A/N -- Got bored. Did a quick little black and white of Hench featuring a quote from last chapter because I'm in love with her character right now. Hope you enjoy! (Click on it to see the full size)
Also! EXCITING! Right now, Fearless is still in an overhaul. But, I'm actually adding content to the book (off wattpad) and aim to self publish it by the end of next year! (As my chances of traditional publishing were completely shot to hell when someone stole my work). Also, I'm actually heavily considering a Hench prequel after I finish Guardian called "Cricket" (by request of my best friend here), so I'd like to get you guy's thoughts on that.
Iris and Hench walked out of the East Hall an hour later, both still sniffling from their earlier conversation. Iris still held on to the journal. "Are you sure you don't want this diary back? she asked her sister. "I mean... it's yours. " As weird as that still was. Rhalla Elias Gwenneth... damn. Iris was definitely going to take a little while to fully wrap her head around that one.
Hench shook her head. "Nah," she snorted. "Nah, I don't need it. Keep it."
"But it's yours," Iris argued. "You should keep writing in it."
The woman laughed loudly. "Girl, I probably have little dresses that are mine laying around. Doesn't mean I should still try and wear them," she pointed out, and then sobered. "No, that journal means a lot to you. You should keep it. You only went crazy looking for it after it disappeared."
A new thought surfaced in Iris's mind, and immediately, she narrowed her eyes. "Right. Hench, how did you get it anyway?" she asked. "Did you sneak in my room and steal it?"
"If we're getting technical," Hench began with a wink. "I can't steal something that belongs to me. But no, I just asked Kayde to bring it to me and not tell you about it. He's the one that took it from your room."
The mention of his name sent Iris back into a sick sense of dread. Hench seemed to notice, because she placed a hand on Iris's shoulder. "What's wrong, girl?" she asked.
"The guardian trials," Iris answered. "That last trial --I'm not going to lie, you've sent my life into a state of turmoil with that one." It was an honest answer. After a minute, Iris looked up at Hench. "Why did you give me that trial? Why would you make me do something like that to Zayn? To Kayde?"
"Because, girl," Hench said. "I may not say much, but I know things. You had feelings for Kayde, and I saw that. I did it because you deserve to be with the person you care for. Like I said to you earlier in our training, you should always strive to be with the person you're in love with. It's the greatest gift we are given, and I firmly believe that. And I did it because Zayn deserves someone that loves him without reserve... without doubt. He's a good guy, Iris. He's been sniffing down my ass for the last few months in his grand Cricket hunt for you," Hench told her. "He found me too, actually. I'll be mightily surprised if that's not the first thing he says to you when you see him again. Anyways, someone like him is fully deserving of real love. He wouldn't have been able to achieve that in you."
Iris looked guilty. Hench lightly swatted her. "Don't make that face, girl. You're not the bad guy, It is not your fault you didn't return the sentiment. It's just life. That's the way things are."
"I should talk to him," Iris said.
"You certainly should," Hench agreed. "He's in the main lobby, girl. I told him to wait there for you."
Iris nodded and took a deep breath. For the rest of the walk to Zayn Rothstead, neither of the women said anything to each other. When they entered the main lobby, sure as the sun rose each morning, the general sat there. Hench clapped Iris on the back and sent her forward. "Go talk to him, girl. I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." The rogue turned to face her sister and smiled.
"You have to hug me," she said with open arms. "Every night. We have to make up for those twenty years we lost."
Hench chuckled and wrapped her arms around her sister. "I love you, girl. Congratulations."
"I love you too. Sleep well," Iris replied.
After that, Hench walked off. By that time, the general had already spotted Iris and was making his way up to her. Iris steeled herself for a painful conversation. Zayn walked to stand directly in front of her, his expression unreadable thus far. "Hello, Iris. It's good to see you again," came the customary greeting. "Congratulations on becoming a Remorda Guardian."
"Zayn, I am so sorry," she whispered right away, cutting to the chase. "I never meant..."
"Shh," he cut her off with a gesture. "Don't do that, alright?" Now, he offered a smile, and Iris could tell it was a weak one. "I'll admit, this really does... suck. But I'm not mad at you. I want you to know that."
