Life felt as normal as it could be albeit the circumstances. It was as if the last year never happened and she woke up excited to start the day every morning. If this was everything life had to offer to her, she was totally OK with that. Although she missed having someone around the house and therefore she seriously considered to get a pet. She loved having Molly around when she had stayed here with her parents and could imagine herself sitting on the sofa with a little puppy on her lap. She pulled her knees up to her chest and took a small sip of her hot chocolate. It was a typical lazy Sunday and she had made herself comfortable on the sofa. It was one of her favourite places to spend her time, because it provided the best view in the house. The green hills were reflecting summer when she looked out the window and the mountains with eternal snow provided a beautiful contrast.
Sunday was the only day she hadn't go to work and she had grabbed that opportunity to spend the whole morning on the sofa reading a book. Normally she would've hung out with Seb, but he had been away for a few days. He had told her it was work related and that he would be back on Monday again. She had understood that he had to go, but it had been very lonely these last few days. She had missed him coming in for coffee and she had to spend her breaks alone, while her colleagues were teasing her about missing Seb. With a sigh she threw the book she was reading across the room, frustrated with the fact that her colleagues were kind of right. She felt rather lost without Seb and had became rather dependent on him during these past weeks. Not that she wanted to admit that, but they had somehow fallen into a routine and seeing him was the highlight of her day.
She had laid on the sofa thinking for a long time and when she checked her watch it was already past two. Having to decide if she wanted to stay laying comfortably on the sofa or giving in to her rumbling stomach she closed her eyes. She was too lazy to stand up, but eating was kind of necessary. In the end she got herself off the sofa and made herself a sandwich, she didn't have the energy to make something spectacular today. When she flopped back down on the sofa she switched on the TV. A German speaking woman was trying to sell her cleaning supplies, not needing any she switched the channel. After flicking through several channels she ended up hearing a familiar sound. When she investigated why she had been drawn to this sound, she recognised the Formula 1 cars on the TV. It had been a long time ago since she last watched a race and a lot of memories instantly came back to her.
The nostalgic feeling was increasing when she spotted drivers like Räikkönen, Button, Massa, Webber and Schumacher. She was sure Schumacher had retired, but apparently he had came back to drive a Mercedes and she could see he hadn't lost any of his race craft. Button was leading the race, but Schumacher was battling a guy named Vettel in a Red Bull for second place. She recognised the name, but she couldn't put a face with it, he must be one of the younger guys she thought. It was and enjoyable battle to watch and she felt herself holding her breath when it looked like they would crash, but Schumacher pitted and Vettel carried on. Clued to the TV she remembered why she had loved the sport for so long and it was stupid that she had given up watching the races. Life had been so busy and there had been so many changes that she hadn't had the energy to keep up with everything.
What she could understand from the commentary was that there had been an enormous crash at the start and that a driver named Grosjean had almost decapitated Alonso and had also taken out Hamilton in the process. She also learned that Vettel was the current WDC, Button was heading to his second win of the season and Alonso was leading the championship by a large margin. Seeing the cars racing at this historic circuit made her fall in love with the sport all over again, Spa had always been one of her favourite races. She had always supported Räikkönen and therefore she followed this battle between Schumacher and him with great interest, he was named the King of Spa for a reason after all. Seeing these two still swap positions after all those years made her feel like nothing had changed, only the colours of their cars. She cheered Räikkönen on when he finally made his move stick and noticed she had been biting her nails out of nervousness. The rest of the race her heart kept pounding and she hoped nothing would fail on his car, she only felt herself relax again when they all crossed the finish line.
Her mouth had gone dry and she used the time before the podium ceremony to get herself something to drink. After a few minutes she sat back down and wrapped her hands around the warm cup of tea, resting her arms on one of the cushions. Her timing had been perfect she noticed because they were just about to start the ceremony. Seeing the podium reminded her of Ferrari's glory days and how the German anthem followed by the Italian one had turned into the official Formula 1 anthem. They announced the third place driver and Kimi walked out on the podium, his face blank as usual and no emotion was visible. She grinned, he hadn't changed at all. Then they announced the second place driver and her heart stopped at once.
