Omggggg! Guys... you are so fucking amazing! Like literally!! The amount of comments on the last chapter asking me for an update was just.... unbelievable! I never thought anybody could ever like this! Thank you so fucking much!!
.....
. ELLIE
I felt numb. I still did. From the very first night that Harry's asshole brother kidnapped me until now that he threw me away.
Pathetic. You are a pathetic loser. You are useless. Worthless. Just a toy for men to play with. Harry played you. He used you. And you, fucking fool, loved him. Pathetic.
My subconscious yelled. These voices have been haunting me ever since the night James raped me and told me the truth about Harry. They are killing me from inside. That's why I feel numb.
I'm not energetic like before. I don't even want to talk. I don't want to live. I just want to die; to end this agonizing life.
I slowly woke up. Sunlight burning my eyes as I darted my eyes away and found myself in....
Harry's room? What the--
"Hey my love. You are awake! Thank god!" Harry almost yelled out of excitement and laughed as tears ran down his cheek. He kneeled beside the bed and took my hand in his as he stared up at me. Wow. Never have seen him like this before.
"How are you? Are you hurt? What happened? What did James do to you?" He asked questions left and right but I couldn't get myself to talk. To say anything. I couldn't move. My lips were cemented together. My eyes stared blankly at his and then the confusion flashed before his eyes.
"Talk. Please. Your silence is killing me." He begged and his voice cracked causing more tears to roll down.
Hurt. Excitement. Sympathy. Hope.
I should've felt them but nothing. Nothing seemed to fill my mind. I was numb. It was all blank in my head. Nothing. It felt like an endless whiteness. You know you are somewhere but can't figure out exactly where. You know the person before your own eyes and at the same time, you feel like you are under the same roof with a stranger. You know you love someone but then you ask yourself, do I really want to go down that path again? Do I want to get hurt again? Do I want to be lied to again? Do I want to be shattered again? Used again?
Harry did all that to me. Lied to me. Used me. And I, believed him.
So again, I kept silent. Kept my mouth shut and stared blankly at him. Not like I wanted to talk or had anything to say if I did so. I had nothing to say.
He gently squeezed my hand but he rubbed his hand against the mark James left on me like I was his ash tray, making me flinch and yank my hand back.
He seemed to notice as he reached for it again and looked at the spot his brother burnt with bewildered eyes. "James.... James did this? He put his cigarette out on your hand?"
Nothing.
"FUCK! Talk to me! Ellie! FUCKING TALK TO ME!" He yelled and sobbed as he put his head on my lap, thinking I would run my fingers through his hair, calm him down but then again. Nothing. I just stared ahead at the white, dusty wall, both my hands at my sides.
"Why aren't you telling me to stop?" He looked up and I locked eyes with him again. "Why aren't you asking me to stop swearing like you always do? Like you did last night? Why aren't you talking to me my sweet Elliana? Last night, hearing your voice after 3 whole weeks of silence, after 3 weeks of torturous days and nights passing by, after 3 weeks of slowly dying inside I saw your angelic face and heard your sweet voice. It's repeating itself in my mind right now like a song over and over again. I watched the only thing I had of you and do you know what it was?" He looked at me with hope, his eyes getting watery again.
"The video I took when you crawled to me, telling me how much you love me.... and believe me my love, nothing like that 3 words were ever that sweet to my ears. Nothing. So talk to me. Yell, kick, shout, fight. Anything. Just talk. This isn't you."
But I didn't. I kept looking at him like he was someone I didn't recognize but deep down it felt like I know him. A part of him at least.
I looked away when for some unknown reason another horrible memory flooded back.
. FLASHBACK .
"Zayn!" James yelled, calling his partner. I laid almost lifelessly on the same bed I've been on for the past week tied and cuffed to it.
"I.... Please. Don't do anything. I... can't take it anymore." I begged, my voice barely audible. My throat was dry. My body hurt, every muscle, ever cell. My wrists and ankles hurt like hell from being tied so hard. And especially my private area. They even chained me to the polars.
"Did I ask for your opinion?" He calmly stated.
"Yup?" Zayn peaked his head inside and smirked at my completely naked body then looked back to James.
"I think she is thirsty again...." He said and put his index finger and thumb on his chin like he was thinking, when in reality he wasn't. And I wasn't 'thirsty'.
"Is she?" Tears welled up in my eyes again when I thought about the things that was going on their minds right now. I'm only seventeen.
Zayn and him came in front of me and James started taking his pants off leaving his grey t-shirt on. Zayn leaned on the bed and just watched with a smirk plastered across his disgusting face.
James harshly grabbed me and threw me on the ground making me hurt my already bruised body, more.
The chains tugging me back where the only thing keeping me almost stable on my knees as my eyes were struggling to stay open. He then harshly grabbed my chin and made me look up at him. 'That will definitely leave some bruises.' I thought not having the courage to talk than to say those words out loud.
He brought his boxers down and grabbed a fistful of my hair and took a step back. "C'mon little pet. Come closer." His disgusting voice cooed, leaving me no choice but to get closer.
I slowly crawled on my knees not being able to use my hands because they were cuffed behind me. "Closer... closer..."
I couldn't go any closer. My arms were yanked back in a painful way by the chain and they were held upwards in the worst and most painful angle.
"Good. Now stop." He brought his member in front of my face and put it in my mouth, making me suck his dirty erection.
"That's so good. Keep going." I wasn't even doing anything. He was just guiding my head by my hair making me bob my head up and down his cock. And with every time I was forced to go down, my hands were yanked backwards more and more. It was like at any second my shoulders were going to dislocate. But I had no choice.
"Damn she is good! No wonder Harry wanted her for himself ." Tears welled up in my eyes when Zayn said that, still standing there by the bed watching the most embarrassing moment of my life.
"You are so good and you know what? Good girls get rewards." He then thrusted faster and deeper, hitting the back of my throat, making it sting with pain and maybe.... blood?
I didn't even know anymore.
"You swallow it all, you got it Elliana? We don't want it to go to waste do we?" He said while moaning and deep throating me faster until I felt his filthy liquid hit the back of my throat.
I had no choice but to swallow. It was mixed with my tears running down my cheeks. But then on purpose he pulled out, making some of it drop on the floor.
"Oops... well aren't you a bad girl?" He cooed again making me roll my eyes. Slap! I had lost count as to how many times he had slapped me.
"Don't you fucking roll your eyes at me again!" He said.
"Lick it clean." He stated after some seconds. Both him and Zayn started laughing. "WHAT?!" I almost yelled. Slap!
"Are you deaf? He said lick it clean."
I had no choice. I gave up like I have been in the past week. I slowly bent down, licking his disgusting liquid from the ground. Just when I finished I could taste dirt, tears and his filthy liquid in my mouth. My tears pouring more and more.
His foot made contact with my stomach making me fly only to collapse on the hard floor again.
I squirmed in pain as they continued to laugh at me. I was sobbing, louder than I have ever done.
"Your turn Zayn."
. END OF FLASHBACK .
I didn't cry as I recalled the memory. I wasn't hurt. I didn't feel anything anymore.
And because of what Harry did to me, our love story may no longer exist.
But wait... you have to have heart for one of those, don't you?
Something he never had from the very first start, and I no longer have either.