Chapter 35
Miranda
I tap my feet impatiently to keep from freaking out. I chew on my bottom lip and glance at my phone. I try dialing Sam number again and instead of it ringing it goes straight to voicemail. I stand with fright and fear for the love of my life. "I'm not waiting for authorities. I'm going to Paul place now."
"The policemen told us to wait."
"NO." I hiss. Rose take a step back away from me and I grab my keys. Nathalie tries to stop me but I ignore her. There was no way I was going to sit and wait for information. I was going to go and get Sam back myself.
"Mom." Nathalie calls. "You're not thinking clearly. Paul is not himself."
"And that is the reason why Sam shouldn't be around him a minute longer." I almost choke on my spit from thinking of the things Paul could be doing. "He could hurt her."
"You know Sam can take care of herself." Rose say. "Sam is a fighter. She is going to be fine."
"Sam has been forced to save herself countless times. I'm going to save her this time and I will kill Paul if that's what I will have to do."
Ballie, Paul mother stands in shock and surprise.
I head out the front door ignoring her, Nathalie and Rose finally decide to ride with me and Ballie screams saying she is going to call the police and if anything happened to her son she was going to sue. I roll my eyes and speed off. The car ride is silent and all I can think about is Sam and the horrible texts messages I sent her when she didn't answer the phone.
Why did I immediately think she was ignoring me? She was in danger this entire time and I didn't take time out to think that. I swallow and Nathalie squeezes my fingers. I look at her and notice that tears is running down my face. "She's going to be fine." Nathalie whisper to me. I wipe my eyes and focus on getting to Paul house faster.
I park my car in front of the house and storm towards the house. "Wait." Rose stop me. "You can't just storm in there."
"And what is your grand plan. I will not wait another second." I hiss.
"We can sneak in through the back. They never lock the door around here." Rose explains. I nod my head and we sneak through the gate and behind the house. I don't hear any screaming when we step through the small house but I also didn't hear Sam voice either and this make me nervous. I almost scream when I see Austin body on the floor the closer we get to the front but Rose shush me. I swallow and nod my head. Rose slowly bend down and check for a pulse and she whispers, "He is fine."
It looked like he was dragged back here. I step over him and slip off my heels and we then step into the main room to see Paul pacing back and forth and Sam sitting on the couch with a bruised face. Rose charges at Paul and knocks the gun out his hand. Sam jumps up and notice me and I pull her against me.
"Miranda." Sam hisses. "What are you doing here?"
"Saving you." I reply.
"Are you fucking nuts." Sam hisses.
"Rose!" Nathalie screams.
Paul and Rose wrestle for the gun and Sam rushes over to the altercation. I wanted to stop her but she slips through my fingers. Paul pins Rose to the floor and Sam wraps her arms around Paul putting him a choke hold. She squeezes as tight as she can but he was stronger. Rose finally gets up while holding her head and tries to help Sam keep Paul down. Paul shakes and the gun slides across the floor to my feet. I pick it up and point the gun towards the boy, "Stop." I say. "It's over Paul."
Paul finally stops and Sam lets him go and back up into the wall exhausted. Paul stands slowly with a grin on his face and he take a step toward me. "I'm not afraid to shoot you." I say.
"Shoot me." He pushes.
I swallow and Rose look between the both of us and Sam stands before shouting, "Give me the fucking gun, Miranda."
"Shoot me!" Paul screams and I hold on tighter to the deadly weapon. I knew how to handle it. I was a skilled shooter. I knew with where I had the gun position towards his face and the close range would kill him instantly. I knew his blood would splatter on my face and my Michael Kors blouse. I also knew with Sam this close blood would get on her also. Sam.
"Give me the fucking gun, Miranda!"
"Mom, don't."
"Miranda listen to your daughter and girlfriend. That bitch is not worth it."
This evil and worthless human has been planning ways to ruin our lives. This was the chance to get rid of him. He wouldn't give up. My father always told me to get rid of all enemies in any way possible. This was my chance. I would get a lawyer and I would get away with it. I would get away with murder and we could finally be happy. Me and Nathalie. Me and Sam. We could be a family. The family I always wanted. The family I forced myself to stop fantasizing about after Nathalie father. This was my ultimate chance to get rid of all the demons holding me back.
"Do it." He pushes. "Do it. I can see it. You wanna do it."
My finger lies on the trigger. Just a little more pressure.
"You're just as sick as me." Paul say.
"Miranda please don't do this." Sam pleads.
"Sick."
POW
POW...POW...POW
My ears ring from the sound and Sam, Rose, and Nathalie looks at me in shock and almost fear. I inhale before slowly putting the gun down. For the next few seconds it is silent and my life hasn't been this silent in a long time. I clench my jaw and Sam touches my wrist slowly and I flinch softly. She take the gun from my fingers and stare at me. I refuse to look at her.