She felt the air escape from her lungs and the cup of tea slipped out of her hands. The hot tea spilled on the floor, but she had only eyes for the TV. This couldn't be, she was hallucinating, she must have been hallucinating. She could recognise those blue eyes everywhere, no other eyes could capture here attention like this. Even his blonde hair, although messed up from wearing a helmet, was somehow very familiar. This wasn't a dream, this was actually real life and she was really watching Sebastian stand on the podium. He looked different wearing a Red Bull suit and the determined look in his eyes showed a whole different side of him. Her head was spinning and she only took in half of what was said on TV, she only had eyes for Sebastian. His smile was the same as the one she knew and the way he was joking on the podium showed her that it really was Seb and not someone who looked like him.
What was going on here, why hadn't he said anything about this? They knew each other long enough she thought and she couldn't understand why he would keep this significant part of his life from her. Maybe he didn't trust her or maybe he didn't want to be associated with her, it was all possible. She suddenly felt nauseous and her stomach tightened, this was not happening to her. Just as she had started to trust someone again, life had intervened to mess it all up. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the guy she had spent so many hours with for the past few weeks and his voice with that slight German accent made her hands shake. The strangest thing was that her past collided with the present when she saw Seb and Kimi laughing together, even stranger was it to see that someone apparently was able to melt the Iceman.
She stood up and her feet immediately got wet, only because of this she noticed that she had dropped her tea. She couldn't remember doing it and cursed herself for spilling it and was glad to notice the mug at least wasn't broken. Despite how ill she was feeling she went to the kitchen to get something to clean up the mess. When she knelt down with a cloth in her hand she could see tears falling to the floor, they were her own. She didn't know when she had started crying and she hadn't even been aware of it. Long after the tea had been cleaned up she kept wiping the floor, even when her arm had gone numb she kept rubbing the floor. Anger fed her desire to keep going and she only stopped when all her energy had gone. She leaned back against the sofa, trying to get her head around everything. She couldn't get the image of Seb holding his trophy out of her head and besides feeling kind of proud she mostly felt anger. Anger directed at Seb, but she was also angry with herself, for not following her own advice. She had promised herself not to get attached to someone again, because after David she had endured enough pain in her life. Fear was starting to set in again, afraid of what was coming next.
She put her head in her hands and pulled on her hair, trying to feel something different than this sick feeling in her stomach. The TV was still on and of course they were interviewing Seb at the moment, he was smiling broadly and it felt like a punch to the face. Not wanting to get up to get the remote she kept watching and hearing his voice calmed her down somewhat. His voice always had a suiting effect on her, even if she didn't want it to, like now. She wanted to hate everything about him, but she couldn't forget all the good things about him. Not that she still trusted him, but the attraction she felt towards him was still there. His eyes were as mesmerising as ever and she couldn't unglue herself from them. It was so strange to see him on the screen and the fact that he was a double world champion was a fact she couldn't get her head around. He was on a par with Alonso and she could remember him winning his two championships, joining the legends. Now they were both fighting for their third one and although Fernando had the upper hand, she knew that Seb wouldn't make it easy for him. It was weird to think about Seb in the same lines as Alonso and Räikkönen, because they were supposed to be two different worlds and now they weren't.
After laying on the sofa for what felt like hours she checked her watch, it was already past seven. Not feeling hungry yet she decided to call Abby, she needed someone to talk to and she thought Tom would die of excitement in the process. She put a hand on her forehead and chewed on her bottom lip, trying to figure out what to exactly tell Abby. With a sigh she dialled her number and waited for her to pick up.
'Keira!' a voice yelled.
She quickly held the phone further away from her ear, because she didn't want to be deaf yet. 'Hey Abbs,' she said trying to sound cheerful.
'What's wrong?' Abby asked, obviously not fooled by Keira.
'Everything,' she sighed and she adjusted the blanket that was keeping her warm.
A short silence followed before Abby answered, 'Sebastian?'
'Yes,' she sighed.
'Why, what happened?' Abby's voice sounded concerned.
'It's not like that,' she reassured her best friend, 'he's nothing like David.'
'Thank God, I was getting worried,' Abby gasped in relief.
Keira grinned and it was her first smile in hours. 'I'm not that stupid to let that happen to me twice,' she replied.
'I'm still worried though.'
'You don't have to, I can guarantee Seb is the nicest guy you'll ever meet!'
'So, what's the problem then?' said Abby not understanding the situation.
'Well, are you sitting down?' she grinned and she was envisioning Abby's face when she had finally told her.
'Keir, what's up? You're making me nervous,' her voice really did sound nervous. 'You aren't pregnant, are you?'
Keira burst out laughing and she almost fell off the sofa. 'Are you serious? I always made sure David wouldn't be able to get me pregnant,' she said indignantly.
