Chapter 8 - Struggles.
Destiny.
My eyes widened in shock. How could Trent possibly know that his father is sitting less than five feet away from him? The only people who know are Craig, Janay, Tequan, My Dad,-
MY DAD! He has been with them all day today. Maybe he let it slip? Or maybe he despises me so much that he just told them straight up.
I just find it hard to believe that my dad would scoop that low just because we had a 'disagreement'. That is my hugest secret and I just don't think he would spill it. Not on purpose anyways. I've known my dad for a while now, and he knows how to keep his mouth shut.
So if it wasn't him, then that really only leaves Tequan. I don't think that's possible either, though. Everytime Tequan has been with Trey, I've been right beside him. Sure, he's given hints here and there but let's face it, Trey is not the brightest person.
So if it wasn't those two, who could it have been?
"Wait," Trey said, his features showing that he is suprised, "They don't know who their father is?"
"We do now!" Ne'Vaeh squealed.
So both of them know?! For fucks sake!!
I shook my head, "N-No," I stuttered nervously, "He, uh, left me before I could....tell him I was pregnant."
Trey nodded slowly, looking deep into thought. He has that cute thinking face on. It's still as adorable as it was when we were 17. *Insert dreamy sigh here.*
"Are you weady for me to tell you, mommy?!" Trent exclaimed happily.
My palms started to get sweaty. My right leg shaking unconciously fast. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I don't know what he's about to say, but I pray to God that he just had a dream about who his dad was.
I really didn't want him to say Trey, when he's sitting right here. That would be horrible. I don't want him to find out right now. Not from anyone else but myself. I know he wouldn't understand why I did it, so he'd be angry with me. I just hope he'll forgive me....
"S-Sure baby." I agree'd, "Who's your daddy?"
"Him name is....." Ne'Vaeh trailed off, glancing at her brother.
Is she trying to kill me with anticipation right now?! Spit it out girl! I screamed internally.
"JUZ10 BIEBAA!!" They both yelled.
I let out a shaky breath that I hadn't noticed I was holding. I chuckled, feeling the adrenanline leaving my systyem.
I glanced at Trey to see him clutching his stomach, laughing uncontrollably.
"Who told you that?" I asked.
"Juz10 did mommy!" Ne'Vaeh replied.
"Really?" Trey mused, "How so?"
He sure was getting a kick out of this. That annoying ass smirk was painted onto his face and I would give anything (besides my kids) to slap it off. For good.
"He was at the carnival today!"
"He was?"
"Yes! But he didn't move much...." Trent said sadly.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"He didn't move, mommy! I just said that!" He exclaimed.
I rose an eyebrow, "Watch your tone before I get my belt." I scolded.
I don't whoop my kids because I don't believe in it. The pain doesn't do anything but hurt them and that's the last thing I want. Plus, if I did whoop them, they'd get old enough to where it didn't affect them any longer. If I started grounding them then, they wouldn't take it seriously. So I use the timeout method and taking things away. It will always be affective.
He hung his head in shame, "Sowwy mommy."
"It's okay, Trent." I smiled. "So why didn't he move?"
"I don't knowww! Him was talking though." Ne'Vaeh wondered. "I asked him was him my daddy and him said 'yeah'."
Trey suddenly burst into laughter, "You sure it wasn't just that wax figure with the voice box inside?"
"No!" Trent snapped at him, "It wasn't! He's my daddy! Shut up you meany!"
Trent hopped off my lap and dashed up the stairs. I could tell he was about to cry because he suddenly got mad. He has temper issues.
I heard the door slam and I knew then that he was beyond mad. He really believed he found his father and Trey was basically mocking him about it.
I turned my head to glare at a shocked Trey.
He didn't know my baby could get down like that!
"Twent?!" Ne'Vaeh yelled up the stairs as she went to follow him. I heard the door slam again and I sighed.
"Nice going, Trey!" I snapped sarcastically.
"I didn't do anything!"
I shook my head in disappointment and got off the couch and headed for the stairs. I barely touched the first stair when I heard Trey's voice behind me.
"Tell me what I did. Please." He said softly. For some reason, he sounded ashamed that he didn't know.
"You know," I turned to him, "Trent always have dreams of his father leaving him. Or his father saying he doesn't love him. The bad part about it is...he doesn't even know his father. He's so obsessed with the fact his father wasn't there for him. He's obsessed with finding him to prove to him that he is good enough. He wants to earn his love, his respect. That is something a three-year-old shouldn't have to worry about. But he does. He shouldn't have to worry about being good enough for his father because that's something that should come naturally. He shouldn't be blaming himself because he doesn't know who his father is. That's all me because I was too scared to tell him and still am."
I could feel myself starting to tear up. But I refused to let them fall. I would not cry in front of him again. I've already been to weak and I won't let it show anymore.
"I'm sorry I didn't-"
I shook my head, "It's not your fault. None of it is. It's my fault. I'm the reason he has all this going. I should have just told his father. But I just watched him leave and didn't bother to chase him." I paused, looking directly into Trey's eyes. I could hardly see them because the tears that were threatening to fall was blocking my view.
"I had the chance to stop him." I continued, "I figured if he left, then he must not have loved me the way I loved him. There were things more important. I wasn't good enough for him. So, I did what I did and I really do regret it everyday. Watching my kids struggle to find their father eats me up inside."
