na regalo nila Mommy. Tapos ito namang set of feeding bottles na regalo nila Mama ang cute din. Siguradong sabay silang nag-shopping for this," tuwang-tuwang sabi ni Abby habang nag-eenjoy sa pagtingin at pag-unwrap ng mga regalo na natanggap namin last night for HashLeigh's baby shower.
Three days na lang at due date na niya kaya nag-organize sila Mommy ng baby shower party last night. Our friends, some of our relatives, and some of our classmates from high school and college also came.
Nagkalat ang mga gift wrappers at kung anu-anong mga regalo sa ibabaw ng kama ni Hash dito sa loob ng nursery room na pinagtulungan namin ayusin for the past months. She designed everything. Naglagay siya ng murals na may Disney Princesses. She even personally picked the furnitures and made sure that everything inside the whole room would not harm our little princess. When you look at the whole room, you could see and feel that she was very passionate and inspired when she did all of these. You could feel the love she has for HashLeigh.
"Eto ang pinakagusto ko sa lahat ng mga regalo, Abby," natatawang sabi ko habang hawak ang isang brown envelope at sinipat ang laman sa loob niyon.
"Kagabi pa ako curious diyan sa regalo ni Papa. Ano ba iyan?"
Inilabas ko ang mga papel na laman niyon at inabot sa kanya. "Yaman ni Papa!" Natawa ako.
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. "Shocks, Gab! Educational plan?! Sheeez! Seriously?"
"Paparinggan ko nga din si Daddy para sa next baby natin at sa mga susunod pa. Maganda na ang maraming sponsors para wala na tayong gagastusin."
Natawa din siya. "Ang kuripot mo, Gab."
"Di ah. Lahat ng luho ibibigay ko sa mga magiging anak natin. Di ko yata hahayaan na mahirapan ang mga magiging prinsesa at prinsipe natin."
"Ah, so you're going to spoil them, gano'n? At sa tono ng pananalita mo, parang isang buong soccer team yata ang gusto mong maging anak."
I smirked at her. "Nope, honey. Isang volleyball team lang." Nakita kong umasim ang mukha niya kaya natawa ako. "Sige minus one. Huling tawad. Goal to reach, five. Apat pa ang dapat natin trabahuin, honey." Napailag ako nang biglang lumipad palapit sa akin ang isang stuffed toy.
"Adik ka, Gab! Ikaw na lang kaya ang manganak! Ayusin na natin ang mga ito para makapag-lunch na tayo."
Kinuha ko iyong mga dangling toys at isinabit sa crib ni Hash. Inilagay ko na rin sa display rack ang mga stuffed toys. Inayos naman ni Abby ang mga regalong pillows and blankets sa loob ng baby cabinet.
"Ako na diyan, honey." Lumapit ako sa kanya. I took the blankets from her hands.
"Ginagawa mo na akong inutil, Gab," she said while pouting.
I pecked her pouted lips. "Stop pouting, honey. Mas lalo kang nagiging attractive."
Inirapan niya ako. "May attractive ba na mataba?"
"Hey, you're not fat, okay? You'll see. Paglabas ni Hash eh super sexy ka na ulit. Mas sexy pa kaysa dati kasi ang lapad na ng hips mo tapos mas lumaki pa iyang boöbs mo. Hmmmm...mas masarap iyan panggigilan ngayon for sure." Bigla niya akong hinampas ng maliit na unan ni Hash kaya natawa ako ng malakas.
She smacked my chest. "Once a pervért, always a pervért!"
"And I'm proud to be a pervért!"
Pinaghahampas niya ako ng unan. "Mahiya ka nga sa anak mo. Naririnig ka niya!"
"Tama na, Abby. Hash, binubugbog ako ni Mama mo oh!"
"Tumigil ka kasi sa mga kalokohan--awwww!" napahawak siya bigla sa tiyan niya. She closed her eyes tightly and hissed out in pain.
"Honey!" Hinawakan ko agad siya. "Lalabas na ba? What do you feel?"
She opened her eyes. "Okay lang ako."
"Napapadalas na iyan ah. Do you think it's still normal? Noong isang araw ka pa ganyan eh. I'll phone Dra. Suarez." Inalalayan ko siya paupo sa kama.
"Okay na, Gab. Nagsu-subside na iyong pain."
Isinandal ko siya ng patagilid sa katawan ko saka niyakap. I caressed her tummy gently. "Are you afraid to give birth?"
"Yeah, di mo naman maaalis iyon sa akin especially because this will be my first time to experience and go through this."
