Once we had gotten to my place, Sean sat on the couch in the living room. Rini's toys were scattered all over the floor and I sighed. I told her to clean up earlier, but it seems as if she didn't listen.
Getting down onto the floor, Sean got up and went to the Christmas tree. There were as little as no ornaments on the tree. He frowned and I looked up at him. I got up and gave him a sad smile.
"We only have a box of lights." I said.
He nodded and I looked a little bit embarrassed. I couldn't believe I was so poor. Most of my money went towards paying for my apartment and groceries. So it slipped my mind to just how crazy it was.
I wasn't getting anything this year, which was what I was used to.
I was pretty much just used to my parents sending a gift in the mail, and not coming to see Rini. Tana was usually the one to take her to see her grandparents. I remember last Christmas they Skyped me. You think they'd have gotten over everything that happened, but they haven't.
"You need ornaments for your tree though." Sean said as he looked over at me.
"I never have enough money to buy ornaments, and it's because I'm busy saving up for my daughters toys." I explained.
"understandable." He said kindly.
It was true. We need ornaments. No Christmas was the same without any ornaments. I sighed once again, and nodded as I looked at him.
The only problem, as I've stated before, is that i don't have the money.
Not having the money really does make me sad. Mostly because as a child, I had ornaments on my tree.
And I wanted Rini to experience that.
He looked at me with a sincere gaze.
I just looked down embarrassed. Though somehow you made me realize I shouldn't be ashamed. Everybody goes through hard times. I'm pretty sure even he went through hard times.
"It would be pretty nice to have some ornaments on my tree, but the one thing I want this year is to buy my daughter more presents." I said as I looked at him.
"Do you know what she wants?" He asked.
"Well, she wants two things, she wants a santa snoopy and she also wants a father." I said sadly.
He looked at me with a sad look on his face. I looked down, almost about to cry. He saw this and bent down. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and told me things were going to be better.
I couldn't believe I was telling all of this to Sean. He didn't need to know. All I know is that all the pain that I have been feeling for four years spilling out now. I talked to him about my parents, my ex, and my sister who was the only support that I had in my family.
I guess it was okay to tell him though. We were friends and he was bound to know anyways. He talked to me about how I shouldn't be scared to go on dates, and that some men like to be father figures. I nodded and calmed myself down.
"My wife had a miscarriage two years ago," he said. I looked at him sadly.
"Oh my gosh, that's terrible, I'm so sorry." I said as I looked at him.
"It's fine, but it's still hard for me to cope throughout the days, I just wish I could have a second chance, you know?" He said, and I nodded.
"Yeah, I know." I said and I held onto him.
This was the moment I realized that maybe, just maybe, I would be able to help sean