“Jesus H. Christ!” Victor yelled. His outburst made me jump. “Give me your phone?”
“What? Why?” I asked, protecting my mobile device behind my back.
“You keep looking at it and it’s make me nervous!”
“You paranoid drug dealer!” I shot back. Suddenly, my phone was being snatched out of my hand behind me. My reflexes weren’t fast enough for me to catch it. “Ma!” I yelled.
“If he calls your phone volume is up. In the meantime, get to work and stop driving me crazy.”
Ian landed a few hours ago. All I got was a text saying so with a promise to call me as soon as he got a chance. I’ve been checking my phone every second because of that and driving my family crazy. After he left we text until I fell asleep. It was surprising with all the worry on my brain. He was being the kindest, sweetest, most caring person…all the reasons I fell in love with him. And the picture, I couldn’t stop staring at it and smiling. I used it as my lock screensaver. Now I have to be careful how I use my phone. I had been giving him a hard time and he acted like nothing happened. I’m doomed if I ever get mad at him in the future. All I would be able to think about is all the times he lashed out and let me be upset. He’s so amazing for putting up with me.
I reached for my phone in my pocket to text him just that, only to be reminded that my mother had it. I asked her for it and my request was denied.
“I just want to text him and tell him that he’s amazing for putting up with me. You have no idea what I put him through yesterday and early this morning.”
She gave it back. As I was texting Ian I couldn’t help but laugh at her and Victor. Victor was arguing that she too soft on because I was always her favorite.
I barely hit the send button when my phone started ringing. I ran upstairs to answer. “I’ve been waiting for your call! Did you get my text? I miss you!”
Ian’s soft, deep chuckle brought a smile to my face. “Hi! No, I didn’t! I miss you too. Hold on. I’m checking for your text.” It didn’t take him long. “Ah, you’ve done your share of putting up with me…” his voice trailed off and I heard a yawn. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Maybe you should get some sleep first.”
The line was quiet for a while. I actually thought he fell asleep until he said, “I could actually use you right now.”
At the sound of that, I slipped into my room and closed the door. I have nothing to hide from my family but some things are and should be between him and I. “What’s wrong?”
“Remember when I left for a week and you didn’t hear from me?” Ian laughed. “See, you have done your share of putting up with me.”
“Yes, I remember,” I answered slowly.
“I left because my father fell in the tub while he was showering. It wasn’t bad but…anyways, he has a fulltime nurse but I wanted to stay with him just to see for myself that he was doing better and he was going to be okay. You and I…I had only just told you how I felt. I was unsure of a lot of things…like whether or not I blew my chances with you, your feelings for me. We didn’t actually build a relationship and as much as I wanted to I couldn’t pick up the phone and say ‘hey, Oliver, my father fell and I’m really terrified right now’.”
“And now,” I asked, sensing there was more to this. The tone in his voice was unsettling.
“When I arrived at the house the first thing I noticed was that he lost some weight from the last time I saw him. He didn’t look awful but he’s my father so of course I noticed. I told him that we should go see his doctor first thing after the holidays and he refused. I don’t like this, Ollie, I’m really terrified right now.”
“I should be with you. I’m going to book a flight and catch the next available one going there. I’m sure we can make up some excuse…like I’m your assistant or something.”
“Ollie, no,” he said. I could tell he was trying not to laugh.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Nothing is funny. Thank you for wanting to be here for me. That’s more than enough.”
“Okay,” I responded, solemnly. “Well just make the best of Christmas and try to make each other happy. Create good memories!”
“You know what would make me really happy?”
“Tell me,” I answered.
At the same time Ian said, “Never mind.” He continued, laughing it off. “There’s something I really want to hear from you. I’m addicted now”
Silly, I thought with amusement. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, good morning.”
“Good afternoon,” I laughed.
We said goodbye and I stayed in my room. It must’ve been a long time since I was in there. My mom came knocking sometime after. She wondered if everything was okay and I told her the truth. I don’t know if everything is okay but I really hoped it was. With everything bothering Ian, the last thing he needed right now was a sick father. He’s strong but I don’t know if he could handle that.
Worry wouldn’t leave me alone. It was almost as if Ian could sense it. My phone vibrated about two hours after he called. It was a picture of him and his father. They had their arms around each other. They looked so much alike but you could tell they were different people even with the smiles on their faces. Ian looked intense as usual and his father looked like a down to earth, happy-go-lucky kind of man. It’s not that Ian wasn’t down to earth but it took some getting used to for that side of him to come out and play.
The caption for the picture was simple, and it took some of my worries away: Creating Good Memories.