The police storm into the house and Paul stands there with his eyes widen and his ears ringing from the gunshots. I look up at him and notice the gunshots in the wall behind him. "My aim use to be better." I tell him. "I won't miss next time. Stay away from my family."
With that I storm out the house and let the policemen deal with the rest. Ballie, Paul mother rush into the house and pull her only son into her arms. I couldn't hate her for the love she had for her insane boy. I answer the officer's questions and sit through Sam check-up as the medic checks her wounds and later that night drive home silently. I walk through the house and throw my keys on the table and strip myself from all my clothing. I sit on the end of the bed and Sam watches me before taking a seat next to me.
Tears forms in my eyes and she grab my head and lay it on her lap. "He was right." I say in a dull tone.
She shushes me with me a kiss. "You're a skilled shooter, Mira. If you wanted him dead he would be dead."
"I do want him dead."
Sam is silent.
"You saved his life, Sam." I whisper before finally closing my eyes and sleeping.
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I wake up in fright, "Sam." My hands move wildly across the bed in search for her. Sam hurries out the bathroom and come to the bed. She shushes me, "I'm here. I'm okay." I rub my eyes and sit up fully. It was really hot in the room and I was sweating. "Breathe." Sam coaches me through the night. This has been going on for months. I clench my jaw in aggravation. "I should have killed that bastard." I scream.
"Miranda."
I flinch away from her and stand running my fingers through my wet hair. These nightmares was destroying my life.
Sam sighs and I knew this was hurting her also. "These nightmares are normal."
"Then why haven't you had any nightmares?" I ask.
Sam shrug. "Different people deal with things differently."
I roll my eyes and go into the bathroom ignoring her. Sam gives me space and let me shower alone. But, she knows to keep the bathroom door open so I can hear her. I always have to know where she is at all times. Throughout the night and throughout the day. The only way for me to fall asleep is with her wrapped in my arms. We haven't had a night apart in months. I've tried but it has only ended bad with me having a panic attack and her rushing over.
Nathalie has tried to help with coming over while Sam work on a huge project but when she's not around it makes me nervous. I have dreams of Paul killing Sam and sending me a letter saying, I should have finished the job. I was weak and I was going to pay for the consequences.
I walk into the room with a towel wrapped around me. This was becoming a routine. Sam kisses me softly and pulls the towel off my body. She kisses me all over and whispers loving words in my ear until I'm silently screaming in ecstasy.
The next morning I get up and prepare for work. I notice how sluggish Sam is becoming and I sit at the dining room table waiting on her to come out of the room. "Good Morning." She smiles kissing me on the forehead.
I have to give it to her. She's good at this. Good at covering up her exhaustion. But, I also knew her grades were slipping and I was holding her back. "Don't come back tonight." I tell her.
"What?" She ask in shock.
"Don't come back tonight." I stand and grab my keys.
"Don't walk away from me." Sam hisses grabbing my shoulder. "Talk to me."
"I need to deal with this alone."
Sam roll her eyes, "I'm not going anywhere, Miranda. We will beat this together."
I snatch away from her and I can see the hurt in her eyes. "I want you to leave." I tell her. Tears form in my eyes and Sam look at me in surprise and confusion. "I need you to leave, Sam."
"Miranda, don't." Sam say. Realization on her face. "Don't do this."
"Please." I whisper. "Please, leave."
Sam clenches her jaw and she squeeze her fist. "I'm not going anywhere."
I grab my keys and try to walk away but Sam grab my shoulder. "No. You don't get to do this Miranda. We stick together."
"I can't sleep."
"It will get better. We just need time." Sam explains to me. "I know you can't see it but you're getting better. It takes time."
"I won't get better unless you're away."
"You're wrong."
"Please leave." I beg. "Please don't make this harder...
"I'm not fucking leaving Miranda." Sam shouts. "I love you. Please. Miranda." Sam holds my face. "Look at me. Can't you see you're fucking breaking my heart right now. Please, baby. Mira. Don't leave me. Don't leave me again."
"I can get someone to take your things back to your place." I tell her. "It can all be there by tomorrow." I try to walk away but Sam rushes in front of me. She tries to stop me but it was impossible. "Sam." I tell her. "Let me go."
Sam kisses me passionately and I kiss her back softly. I open my eyes and I tell her softly, "I want to give you a family, Sam. But, I can't do it until I'm better. This will make me better. Please, let me go."
Sam backs away and I walk toward the door and when I touch the knob she tells me, "If you leave.... I won't be able to take you back."
