Chapter 3- Bad Ass Friends
"Kim! Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy! Wakey, wakey! KIMBERLY, WAKE UP!" A voiced boomed in my ears. I could tell it was way too early in the morning to be woken up.
"Grr, blummphff... What," I mumbled, ineligibly.
"Come on, Kim. We've got school in fifteen minutes!" Asher's urging voice reminded me. I had the feeling that I did sleep in, but I also had one of those feelings that I didn't get much sleep. I moved around on a hard surface, hearing some crumpling noises. Where am I?
I slightly cracked my eyes, only to get blinded by the sun. Once they adjusted, I recognized my desk with a million pieces of paper scattered everywhere. Did I fall asleep at my desk again? I growled internally.
I felt Asher's hand on my shoulder, shaking it for me to awake. "Come on, Kimmy! We're going to be late!"
"Nooo," I whined, cuddling up with my warm laptop.
"Yes. Let's go. You look like a wreck." He instigated.
"Thanks," I mumbled. He groaned loudly and I could just picture him rubbing a hand across his face like he always does when I'm annoying him or frustrating him. I heard my bed rumble with a noise as he sat down. I want my bed.
"Look, Kimmy, I’m tired too, but do you see me whining and ditching school to sleep? No, so let’s go, please,” He begged. I laid on my laptop with my eyes closed, no intentions of moving or going to school. My focus was all on sleeping. I could not get myself to get up and go to school, not even with a coffee. “Fine, we'll do it your way! Let's see where that'll take us."
Yes! I got up, stiff from my chair, hearing my joints crack back into place as I moved. I felt like a zombie as I walked over to my bed and lay down on my pillow.
"You've got to be shitting me right now. Are you serious! Kimberly Ann Taylor, get your fucking lazy ass out of bed and let's get to school!" Asher ordered. Whoa, Asher telling me to go to school, that’s a first. Usually I’m the one telling him he should go to school.
“Ash, for once I’m going to say this. Let’s skip school.” I grumbled, snuggling with my pillow.
"Are you serious? Am I hearing you right? No school?” He questioned. I nodded my head on the pillow in response, “You look like a horrible wreck anyways and I’m tired as hell too,” He chuckled. I kicked him with the last bit of energy I still had.
"Meanie."
He laughed even louder, lounging next to me. I reached under my pillow getting my PJ pants, while stripping my jeans off with one hand. "Whoa, Kimmy, I'm not that kind of friend. I'm not that whole ‘friends with benefits’ kind of guy," He joked. Please he sleeps with anything that has legs and can breathe! No strings attached is his favorite kind of sex.
I kicked him again, feeling my foot landing a little too close to the uncomfort zone. I snickered with my eyes still closed, putting on my PJ pants. "You’re a tool," I whispered, cuddling back with my pillow.
"Sharpest tool in the woodshed," He mumbled against my forehead planting a kiss. He pulled me closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my head. I moved my head to his shoulder, while for some reason holding his shirt in my hands, breathing in his scent of citrus tropical paradise.
"Can I go to sleep now?" I mumbled still feeling really tired. Now that I was remembering some stuff from yesterday, I had only gotten a few hours of sleep since I was trying to type up my stupid English report. I guess I still have that nerd in me.
"Go for it, babe," He chuckled.
"Tool,” I yawned loudly before falling back asleep.
*****
After a really long, nice nap, I opened my eyes to the late summer daylight streaming into my room. Rolling around in my bed, I realized that Asher wasn't here with me anymore. I sat up, spotting myself in the mirror with bed head. Whoa, I do look scary. I got up, brushing my hair and putting it into a pony tail, as I walked downstairs.
A soft voice was talking and I instantly knew it was Asher's. He sounded like he was on the phone or talking to himself, which he does a lot of.
"I stayed home with Kimmy..... Yeah so.... Umm, I don't thi- 'Cause it's none of you damn business....OK, no I wasn't you, happy now, gees Tiff.... Do it 'cause I know you won't!... OK than I'll do it, Tiffany we're through. Don’t call me again, Okay. Bye, have a nice life."
