Chapter 18
Everything is dark but soon a specks of light appear. It is so small that it slips though my fingers. The light starts to get bigger and bigger until the darkness is gone and all there is left is light. I can hear noises around the light calling my name. I want to respond but the light is very consuming. The light explodes and I sit up gasping for air.
“Nikki.” I start clawing at my eyes when someone pins my hands down next to me. “Nikki it’s alright. Don’t be scared I got you.” My eyes start to adjust and I see Cole smiling at me. “Welcome back Nikki.”
I look around the room to see my whole family around with happy faces but I have never been more confused and tired in my life. I remember feeling hot then cold but not much more aside from pain.
“Why do I feel strange?” Cole sighs and he sits back on my bed.
“What is the last thing you remember Nikki?” My father ask. I scrunch my forehead to try and think but the last thing I remember was vomiting up my guts and Cole talking about something to do with bloodlust and dying.
“I am not dead, am I?” Everyone laughs but I don’t see what’s funny.
“No. You will feel a bit out of it for a while but you should be fine.” Cole is smiling but I am remembering something he told me so I don’t smile back.
“You said that my bloodlust was fighting for control. Does that mean it is gone?” I sound very hopeful but the look on everyone’s face says something else.
“No what we were talking about is that if your bloodlust won, you still would be Nikki but bloodlust would control you, not your head. You wouldn’t think and you would act on action but that was if your body didn’t kill itself in the process.” I shiver, one because I am cold and two the thought that I could die.
“Here.” Mum passed me a clean blanket that I wrap around myself. I bring my knees up to my chest and tuck in a small ball.
“Could it happen again?” I don’t think I could go through that again.
“Yes it could and it couldn’t. Most vampires will only get it once if not at all, some will get it more than once. It all depends on your bloodlust and how strong it is.” So in other words my father was saying that I had a strong bloodlust and it could happen again.
“What time is it?”
“3 in the morning.” I nod my head hoping that they understand I want to sleep and have a shower. I feel gross.
“I want to have a shower and go to sleep if that is fine with everyone.” Straight away everyone left my room but Cole, Mum and Dad. I knew Travis wanted to stay but I would see him tomorrow.
“Nikki, you need to stop scaring us.” Mum says and I smile.
“Sorry.” I whisper and shiver again from the cold.
“Nikki, Cole is going to stay and watch over you tonight if that is fine with you.” I nod my head at Dad and both my parents kiss me before they walk out.
“Busy day Nikki.” I laugh at what an underestimate that is. First the whole thing with Abigale then this. Was my life a Hollywood movies or something.
“Yeah, busy it was.” I stand up with the blanket around me and get some warm clean cloths. I can feel Cole watching me when I go into my undie draw and I really don’t care what I pull out. I am too cold and bone tried to even think at the moment. I start to run the shower when I thought about what Cole was going to wear. Well he could go nude for all I care. Not like I haven’t seen it before. I step into the hot shower and I began to feel warm and that is when the tears start. I can’t even hold my own body weight. I lean against the glass wall and cry. I didn’t even realise Cole was with me until I felt his naked chest pressed against me. I turn around to find him not completely naked he still has his jeans on. The moment I see him, I use him to lean on and cry on his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything but he just holds me and I assume something similar happened to him but in his case no one was there to comfort him. He kissed my forehead and starts to wash my hair for me. He did this in complete silence.
“Come.” He holds out his hand and I take it. He wrapped a towel around me and started to dry my hair. He sat me on the edge of the bathtub and knelt in front of me. He ran his finger through my wet hair and I closed my eyes savouring his touch thinking I could have lost it. An ach starts to build up around my chest as I start to realise I am falling in love with Cole.
“You have no idea how glad I am that you are ok.” He is stroking my cheek with his thumb. “When your brother rang me up and told me what was going on. I thought I was going to lose you and seeing you like that.” I open my eyes and I can see how scared he was.
“Do you remember much of what happened?” I shake my head.
“The last thing I remember was blowing chunk’s all over the place.” I look down embarrassed that he had to see me like that.
