Glass Half Empty
I sat on the bus again…this time it was two in the afternoon, and I was headed towards Mos’ restaurant. He had text me with a certain number code that we use, on a prepaid phone. That way my text records and phone records couldn’t be checked on my regular cell. I wore a green Polo shirt with the big size polo dude on it, some white shorts with green and dark blue plaid on them, and some white and green Puma romas. I had on a really thin white hoodie sweatjacket, and my silver necklace…I was fuckin tight as hell, nigga. I wondered what the hell did Mos want? He couldn’t have known about me and white boy Reagan- besides, we didn’t make shit look so obvious…we went downtown and ate, and then to his joint in Little Five. I was there all of about an hour, maybe a little longer- then I left and went to the interview…smellin like weed.
The lucky part, was that I was interviewed by the assistant supervisor for that department- his name was Weston, and he was white. He smoked weed too…
“So…you think you can hook me up with some of what you had?” he asked. I smiled.
“Put me on, and I’ll put you on,” I answered. He shook my hand. “Welcome to Target…it will be a pleasure to work with you,”
I told them fools that I would only be able to work after 12 noon- because I was goin to barber school. The truth was, I was planning on it…the bus finally arrived at MLK and Fairburn Road. I got off the bus, and walked across the street to the restaurant.
Miss Millie was at the register, as I stepped inside. The raggedy ass ceiling fans were on, producing a squeaking sound that I could hear through the bootleg ass speaker system that Mos had set up to play oldies while folks sat down and ate. Miss Millie smiled, pointin to the back. “Mos in the back, seasonin catfish,”
“Okay,” I said. “Renata ever come back around?”
Miss Millie sighed…I know she hated talkin about it. Renata had graduated a year before I did- she used to be fine as fuck, but then she started messin wit that shit…the same shit I was sellin. I never sold to Renata, even though she asked me for some. I’d just lie, and say aint have none. Miss Millie was like a grandma to me- I aint trynna sell her daughter no shit. Kantrell has, though…that nigga fucked Renata, and gave her a dub for that shyt.
“Man…I always wanted to fuck Renata- ever since Doug,” he breathed. “She might’ve fell the fuck off a little, but I banged that pussy out,”
I aint never fuck another bish behind him ever again…don’t get me wrong- Kant’s my homie, but sometimes his choices in women are grimy as fuck. He don’t care how they look sometimes, as long as they givin up the pussy. I mean, I’m one to talk- Vikeisha aint exactly girlfriend material, but while she aint all that in the face, she got a bangin ass body.
Winnie- aint a 10, but she aint below a 7 either. Winnie aint tryin to girlfriend me also, because she still hung up on Devin cause they got a kid together…so when I come through, Winnie knows it’s all about a fuck, some head, and Imma bounce. I may buy her some weed from time to time, to show my appreciation of our agreement, but I aint trynna buy that bish the sun, the moon, and the stars an’ shit. And cut the fuckin deck on all the rest of these hoes I’m bangin out- they lucky, if they get a call back from me or Marta fare home.
“We’ll talk later, okay?”
Miss Millie let out a laugh. “Boy, get yo ass to the back there!”
I walked through the plastic flap curtains into the back- the prep area/heavy cooking area. Mos stood there in the back, playing the part of “Master Chef”, flouring down some catfish fillets in flour and corn starch. He’d then dump them in some water, drain it, then put a second coat of flour back on…he turnt to me, with his ugly apron on with a picture of a lobster on it. “Sup youngblood?”
“Nuttin…just seein what you doin, ol school,” I answered.
“Come over here, and help me out here on these fish,” Mos said.
“Nigga, you know I’m wearin my ‘good clothes’. I can’t be getting flour and fish shit on this- this is Ralph Lauren, nigga!” I griped.
“Nigga get that full-body smock and gloves over there!” snapped Mos. I chuckled as usual…Mos was kinda like that old crazy uncle that every family has, that gets the kids(mainly boys) to do the most insane shit. Be drinkin beer and liquor and smoking weed around you, tellin you, “don’t do this shit right here”- they be the main reason why you start experimentin wit weed and alcohol…so you can do as much dumb shit as they had.