I walked into the kitchen as he groaned, throwing his phone on the counter swearing. Tiffany is- was his girlfriend. With that phone call, I'm guessing that was their little two minute break- up session. Girlfriend is actually too much of a committed word for their relationship. Sex buddies is the best term. They were each other’s go-to when they needed… well, fill in the blank.
Asher went through “girlfriends” like he went through gum. It’s disgusting. I think I'm being fully serious and accurate to say that at one point he had two girlfriends at once. His brilliant response was, "Oh, I have another girlfriend already?" That was only last year. It was a pretty face palm moment.
Smart best friend I've got here, huh? I leaned against the kitchen wall staring at his back, waiting for him to turn around and catch me here, but I got a way better reaction. When he turned around finding me behind him, his reaction was like he just saw a scene from The Last Exorcism.
"Fu- Kimmy, that's not funny!" He scowled, pointing at me angrily.
“I'm laughing!" I proved, giggled at him.
"How long have you been standing there?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“How long have you been single and Tiffany free?" Yeah that's right, I went there. The one thing is Asher really doesn’t care.
"Stalker! Eavesdropping, now are we,” He snorted.
"This is my house! I can be wherever I want, whenever I want." I commented, walking over to him and poking his chest hard.
"Oh really!" He replied, holding onto my wrist.
"Yes, really! Now, go cook me some breakfast!" I ordered, pushing him.
"Umm, its lunch time sweetheart; get with the program," He mocked, laughing at me.
"Whatever breakfast, lunch, dinner, tomato tomàto; go cook."
"What am I, your chief? Hell no, get your lazy ass to cook something for me!"
"I did! Last night! You remember those brownies, right? You know the ones you ate without me!” I reminded him.
“OH those brownies,” He remembered guiltily. "I'll cook."
"Thought so," I smirked, smacking his ass as he went to the stove.
After a shortly horrible lunch and ending up having to order pizza because Asher doesn't think that pasta doesn't need stirring, we sat on the couch and watched some T.V., with stuffed tummies. By the time I had woken up, it was a little past eleven o’clock, though I could have gone back for the end of the day it’s not like I needed to go to lunch, free study, or physics. Well, I did need physics, but one day shouldn’t harm my already pointless brain.
I was sitting close to Asher, my legs draped over his lap, as I cuddled by his side to keep warm, "Change the stupid channel," I ordered. "Eww gross!! CHANGE IT! CHANGE IT! NOW!-"
Asher laughed pathetically at my face as I screeched on the top of my lungs, “Oh my gosh, Kimmy, chill! It's just a man eating spider!"
"That's disgusting! EW, it’s all hairy and the thing has eight legs for crying out loud! What if that thing starts to crawls up your throat and... Oh my god I think I'm going to be sick!" I gasped, coving my hand over my mouth. Not daring to take any chances he changed the channel to something sports related. I don’t know what’s worse, the spider eating show, or sports.
“I play you in rock, paper, scissors for the control,” I bargained, anything to change the channel to something more likeable.
“Want to go back to watching the man eat the spider? He taunts, lifting the control to change the channel.
“No! Rock, paper, scissors. Come on.” I insisted, placing my fist in the middle of my palm. He sighed, rolling his eyes and versed me. One of the things I can beat Asher in is rock, paper, scissors, so no surprise there when I took the control and switched it to Pretty Little Liars with him begging for a fourth round.
“It’s your favorite show, Ash. Pretty Little Liars.” I chuckle teasingly. What guy’s favorite show is Pretty Little Liars? I’m sure they’d rather watch the news than this.
With slight whines in protest we still ended up watching the show. Asher looked pretty fixated on it, he wasn’t even blinking until the front door opened and shut with a slam.
“I better not be walking into a love nest.” My brother Nick shouted once he got home. I rolled my eyes at him immaturity. Damn, time flies by when you’re skipping school.
“I know Asher just screws girls all the time but when he’s here he’s off the clock.” I joke when I sense my little brother walking in the room. Asher looked at me with a mouth gapping look. I chuckle, especially when I see the corners of his lips turn.