“When I came in I knew straight away that you were trying to keep a hold, most people don’t last as long in the first stage. You kept going from hot to cold and we had to figure out which was you fighting and the bloodlust. I thought I caught the wrong one. I will explain, the cold could be you and the heat can be bloodlust with everyone it is different. If it was the bloodlust I caught and was telling to fight it would have won.” He doesn’t explain anymore because I understand if he caught the wrong one it would be over.
“I thought I did. You weren’t responding to anything and when you started coming around I hoped it was you, otherwise I would never be able to forgive myself.” He presses our head together and I close my eyes and I no longer care if Mum or Dad or anyone walks in.
“I thought I was going to die.” I whisper and look into his eyes. “Thankyou.” I want to kiss him but I know it will be horrible because I can still feel the burn of acid in my throat. Cole stand up and kisses my hair.
“Let’s get you to bed. You need rest.” He leads me into my room and dresses me in the cloths I set out. I also noticed someone came and changed my sheets for me. Cole puts me into bed and it doesn’t take me long before I am lights out.
I am woken by a noise. I groan wishing whoever it was would just shut up, I need more sleep. I feel the bed shift and I grumble. “Go back to sleep, I will who the loon is.” I smile at Coles annoyed voice and I opens my ears to hear Damien coming up the stairs.
“Where is she?” He demands at my door. God would he just shut up.
“Dude if you look, she is trying to sleep.” Cole grumbles.
“I need to see if she is ok.” I feel the both of them come to the bed. “Nikki?” He whispers and shakes me.
“Are you serious? I tell you she is sleeping and you wake her.” I try not to smile at Cole but Damien shakes me again.
“Nikki?”
“Get lost Damien.” I grumble in my pillow. God I need more sleep.
“Ok that is not her.” There is a loud whistle and I jump out of bed rubbing my eyes.
“Are you serious, you idiot I was sleeping. God I need more sleep. Someone get me more sleep please.” Cole burst out into fits of laughter. “Shut it Cole.” I say with a yawn. God it was too early. I started to climb back into bed when Damien stopped me.
“Damien it is to early, let me sleep please.” I use a hint of compulsion but I know it won’t work.
“Nikki it is lunch time.” I groan again thinking I still need more sleep.
“Please just let me sleep. Cole were you this tired?” He stops laughing straight away at my question.
“Yeah. I didn’t get out of bed for 3 days. For you to be up and talking says something about the amount of power you have.” Great I am powerful meaning so is my bloodlust. God I am hungry.
“Why am I so hungry? I feel like I could eat a horse or something bigger.” I rub my face again trying to wake up but failing terribly.
“You are hungry because it takes a lot of energy to fight off bloodlust. Think of how much it takes out of you on a normal bases. Now imagine that 10x worse.” He steps closer to me and holds my chin looking in my eyes.
“Cole what are you doing?” He is still looking at me even when Damien is growling. Great just what I want.
“She needs blood. Damien could you get your mother to bring up some blood and chocolate please.”
“You do it Cole!” Damien argues. I am about to go get it myself when Cole starts to leave.
“Fine, make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.” He leave the room. I sit on my bed and Damien follows.
“So, you sure you’re alright?” I sigh.
“Yeah I guess. I mean I don’t remember much, but Cole was filling me in. He said I was lucky I have strong family support and my father knew what was happening at the time. God Damien, my life is falling apart. My bloodlust is trying to kill me, when I go into over drive which feels like every second. The ball is coming up. I need to find a dance partner. And Eric and Abigale are making my life a living hell, and school. I just want to run away from it all, take off to a far and distant place and never be found.” I sigh and rest my head on Damien’s shoulder.
“Well you have Vixen’s thing this Friday so you can relax. Then if you want I can take you for a few days up to my aunts, she would love to see you again. We can watch horror movies all weekend end and just laze about.” His offers and it sounds so good and tempting.
“I would love to but...”
“Why is there always a but with you Nikki? My whole life I have known you there is always a but at the end.” He lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Well I was going to say I would love to, but it would have to be after the ball.” I smile and lie down and cover my arm over my eyes. Damien leans down and raises on one elbow the way we always used to sit when I was annoyed or upset.
“It’s just, everyone gets it so easy. In class none of the other mature vampires had these many problems. I guess its cause I am younger but still. Why not Travis, oh I forgot he is like a God.” I wave my hands around and Damien laughs.