I put on the smock, and gloves, and walked to the table. I pointed to Mos. “You get any fish shyt or flour crap on my clothes, I’m kickin yo ass, old man,”
“I swear, youngblood…you act like a really pretty bitch sometimes,” countered Mos. “You better watch what ol’ Mos is doin, so you can learn how to cook for yo ol’ lady- oh, I forgot…you don’t have an ol’ lady to cook for,”
“Don’t worry bout me. I got my shit on lock,” I said.
“Do you?” said Mos, as his tone changed. “Gabe just got out yesterday. He came to me, askin to sell…I played him like I onno what the fuck he talkin bout. You know that nigga gotta be snitchin- he was supposed to be in there til next year and he walkin the street a couple days after you get out. I’m tellin you- that nigga got fed hands all up his ass like a sock puppet or they fistin his asshole in a porno,”
I sat back, as this shit hit me like a boxing glove to the face…Gabe, a snitch? He wasn’t initially down wit me and Kant and the crew, but Gabe is from my block over on Aline…I went to grade school and middle school with him. I looked to Mos. “You sure about this?”
“Streets been tellin me that he been mouthin yo name to the po-pos when they had snagged you. Now that you out, I’m pretty sure the po-pos gonna be eyein you. I don’t give fuck if he from yo hood, J- don’t talk to that nigga. He a snitch,” said Mos, hard an’ stern.
It made sense, though- two weeks after they hemmed his ass up, the po-pos grabbed me. The truth was, I was sellin that night over there on Bankhead…but I didn’t have my stash on me. I had it in a trap, so I wouldn’t be caught wit it on me…only bad part was I had that dime bag of weed on me that night, which is why I’m doin the stupid probation shit. I sat there, thinkin…could Gabe have ratted a nigga out?
“You know that nigga gotta be dealt wit,” said Mos.
I sighed. “Yup,”
“If Kant is down to do it…I want you an’ him to see wassup- how much this nigga has been jaw-jackin,” said Mos. “Right now I’m pullin back on all my business. If this nigga cause a temporary halt on sales, niggas on the streets gonna be mad…Imma be mad, cause I aint in the green,”
“I’ll see wassup…see if he said anything. Me an’ Kant’ll take care of it,” I said. I took off all that shyt, and slapped it, on the prep table. “Man, get you some A/C back here- trynna make a nigga sweat in this bitch,”
“Buy me some!” yelled out Mos. “Imma broke ass negro trynna run a soul food restaurant,”- what the fuck ever. I walked back out front, as most of the lunch business had gone. Miss Millie was counting up the register and doing paper work, while Renata, was cleaning the tables(yes dammit, I said Renata).
“She trynna clean up after the lunch rush and get her a couple dollars,” said Miss Millie. “We gonna see how long this lasts,”
She stopped and turnt around, pulling her hair out of her eyes. “Oh…hey J. I aint know you was here,”
“Sup,” I said with a little wave. She smiled a little, then returned back to cleanin the tables. I looked to Miss MIllie. “How long she been doin it?”
“This her first day,” she answered.
“Keep it up, Renata,” I said.
She had finished wiping down the tables and was sweeping the floor. She smiled at me. “Aight, J…I’ll see you around,”
Bish, you wont see me…
I got back on the bus. I didn’t know how this shit was gonna turn out- Mos wanted me and Kant to kill Gabe. I might have shot a nigga, like shot him in the ass, or in the leg, but the nigga was still alive. I might’ve even shot at a nigga…but I have never killed a man. Never. I was feelin kinda of nauseous, thinkin about it, as I sat there on the bus. I could see REAL EASY if it was Quint, or one of his buster-ass boys, but Gabe? I aint got no beef wit that nigga…
I stepped in my place, and slumped on the sofa, as Teja came to me. I tried to show her some appreciation, but I was feelin sick to my stomach- I didn’t wanna do it, but I knew how the shit was gonna go down…Mos was gonna call Kant, because he knew I didn’t wanna do Gabe. Mos was gonna stroke Kant’s weakness, which was money- and Kant was gonna come over, and basically drag me to go do it.