“That’s actually a pretty good one coming from you. Not going to lie.” He admits, almost sounding proudly.
I cheer proudly, throwing my fist up in the air. “I didn’t see you in school.” Nick states pulling on my pony tail as he passes to put his back pack down on the ground. I frown as he passes, noticing he brought a friend home. I don’t know how I knew but I just knew that Nick’s little friend said something completely inappropriate about me because Nick shouted, “That’s my sister! Gross!”
“I don’t want to know.” I mumble under my breath when Asher chuckles at them. Nick comes back in the room and sits on the edge of the sofa nodding his head at me.
“First time that I can remember you skipping school.” Nick tells me.
“I had so much work that I fell asleep on my desk. Again. I just stayed home to sleep and get the rest of my work done.” I tell him.
Nick’s friend walks in the room and nods his head to Asher, “Sup man.” He greets.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Asher asks casually.
“Going good.” Nick’s friends replied. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit curious to know how Asher and this kid know each other, but Asher said something before I could ask.
"By the way little pervert," Asher added. "This hot chick is so out of your league. Only I can tap this ass,” He winked, actually slapping my ass as I bent down to get the control off the ground.
"Gross-" Nick tried defending.
“Was that necessary?” I accuse. I punch him on the shoulder as Nick passed by, smacking his head. Oh yeah, brother sister team work right there! Is it necessary for my best friend to be a pervert flirt, especially in front of my little brother?
Asher laughed hysterically and I swear, I think he even exchanged a high five with Nick's friend. I went back to watching TV as I heard Nick whining in the kitchen. "Aw come on man, you didn't save any pizza for us!"
"Nope!" Ash and I said in harmony, popping the P.
“Mother Fu-"
"HEY! Watch that language!" I warned my little brother. “Don’t think just because you swear you sound cool.”
Nick is only fourteen and a freshman. He's about as immature as every freshman boy there is. Truthfully, I don't know how adults saw the opposite of that. "Haha, you treat him like he's a baby. You were his age when you said that word.” Asher reminded me.
I looked over to Nick with a scowl and narrow cautious eyes. "He's still a baby, and I was fifteen, thank you very much.”
"Oh my god, Kimberly, you’re the most embarrassing, annoying sister ever! Shut your mouth!" Nick grunted, throwing a pillow at me. He’s just mad I didn’t save him any pizza. I mean who can blame me when I have Asher, the human garbage disposal by my side that eats anything in his sight.
"Ha-ha you’re still a baby,” Nick's "friend" teased him like they were in elementary school.
“I’m leaving before worse is said.” Nick defended hold his hands in the air in surrender. I chuckle as I watch them climb up the stairs in escape.
"Umm, my butt is vibrating?" I mentioned, looking at Asher with a puzzled look.
"Well my thigh is vibrating," He stated.
"Maybe it has to do with your phone being in your pocket," I hinted, reaching down to his right jean pocket and grabbing his android.
"Kimmy, don't answer it," Asher ordered in a grumbling tone.
"Ooo, its Dylan!" I said holding up the phone for him to see.
"I don't care now give me." He declared reaching out to get his phone.
"Nope, sorry, going to answer it- Hello?"
"Kimberly!" Ash growled once I picked it up.
I stuck my tongue out and faced him criss crossed, still in his lap. "Umm... Kim? Oh no, wait, sorry Tiff?! Tiffany right?" Dylan stuttered on the other line.
I giggled as I starred at Asher who was scowling at me, and shaking his head. "Nope, you were right. It's Kim. What you want, Dyl?"
"Oh good it is you. Last time I did that to Tiffany, she flipped shit at me!" He explained exaggeratingly. I’m pretty sure shit doesn’t actually flip but that’s just my opinion.
"I could understand why. So, what you want with Asher?" I asked. Asher looked at me frowning, shaking his head. He didn't like it one bit that I took his phone.
"Well, I was calling to ask if he was coming to practice since you know, big game on Friday! You going to let him off the leash?" He joked, laughing.