“I am not sure about a God because if he is a god you are a goddess. You are twins remember.” I groan at how not funny that is
“I guess but it doesn’t feel the same. We have always been close I mean I love him and hate him at the same time. But lately he has been pulling away heaps. We don’t talk anymore and I am worried for him. He is always at parties and he just doesn’t have that Travis glow anymore.” I start to feel guilty that I am talking about such deep things with Damien and not Cole, but Damien has been my friend forever. We stay like that for what feels like forever when Damien pulls out something.
“For you. A get better cd.” I take it off him and put it straight into my cd player and crank the music up almost full blast. And the first song is “I love it”
“How did you know?” I yell over the music and he smiles. I am overly happy and start to dance and jump around singing “I don’t care I love it, I don’t care, I got this feeling on a summer day when you were gone.” I shout to Damien, laughing at the same time. Damien pulls me into him and starts twirling me around the room. I run to one end of the room and Damien at the other and we do a dirty dancing jump and he swings me around the place. I am jumping up and down and swinging my head that I totally forgot that Cole was coming with food. I keep dancing feeling as if I have given up on myself and life and I am free to do whatever I like. I didn’t even know Cole was watching until I got so dizzy from spinning that I feel sick. Neither boys caught me and I was laughing on the floor but then out of know where I started to cry. Then I am laughing then crying. Both boys are just watching me as I go through a terminal of laughing than crying.
“What is wrong with me?” I say laughing before I start to cry again. Then out of nowhere I am fine. I look at Cole for answers and he puts the food down and sits on the bed with me and takes my hands.
“Ok before you start, I am going to say something. When a vampire matures they experience different types of bloodlust in small dosages and some not at all until they are much older. Now when you first matured your father thought that you and Travis both just had the normal types. Travis had the normal ones in small dosages but you Nikki don’t’.” He sighs and runs his finger through his hair. “Nikki you got all 13 at one go in one huge hit on your birthday. So anger and depression were the strongest, but slowly the other are coming out in powerful hits. Like with Abigale what you had there was anger, hurt, guilt, loss and depression all in one hit. This is one of the reasons why what happened yesterday went down. But also from what you father was telling me you also got hit with jealously, sadness, love, fear, and passion as well, so that is 9 out of 14 in one go in huge amounts.” I try to think back to how I was feeling yesterday and I really cannot pick one from another, I just thought it was all anger.
“So what are the other 4 that I haven’t experienced yet?” He looks at me then Damien.
“I never said you hadn’t experienced them, just not on this day.” He looks at Damien again which make me frown. Why does he keep looking at Damien like that? Damien’s phone beeps and when he looks at it and frowns.
“I gotta go, talk to you later.”
“Sure.” The moment he leaves Cole leans in and kisses me taking me by surprise. It’s not long before the shock dies down that I kiss him back.
“Now that was how I wanted to say good morning.” I giggle and Cole has a huge grin on his face and is looking at me lopsided.
“What are you looking at?” I ask looking behind me to try and figure out what has caught his interest.
“Just admiring my handy work.” He runs his finger along the hickey he had given me. I grumble something so he grabs my hands and gets back to the lesson.
“So as I was saying, the others types of bloodlust are happiness which you just were when you were dancing, betrayal when Vixen was no longer talking to you. Envy which I assume is Damien as he has done so much and you envy your brother that he got it so easy.” He is grinning and I know he is missing one.
“Sure now alot, but you are missing one.” He give me a cheeky smile and lunges forward running his hand up my thigh and the along my rib cage. I feel my body heat up and his simple touch. I just want to rip his clothes off and let him take me now.
“The other one is this.” He starts kissing my neck and I start to think sex “No not sex, but close.” Wait I said that out loud. Now I felt embarrassed, if that was even part of bloodlust. He keeps kissing me my neck and I feel him graze him teeth. He kisses up to my ear and nibbles on my ear lobe whispering “Lust.” He takes me into a deep kiss that last forever before he pulls away panting.
“I like you lessons better than the ones my father gave.” I give him a peck on the lips and smile feeling in pure bliss.
“So what are you feeling?”
“Bliss, pure happiness. Why are you going to ask this every time we are around each other?” I wrap my hands around his neck and draw circles at the base.
