Teen Wolf Imagines ➵

Stiles; Blame

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Tossing and turning in bed, Stiles couldn't fall asleep. It's been this way for the past few nights. He would lie awake, staring at the ceiling until the morning when the sunshine penetrated his bedroom curtains.

But tonight was different. He did fall asleep. But it wasn't long until he was woken up by his own screaming. His dad rushed into the room and cradled his teenage son like he was seven years old again. He tried to comfort him, but nothing seemed to work. Stiles' crying was relentless. They stayed this way until the morning.

"You don't have to go in today Stiles." Sheriff Stilinski said. Stiles felt like he didn't have a choice. He didn't want to miss out on any work at school.

"I'll be okay, dad." He picked up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder.

Stiles climbed into his car and drove the familiar route. It was only until five minutes later that he realized that this wasn't the way to Beacon Hills High School, it was the way to Y/N's house.

"Dammit." He muttered under his breath, stopping the car immediately. He tried his best to keep his mind occupied on anything else as he made his way to school.

After arriving, it wasn't hard to find any of his friends. Lydia stood by his locker, waiting for him. "Hey." He simply greeted when he approached her.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked, her words accompanied by a sad smile.

"I'm okay," Stiles lied, "almost stopped by her house this morning, you know, to pick her up." He slightly laughed. Lydia didn't need a name to specify who he was talking about.

"Stiles, you're not okay. You don't have to pretend to be okay." She looked at him as he avoided eye contact, transferring books from his locker into his bag. He stopped.

"Alright fine," he slammed the locker shut, causing Lydia to flinch, "I'm fucking falling apart. Is that what you wanted to hear?" She didn't say anything. Stiles sighed, "I'm sorry, that was wrong. I'm just, I'm just so tired. I haven't been able to sleep."

"You don't have to apologize. We're all hurting. We all need time." She quietly said, keeping her gaze fixated on her boots.

Lunch had become the worst time of the day. Having everybody sitting together only made it more obvious that somebody was missing. There wasn't a lot of talking going on at the table; a dark cloud hung over their heads.

Allison opened her mouth to say something, then didn't. But then she did, "I miss her." Suddenly there was a sting in Stiles' chest. He remained silent.

Scott first looked at Stiles, then to Allison, "we all do."

"There's nothing we could've done." Isaac spoke up from beside Allison. As soon as the words left his mouth, Stiles looked up from his meal.

"Except, I don't know, not drag her into the mess," Stiles scoffed, "tell her she shouldn't come along. Let her stay at home where she could be safe."

"She wanted to help find Lydia. She wanted to come." Allison said. Stiles turned to look at her.

"Well we shouldn't have let her!" He snapped, instantly regretting raising his voice at his friends. He took a deep breath, "I shouldn't have let her."

"No, you can't blame yourself Stiles. It's not your fault. It's not any of our faults." Scott reassured him.

"That's where you're wrong." Stiles shook his head. All he could think about was the many different ways he could've stopped Y/N from going with them to find Lydia and fight the Nogitsune. But he didn't.
"It is all my fault. I was supposed to protect her, always. That was a promise I made to her. And I didn't. I couldn't. She's dead now. And I have only myself to blame. It's my fault and there's nothing you can say to change my mind." Stiles cried out loud, he could barely breathe at this point.

The others watched him with tear glazed eyes. They didn't know what else they could do. Lydia wrapped her arms around him as she began to cry too. And so the rest of them followed; all comforting Stiles and all crying. The sudden loss of their friend had broken them completely.

The rest of Stiles' nights continued to be restless and sleepless. All he wanted was to be able to dream. All he wanted was to be able to see Y/N again, even if it was only in his dreams.

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