Was I that controlling in Asher's life? I never thought I was ever the reason for him ditching time with his friends or practice or anything. It’s not like I force him to spend time with me, he’s the one that’s always around. "I don't know. Let me ask him- Hey Ashy, you going to go to practice today or are you too much of sour puss to go?" I teased, pinching his cheeks.
"Don't do that," He mumbled, rubbing his red cheeks. "No I'm not, tell Roberts, to tell coach, that I'm sick, nothing big just going to miss today's practice," He lied, shrugging like it was no big deal.
Oh, but it is a big deal and he knows it. Last time, I heard Coach got so mad when one of the players skipped practice, and another had faked sick, that when he found out, he made the players run around the whole football field twenty times every day before practice; in all their gear and pads! And practice was held an hour longer for the rest of that week. Coach is tough, but he’s accomplished a lot, that's all I had to say.
"You’re dead!" I whispered to him. "Nah Dylan, he said he can't make it. Told me, to tell you, to tell coach, that he's OK, nothing major, but he won't be able to do practice today," Asher nodded his head in approval, liking the way I had put things.
"Is he OK?" Dylan asked sounding concern.
"Yeah he fine! Just a little stomach bug." I assure him.
Asher shook his head at me, frowning. "You’re making me sound weak!" He complained in a whisper.
I shrugged, not caring, "Well, OK then. Oh, and tell him there’s going to be a party at my place after the game. Parents are out of town so no worries. Oh, duh, and of course you’re invited too!" Dylan invited excitedly. What Dylan love more than attending parties? Throwing the parties.
"Thanks Dylan. I’ll think about it, but I’m sure Asher will be there. Enjoy practice!" I tell him.
"Alright, bye. Tell Knight to feel better." He told me.
"I will, bye," I hung up the phone, tossing it back to Asher.
"What did you just drag me into?" Asher asked, sounding a little worried as he grabbed hold of my wrists.
Come on it's not like I've dragged him into worse situations or agreements! OK, dragging him to go bikini shopping or finding PJs and other stuff at Victoria Secret is the limit. I know that now. I have also learned that it is not OK to babysit your two month old neighbor with a boy because when you end up having to go to the store to buy dippers, yes, people will think you’re a family and that he is the father and I am the mother. Getting pregnant in your teen years isn't that surprising anymore.
"Well, I did not sign you up to have a heart transplant. You will not be going to practice, but I might have said yes for you to be at one of your good friend’s parties," I said with a smile on my face.
"You told Dyl I was going to his party?" He confirmed like it was going to be no big deal.
"Yeah, pretty much.” I agreed, nodding my head.
“Do you want to come?” Asher offers, drumming his fingers on my knees as I gave the TV back some of my attention.
“I don’t know.” I mumbled. I was on the fence about the whole party thing. A part of me told me it’d be good to get out and socialize. Go to a party because it’s my senior year, but another part of me wanted to stay home and watch movie or probably finish projects or essays.
“Are you not going because you nearly got 'killed’ at the last party you went to?” He chuckles at me out of humor and most likely stupidity.
It’s true! I was almost killed! In my eyes, I would be dead by now if tequila shots didn't save my life, strange I know, but so true. "Hey! That Christmas tree was coming down, man. If Zac hadn't called me over to try a shot, you would have lost the best thing in your life!"
"Mhm, OK, we'll go with that." Asher snickers.
"Because you know it’s true," I confirmed, turning in his lap to watch the rest of my show.
“You should come. It’ll be fun.” He tries to convince me.
“But what if I’m busy with other stuff-”
“School work can wait, little nerd. Party is on a Friday so that means you have Saturday and Sunday to do whatever school work you plan on finishing.”
“I guess you’re right. Maybe I’ll go.” I mumble under my breath but loud enough for Asher to hear.
“Good. Good for you.” He smiles, patting my head. “Well, at least this time I won’t have to go to another dreadful dress shopping marathon," he chuckles.
Boy he is so wrong about that! If I’m going to this party I’m getting another dress. "HA! Who says I'm- no I'm sorry we aren't going dress shopping?" I asked.