I turn around to look at her in shock. I swallow. She was threatening our relationship. "If you walk out that door. We're done, Miranda." She say.
"Wait for me." I whisper. "I love you."
I walk out the door.
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My flight finally lands and I look at the texts I get from my daughter. She's pissed I left without telling her and she's even more pissed because Sam is a mess. She blames me. I get off the plane and frown at all the trees. I wasn't use to this type of environment at all.
A few hours later I make it to the house. It's in the country surrounded by land and I even spot a few horses. I knock on the door and the person who open it eyes widen in shock. I guess this was me facing my fears. "Paul." I nod.
He look lost for words. "Paul who is it?" I could hear his mother asking. She get closer to the door and quickly grab the phone dialing 9-1-1. "Don't be dramatic." I welcome myself in the home since they didn't have any manners.
"What--what are you doing here?" Ballie stutters.
"I can't sleep." I tell her. "I can't do my job and I'm pushing the love of my life away. And you're going to fix it." I sneer at Paul.
"I'm calling the police."
"Mom stop." Paul say. "Come in, Miranda."
I listen to him and we head into the living room. The wooden floors and the southern style was appealing. I put a note in my phone to pick up pieces dealing with southern culture. "Nice home." I tell Ballie. She looks at me suspiciously but I can see the pride in her eyes from the compliment about her home.
Ballie disappears into the kitchen. I take a seat and Paul sit across from me and ask, "You're not here to kill me are you?" He laughs. I roll my eyes at the horrible joke.
"Too soon?" He ask.
"You tried to destroy my life. Sam life, Nathalie...Rose. Why?"
Paul shrugs, "I'm crazy. It wasn't me."
"That's a poor excuse." I sneer. "Don't sit here and lie to me like you're lying to your therapist to avoid jail."
"Take a walk with me." Paul stands and I follow him. We walk out the house and towards a tree. "My mom is nosy."
I ignore him.
"I've been trapped for years now. I've always been different and to avoid going to therapy with someone who didn't understand me. I began to play along. I took the meds and I pretended to be this sweet loving boy I wasn't. I continued to draw things my mother approved of but..." Paul stops and bend down digging something up from underneath the bench. He then shows me a scrapbook and it's pictures of his artwork. It's dark and I can't really understand the pictures of dead corpses and dark images. "Going to school and showing off this type of work get you into trouble in grade school. I had to hide who I really was for years and I guess I forced the image of Rose being the first to understand the real me and when that didn't work out I guess I finally snapped."
"She never liked you." I tell him.
"I know." He takes a seat.
"How do you sleep at night?" I ask him.
"Sleeping pills can help." He tells me.
"I don't want to give into the drugs." I reply.
"It's going to be hard." He says.
"Tell me." I say.
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The first night is the hardest. Sam doesn't call me and she doesn't even text me. Not that I deserve anything from her. I lay in my hotel bed and text her, 'I love you' and lock my phone before trying to sleep. I wake up in a fright and my hair and chest is wet from sweating. It's the same damn dream. I unlock my phone ready to call Sam but I refuse. I go to our message thread and see she has read my message but hasn't responded. I frown and my breathing becomes difficult. I shut my eyes and dial Paul number, "Can't sleep." He answers through the phone.
"I hate you." I tell him before hanging up the phone. I don't get much sleep that night.
I visit Paul everyday and his mother even offers me dinner one night. She tells me that my visits helps him as much as it seems to help me and I can stay as long as I need to. I text Sam, 'I love you' every night.
She never responds.
I call Paul again after a nightmare, "Hello." He always answers with a positive vibe. I hate it.
"I hate you." I tell him for the second week in a row. But, this time before I can hang up the phone he say, "Tell me about your dream."
I don't even think about it. I just start, "I wake up and Sam is nowhere to be found. I search around the house and then the dream twist and I'm standing in front of you with the gun again. You're telling me to shoot you but Sam is telling me not to. I always listen to Sam. The room twist again and Sam is dead in my arms and I'm reading a letter from you that says, "I should have finished the job and I'm weak."
"I would never send a letter." Paul say.
I chuckle, "Are you serious right now?" I continue to laugh through the phone and I know he probably knows I'm insane. "I hate you." I tell him. "Here I am talking to you on the phone when I should be knocked up right now about to have Sam babies."
"Do you regret it?"
"Regret what?" I hiss.
"Not shooting me?" He ask.
"Yes." I tell him. "I would be able to sleep at night." I tell him before hanging up the phone.
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Paul teaches me to ride horses and we go fishing. It's the most ridiculous time of my life but it's peaceful and I can actually think. I bring my notepad along and sketch models and outfits to send to my team back home.