“You better get that gwap, shawty! We gotta sell too? If this nigga snitchin, we gotta make this nigga silent,”
The more I thought about it, the more Mom was right. I needed to start puttin as much distance as I could, between me and Mos…he overstepped his boundaries on askin me to do this. I can live with bein a dog, a scoundrel, a dopeboy, a thug, or whatever- but I am not a murderer. I could feel the proverbial walls closing in on me again, as I tried to think my way through this…maybe we didn’t have to kill Gabe. Maybe this nigga didn’t snitch.
But if Gabe was snitchin, that meant I could have folks watchin me…and I didn’t wanna go back to jail- not, when I carefully started to put me and Reagan’s plan together. That, was the reason why I hadn’t went back to the trap on Bankhead and picked the rest of my stash- folks might be trynna watch me.
I jumped, as my thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone ringing. Teja had jumped off the sofa too…I picked up my phone. It was Corliss.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey…what are you doing?”
“Chillin…just got home,” I answered.
“Why you sound all funny?”
“I’m just not feelin well right now,” I said.
“I can come over, if you need help,”
“I’m good,” I said, grimacing, as my stomach felt like it was twisting in knots. Ah, the thought of murder…
“You don’t sound like it!” she yelled. I could hear the concern in her voice, but I was bein stubborn(and stupid) as hell. I didn’t want Corliss anywhere near my shit, my issues. “Screw this, Jacoby- I’m comin over,”
Before I could reply, she had hung up. Damn…
* * * *
My cell phone went off, waking me up…I slowly rose from the sofa, looking at it. An hour had passed, and the call was coming from Corliss.
“Hullo?”
“I’m outside…you gonna let me in?”
“Hold on,” I groaned, trying to get my bearings. I rubbed my eyes…I didn’t realize that anxiety could do this to a nigga. I finally stood from the sofa, and walked to the door opening it. Corliss had just gotten out of her car, looking up at me and smiling. She came up the stairs with two bags, and a small paper bag.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“I brought my homework over to do, while you get some rest,” she answered. She then opened the paper bag, pulling out a bottle of Pepto. “I thought you might need this…I grabbed a pack of crackers and a 7-Up too,”
I smiled a little, as my stomach was still turning flips. “You didn’t have to,”
“I know, now hush and get into the apartment,” ushered Corliss. As soon as we stepped in, Teja ran upon her, as Corliss froze up. “Jacoby!”
“Teja…down, girl! Sit!” I ordered. Teja obeyed.
Corliss relaxed a little. “That’s your dog?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “Have a seat…she won’t bite. Unless you give her a reason to,” I said, with a somewhat slick smile on my face. Corliss sat on the sofa carefully, as to not disturb Teja. I went to the kitchen to take the Pepto, then returned to the living room. I sat on the opposite sofa, Corliss pulled out her laptop. She kinda scanned the place.
“Nice place you got,” she said.
“Thanks,”
“I stay at the dorm with my roommate, Derrica. We get along okay…cept when she tries to bring her boyfriend up there on the weekends. I don’t want the room smellin like sex,”
I laughed a little. “Why? You aint getting any?”
Corliss mouth dropped open. “How DARE you ask me that! I don’t ask about all the little hooka hoes that you be talkin to,”
“Yeah…but you know I’m gettin some,” I said.
“I came over here to help you feel better, and you’re making me feel bad,” pouted Corliss. “You straighten things out with ‘Miss Hooka Hoe’ you were on the phone with the other night?”
My mouth partially dropped open, as I hadn’t expected Corliss to remember my convo wit Vikeisha…speaking of which- she did call Monday night once I got in from the interview…
“Hello?”
“J…”
“What do you want?” I asked.
