I don't know what happened but I found myself glancing up at a white wall. My vision was hazy and blurry. I couldn't quite get my eyes to focus on anything. They were going in and out. I blinked a couple of times before I could see the pale wall. My eyes followed down to what was in front of me. My body laid there covered in thick white blankets. I was laying down on a high sliming bed with rails up on each side. I caught a glimpse of my arm, it had tubs taped to it along with a thick hospital band that read, Theresa A. Jackson. I felt my eyebrows furrow, as the confusion rolled through my brain. It didn't take me long to realize I was in a hospital, but how I had came to be there was a huge mystery to me. I couldn't remember anything at all.
I glanced towards the window out towards the sky. It was just now breaking dawn. I could tell by the way that the highest part of the sky was deep dark blue with stars all across it and the lowest parts were slowly turning to a light blue. The light that entered the room hurt my eyes. I quickly turned my attention away from the window and rested them upon a woman who was wearing royal blue scrubs. She had her back turned to me. I opened my mouth and tried to speak but my throat was so dry; it felt as if I hadn't had water in months. The only thing that escaped my lips was a moan.
The woman spun on her heels so quick that I thought she would fall. Her big hazel brown eyes widened as if she was shocked. Her face then relaxed and she walked towards me. " My God, Mrs. Jackson you're awake!" she said as she checked the machines. She had a huge smile stretched across her face as she turned back to me." How do you feel?"
I opened my mouth and tried to speak but my words was lost in the dryness of my throat.
"Here," She said softly. " This ice will help with that, just let it melt on your throat. You've been out for a while. We weren't expecting you to wake up for another two and a half weeks." She said as she slid the ice in my mouth. As soon as the cool wetness of the ice hit my parched throat it started to feel better. "I have to go get the doctor. Just continue to suck on that ice. "
I wondered what she meant when she said that I had been out for a while. I felt as if I had went into a deep sleep for at least twenty four hours. I continued to suck on the ice while I waited for someone else to come in.
Soon an older man came in with a long coat on. He gave me a smile. " Hi, Mrs. Jackson, how are you?" He asked.
I swallowed the last bit of the ice cube the nurse had give to me. I swallowed hard and tried to clear my throat. "Why..." was the only word that escaped my lips.
He walked over to me and shined a light in my eyes." Can you follow the light please?"
I obeyed, following the light from left to right and up and down. " I see no funny eye movements. That's good. How's your breathing, are you having a problems breathing?" He asked. "Nod yes, or shake your head no. "
I shook my head.
He took a cup and held a straw up to my mouth." Here, drink as much as you can."
As soon as the water ran down my throat I found myself drinking the whole thing down. Why am I so thirsty? I asked myself. When I was done he pulled it away from my mouth and handed it to the nurse. " Do feel any pain in your ribs or your arms or legs?"
I shook my head. "I....feel...really numb." My words came out in a whisper.
" That's expected, don't worry."
"Should I call her family?" The nurse asked. " Visiting hours will be start ending very soon."
He studied me as his thick graying eyebrow rose slightly." Yes, call them and tell them she's finally awake."
The nurse nodded and left the room.
" Why am I here?" I asked softly. My accent sounded weird to my ears.
" I want to wait until your husband gets here before I tell you."
"Am I still in New York?" I asked.
He nodded." You remember that?"
" I remember flying here to see my mom for something, I don't remember what."
He wrote something down on a clipboard."Do you remember your name, your full name?" He asked.
" Theresa Adriana Jackson." I said.
"What's your maiden name?"
"Morrison."
"Do you know what year you were born?"
"In 1958, I think."
"Do you know what year it is?"
"1991," I said it slowly because I was somewhat unsure.
He nodded as he skimmed through the paper. " Do you remember if you are married or not?"
I nodded slowly." Yes, I remember."
" Do you know who?"
"Michael Jackson."
"Do you know what year?"
"1988,"
"Do you remember your occupations?"
I looked over at the door as I thought for a moment. " Um, I was a psychiatrist for four years then I started focusing more on my career as a novelist. I'm also a dancer and a model."
"How about what your native to?"
"I'm Brazilian."
" Well your memory hasn't been effected at all, that's rare."
Just then the nurse walked in. I could see my brother following behind her. He smiled when he met my eye contact. "Tes!" He walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek.
" Where's Michael?"
" He's coming, " The nurses said. " He was actually on his way to see you, he should be on the floor. "
"Can someone explain to me why I'm here?" I noticed that the doctor was trying avoid my questioning. As if he didn't want to answer the question. I saw the look on my brothers have as his lips pressed into a hard line.
" Uh- Michael is almost here, he misses you." He said.
I shot him a look. " Josh, stop trying yo avoid my question, I want to know why I am he-"
"Terri..." I heard his voice breath. I turned my attention towards the door where I saw him standing there. His eyes glistened in the dim room light. He walked over to me and sat down in the chair that was next to my bed. He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. "You're awake," his voice was in relief but I could tell there was something off about him. He didn't seem to be himself.
I reached up and stroked his face. "Why am I here, why are all these tubes hooked up to me?" I asked him, hoping that he could tell me.
His big brown eyes saddened as he tighten his grip on my hand. He began stroking my hair with his other hand; I knew something was wrong. He looked at Josh as if he was saying Help me, please.