"I wish you were," Iris found his eyes. "I wish you would scream at me or something. "
"You know I wouldn't do that," he said, and that only made it worse. "If it makes you feel better, I wasn't completely blind-sided. I knew what I was coming here to do. Your mentor warned me to expect exactly what happened in there." Zayn paused. "Last time I saw you, I told you I wanted you to be happy no matter what. Iris, I meant that. So, do what you need to do, alright? I can handle it."
"You're being way too nice to me," Iris whispered. "I'm such a traitor."
"You never betrayed me," Zayn replied. "I doubt you ever acted on your feelings. And even if you had, Iris, you broke our betrothal before you came here." Iris confirmed his words with a nod. She'd never once acted on her feelings. He chuckled, but it was humorless. "Your Hench had to make it a guardian trial because this was such a hard thing for you to do. You far from betrayed me."
Iris couldn't find words to say.
"Now," Zayn said, "We may not be getting married, Iris. But I want you to promise me something, alright?"
"Yes?" Iris asked weakly.
"Promise me our paths will still cross after this," he offered. "This is me asking you to stay friends with me. You're a hell of a person to lose completely."
"I promise." She could keep that vow.
He nodded and swallowed a breath. "Alright," he said, digesting their conversation. "Iris, there's something you need to know. Something about your sister."
Iris grinned now. "That she's a lying asshole that told me she was dead?"
This made Zayn smile. "Ah, she finally told you. Good. " A weight lifted itself from the general's shoulders. "I'm glad she was the one that told you. I hope that she's everything you wanted in a sister." Iris nodded. Zayn continued. "Iris, I know you and her have a close relationship by now. You need to convince her to go see her aunt. Renna is dying to meet her --to see her. To see who she's become after all these years. Renna needs to see that she's alright so that she can finally find peace. You'll have to tell me how it goes... should we meet again."
"Did you tell her... what to expect?" Iris worded that the best way she could.
"You mean the obscenely large muscles, the short hair, and her choice of lover?" Zayn said, and chuckled softly. "Of course not. I haven't told her anything about Rhalla. Haven't even told her she mentored you. I thought all of that would be a fun discovery for your aunt to make all on her very own."
"She's going to shit a brick, Zayn." Iris laughed. "You're a cruel man."
"Only a little," he said with a chuckle. "Bring her home, alright?"
"I'll give it my best," Iris agreed. "That's all I can promise."
----
Iris had almost gone back to her room after she spoke with Zayn. Almost. She'd gotten all the way to the door before deciding that there was one more thing she had to do before bed. She trembled as she stared at the name plate. Kayde Vorantis. Oh gods, what a nightmare. What could she even say to him?
She didn't know. Still, she knocked.
"Come in," came his musical voice from the other side.
Iris took a deep breath and opened the door. She found him laying on his bed, reading a book. Green eyes flicked up at her, and he laid his story down beside him after a few moments and got to his feet. "Greetings, dearest girl," he offered with a smile. "Congratulations on passing your guardian trials. I knew you could do it."
"Thanks," Iris said and laid the journal she still had in her hands down on one of his inn tables.
"Ah, so she gave it back to you." Kayde took notice of the object. "Iris, she all but forced me to get that from you. I'm so sorry."
Iris smiled. "Do you know why?"
Kayde shook his head. "No. Just told me she needed it. I assumed it was for your guardian trials."
"No," Iris replied. "No, she wrote in it."
Kayde looked confused. "But that's Cricket's journal."
Iris got tearful again at the reminder. She beamed and wiped her eyes. "I know it is, Kayde," she said with a trembling voice.
They locked eyes for a moment and then Kayde's eyes went wide. "Iris... is Hench...?
Iris nodded. "Yes, Kayde," she whispered. "Cricket never died. She's been here all along. Hench is Rhalla Elias Gwenneth. Cricket's alive." That admission had Kayde looking both surprised and heavily touched. After a few seconds, he walked over and picked up the journal. Iris flipped to the page Hench had written in and let Kayde read over it.
He looked up after he was done with wet eyes. "Okay, dear girl," his voice was low. "I'm so happy for you. I can't believe this."
"Are you going to cry?" Iris teased him in good humor, hoping to lighten the mood. She didn't need to cry again. She'd certainly done enough of that for one night.
He chuckled. "I just might," he answered. "This is touching indeed."
Iris nodded in agreement, and things went completely quiet for what felt like a very long time. Kayde moved a little way away from her and just stared at something beyond her --beyond the room entirely. He clasped his hands together. Iris just stared at him. How was she going to start this? Should she even bring it up? Yes. Yes, she should. Because the longer it lingered, the harder it would become to discuss.
