Since I worked Christmas Eve my boss gave me two hours off this evening, so I thought I'd just write a fun little rant before I have to go back to work.
So let's talk about: Dialogue
Lately I've been reading some dialogue that's stiff.
When was the last time you said "I find him ostentatiously intrepid with his blazon and would be exultant to see him exude it elsewhere."
Sure, you can write descriptions like that, but when it comes to your characters actually saying it, think again.
If they're thirteen, they'd say something like "He's annoying the hell out of me. I wish he'd go away."
And this is seriously one of the easiest fixes when writing. If you have something for your character to say, say it out loud first.
Isn't it kind of hard to say "ostentatiously" or "exultant" without kind of stumbling over your own tongue?
So if it feels weird for you to say, don't have your character say it.
Make it natural.
Make sure it's something you would say. Or even something you've heard someone else say before.
And another thing is the dialect.
Now, I come from the southern USA and, as a former waitress in a tourist town, I've gotten to meet people from all over the place.
And because I live in the south, people just tell me I have an accent (and mostly it's people from the north that also think I should have missing teeth and be married to my brother, since people in the south don't go to school and just drink moonshine all day while shooting guns. Obviously.)
Do I have an accent? I'll admit that I have a tiny one.
I do say "y'all". I tend to cut the "g" off the end of my words...a lot...
But I also have three bachelor degrees, so you tell me whose ignorant and uneducated.
But it gets me when characters move to new places way far from where they were raised and everyone talks the same as they do.
When I went to New York a guy carded me, asked me a bunch of stupid questions, and then asked where I was from. Of course I was really annoyed (it says RIGHT THERE on my driver's license), but I just angrily said "Arkansas".
And what did he say? "I know. I just love to hear you guys talk."
So I'll admit. I have a bit of an accent. But how come characters in these stories are only British? (I know there's an obvious reason, but I'm trying to avoid that topic...)
Although I do admit that I have a horrible habit of imitating noises and people. I've become really, really good at imitating literally any kind of accent (I can also bark like a Labrador, meow like a Siamese Cat, and make a variety of other noises...such as telephone ringing and microwave beeping, but that's beside the point.)
So, my point is, people can change their dialect or accent just a bit. But not all the time, all at once. For once I'd like to see some communication barriers. Those are funny.
My best friend works with guys from everywhere, but they all pinpoint his accent and tease him about it (and trust me, his is not bad at all).
And did you know that people in different geographic locations have different words for the same thing? I'm talking like the "soda" and "pop" debate. Or the "dinner" and "supper" debate.
So be conscious of this.
There's a really cool dialect quiz from the New York Times, and if you click the external link then it'll take you to it. (Obviously it knew I was from the south.)
It's fun to read through the options and think "who calls it that?"
So take it. And tell me where it thinks you're from!
(Also, fun fact. You can train yourself to have a different accent and you can pretty much pull it off for your entire life. BUT, the way to tell a person's true, 100% original accent is to scare the absolute shit out of them. Their body will go into panic mode and revert back to their original accent. Fun psychology fact for you).
And, also, enjoy Joseph Birdsong's video "Sorta True Facts about Arkansas" off to the side.
Being an Arkansan myself I should have taken offense to that, but I think it's funny. It's a little hard to offend me, because I'm used to serving ignorant people that think they know more about the south than I do.
Anyway, have a great night! And hopefully you had a great Christmas too! Sorry for the short rant, but I gotta get back to work!
Love,
Addy!! XOXOXO