"What? No way! You don't need another dress, Kim. You have a dozen in your closet! Besides, I went last time, so it's Katie's turn to go." Asher argues, shaking his head.
"Now that's where your wrong, best friend," I corrected him, turning back around in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Katie koo will be visiting her grandma in Maine this weekend which means tomorrow you’re going to take me dress shopping after school." I declared that day making sure it will happen and kissed his cheek. There is no way I'm going dress shopping alone! You know how miserable that would be! Lucky Katie gets to miss some school and go to Maine.
"NO!" Ash whined throwing his head back howling. "No, no, no this can't be happening again! Kate you betrayer! Not another dress -"
"Save the whining bud, you’re not getting out of this one. It's you, me, The Mall, many stores, and the hunt to find one perfect dress." Now that I know how he really doesn’t want to go I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge! I’m going to take my pleasant sweet time and find the perfect dress.
"Why must I be punished? Why must I earn this misery? This life of pure melancholy-”
"Wow, I’m impressed, very nice use of big words Ashy. But it’s OK. You’re miserable life will be full of sunshine and candy fields when you’re with me. At the mall. Surrounded by dresses. For hours. In search for the perfect dress.” I laugh as his face drops with a dissatisfied look at every mention of tomorrow. I can’t help but continue to laugh as I kiss his cheek and squeeze myself on him, giving him the tightest hug. He laughs as he tries prying me off. He finally figures it out, though, when he starts to tickle me on my only ticklish spot I have. "No! ASHER! STOP! Hahahaha! HAHAHA TI-TI- TICK…LES!" I squealed, kicking him.
"Nick... Are you positive that your sister and that dude are just friends?" I hear Nick's friend ask as they both sit on the stairs watching.
"I don't know man; I'm getting second thoughts myself," Nick replies.
"Leave us alone or I’m going to tell that very embarrassing story about you in your underwear-” I shouted as my dad and mom walked in the room at the exact moment with Nick shouting to his friend to run up the stairs.
"Who’s in their underwear?" Dad asked curiously, looking disapprovingly at the way I was sitting on Asher. I turned around, getting up from Ash’s lap. Asher chuckles, changing the channel on the TV.
"Nothing, daddy," I said in my sweetest voice, kissing his cheek as I passed by him.
"Mhm," He mumbles, walking to his office to work more.
"Hi, mommy. How was your day?" I asked kindly, sitting on a stool in the kitchen, watching her prep dinner.
"Same ole, same ole. I have another night shift at ten, so I'm just going to cook dinner and sleep until then." She tells me, pulling her dark brown hair that looked similar to mine in a ponytail.
"OK, mommy. Do you need any help?" I asked, probably the first time in years.
"All right sweetheart the jig is up. What do you want and how much is it going to cost?" Mom asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
I laugh and so does Asher when he comes into the kitchen sitting next to me, "Hi Mrs. Taylor," Asher says.
"Asher sweetie, what have you done to my daughter? She's being super nice, and it didn't take me long to figure out that she wants something," she giggled, waving her knife in the air.
"What doesn't she want?" Asher corrects my mom, laughing with her.
I frowned slapping his arm. “I'm a naturally good person! OK so here's the deal I need money to buy a new dress. Can I take the credit card please?" I begged, showing her my irresistible smoldering look, yes the one that I have mastered, mwahaha.
"Another one!" Mom says shockingly.
"That's what I said." Ash mumbles, eating an apple he’s found in the fruit basket near him.
"Yes, please!" I begged again.
"Fine. You know where it is," Mom gave in with a long held sigh, “You know the limit though. And nothing to scandalous, not that I don’t trust you or anything.”
"Yay! Thank you, mommy! You’re the best!" I said kissing her cheek. "Hey can I have a bite of that apple?" I asked, pointing to the one in Asher's hand.
"No it's mi- hey!" He shouted, frowning as I snatched it from his hand and took a huge bit from it.
"Thanshhx," I grumbled with my mouth full of fruit giving it back to him.
"My apple..." Ash said with a frowning face. I think my mom and I laughed a little more than we should on the depressed look on Asher’s face about one silly apple.
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