Here you are, sitting on your bathroom floor with tears leaking from your eyes.
If you could rewind time, you would. Hell, you would do it in a heartbeat. You don't know what to do. You're a bad person, how could you do something like this? How could you hurt Jordan like this?
Jordan Parrish, your boyfriend of almost three years would be home any moment now. You had no idea how to tell him.
How to tell him that you're pregnant.
The tears never stopped falling and the more you think about it, the more you want to run away. You want to run away from the truth, you want to run away from reality.
But you couldn't.
Jordan had always wanted a child, when the time was right, of course. He had told you this countless times in the early months of your relationship.
A couple of months ago, he told you that he wouldn't mind trying. And because your biggest dream is to be a mother, you happily agreed.
"I'm so sorry Jordan." You whisper even though he is nowhere near. Although he is probably on his way back from the Sheriff's station right now; as you sit here and cry.
What you had done was unforgivable. It wasn't your intention. You didn't want it to happen, but it did, and there is nothing you can do that will change that.
Your head snaps up as you hear the front door unlock and open. You stand up from where you sit and wipe away your tears.
A smile finds its way to Jordan's face as he sees you enter the living room. "Hey baby." He greets. His smile slowly fades away when he notices your current state. You can only imagine how much of a wreck you must look. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
He hurries over towards you and cups your face with his hands. You shut your eyes and allow a tear to fall down onto his palm.
"I'm pregnant." You tell him, looking up to meet his gaze. The familiar smile covers his face.
"Y/N, that's... That's amazing. That's incredible. Oh my god." He wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly. Everything just became even harder for you.
In a few moments his grip loosens and he faces you once again.
This is it. You have to tell him right now.
"But it might not be your baby Jordan." You immediately break your gaze as the words leave your mouth. You don't want to see his reaction. His hands leave your waist and he takes a few steps backwards.
"What... W-What do you mean?" His voice is soft. There are no words to describe how you feel. You're such a terrible person. "Wait, don't answer that. I don't think I want to know the answer." His voice is stronger this time and the thought of him yelling at you causes a few more tears to roll down your cheeks.
"Jordan, I'm so sorry I-"
"Whose baby could it be?" He crosses his arms over his chest, a frown carved into his features.
"Jordan-"
"Whose baby could it be Y/N! Answer the damn question!" He shouts and you flinch at the sudden change of tone.
"M-My, my ex." You stutter and cover your face with your hands, feeling horrible.
"Your ex? What the hell were you doing with your ex?" He steps forward. You stay silent. "Answer me!"
"I'm sorry. H-He was in town and I just ran into him. I'm sorry Jordan it wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want it to happen." You try to explain, but he shakes his head, laughing bitterly.
"I can't believe this. I can't believe you. How could you?" He lowers his voice. You look up and your eyes meet with his now glossy ones.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I can't explain how sorry I am. But I'm not saying the baby is his, there is a possibility, but there is also a chance it's yours." You walk towards him, but he moves back, keeping the space between the both of you.
"You don't get it." He looks down. "That's not the fûcking point Y/N! You slept with somebody else. You destroyed me. How could I ever trust you again?" He raises his voice again.
"I'm sorry Jordan, I really am. But I can't undo it no matter how much I want to. I'm so sorry. And I can say it for the rest of my life, and it still wouldn't be enough, I know that. I'm not expecting you to forgive me. I'm not. It was a stupid mistake, and I had absolutely no reason to go off and do that."
"You can't expect me to carry on as if nothing happened." He says.
You nod your head. "I know. I'm not expecting you to... But I'm willing to give you all the time that you need."
He doesn't say anything. He just stands there in silence, looking deep in thought. You know that you broke him more than one can ever imagine and you hate yourself for it.
"I'll go." You pick up the duffel bag you had packed earlier.
"Where are you going?" He looks at you.
"Lydia's. I'm going to stay there until we figure something out. I just want to give you the space that you need... But Jordan, please, please don't give up on us. I love you so much. I am so sorry." You blink, allowing the tears to fall.
Again, he doesn't say anything. You don't wait any longer and make your way towards the front door. He doesn't stop you; you're not expecting him to. You want him to think about everything.
You'll never forgive yourself for what you had let happen between you and your ex, and you're not expecting Jordan to either. But you are holding on to the small bit of hope inside your heart that maybe, just maybe one day he will find it in him to forgive you.
"Goodbye Jordan." You whisper. You walk out and close the door behind you, not sure of how long it will be until you see him again.