My brother began playing with his red hair as he sat down. "Well uh, when you left Anna's house and got into that taxi.....the car had....uh....." he let his sentence trail as he sighed helplessly. "Doc?"
The doctor looked at him and nodded. " Mrs. Jackson, the taxi you were in crashed. An eighteen wheeler collided into the car and it rolled over at least four times. You've suffered from broken ribs, a fractured skull and you've been in a coma for two and a half months." he said as he glanced over at Michael. I cut my eyes at him, he was watching my face carefully. Waiting for a reaction. " You've made a great recovery while you were out, you may be able to dance again but its too early to tell. Do you have any memory of what happened at all?"
I closed my eyes tightly, straining myself to remember exactly what happened." All I remember is getting upset with my mother and leaving. I called a cab and had Josh put my bags and my son-" My eyes widened. "Did you say that I was in an car accident? "I turned to Michael. " Where's Miguel, is he okay?"
Michael turned his head away from me.
With that I began to panic. " O que aconteceu, o que aconteceu? Onde ele está? Ele está bem?" I spoke so quickly everyone one in the grew confused.
"Do I need to bring a translator?" The nurse whispered.
Michael shook his head. " No," he said faintly. " She wants to know what happened to him....she's wondering if he's okay." His voice broke at the word okay.
The doctor walked over to my bed." the crash was very bad. The driver had alcohol in his system and you were the only surviver."
It took a moment for the words to sink in. I glanced at the pale wall ahead, You were the only surviver. The words burned me to the depth of my soul. My whole world began to spin and I began to feel nauseated. The pale wall began to become blurry as the tears began to sting my eyes. I was so overwhelmed by the emotions, I didn't know whether it not I was devastated, angry, or if I was getting the first taste of a long road of depression. My mind was stuck on the fact that he was gone.
" We had the funeral..." Josh said, breaking me away from my thoughts. " We wanted to wait until you woke up, but at the time you was so bad that we didn't think you would wake up. "
I looked at him as the tears continued to roll down my face. He gave me an apologetic look. I pulled my attention away from and looked at the ceiling. I didn't like what I was feeling. I didn't like it at all. I knew I shouldn't have come there. Why did even try to help? What was there for me to do? What more could have done. I was trying to be a good sister and daughter and ended up losing one of my own. My only son. He was only a year old. I closed my eyes as his face flooded into my brain. Maybe there's a reason why God let this happen. Maybe he wanted him to be closer him for some unknown reason. I shouldn't let this hurt me too much. I'll be able more children....I can't let this pain take over me.
I drew in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly; pushing all the pain away and locking it in a closet. Where I could never let it bother me again.
"Can I have a moment alone with my wife, please?" He asked politely.
" Yes, of course." The doctor said as he placed the clipboard at the end of the bed. The nurse followed behind him and Josh followed along with them. Michael stood up and closed the door behind them. He stayed there for moment, all I could hear was. his breathing being faintly muffled by the beeping of the monitors. He dropped his head and turned towards me.
"Can you scoot over?" He asked softly. "Does it hurt for you to move?"
I answered his question by slowly moving until I felt my arm hit the bed rails. He took his hat off and sat it in the chair and pulled up one of the many blankets that was under me. He slowly wrapped his arms around my body.
"Say something." He said. He pressed his forehead against mine.
I looked away from him." I don't know what to say, I'm still trying to process it."
"He loved you, remember that."
I nodded, " I am."
"I didn't want them to have the funeral..." his warm whispers hit my face as he spoke. "I wanted to wait until you woke up but they said that we couldn't."
" Its okay, " I whispered back.
" I'm putting off the tour until you get better. We need time to grieve."
"You've had time to grieve," I pointed out.
He shook his head." I couldn't even think about it while you were in that coma, I was so worried about you. Yes, I was hurting that Miguel is gone, but I was also going mad while wondering if you were going to wake up or not. They told Josh and Anna that they thought you were dead. "
"Anna?" I asked.
He nodded. " She's been coming up here since the accident happened, and Kelsi went into labor early."
"What?"
"Yeah, she woke up a week after you had came in. She went into labor that night. Its a girl, they named her Selena. "
Selena? why does that name sound so familiar.
"I don't think I should be telling you all of this considering the fact that you just woke up after two and a half months."
"Its been that long?"
He nodded slowly." Longest one of my life, I thought I was going to die myself."
I closed my eyes and nodded my head. I didn't want speak any more. I felt his lips press against my forehead. Then the tip of my nose. He then reached up and lifted my chin pressing his lips against mine tenderly. Feeling those soft lips upon mine set my soul on fire. It somehow took away the pain that I was feeling deep within my soul. He pulled himself closer to me and whispered, "Are you sleepy?"
"Are you?"
"I haven't really slept much the past couple of months." He said.
"You should sleep then."
He shook his head stubbornly." I've missed you, and right now, I don't want sleep because I don't want to miss a thing that you do."
I nodded my head under his chin and rested it within the plumped pillows. I didn't know at the time, but the decision that I had made when I heard the news of my son was going to have a major on impact on our lives. I was soon going to find out who that fake white sheep Luther was talking about was. I was slowly heading on a road of darkness without even knowing it....