“I’m sorry I went off on you the other night. I was jest wantin to spend some time wit you and it seems like you blowin me off, for some other stuff. I know we aint goin together or anything, but I onno…I feel like you really pay attention to me, when you around me,”
I do, I thought. I think about beatin down that pussy every minute I’m around yo ass, bitch. “I do pay attention to you when we together, but you also gotta understand- I aint one of these niggas who lay around and don’t do shit…I’m always on my grind, and on the move. I hadn’t seen my moms in about a month and a half…I had to go see her,”
“I’m sorry,” sang Vikeisha. “I really wanna get wit you, and see what’s up. I liked spendin time with you at Jellybeans the other night. Maybe we can go to the movies, or somethin?”
“We’ll see,” I said. “I’m supposed to start workin soon, so my time will be a lil more limited…but I’ll hitchu up when I get a minute,”
“Okay,” she said. “I’m gonna go get in the shower…I had a long night at the store…them customers toe it up, and I had to help fold clothes and clean up,”
“Hey!”
“Hunh?”
“Send me a pic of you in yo panties,”
She laughed on the other end, then a sexy lil sigh. “Okay, J,”
“Aight…you have a good night, Keisha,”
“You too, J…bye,”
I ended the call with her…that’s when Kimmie from Georgia Tech called. We talked about goin dutch one day and hookin up at On The Border…
“That’s none of yo bizness,” I answered. Corliss grinned from ear to ear, as she continued to peck her fingers on her laptop.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said.
“Maaan, lemme lone,” I growled, as I cradled onto the sofa. I couldn’t hear the rest of what Corliss said, as I had dozed off to sleep, but for some weird reason, I felt comfortable with her over there. Other bitches had me all jumpy an’ shit…I don’t mind havin chicks around for a hot minute or overnight, but sooner than later, you’ve got to get the hell on- this aint no ‘indefinite stay”. Know yo place and yo role- this is a place for you to come get yo pussy beat, wash it off, and keep it movin, bitch.
I woke up, my stomach feeling slightly better. I picked up my cell phone and looked at it- two missed calls…one from that Decatur girl Quinna, and the other from white boy Reagan. I was surprised to see that Corliss didn’t answer my phone, like this one chick did a long time ago…answered my phone because I decided to wanna lay in bed until noon. I went the fuck off on that bish, and kicked her out…that’s why I have my ways about bitches in my spot- coz sooner or later, they trynna take over a nigga’s shit, or oversteppin they boundaries. No bitch, you only have ONE home, and its not HERE.
Speakin of Corliss, I looked to the recliner chair, where she was sitting doing her homework. Her books were all open, and she was out- sleep. Her laptop was still on, and in her lap…Teja was licking her hand. I snickered, thinking how funny that was. She had on some wire-rimmed glasses, that were hangin on the end of her nose…they made her look even cuter. Her lips were parted while she slept…I don’t wanna come off, as some sort of creep, but she looked beautiful as hell when she slept.
I got up, and walked to the kitchen, as Teja followed behind me. I knelt down, and rubbed and massaged her coat. “Good girl, Teja…watchin over both of us,”
I fixed Teja some fresh vittles, then washed my hands and begun to make some turkey sandwiches. I had walked, carrying both plates to the sofa, when Corliss woke up. She looked around. “Omigod…I fell asleep?”
“Yup,” I answered.
“How long?” she asked, becoming a little frantic.
“I dunno…I just woke up myself not too long ago,” I answered.
“I can’t…ever do that again,” she said, as she jumped up, trying to gather her papers together, as they were fallin all over the place, along with her books. She looked very distraught, as if she had let her guard down, or something. I kneeled down to help her gather her schoolwork. “Corliss, it’s okay,”
“No, it’s not!”
