I follow Josh towards the park where we went out first few days together. "You should invite Clara, Tyler wouldn't shut up about her the whole tour. I honestly think he's got a crush" Josh laughs as we walk towards a panic blanket and basket. Right, Clara.
We sit down and get comfortable. I didn't reply to his previous comment, making him concerned. "Did something happen while I was gone?" He asks as I pull out my phone, already expecting the question. I nod. "What happened?" Josh questions. I sigh. 'She thinks I'm abandoning her' I replied simply. I don't want to go into the whole details about Brendon. He doesn't need to know about me wanting to talk. He will just tell me to continue trying. I don't want Josh to influence my decision even though he was the reason for wanting to in the first place.
"And are you?" He pries 'I don't know' I do know, I just don't want to admit it.
Silence. Nothing is said. Josh doesn't speak and neither do I.
Well until Tyler shows up 10 minutes later. "Sorry I'm late, I got lost" He smiles. Of course, he did.
"So I heard you are learning an instrument" Tyler breaks yet another awkward silence. 'How did you know? I wanted it to be a surprise" I ask. "Brendon, don't trust him with anything" Tyler laughs. Gosh dammit, Brendon. "So you used to play in high school?" Tyler continues the conversation on music.
Josh hardly speaks to me the whole time. Occasionally he'll ask a random question so Tyler doesn't get suspicious, but nothing more. I'm doing a swell job at losing the people closest to me this week.
Tyler looks at his phone, probably to check the time or for messages. "Well, we've actually got to head to a meeting" Tyler announces. I sigh. "But we should hang out again with Brendon, that was fun" Tyler smiles happily remembering back to the other week. I just nod trying not to think about what I could've just ruined.
Josh walks off ahead as Tyler holds me behind. "Okay, what's up between you and Josh?" Tyler says getting straight to the point. I shake my head, telling him nothing happened. "You're not fooling me. The other day you guys were all flirting and being cute, now you barely look at each other" He points out. I guess we both didn't do a good job at hiding our feelings.
"We'll talk later, I have to get to this meeting" Tyler sighs, obviously annoyed with having to leave at this moment. I nod and he gives me a light hug before running off to a slightly concerned Josh.
What have I done? Clara hates me, Brendon is annoyed with me, Josh doesn't want to even look at me and Tyler is trying to help me when really I'm the one who's been doing all the damage.
Josh might think that I'm running to Tyler for help because I have nowhere else to go, that I'm misleading him to seem like I'm the one who's being mistreated. I know that's not the truth. I don't want Tyler's help to fix this, I need to do it on my own. I just don't know where to start.
Where it is, it can wait till tomorrow. Right now I just feel like snuggling into a blanket and drawing for hours. And that's just what I'll do.