-Niall Horan-
*Four and a half years later*
When I push the front door open, I am welcomed by two blonde haired children, and a very excited golden retriever puppy.
"Daddy!!" The oldest of the two, Dean, comes running into my arms.
"Hey buddy. How was your day?" My three year old son just smiles and giggles at me. I kiss his head, then scoop up my almost two year old baby girl.
"Hello, Paisley. Daddy loves you and missed you so much!" She giggles when I begin to shower her skin with kisses. I then set her down and watch as she and Dean take off running toward their play room. I loosen my scarf and hang it on the coat rack in the entry. I then tear my coat off, doing the same, before making my way to the kitchen.
I smile before stalking over to my beautiful wife, Madeline. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and and press a soft kiss to the side of her neck. She giggles and mutters a quick 'hold on' before finishing up with her stirring and setting the spoon down beside the stove. She then turns around and smiles at me, softly pulling me down for a quick kiss. She allows her hands to linger near my face when she pulls back from my lips.
"Welcome home, baby." I smile and lean down to kiss her again. We soon separate so that she can tend to the cooking dish behind us. I grab for a glass and begin to pour myself some of the wine from an already opened bottle. Madeline cautiously eyes me.
"Must have been a day for you to actually drink?" she softly asks and I casually shrug. My eyes wander to the calendar hanging on the wall and my heart softly jumps against my chest.
Madeline is aware that I really don't drink unless I just feel the need to unwind from a stressful day or it's a big occasion. The amount that I drank in those first few months, following Brooke's death, was enough to last me a lifetime.
I let out a long shaky breath and again, my wife looks at me. She frowns when her eyes meet mine. I watch as she sets down her current task to come over to me. She places a few fingers beneath my chin and lifts it so that I am forced to look at her. She shoots me a very soft smile.
"I'm sorry, baby." My brows crease when I look at her and she gives me a knowing look.
"Don't think that I forgot what today is." I swallow roughly when she says it, trying to hold my tears in. Again, I let out a very shaky breath.
"I-I am so sorry." I softly apologize and shake my head. Immediately, Madeline shakes her head and presses a kiss to my jaw.
"Don't you dare apologize to me, honey. We both have gone through this and I understand, more than you know. You and I both know that I get upset on Jack's day too." I swallow and nod, finally smiling.
"I know, I know. Thank you." She just smiles and leans in for a kiss. I kiss her then finish my glass of wine. She goes back to cooking and we stand in silence for a moment, until she remembers something.
"Oh, Niall?" I hum. Her face falls a little. "I think you need to go talk with Theo and Mallory." My brows crease and she shoots me a saddened smile. "They just aren't doing the best today either. Especially Theo. Plus, Mallory has been quite ill all day. I didn't make either of them go to school. They've been inseparable." I slowly nod before thanking her.
I make my way through the living room and pass the baby play room, softly smiling. I head upstairs, peeking into Mallory's room, only to find it vacant. I frown and head to Theo's room, softly knocking. I hear a quiet 'come in' and push the door open. There's a soft glow from a lamp, enough so that I can see two bodies laying on the bed. I step inside and close the door behind me, moving so that I can sit on the edge of the bed.
I look down and see Mallory curled into Theo's side. Theo tightens an arm around her and kisses her forehead. I smile at the interaction and urn my head for a moment, only to allow my eyes to fall on a picture of Brooke, Theo, Mallory, Jensen, and I from just a few weeks before she died. She looked so happy, so healthy. That bright smile and those radiant eyes.
"I miss her, dad. I miss mom, a lot." I look away from the picture and am met with Theo's bright eyes. He shakes his head and laughs bitterly. "I-I don't know why I'm crying." He begins to angrily wipe his tears away, but they don't stop. I quickly grab his hand from his face and he squeezes mine as tightly as he can. He's shaking.
"I can't stop thinking about her. Every time I close my eyes, she's all I see. Every time they're open, I see her in Mallory. Look at her, dad. She's a spitting image." I quickly agree, glancing down at the eight year old child.
"She died shortly after Mal was born. Dad, it was eight years ago. A-and I have been a mess today. I couldn't eat or drink. I feel like I'm going to throw up. This year has definitely been the absolute worst. Most years it's been sad, but this year just hurts." I nod, knowing exactly what he means.
"And I've tried not to show my sadness around Madeline because I always feel bad when it's this time of year. Like, I feel like it upsets her when we are upset because of mom. I don't want--"
"Theo, that is not the case at all. Madeline knows and understands where we are coming from. She gets it better than anyone I've ever met. Her husband also died. She has her husband's heart. She gets it, Theo. You're not going to upset her."
"Promise?" I smile at my sixteen year old son and smile.
"I promise you." He sighs and relaxes a little. We sit in silence for a little while until his voice breaks my thoughts.
"Dad?" I look up and he squeezes my hand.
"Please don't think I'm crazy when I say this?" I nod, allowing him to go on and he sighs a heavy sigh.
"Okay. Do you ever just--I don't know. Do you ever just feel her presence--mom's?" He looks at me nervously and when I smile, he smiles too.
"All of the time." I look up for a moment and nearly choke on the air that feels like it's been ripped from my throat, when I see her figure standing over my two children. She smiles at me and I feel my heart begin to beat a million miles a minute. She moves her head in a 'follow me' kind of way before disappearing through the wall, out into the cooler night. I swallow and glance at Theo.
"Good, because I'm pretty sure she's always here. I don't know how, but she is. Almost like a guardian angel." I nod and smile at him.