I took her hand and gently squeezed it. "I'll be with you all the time, Abby." I kissed her temple. "Sabi ni Mommy, sobrang sakit daw mag-labor. You know, you can bite my hand and curse me all you want if it would relieve you from your pain especially when you're delivering Hash already."
She took my hand and gently put it on her tummy. She smiled at me and guided my hand to caress her stomach. "Ang sweet ni Papa, right Hash?"
Nagulat pa kami at nagkatinginan when HashLeigh suddenly kicked. She was wide eyed when she met my gaze.
"She kicked, Gab! Gracious, I can't believe she kicked when I talked to her!"
I could see how happy she was when Hash responded to her.
She caressed her tummy again. "Hey, Hash, thank you for that kick. I love you, baby."
We felt another kick at napansin ko na lang na biglang tumulo ang mga luha ni Abby.
"Hey, princess, I thought forever mo nang i-snob-in si Mama eh. Akala ko si Papa lang talaga ang love mo."
I kissed the side of her head. "Selosa... Of course she loves you." I looked down at her tummy and caressed it. "Right, Hash? You love Mama too, right?" We felt another kick kaya natawa na lang kami pareho.
******
It was late afternoon nang mas lalo pang sumama ang pakiramdam ni Abby. She said she wanted to sleep pero parang nahihirapan daw siyang huminga.
I held her hand tightly while she's lying on our bed. "Abby, ano ba talaga ang nararamdaman mo? You're scaring the hell out of me, honey."
"I don't know also, Gab. Hindi ko rin maintindihan itong nararamdaman ko."
"Baka naman manganganak ka na, Abby. I'll call Dra. Suarez. I'll bring you to her clinic already. Di ako mapapalagay hanggang di ka nache-check up."
I felt her body jerked and she whimpered again in pain.
"Kanina pa iyan Abby. Maybe you're starting to have your labor already. Geeez! Abby, tara na kasi sa ospital." Nagulat pa ako nang bigla siyang tumawa. "Natatawa ka pa? Abby naman."
She tried to sit on the bed kaya inalalayan ko siya. "Eh kasi naman di naman ikaw 'yong manganganak pero ikaw pa 'yong mas nagpa-panic. Relax ka nga lang, honey ko."
"I don't even know how you can still relax, Abby. Baka naman Braxton Hicks lang iyan. Lagi mo naman iyan nararamdaman lately kasi normal naman daw iyan sabi ni Doctora."
She smiled at me. "Alam mo, Gab, kaya minsan di na ako nakikinig sa mga sinasabi ni Doctora kasi alam kong very attentive ka makinig sa mga sinasabi niya. Sa 'yo tuloy ako mas nagiging dependent. Paano na lang ako, Gab, kung wala ka?"
"Sino ba nagsabing mawawala ako sa iyo? Abby, kahit iwan mo pa ako, I'll search even the depths of the earth just to find you. Ibabalik at ibabalik kita sa akin. Always remember that."
She giggled again. "Sino rin ba ang nagsabi na mawawala ako sa iyo?"
Natigilan ako. "Baka kasi..." I sighed. "Baka lang naman maisipan mo akong iwan one day." I gently caressed her cheek. "Sana maging enough na ang pagmamahal ko para sa inyo ni Hash for you not to leave me."
"Hala ka, Gab. Nasa contractions lang ang topic natin kanina. Bakit napunta sa iwanan? Di ko nga kayang isipin na mahiwalay ng isang araw sa iyo kaya wag kang paranoid."
Well, you did, honey. You already did. Kung hindi lang nangyari iyong aksidente, malamang sa hiniwalayan mo na ako ng tuluyan.
"Gab, ang sakit ng lower back ko."
I massaged her lower back. "Tara na kasi sa ospital, Abby. Labor pains na iyan eh."
"Di pa ako manganganak, Gab."
"Tsssss... Ang kulit mo, Abby."
Nang nagsunud-sunod pa ang pagsakit ng tiyan niya ay tinawagan ko na talaga si Dra. Suarez. Inilista ko na ang time interval niyon just like what she instructed me. And when Abby's contractions became more frequent and more painful around early evening, she told me to bring her immediately to the hospital.
"Yes, Mom, we're on our way to the hospital. Please phone Mama and Papa na lang. Thanks." I put my phone on the dashboard.
"Gab..."
I looked at her. She was biting her lip and her eyes were closed tightly. Tangina! Ano ba iyan! Pati tuloy ako nanginginig na sa sobrang nerbiyos. I held her hand firmly.
"Ready to meet our little princess, honey?"
She opened her eyes and tried to smile at me. "Yeah..." her short answer and tightened her grasp on my hand.
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