"Kayde?" she said, her voice quiet.
His eyes snapped back to her face, registering it once more. "Iris," he said her name, and she could tell he was likely about to beat her to the punch. "Iris, I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Understand what?" Iris asked, though she knew good and damn well what.
He took a deep breath. "You walked to me. That's what I don't understand."
"I did." Iris stared at her feet. "I'm sorry."
"I don't know that I need an apology, Iris. I just need an explanation. Over a year ago now," Kayde said, digging up old memories and laying them bare. "We were in Wallfront. I was with you in your inn room, and I told you that I was completely in love with you, Iris. And," he paused, "--and on that day, you chose Zayn Rothstead over me." It was a statement and a question all at the same time.
Iris met his eyes. "I chose wrong." Now, she turned away from him and stammered. "I... This must be so terribly awkward for you, and I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I didn't mean to ruin our friendship with this, please don't..."
"Iris, don't apologize," he interrupted her. "It's completely unnecessary, dear girl." He used a hand to whirl her back around. "And don't walk away, either. We should probably talk about this."
"I know," Iris said and let out a humorless laugh. "I suppose this whole thing has come full circle, hasn't it? The gods are ironic like that. You offered me everything that night. And I said no," she said, suddenly feeling more regret than she'd ever felt in her whole life. The next words came out like vomit, and she wasn't able to stop them. "And then I come back a year too late and look at you. I look at you and I... I want everything you ever offered me. You knew what was inside of me all along, and you've always brought out the best in me. I owe everything to you, and the craziest part about that is that I want to owe it. I want to give it. I want to see what it would be like for you to hold me. I want to know what it's like to run my fingers through your stupid, shiny hair and hear you call me my love. I want to go to that house you have and make it home again. I want to look into the sparkle of your eyes and know that I'm one of the reasons you breathe. I want to try loving you like I should have after you confessed in Wallfront. And gods damn it all, I just want you." She finally caught herself, and seemed to realize all that she'd said. When she realized that it probably made everything worse, she stammered. "I probably shouldn't have said all that... I'm sorr--"
Suddenly, there was a hand over her mouth. Kayde shook his head, and some emotion swam in his eyes. He repeated himself. "Please don't apologize."
Iris just met his eyes. He moved his hand from her mouth and chuckled. "Well, you surely outdo me. That was almost one hundred times better than when I confessed." Kayde grinned. "You have a way with words."
Iris laughed a little. "Do I?"
"You do," Kayde assured her. Cautiously, he raised a hand to the curtain of her curls and brushed them backwards. Iris felt the warmth of his hand just barely graze her chin, and he lifted her head slightly to stare directly into her face. From there, he didn't move. There was something loving about his eyes as he surveyed her. "Iris, I don't think you know how tightly you hold my heart in your hands. I will always be yours if you want me."
And he meant it. When Iris had said those words to him, everything inside of him had taken flight. Oh, he loved her. He would always love her... and to know that there was even a chance that she might return it was more than he could have ever hoped for. There was no feeling in the world that compared when she'd walked to him in her trial.
He wanted to kiss her. He probably should kiss her. He almost did.
She beat him to it. Her arms found a way around his shoulders and tangled themselves in his hair and Iris kissed him with all she had. Her mouth was soft and giving --drawing deep from the wells of his heart, and he was hers forever. His arms wrapped around her waist and an incredible sense of home came over him. It was like he'd been standing about in the world all this time up until now.
The guardian knew with great certainty that there were two true and defining moments in life: the moment of being born into the world, and the moment of actually coming alive.
And she was his moment.
Iris felt his arms around her waist warm more than her skin. Her soul was on fire and so were her nerves. This was a moment of having enough and not having enough. It was like she was surfacing after being underwater for a long time and taking that first breath back into her lungs. It was taking breath after greedy breath and still needing yet another taste of air. Her heart was completely satisfied and yet her skin tingled in such a way that begged for more... more... Oh, but she couldn't partake.
She drew back, and inhaled deeply. Her hand finally came from his hair to his face. "You still care for me." Iris had to say the words aloud to make herself fully believe she'd come across so much luck in one day.
"Aye," his voice trembled. "I still more than care for you, my dearest girl."
A/N -- No words to say. I just can't even right now. Hope you enjoyed.