"You know, dinner is almost ready. You should try to eat." He nods for a moment then furrows his brows. "Hey dad?" I glance at him as I begin to stand.
"Could we go back home soon? Like, back to London? I want to visit mom. And I want to see everyone like Uncle Harry, Aunt Sarah, their baby, and Amy. Oh and Uncle Liam, Arralyne, and their daughter--Brookelyne. Oh and especially Grandpa Andrew and Grandma Jennifer. And can we please eat at Norma's? I miss their lovebird cake." I shoot him a very large grin.
"I've been planning a trip back, for quite some time. Don't tell Mal, deal?" He shakes his head and grins right back. I walk back toward my sixteen year old son and lean down to kiss the top of his head, then do the same to Mallory.
"Oh and dad?"
"Yes?"
"Can I finally meet Seth Collins, Lillie and Austin, and Chase?" I stop in my tracks when I hear those names. "I just want to really feel her presence and I feel like that'd be the best way. I-I understand if you don't want to. It might be too hard, it's just a thought." I slowly nod and his brows raise.
"I'll see what I can do. It'd be good to visit them." He thanks me with a sigh.
"I love you, dad."
"I love you too." I smile as I close the door behind me. I quickly make my way outside, knowing exactly what I saw.
When I step outside, the cool air sweeps across my skin and I nuzzle deeper my sweater. My eyes scan the wide open field behind our home and there, about fifty or sixty yards ahead of me, sits Brookelyne. I slowly walk out to her and realize that Jensen is laying next to her, his head resting in her lap. I smile down at the girl that I fell so deeply in love with, so many years ago.
They both turn to look at me and she smiles. She pats the ground and I take a seat, my throat getting tighter by the second. I just stare down at the dog until I feel her fingers against my skin. I shudder at the sensation, leaning into her palm.
"I haven't seen you in a while, Brooke. I've missed you."
"I'm sorry. I just knew that you seeing me wouldn't have been good for you and your marriage. You were still so in love with me." I immediately correct her.
"No, I'm still, to this very day, very in love with you. I love Madeline differently." She shushes me and lets out a soft giggle.
"What I meant was, had I answered you on your wedding day, you wouldn't have married her and you know it." I sigh, hating how right she is.
"She's a very good woman--Madeline." Brooke smiles as I admit this to her. "She loves me and our children." I emphasize the word 'our' to let her know that I'm talking about Mallory and Theo.
"I'm very grateful for that. Your other two babies are beautiful as well. I can see that Madeline is a very good mother and wife." she nudges me as she releases my face. We now face forward, just watching the nighttime nature.
"I'm happy, Brooke. I actually feel very happy with her. And that is something that I never thought I could feel after you." She loops her arm through mine and rests her head against my shoulder.
"I am more than satisfied to hear that, honey. You deserve to be happy. You deserve that more than anyone else that I know."
"Thank you." Again, a silence washes over us. I hear Jensen softly whine and I look over, only to see that Brooke is crying. My heart begins to race.
"Darlin', what is it?" She shakes her head and lets out a soft laugh.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." I move her hair behind her ear and caress her face, collecting her tears. She's somehow still smiling.
"What's wrong, love?" She sighs.
"I am beyond joyed for you, Niall." I continue to wipe up her tears, surprised that I haven't cried yet. "I just can't help but envy Madeline just a little. And it's not the love, it's not that she gets to mother my babies, or even the fact that she's married to you." She shakes her head and frowns, only to quickly shake it away.
"It's how she gets to make you smile on a daily basis. I watch from afar to make sure she's treating you right. And I am so blessed to know that she really is treating you the best she can." She smiles and leans into my hand. I continue to watch her.
"But it does hurt that I don't get to be the one to do that. Not daily anyways." I bite my lip and lean forward on impulse. When my forehead presses to hers, she sighs.
"I love you, Brookelyne Horan. I will always, always love you with every fucking thing inside of me. Remember that? I gave you my all and you gave me yours?" She lets out a quiet laugh and nods against me.
"I love you, Niall Horan. I love you with every ounce of my body and always will." I smooth her hair back before gently kissing her.
The kiss makes my world stop, even my heart. I feel us--just us. Just how I had always wanted it to be.
This kiss makes me realize that 'our all' was truly a vowel of eternity. We promised to give our eternity to one another and that promise still stands.
"Now, I want you to get back in there, eat a lovely dinner with your family, and hug and kiss your wife." I nod as our lips separate.
When my eyes open, I see that she's standing and that Jensen is standing with her. My brows furrow when they take note of that certain glow over his body--just like Brooke's. I look down beside me and see Jensen's body lying very still. When my eyes meet Brooke's she sends me a soft smile.
"Guess he was ready to come home. You know he's almost seventeen years old." I bite my lip and allow her to help me from the ground. Once I'm standing, Jensen nudges my hand and allows me to pet him.
"Always such a good dog." She hums in agreement then catches my eye again.
"Go, we will always be around to guide y'all." I nod with tears in my eyes and pull her in for a tight embrace.
"When it's my time--"
"Yes, Jensen and I will be here to welcome you home. We gave each other our all, right?"
I nod and she smiles, and separates from me. She pats her thigh, willing Jensen to follow her.
"That was for eternity, remember?"
AN//
Don't forget to vote and comment.
Remember, I will be posting a long author's note separate from this so keep it in your libraries for now. Oh my God, I can't believe it's over. I'm currently crying my eyeballs out.
I love you guys so much.
Much love,
H.