“Corliss!”- before I knew it, I had grabbed her hands. She looked at me, almost trembling. I rubbed her already soft hands, trying to calm her down. “It’s okay. You fell asleep- so what? You’re my guest…I appreciate you comin over and bringing the Pepto. I really do,”
“Okay,” she said. We then sat with our legs crossed on the carpet. Corliss smiled a little. “I have to admit- that recliner is pretty comfy,”
I kicked out a small laugh. “I know…I go to sleep in it all the time, when I’m watchin basketball games,”
“Teja was pretty sweet. She’s not as scary as I thought she would be,” said Corliss. “She mainly sat on the floor beside the sofa while you were sleeping,”
“Oh yeah…you may wanna wash your hand before you eat…Teja was licking your hand while you were sleepin,” I said. Corliss made a bit of an icky face, then got up off the floor, and went to wash her hands in the sink. I gathered her papers and placed them on top of her laptop…she returned, and I handed her the plate, and a glass of iced raspberry tea. She took a bite of the sandwich. “Thanks...I was starving,”
“I need to ask you something…it may be a bit personal, but I need some insight on something,” I said. “I mean, we are friends, right?”
“Last time I checked, we were,” answered Corliss. She wiped a crumb off her delectable lips, with her pinky finger in such a way that made it look sexy as hell. “Wassup?”
“A couple days ago when we talked, you said you had seen Quint do things that weren’t exactly right. How did you handle it?”
“Well…um…I did, as I had done with you earlier- I tried to justify it, y’know. The ends make the means…I had seen him beat chicks down because they owed him money. Brutally torture people…I was with him, and I tried to stomach all I could, until”- Corliss paused, then swallowed. “He…he stabbed a pregnant lady, because her man owed him money. He didn’t kill her, but he did kill the unborn child. That was the most cruel, and sickening thing I have ever seen a person do. That’s when I could no longer take it,”
“So you left him,” I said. “And spoke nothin of what you had been through…damn, Corliss. Why didn’t you talk to anyone about it?”
“Because the one person who I needed to talk to, wasn’t talking to me anymore,” she said, as her eyes watered. “I still have nightmares about that woman, Jacoby. I put a lot of distance between me and Quint, but that was the price I paid, for wanting to be with him…I have to live with the guilt of that. I probably could’ve talked him out of it…he always listened to me,”
I caressed her shoulder. “Probably not. Like I said, Quint has been ‘gone’ for a while. He’s just out in these streets….me, I’m getting tired of this shit, but the streets has some way of not lettin go of a nigga. At least you had a chance to escape before shit got real…me- I onno,”
“Jacoby?”
I pulled back from taking a bite out of my sandwich. “Yeah?”
“Thanks for listening to me. I know you are nothing like Quint…do what needs to be done, and put the streets behind you,”
I smiled a little, then attacked my sandwich…her answers didn’t exactly help me solve my own, but it strengthened my resolve on what I needed to do, which was to get to the bottom of this shit. I was gonna find Gabe, and see what was what- whether he snitched or not. I guess deep inside, I hoped that he hadn’t- I didn’t wanna kill someone that I considered a homie, or watch him be killed.
When Corliss left, it was 11 PM…I walked her down to her car, through the hateful stares of them lame-ass niggas from building L. I closed her car door. “You get all of your work done?”
“Most of it,” she answered. “You feel better?”
“I’m good, now,” I said. I watched, as Corliss pulled out the parking lot and left…once again, I’m goin up the stairs, and these niggas are doin all this shit talkin. Only when I got to the top, Mr. Po-po was standin there…them niggas started to disperse like cockroaches when the kitchen light is turnt on.
“Sup neighbor,” he said. I nodded, as he took a sip on his beer. “I see you quite the ladies man…a new chick comin out of yo place almost every night,”
We laughed a little. I tried to downplay it. “Nah…that girl was an old high school friend. We just got reacquainted after a while,”
“That makes twice she done came to your place,” he said. “All the other females usually come over just once,”
“I’m just trynna make new friends,” I said. “Living in the big city is sooo lonely,”
The officer laughed. “Whatever. You have a good night, and keep hustlin,”- he went back into his apartment, locking the door.
No doubt about that, playa.