How can you love someone when they will never love you back?
April 26, 2012
The Dahm Mansion
So two days ago, my parents and I discussed what was going on. I told them that I’ve changed completely; I’m not the perfect girl they want me to be anymore, and I’m not at all sane. Therefore, they’re moving to Kansas. Even though that’s a state away, I’ll be fine with it.
But those two days I got to spend so much time with them, and I’ve really missed them. Especially my dad. God, how I missed my dad.
Now, today all I’m worried about is how I’m going to cope with myself. I’m never going to see Harry again. Well except for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. That’s it. How the hell am I supposed to deal with that?
Today, I do not have any plans. I am just going to sit on the couch and watch shitty movies to make me feel better.
But as soon as I sat down, comfortable and all, somebody knocked on my door. I walked up to it and smiled when I saw Malina and Niall, hand in hand.
“Hey girl. We’re back.” She smiled and I furrowed my brows.
“Where.. Did you go?” I asked and they walked into the house.
“Did you not see the note on the fridge?” Niall asked and I cocked an eyebrow, “Clearly not. Um, I took this beautiful lady to Cancun. God, we had such a great time. But I’m exhausted so… I’m going to lie down.”
“Cancun?” I asked as Niall kissed Malina’s cheek and walked away, “When did you go to Cancun?”
“When you and Penelope went to London,” she answered and I furrowed my brows again.
“We were only in London for three days,” I admitted and she laughed.
“Well we stayed for five days I think. Got back yesterday and fell asleep in the car at a gas station.” She laughed again and I smiled.
Then there was another knock on the door and I groaned. I walked up to it and opened it, looking straight at Penelope.
“The fuck?” Malina rested her arm on my shoulder and gave Penelope a questioned look.
“Um…” Penelope struggled to look away from Malina, but she finally looked at me and swallowed, “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.” I laughed and she sighed.
“I need to talk to you alone.” She looked at Malina and Malina scoffed.
“Go to hell, Daisy.” Malina rolled her eyes and walked into the house, sprawling out on the couch.
“Come on. Let’s go to my room, I guess.” I sighed and closed the door before walking up to my room, Penelope following. “What is it that you need?” I asked, sitting down on my couch and grabbing the bag of twizzlers off of my nightstand.
“Um, I wanted to ask you something about Harry.” I choked on the twizzler in my mouth, “I know it may be too much to ask, but please bare with me.” She sat down beside me and I gave her an Are you serious? look. “Please?”
“Oh my God. Fine.” I ate the rest of the twizzler and she took a deep breath.
“How do I love him?” she asked and I looked at her again.
“What could you possibly mean?” I asked and she crossed her legs as I offered her a twizzler. She took one as I said, “It’s common sense when you love someone-”
“No. That’s not what I meant.” She shook her head and groaned. “Okay, I want to know how you got him to fall in love with you. I know how I love him, but I just want to know how to make him love me. What do I do? How do I love him?”
“Are you talking about sex?” I cocked an eyebrow and she laughed out, “No I’m serious. In the beginning, Harry only used me for sex and that’s how he loved me.” Her mouth dropped open. “Yeah I know. But, I guess he learned to love me for who I was because we’ve only had sex about six times,” I took another bite of a twizzler and swung it in her face, “Next question.”
“Um, what does he hate?” she asked and I rolled my eyes.
“Well, he hates a lot of things. He hates it when you start fights, but it turns him on when you fight back and win. He hates it when you piss and moan, he hates it when you don’t let him kiss you. He hates it when you go in his room without permission, and when you don’t let him touch you. He hates it when you disobey the rules, and when you don’t listen. And he mostly hates it when you leave. Don’t ever leave him.” I shook my head and Penelope smiled.
“Is that why you left? Just to get on his nerves?” she chuckled and I sneered.
“I think we’re done here,” I said and she shook her head.
“No, no. I’m sorry. Please, don’t make me leave,” she held up her hand and I let out an over exaggerated sigh, “What does he love?”
“He loves it when you laugh at his shitty jokes, and when you let him kiss you. He loves it when you kiss him just below his jaw... he loves it when you let him talk dirty. He loves it when you can take showers together, and when you wear lingerie. He loves it when you smile because of him, and when you stay for more than a few days. He loves it when you’re honest… Even though he never is…” I trailed off and Penelope put her hand on mine. “He loves it when you eat with him, and he likes it when you put yourself out there. And when you whisper his name in his ear…”
“How do you know all of this?” she asked and I cleared my throat and knocked myself out of my trance.
“Experience…. Remember?” I said and she swallowed.
“Jeez. How could I forget. No offense.” She held up her hand again and I shook my head.
“None taken.” It was quiet for a minute and all you could hear was the crumbling of the plastic twizzler bag every time we went to grab another one. “You’re very lucky, you know? Now that he’s wasted all his lies on me, you get the honest Harry. And he’s very sweet; very romantic. He’ll drive you insane at some times, but you’ll learn to get used to it. He probably won’t touch you much, but when he does… It won’t be like anything you’ve ever felt before. He’s a great man, and you’re a very lucky woman, Penelope James.”
She smiled at me and looked down, “I really hate to take him away.”
“You’re not. It’s no one’s fault, it’s definitely not yours. It’s just… Time for us to be apart. That’s all.” I patted her leg and smiled.
“I’m so glad you actually agreed to be in the wedding. That is if you’re still going to be in it.” She looked at me and I nodded my head.
“Yeah. I can’t wait to see you in your dress, all dolled up,” I forced a smile, “Getting married to the man of your dreams.”
“He’s not the man of my dreams, Anastasia,” her expression became stern. “He’s the man of yours. And I feel so shitty for-”
“Penelope,” I snapped and she looked at me, “Stop being so goddamn hard on yourself. If I didn’t want this for you, I would have stopped this by now. But you deserve someone who is going to treat you good. And I believe Harry is the one for it.”
She then wrapped me in her arms, and began to cry. “You have no idea how much this means to me,” she whispered and I patted her back. “You’re a great friend, Anastasia. I mean it. Harry sure was lucky to have you when he did.” She then stood up and looked at me, “I’ll be sure to remember what you said. Thank you.” Then she left.
By then I realized how much I needed a drink.
I walked down stairs and into the living room where Malina was. “Come here boo.” She motioned for me and I sighed, laying down on the couch with her. She wrapped her arms around me and sighed as I did, “You have got to get your mood under control.”
“I know,” I pouted and she chuckled at me.
“What do you think will happen next?” she asked and I shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll just let her marry him.” Tears filled my eyes and she shoved my face into her chest, making me laugh my tears away.
“It will be okay..” she whispered, holding me tighter. I sure hope so.
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I have a question.
If I posted another Harry story, would you guys read it? I kinda really want to try to write a daddy!kink of some sort but I don't think I'll base the whole story around it... idk, if I posted another story, please tell me if you guys would read it :)