“Maybe, maybe not depends on my mood and if I want to deal with yours, but yes. One because I am teaching you and too because you are my secret girlfriend and I want to know how you feel.” My smile get bigger so I kiss him again.
“Who said I was you girlfriend?” I raise an eyebrow at him smirking to myself.
“I did, what I saw goes.” He pouts and I laugh. Even when pouting he looks sexy. I am just going to leave it at Cole looks sexy in any look.
“Ok what Cole says goes, but I am hungry and I smell food.” Cole gets up and brings me lunch in bed. I eat up all my food and Cole picks things off my plate. “So what now?” I ask taking another drink of chocolate and blood. Yum.
“You, are going to get dressed and I am going to have a cigarette outside, where you are going to join me!” He kisses me again and leaves me to get dressed. My heart feels giddy and all over the place as I get dressed. I put on some sweat pants and a hoddie because it is cold outside as winter starts to roll in. I go down stairs and outside were Cole is waiting for me. I grin at him and stand next to him leaning against the house.
“Why are you teaching me and telling me all this stuff and not my father?” He turns to face me and his eyes shine with pride.
“Because I went through all this when I was 16 and your father thinks it would be better for you if someone was helping you know, what is going on because admit it I know you much better then you father.” He is right at that, my father tries to understand but he juts doesn’t get it sometimes.
“So what’s the plan, to make sure I can control all this stuff?” I wave my hands around.
“First, you are going to scream as loud as you can.” I frown at him.
“Scream! Why?”
“Because it will help you release some anger. Think about something that makes you angry and scream at it. Actually think about all 14 bloodlust and just scream at them.” He steps back to give me space.
“You know if I do the guards are going to come.” I don’t think he understands what that means for him.
“Come on, just scream then we can move on.” I let out a scream making sure it’s not too loud. “You can do better. Now scream like you hate the world.” This time I think about all my emotions lately and all the stuff happening in my life and I scream. Cole is smiling as I scream out all my frustration and in no time at all 5 guards are around us.
“Nikki, are you ok?” One ask ready to eliminate the threat.
“Yes, just doing some excises.” I smile, they nod and move away.
“That was good, but louder this time.” I scream again trying not to laugh. I scream at my father and his stupid ideas, I scream at the ball which I am dreading, I scream at school and everything involved at school, I scream and Abigale and the council and it feels good.
“Good, how do you feel?”
“It’s weird, I feel calm and relaxed.” I shrug as it is hard to describe the feeling inside me at the moment.
“Good. So when every time you feel like you are going to lose it, scream. I don’t care where you are just scream.” I nod my head at the seriousness in his voice.
“So, how do you plan to help me?” I sit on the floor because my legs are sore.
“I plan to do what I did. Take each of the bloodlust and learn to take control of it. This is more for the anger, depression, hurt, loss, guilt and stuff as these are when you are most distractive.” I know what he means. “So it means you are going to have to be open with me, no hiding secrets.” I bite my lip knowing I cannot do that.
“I want to start with what you said yesterday at lunch. Was all that true?” I nod my head trying to keep myself calm.
“When Abigale walked away Vixen was the next to find me. I don’t remember much but she was sorry because she was trying to force me into joining them, she thought it would be cool. She got Travis and Travis got dad. After that I became a hermit just me and Vixen. It always was just us but every now and then we would sit with Travis and stuff, make conversation with other vampires and witches, but after that we never did.” I shrug as I don’t really want to remember it.
“How old were you?’ I take a deep breath.
“11 and I guess we didn’t know any better. I didn’t even know I could get like that. When I look back I guess I can see that even at 11 I was already starting to mature. I was always upset and I became even shyer then what I already was.” Cole wraps his arms around me and I lean into his touch.
“I was 13 when I guess mine started.” I try to imagine a young Cole trying to figure out what was going on with him all by himself.
“I am guessing your father was no help.” He shrugs so I don’t push him. “So Friday is Vixen’s party, I guess you are coming?” I smile trying to change the subject.
“Yep, what should I get her?” I think because even I don’t know what to get her.
“Not sure, I am getting her more colour hair die and a few other things.” Someone’s calling me in the house so both Cole and I get up to see what they want.
******
We are finding out more about Nikki and the way Cole is going to help her overcome her bloodlust issues.
Hope you all have an amazing day remember to
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