I hadn't even realized Trey had moved. He was now standing in front of me. His hand was on my cheek, caressing it.
I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling of him being close to me.
A single tear fell from my eyes but it didn't even make it far down my face because Trey caught it.
"I'm sorry you have to go through that with them." He soothed, "And I'm sorry that, that guy didn't love you enough. He's pretty stupid if you ask me. You will always be good enough. You're perfect."
I pushed his hand off my face and took a step back. He still didn't understand. Everything I said, was exactly how everthing happened between us, but yet, he still doesn't remember.
"You don't understand. I don't think you will."
With that, I turned to go up the stairs, but a hand on my wrist stopped me.
"Let me talk to them."
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Trey.
I walked up the stairs letting Destiny's story sink in. She's been through so much in her life. First, her dad's gold-digging girlfriend didn't want her, then she falls in love, only to have the guy not love her the same and leave her with two kids.
She's strong. I would not be able to handle all of that without going into depression. It's alot for anyone to handle, but she has. She's come to terms with it and she has dealt with it maturely.
She had to grow up early because she had two kids. I just wish that guy would have stayed with her. It would have saved her alot of regret.
I jiggled the door knob, only to find that it was locked. I could hear their high pitched voices talking inside. The sound was muffled, so I couldn't hear anything.
I raised my left hand and knocked on the door.
The voices stopped and I could hear their feet scattering around the room.
After a few minutes, the door opened. I looked down to see Trent staring up at me with a scowl on his face.
Just as I opened my mouth to talk, he scoffed and closed the door once again.
Well, damn. This boy was pretty feisty. He has a temper, like myself. I bet he could hold a grudge. You do not want to get on his bad side.
I could hear Ne'Vaeh as 'who was at the door' but Trent simply said 'the meany'. That kind of hurt. I wasn't trying to be mean. I didn't even know!
The door opened again but this time it was Ne'Vaeh looking up at me, smiling. She looks like she would be a daddy's girl and Trent would be the mama's boy.
"Can I help you Uncle Twey?" She asked.
"Can I come in? I want to talk to you g-"
"NO!" Trent yelled from behind the door.
Ne'Vaeh ignored him though, "Duh you can come in! You wive here too!"
I smiled. She stepped aside and let me into the room. Half of the room was red, while the other half was purple. The purple side had "Ne'Vaeh" in big white letters while the red side had 'Trenton'. There were twin sized beds on either side. One with a tinkerbell comforter while the other side had cars.
All in all, the room was unique. I'm guessing that it was based on their favorite characters and colors. They are very interesting kids.
"Have a seat Uncle Twey." Ne'Vaeh said, pointing to the floor. Ooookay then.
I sat on the floor and crossed my legs while they stood infront of me. Even with me sitting down, I was a tad bit smaller than them.
"So," Trenton began, "What does the big fat meany want to talk about?" He said, crossing his arms over his chest.
I suddenly got nervous. How does a twenty-one year old man get scared because of a three-year old toddler. I need to get a grip.
"Uh, I wanted to, you know, apologize..."
Trent rolled his eyes, "For what, meany?"
Damn. He's doing the same thing Destiny did to him in the kitchen the other day.
"For...laughing?" It came out more like a question. I honestly didn't know what to apologize for. I couldn't say 'Sorry your father doesn't know you exist" or 'Sorry that you don't have a father, but it doesn't look like he's coming back'.
That would make everything worse. Not to mention Trent and Destiny would have my fucking head hanging on a platter above the fireplace.
Trent suddenly smiled, "It's okay, Uncle Twey."
I sighed out of relief. Well, that was easier than I thought.
They glanced at eachother evilly and in a blink of an eye, they tackled me in a group hug, making me fall back with them on top of me.
I love these kids so much.
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Destiny.
I was downstairs watching TV on the couch. Trey had went up stairs about thirty minutes ago and he still isn't back. Knowing my kids, their probably plotting to make his life hell.
The front door opened. I craned my neck to see Craig and Ashley come in laughing and really close. So I guess those too worked it out.
"Everything good?"
Startled, they stopped walking and turned to the source. Once they saw it was me, the visibly relaxed and began walking toward the couch.
"Yeah we talked everything out." Craig replied to my previous question.
I nodded, not wanting to be nosy. It wasn't any of my business what she'd been hiding. She would tell me if she wanted me to know.
"Oh!" Ashley piped up, "So Destiny, the fitting for the dresses are tomorrow. Some of my friends are flying in tonight so they can get fitted as well. Would you like to come? Since you're the brides' maid, I think it would be nice if you knew the other girls."
I nodded, "Sure. That'd be great. What time?"
"Ten."
I nodded, "Sure. I'll swing by early to drop Trent off at daycare."
"Yes!" Ashley cheered, causing me and Craig to laugh out loud.
My phone suddenly vibrated in my back pocket. I shifted a little and pulled it out to see a text message.
From: Tequann
To: Me
Hey baby. I know ur wondereing whts takin me so long. But its a surprise >:) Be ready 30 mins. I knw u still have clothes there so get a nice dress on! Love you. <3
Hm, what has he got planned?
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