'I didn't mean David...,' a chuckle came from the other side of the line.
Throwing a cushion at Abby's face was unfortunately not a possibility right now, so Keira just groaned. 'Seb and I are just friends as I have told you a thousand times already. Also I'm not ready to get that close to someone again just yet,' she said with a sigh.
'Well, you're always telling me how good looking he is. I wouldn't be surprised if something had happened between you,' Abby said gleefully. 'I mean, you deserve someone who makes you happy and treats you well,' she added.
'He is really good looking, I can't deny that. Just wait until you see him smile and you'll understand what I mean. However, we're really just friends,' she tried to convince her best friend.
'If you say you're just friends, then I believe you. I know he's cute, that photo you send me of you baking that cake was really adorable. I wish I could get guys looking like that!'
'You can get any guy you like, so also the good looking ones,' Keira shook her head in annoyance.
'You're right, I really am a slut I guess,' Abby didn't sound disappointed at all and a muffled giggle was audible.
'As long as you're happy,' Keira grinned and that was true. If this was what made her happy, then why the hell not? As long as she didn't start to ask money for it, then she would have to lock her up.
'Alright, we're not talking about me. Now tell me what's wrong with Sebastian,' Abby said in a stern voice.
Keira bit her lip and a rush of nerves spread through her body. 'You know Formula 1, right?'
'Yes, of course. Tom can't stop talking about it since the British GP at Silverstone, I think I can describe by the minute what he has done that weekend.'
'So you know the key players in Formula 1?' Keira asked tentatively.
'Hm, of course I know the British ones. They are Hamilton and Button, right? Tom would kill me if I get these wrong. Then there's Alonso, Massa, Webber, Vettel and Räikkönen I think they're called, why?' she sounded confused by the odd question.
'Tom really taught you well,' she grinned. Tom was a complete nerd when it came to motorsports and since he now worked in that field he wanted everyone to know about it.
'You know Tom, I had no choice!' Abby exclaimed. 'But what has this do with it all?' she asked puzzled.
Keira took a deep breath before answering. 'What if I tell you that Sebastian and Vettel are the same person?' she said quickly almost tripping over her words.
'I don't under-,' Abby began. 'Wait, what?!' she yelled through the phone.
'That was also my reaction when I found out,' Keira answered. She kicked her feet against one of the cushions and it fell off the sofa.
'How?! I don't understand!' Abby was still yelling.
'I don't either, he never told me,' Keira gasped in exasperation and she felt anger starting to rise again.
'What do you mean he never told you? How did you find out?'
'I was flicking through the channels today and the race came up. When they did the trophy ceremony there he was, on the second step of the podium,' Keira said with a torn voice.
'No way! I can't believe he didn't tell you!'
'Me neither,' Keira grumbled. 'I mean, he's the current world champion. Not forgetting that he is a double world champion already.'
Abby gasped and was clearly lost for words. 'He's famous, Keir.'
'Yes, I do understand that fact,' she shot back. This wasn't funny and she still couldn't grasp the whole situation.
'What are you going to tell him?'
'Nothing, I really don't want to talk to him. I can't trust him anymore.'
'I agree, why would he keep this from you?' Abby asked indignantly.
Keira sighed and rolled over on the sofa. 'I don't know, that's why I'm so angry. He never saw me as a real friend apparently.'
'Then he's stupid if that's the case.'
'I don't care anymore, I just want to forget about him and go home.'
'Good girl, that's the spirit. Have you found something to live already?' Abby sounded interested.
'A few I'm interested in, so I have to decide in the near future. I can't stay here forever,' Keira said sounding determined. She had to make a choice at some point, so better start sooner than later.
'Oh, by the way, don't tell Tom!' Abby suddenly sounded alarmed, 'because he would show up at your doorstep the next day to kidnap Sebastian.'
Keira grinned, poor Tom. Not that Abby was wrong, so she decided not to tell Tom for now. 'Thanks for the warning,' she chuckled.
'But I have to go now, I can smell something burning. I think it's my lasagne,' Abby said sounding worried.
'Can't be good if that's the case. Bon appetite then and I'll speak to you soon.'
'Take care and don't worry too much about Seb, everything will work out in the end. I promise!'
'If you say so, but I'll try. Don't worry,' she said trying to reassure Abby.
'Love you!'
'I love you too.'
She heard a click and Abby had hung up thephone, leaving her alone again.