I look at my phone and stare at the message thread. It's been 2 months now.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I text her this every night. "Do you miss her?" Paul ask.
I look at him with a murderous stare. "Don't ever speak of her again or I'll drown you."
Paul nods. That is the first and last time he ever brings Sam up.
That night I call him and tell him, "I hate you."
"I don't hate you." He says.
I'm shock. These conversations are usually very short. "I thought I did but I don't. You handle things way better than I can. I respect you for that."
"I'm not like you." I tell him.
"I know but..
"There is no buts Paul." I hiss and hang up the phone.
A few weeks later we sit in the main room and he paints while I finish up a few sketches and when I fall asleep that night I wake up in a shock. I look around my room and the sun is shining in the hotel room. I grab my phone and it's almost 9am. I run my fingers through my hair and hurry to dress to drive to Paul home. I beat on the door and he answers with a smile. I roll my eyes and march into the house. "When I saw no call from you I figured you would be back on a plane back home." He stares at me. "You're upset. You can sleep again. You can go home." He finishes sadly.
"I hate you." I scream at him. "I hate you because not only did you destroy my life but you destroyed the one thing I had to call mine besides Nathalie. I found love and you ripped that away from me. I can sleep now but I will have to live with this for the rest of my life. I left her, again."
"You're better now." Paul tells me confused. He looks vulnerable and small in his sleeping pants and shirt. His hair is longer because he decided to let it grow out."I thought...
"You thought wrong." I tell him. "I will always hate you Paul and you're going to have to live with that for the rest of your pathetic life."
"That's my punishment?" He looks up at me with wet tears. "I'll...." He swallows. "I accept your hatred for me."
It's silent and I can hear Ballie screaming from Paul up the steps. "Do you wish you killed me?" He questions.
"Everyday." I tell him. "Goodbye Paul."
I leave.
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I get off the plane and the first place I go is to Nathalie apartment. The place is empty. I'm guessing everyone is in class. The spring semester started a month ago and I knew Sam was probably thriving in her most difficult classes yet. I go into her room and see the floor plans scattered on the floor along with books. I pick them up and smile.
I take a shower in her bathroom and throw on one of her hoodies and sweatpants and sniff her scent. I then patiently wait for her to come home. I scroll through our message thread.
3 months away from her.
90 days.
Almost hundred 'I love yous'
The door close and I could hear laughter and Nathalie. "Hold up." My heart stops when I hear her voice. "I need to grab my things and I'm coming." My heart beats rapidly the closer she get to the door. The door opens and my heart stops. She looks at me in shock and scream, "Shit." She jumps back and then pause and we stare at each other. "Miranda?" She questions. She steps closer and run her fingers through my hair that's longer now. I had on no make-up. It was no point of wearing it down there in the country.
"Sam? Are you okay?"
It's a girl. Someone I never met before. She looks concern and her eyebrow arches. "Why she's in your clothes."
Sam ignores her and take a step back. Nathalie comes into the room and her smile brightens the entire room. She pulls me in a hug and I squeeze her back. She kisses me and I laugh. Sam turns to walk away and the girl follows asking questions. I hear the door slam and Nathalie say, "She's in shock. You should have called."
"I wasn't thinking. I was too excited to get back."
"Mom." Nathalie questions. "It's been months. Where did you go? If it wasn't for your frequent messages I would have thought you were dead. It wasn't fair to me and it definitely wasn't fair to Sam."
"I know." I accept her cold words. I fucked up but I couldn't help but ask, "Who is the girl?"
Nathalie looks away. "Sam she was hurting a lot...
I nod my head. "Okay. I'll...I'll just have to win her back." I stand and run my fingers through my hair. I walk out the room with purpose but Nathalie stops me. "Give her space. Let her come back on her own. You can't just jump back into her life. She's preparing for this huge job opportunity and..." Nathalie looks away. "I love you mom but you can't just come back and turn our lives upside down again. Sam is doing well but respect her space and decisions the same way she respected your decision to disappear off the face of the earth."
"I love her." I say.
"I know." Nathalie replies.
I catch Nathalie up but avoid telling her where I went and she seems to respect that for now but I knew soon I was going to have to tell her the truth. I leave and head back to my place and all of Sam things are gone. I cook dinner and eat alone. I check my emails and submit a few sketches before telling Eugene I will be returning tomorrow.
I then lay in my bed and text Sam again, 'I love you' I press send and I chew on my bottom lip, hoping she will text back. But, she doesn't. Before I close my eyes, I dial Paul number and he answers in surprise. "I hate you." I tell him before hanging up and sleeping through the night.
It wasn't going to be easy but I was going to win her back.
The End.
So, don't freak out on me. There will be a sequel. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Check out my other work.