The rest of my afternoon proved to be a little less stressful. I was able to focus on helping my mom prepare for Christmas dinner, along with Victor, just like old times. Around dinnertime Victor suspiciously left the house. If he thought I was going to play nice to land him a temporary girlfriend he had a next thing coming. The day he meets a girl to knock him off of his feet, have his tongue tied so he can’t spit his biggest drawers dropping line…I’ll be right there recording it to show at their wedding.
Mom was feeding into Ian’s addiction for coffee cake. It wasn’t necessary to bake him his own cake…fatty. I generously declined her offer to help her. Besides, watching TV sounded more appealing than doing anything…at all. The TV was watching me and the noise from the Mixer was nonexistent.
My thoughts were running like a waterfall with infinite thoughts of Ian. Every memory we shared from the quietest most peaceful ones, arguments, big and small, to our most passionate moments were all special to me.
I was so caught up in my thoughts and literally on the brink of losing my damn mind from missing him that I didn’t hear the commotion in the kitchen. That was until I heard a familiar accent with that deep voice that had the hairs on the back of my neck and every other part of my body standing at attention, asking, “Where is he?”
Victor answered, “I hear the TV.”
I turned just in time to see him walking through the archway that separated the TV room from the dinning room. I pinched myself. Okay. I wasn’t dreaming. Getting that out of the way, I jumped over the back of the couch and ran towards him. I couldn’t help myself. I jumped, wrapping my arms and legs around him. in the back of my mind I was seriously worried and my heart was pounding but I missed him so much. All I wanted was to hold onto him and feel his warmth and his arms around me. Ian’s warm breath seeped through my shirt as he breathed hard into my shoulder.
“You have to stop surprising me like this,” I said. As soon as I said what I wanted to I planted my lips against his, kissing him passionately and slowly. Ian moaned softly into my mouth, his arms tightened around me.
He pulled away and started walking towards somewhere. “And miss that look on your face? You’ll never know when I’m coming home, love.”
“That’s completely and utterly unfair,” I retorted.
“Are you pouting?” He asked, chuckling. I wasn’t pouting. I, however, had a look on my face close to it. “Dad,” Ian called. I froze. “This is my big baby, Oliver.”
Slowly, timidly, nervously, and cautiously, I undid my legs and arms from around Ian and slid down his body. In the same slow manner, I turned around and was face to face with the man from the picture. An older version of the man I was in love with.
“Haaaa—hi.” To my surprise, the man hugged me. It wasn’t a hug that said it was nice to meet me, but a hug that seemed grateful. Confused, I hugged him back, raising my eyebrows questioningly at my mother as she watched the scene unfold, who shrugged at me and went back to her cake. Well, cakes.
Pulling back, he rested both hands on my shoulders, a small smile on his lips. “I’m Oscar, pleasure to meet you.” And I thought Ian’s accent was heavy.
“Same…I think.” I’m getting a headache.
“You look confused, love. Let’s chat.”
“Okay, um, excuse me,” I said to Ian’s father as Ian slipped his hand in mine as he pulled me away. I was really getting a headache. We went up to the sitting area outside of Victor and I’s old room. This time we sat in a more intimate position than we did the first time we sat here. This time we were facing each other. I had one leg crossed underneath me and Ian had one crossed in front of him. He also had both hands rubbing my thighs soothingly.
“You don’t look so good,” he commented, his eyes squinting together worriedly.
“I don’t feel so good,” I admitted. “You were scared of your father finding out and now he knows. Not only that but he’s okay with it? Okay with us?”
“Mhm,” he answered. “After you hung up I tried to sleep but all I could think about was what would make me really happy. I decided to risk it. He is my father, and I figured he would love me no matter who I am as I would my own son if I had one. So I told him exactly how I felt. I said: ‘Dad, I’m gay.’ That’s the first time I ever said that out loud. ‘I’m in love with the most amazing man I have ever met. He’s in America. It would mean everything to me to spend Christmas with the two most important people in my life.’ You know what he said?”
“What?” I asked, smiling from ear to ear.
“I knew you were gay, Sonny, but I didn’t know you were in love. Why aren’t we hopping on that jet of yours?” Ian shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it himself. “It took me like ten minutes to start functioning again.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“He was losing weight because he was worried about me. I’m a few years away from turning forty and he was scared I was going to end up alone because of my fear of…you know. He wanted to tell me he knew but he knew it was my decision.”
“How does it feel?” I asked.
“Fucking amazing!” he answered, laughing. I laughed too because swearing is kind of my thing. The only time he swore without reason was in the heat of passion. “Oliver, there’s one more thing.”
Oh God. What now?