Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Things to Stop Doing with Male Characters

Sorry I've been gone. I've been busy with stuff. And not that anyone cares, but for the last three weekends in a row I've been running half marathons and finished in the top each time. So, don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something you can if you work for it.

Anyway, I'm back with a rant that's only fair, because I did it for the females. So let's talk about: Things to Stop Doing with Male Characters

Am I the only one disappointed in the quality of male characters in stories and not just because "guys aren't like that in real life?" (Because some guys are narcissists and some are straight out of a fucking John Green novel. They're about as diverse as girls if you can believe that. Gasp).

I feel like they have three roles: the bad boy, the depressed boy, the philosopher. Yet, with these roles, hardly any of them ever manage to walk away as a dynamic character (unless they are a "reformed bad-boy, but y'all know how I feel about that shit. You have to change for yourself, because if you change for someone else, it'll never work).

So here's my list of things to not do with male characters.

1. Making them one dimensional

Have you ever noticed that most male characters are only allowed to have one interest, one passion, one personality, or one attitude? If the guy is an athlete he's only allowed to do butch, jock things. He isn't allowed to have other interests.

Now, I'll be the first to admit, being a good athlete takes the majority of your time. Hell, I'm sitting here with ice on my joints, because runner's knee is a bitch, but working out is important in my life. So, yes, it takes a long time. But people are allowed to have other interests.

Why can't he also like painting, or reading, or cooking, or maybe even sewing, or writing, or studying, or something? You can have other interests. You can't just live your entire life absorbed in one thing. Yes, you can like one thing more than anything else, but surely to God you have other interests. Please. Don't you people like sleeping? Or eating? Or something?

It's the same with the depressed male characters. They're only allowed to sit around and brood. Depressed people can have hobbies. They can have interests. I'd like to see some guy that doesn't fall easily into one category that they never leave.

And I also hate that their only emotion (besides their normal personality) is aggression. Guys cry. Guys get irrationally upset. My best friend's favorite thing to do is get annoyed. It's not that he's mad it's just that he does his "you're a fucking dumbass" face and rolls his eyes like a little girl when I make him really upset. Guys can have a multitude of emotions just like girls. Why does no one ever explore that? Please do.

2. Not going past their looks

It annoys me so much when a male character is never described past what they look like. "His gorgeous blonde hair, piercing blue orbs [did you know people actually call eyes orbs these days? I find that interesting], six pack abs, and killer body." And unfortunately that's about all we ever get to know about him (except the MC is totally in love with him and he may or may not have a "dark past" that makes him a dick to everyone, but really he has a good heart.)

Honestly, I'm horrible at describing people's physical appearance. I don't pay attention to what people look like (which I've been told is the opposite of every other writer in the world, but whatever. Sue me). If you tell me about the dude with the brown hair and green eyes and washboard abs, I probably don't have any clue who you're talking about.

If you tell me about the funny guy with the really dry sense of humor or the really anxious guy that's always taping his foot or rubbing his fingers, I know who you're talking about. And, honestly, it tells me a lot more about that person. If you notice someone is funny, they're probably pretty vocal or witty or observant. If you tell me they're anxious, they're probably easily distracted, fairly quiet, and maybe even somewhat emotional. It's a general idea (not always true) that tells me more than their hair and eye color.